“I am going for a hooficure and that is that!”
"我要去找一个蹄子，就是这样!"
“You are not going--”
"你不能去——"
“I am! I am!”
""是的！我就是!"
I have to admit, after dying (again), taking all day to get back, and having more wires and tubes in my body than anypony had a right to, smacking into the far wall upside down before crashing to the floor headfirst and lying there in a heap wasn’t exactly how I envisioned my reunion with Glory. It wasn’t just that she looked like Rainbow Dash; she had every bit the strength and vigor of Rainbow Dash in her youth. Glory herself seemed equally shocked as she hovered there, forehooves pressed to her mouth and rose eyes wide.
我不得不承认，在死去(又一次)之后，我花了一整天的时间才回来，我身体里的电线和管子比任何小马都多，在头朝下摔倒在远处的墙上，倒在地板上，躺在一堆东西里，这可不是我想象中与晨辉重逢的样子。这不仅仅是因为她看起来像彩虹冲击波，她的每一点力量和活力在她的青年彩虹冲击波。当晨辉在那里盘旋时，她自己似乎也同样震惊，前蹄贴在嘴上，睁大了眼睛。
“Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Are you okay?” she asked as she stared across the room at me.
"哦，天哪！哦，天哪！哦，天哪！你还好吗?"她盯着房间另一头的我问道。
“Glory, you called me a cunt and launched me across the room. Now you’re asking if I’m okay?” I groaned as I rolled over and sat up. “Really, what pony would say yes?” I said as I shook the fuzz out of my head. “What’s going on, Glory?”
"晨辉，你骂我是婊子，把我推到房间的另一头。现在你问我是不是没事?"我翻了个身，坐了起来，呻吟着。"说真的，什么样的小马会答应呢?"我一边说，一边摇了摇头。"怎么了，晨辉?"
Apparently something really bad, from how quickly her face darkened. She ripped the rag off her head and threw it at me. “I hated seeing you run away like that, even though I understood that you were doing it for us. I was terrified for you. Do you realize that? I didn’t know if you were alive or dead. I kept waiting for a broadcast or something telling me you were okay... and when I finally got one, what did I hear? Champion in bed... Champion in fucking bed!” she shouted down at me. “I didn’t go through all that just so you could go off and… and… fuck whomever you wanted!”
从她脸色变暗的速度来看，很明显有不好的事情发生了。她把头上的布扯下来朝我扔过来。"我讨厌看到你那样逃跑，尽管我知道你是为了我们。我为你感到害怕。你意识到了吗？我不知道你是死是活。我一直在等待广播或者其他什么，告诉我你没事......当我终于得到了一个，我听到了什么？床上的冠军...床上的冠军!"她对我大喊大叫。"我经历了这一切，不是为了让你离开，然后......然后......和你想要的任何人上床!"
I blinked several times as I looked up at her. “That’s what all this is about? That I had sex with a stallion while I was gone?”
当我抬头看着她时，我眨了几下眼睛。"这就是所有这一切的原因？我不在的时候和一匹种马发生了关系?"
She screwed up her face and snarled in disgust. “Yes!” she shouted, starting to pace back and forth in the air. “I shouldn’t be surprised, I guess. Everypony I care about always leaves me. Mom did it. Dusk almost killed me. You took off twice, once to kill yourself and once to screw that guy!” She grit her teeth and clenched her eyes shut. “I get it. There’s something wrong with me that you don’t want to deal with, but couldn’t you have told me first? Not broadcast to the entire Wasteland ‘I just banged a guy and he was sooooo much better than Glory!’ How could you?”
她皱起眉头，厌恶地咆哮起来。"是的!"她喊道，开始在空中来回踱步。"我想，我不应该感到惊讶。我关心的每一匹小马都会离开我。是妈妈做的。黄昏差点要了我的命。你跑了两次，一次是为了自杀，一次是为了搞那个家伙!"她咬紧牙关，紧闭双眼。"我明白了。我有点不对劲，你不想处理，但你就不能先告诉我吗？不要向整个荒原广播"我刚刚上了一个家伙，他比晨辉好多了!"你怎么能这样?"
I just stared up at her. “The entire Wasteland?”
我只是抬头看着她。"整个荒原?"
“Well, I can’t be sure that they heard it in Las Pegasus, but for the last two days I’ve been enduring the smirk of everypony in Chapel with a radio!” she said as she rolled her eyes. “For all I know, my father heard that broadcast!” She groaned as she covered her face in her hooves. “My life is even more over than it was. I should just turn myself over to the Enclave. ‘Here I am, please try me for treason, again, and then shoot me so I don’t have to listen to all the innuendo and snickers!’” she said in a hysterical, singsong voice.
"嗯，我不能肯定他们是否在拉斯帕加索斯听到了，但是在过去的两天里，我一直在忍受着每个小马在教堂里用收音机发出的傻笑!"她一边说，一边翻了个白眼。"据我所知，我父亲听到了那个广播!"她用蹄子捂住脸，呻吟着。"我的生活比以前更糟糕了。我应该去昂科雷自首。我在这里，请再次以叛国罪起诉我，然后开枪打死我，这样我就不用听那些含沙射影的笑话了！"她用一种歇斯底里的、单调的声音说。
I sighed and pulled myself to my hooves. “Glory… I didn’t do what I did with Stygius for the sex.” Then I gave a small smile as I rolled my eyes a little. “Okay, maybe a little. It was pretty good. But--”
我叹了口气，使劲蹬了蹬腿。"晨辉......我不是为了性才和冥河做那些事的。"然后我转了转眼珠，微微一笑。"好吧，也许有一点。非常不错。但是——"
I think her throw must have given me brain damage... more than just the tumors and like. Five little ponies in my head covered their faces all at once and I heard the Goddess chuckle darkly. Glory’s eyes popped wide as if I’d been the one to throw her.
我觉得她扔的东西肯定对我的大脑造成了损伤......不仅仅是肿瘤之类的。我头上的五匹小马一下子把它们的脸都遮住了，我听到女神暗笑起来。晨辉的眼睛睁得大大的，好像是我把她扔出去的。
“Pretty good? Pretty good! Blackjack, I am going to spay you!” she shrieked, and then she was on me, kicking and stomping me with her hooves. If she’d been the old Glory, this would have been cute. The new Glory had some serious power behind those kicks! She pummeled me good and hard, and I raised my metal legs and tried to protect my head and midriff.
"不错吧？非常好！黑杰克，我要把你阉了!"她尖叫着，然后她就扑向我，用她的蹄子踢我，跺我。如果她是那个古老的晨辉，这会很可爱。新的晨辉有一些严重的权力背后的那些踢！她狠狠地打了我一拳，我抬起我的金属腿，试图保护我的头和腹部。
I remembered how Goldenblood had broken Fluttershy’s heart calling out the wrong name when they’d been together. At the time, I’d thought it’d just been Fluttershy being oversensitive. It never really occurred to me that sex might be a
我记得当他们在一起的时候，金色的血液是如何打碎了Fluttershy的心，让她叫错了名字。那时候，我还以为是小红毛太敏感了。我从来没有真正想到过性可能是一种
serious matter like that. I knew love was serious. Abuse was serious. Rape and coercion for sex were serious. But sex itself was just a means to an orgasm.
这种严肃的事情。我知道爱情是严肃的。虐待是很严重的。强奸和强迫性行为是很严重的。但是性本身只是达到高潮的一种手段。
Glory, it was now becoming very clear, definitely did not have the same opinion. Then again, though, I was her first mare and serious partner. This was the first time anypony had really fucked up a relationship with her and she was pissed. And while old Glory would have probably beaten me up with big words, new Glory was expressing herself far more directly. I tried to get a word out as she sobbed and raged and stomped me with all four hooves at once.
晨辉，现在变得很清楚了，绝对没有相同的意见。不过话又说回来，我是她的第一匹母马，也是她认真的伴侣。这是第一次有小马真正搞砸了和她的关系，她很生气。虽然老晨辉可能会用一些大话来打击我，但是新晨辉更直接地表达了自己。她一边抽泣，一边怒气冲冲地跺着我的四只蹄子，我试图说出一个字来。
Then I heard Scotch Tape yell, “Hey, Blackjack. How many times did you have sex with my mom?” I blinked and looked over at the door where P-21 stood with Scotch Tape beside him. Glory just blinked and stared at the filly, as if processing the question was breaking something in her head.
然后我听到苏格兰磁带大叫,"嘿，黑杰克。你和我妈上过几次床?"我眨了眨眼睛，看着那扇门，P-21站在那里，旁边放着苏格兰胶带。晨辉只是眨了眨眼睛，盯着那匹小母马，好像在思考这个问题在打破她脑子里的什么东西。
“Now is really not the time to be reminiscing about Stable 99, Scotch!” I called out.
"现在真的不是回忆99年马厩的时候，苏格兰人!"我大声喊道。
“Actually, I think it is,” P-21 said as he closed the door behind him. Glory stared at him, her pupils contracting as her rainbow mane seemed to frizz in growing stress. “How many times?” he asked, cool and calm, as Glory hovered above me.
"事实上，我认为是的,"P-21一边关上身后的门一边说。晨辉盯着他看，她的瞳孔收缩得像彩虹一样，浓密的头发在压力增大时似乎有些卷曲。"多少次?"当晨辉在我头顶盘旋时，他冷静地问道。
I looked from one to the other, then spoke slowly and carefully. “A dozen times, give or take, I think. Maybe more. I mean, we were on the same shift and stuff,” I said, feeling as though one wrong word would shatter my relationship with Glory forever.
我从一个看到另一个，然后慢慢地和仔细地说。"差不多有十几次吧，我想。也许更多。我的意思是，我们在同一个班次上,"我说，感觉好像一个错误的词语就会永远破坏我和晨辉的关系。
“I know. I remember peeking in on you two once or twice. Did you love my mom, Blackjack?” Scotch asked; her tone said that she knew my answer.
"我知道。我记得曾经偷看过你们俩一两次。你爱我妈妈吗，Blackjack?"苏格兰人问，她的语气说她知道我的回答。
“No. I mean, she was nice but…” I trailed off, not wanted to offend.
"没有。我的意思是，她人很好，但是......"我说完了，不想冒犯她。
“And did you have sex with Daisy and Marmalade?” P-21 asked, making me feel oddly embarrassed.
"你有没有和黛西还有玛玛拉德发生性关系?"P-21问道，这让我感到莫名其妙的尴尬。
“Yeah. Like I said, we were on the same shift.” I looked at the confused Glory and gave a sheepish little shrug. “Usually with Marm, though. Daisy was always way too rough.” Marm had always been a good lick. If it hadn’t been for Daisy, who knows what could have been?
"是的。就像我说的，我们当时在同一个班。"我看着困惑的晨辉，不好意思地耸了耸肩。"不过，通常是和玛姆。黛西总是太粗暴了。"玛姆一直是个不错的地方。如果没有黛西，谁知道会发生什么？
“In fact, Blackjack, can you count how many ponies you’ve been with in 99?” Scotch Tape asked firmly. Glory backed off and sat down, looking at me as if she’d never seen me before.
"事实上，黑杰克，你能数出99年你和多少匹小马在一起吗?"透明胶带坚定地问道。晨辉退后，坐了下来，看着我，好像她从来没有见过我一样。
I hesitated, counting them up. “Twenty or so. I mean, I wasn’t like Palette,” I said defensively and glanced at Glory. “I mean, she was rutting any second she could!” I’d hoped for a smile, but instead I got a wary look.
我犹豫了一下，数了数。"二十个左右。我的意思是，我不喜欢调色板,"我防御性地说，然后瞥了一眼晨辉。"我的意思是，她随时都可能发情!"我希望能看到一个微笑，但是我却看到了一个机警的表情。
“Not counting males?” P-21 threw in, pushing back his wide-brimmed black hat to look at me skeptically.
"不算男性?"P-21扔进来，推开他的宽边黑帽，怀疑地看着我。
“Oh, right. Probably about twenty or so of them, too,” I said with a growing blush at how the cyan pegasus stared. P-21 himself showed no animosity despite the fact he’d been one of that number at least once, and maybe other times too. I just didn’t keep males straight in 99. One a month for six or seven years… “Yeah. I had three or so myself,” Scotch Tape said firmly. Glory gaped at the filly, her final brain fuse completely blown. I couldn’t see why. When you were a filly, a little nuzzle and lick was inescapable. It was one of the few fun games to play, seeing if you could do it without people catching you. “Did you love any of them?”
"哦，对了。大概也有二十个左右,"我看到青色的飞马盯着我，脸红得越来越厉害。P-21本人并没有表现出敌意，尽管他至少曾经是这个数字中的一员，或许其他时候也是如此。我只是没能让99年的男性保持清醒。一个月一次，持续六七年......"是的。我自己也喝了三瓶左右,"苏格兰胶带坚定地说。晨辉瞪着小母马，她最后的大脑完全熔化了。我不知道为什么。当你还是小母马的时候，爱抚和舔舐是不可避免的。这是为数不多的有趣的游戏之一，看看你是否可以做到这一点没有人抓住你。"你爱他们中的任何一个吗?"
“No. Some of them I didn’t even like all that much,” I said softly as I lowered my eyes. “Not like Mom and Steam. Not like… how I feel for Glory.”
"没有。其中有些我甚至不怎么喜欢,"我低下眼睛轻声说。"不像妈妈和蒸汽。不像......我对荣誉的感觉。"
P-21 took off his hat and, with a freaky bit of earth pony skill, lobbed it so it landed on Scotch Tape’s head. The hat stayed up for just a second, then swallowed the top half of her noggin. He approached Glory and gently touched her shoulder, making the pegasus jump. “This is what we’ve been trying to explain to you, Glory. When we said sex doesn’t matter, we didn’t mean love. Mares in 99 had sex with lots of different mares. Kids did. Adults did. As long as it wasn’t forced, abusive, incestuous, or disruptive, sure. For a lot of mares it was all they had to look forward to. But it wasn’t love. BJ didn’t do what she did with that guy because she loved him and stopped loving you. She did it because she needed to.”
P-21脱下他的帽子，用一种地球上奇异的矮种马技巧，把它高高抛起，使它落在透明胶带的头上。那顶帽子在上面呆了一秒钟，然后就吞下了她那小脑袋的上半部分。他走近晨辉，轻轻地碰了碰她的肩膀，让飞马跳了起来。"这就是我们一直试图向你解释的，晨辉。当我们说性不重要的时候，我们并不是指爱。99头母马与许多不同的母马发生性关系。孩子们就是这样。成年人就是这样。当然，只要不是强迫的、虐待的、乱伦的或破坏性的。对于许多母马来说，这就是它们所期待的一切。但那不是爱。Bj没有做她和那个男人做的事，因为她爱他，不再爱你。她这么做是因为她需要这么做。"
Glory looked at him, then at me lying there, my new legs already dinged up from her blows. “I… I don’t… I can’t… oh!” She snapped her wings, flying up to the stairs and into her bedroom.
格洛里看着他，然后看着躺在那里的我，我的新腿已经被她的拳头打得凹凸不平了。"我.....。.我不...我不能...哦!"她拍了拍翅膀，飞上楼梯，进了卧室。
“That… she was upset about that?” I muttered, trying to wrap my head around it. It was crazy to be upset about sex. That was like… like being upset because somepony stole your carrot chips in the cafeteria.
"那个......她对此很不高兴?"我喃喃自语着，试图让自己的脑子理清头绪。对性生活感到沮丧简直是疯了。那就像...就像因为某个小马在自助餐厅偷了你的胡萝卜片而心烦意乱。
“It was hard for us to get, too,” P-21 said sympathetically. “We tried to explain it, but she was so wound up she just wouldn’t listen. And there were plenty of other things. The stress of knowing you were in danger but she was stuck here caring for us. The frustration of not being with you. I think these last four days were hardest on her.”
"我们也很难得到,"P-21同情地说。"我们试图解释，但她太激动了，就是不听。还有很多其他的东西。知道你身处险境的压力，但她却被困在这里照顾我们。没有和你在一起的沮丧。我想过去的四天对她来说是最难熬的。"
“You were screaming, puking, and pooping yourself for two whole days, Daddy,” Scotch Tape said as she pulled the hat off her head and held it in her hooves.
"爸爸，你整整两天都在尖叫、呕吐和大便,"苏格兰磁带一边说，一边把帽子从头上扯下来，用蹄子顶着。
“Yeah, but that was just physical,” he said dismissively. “Glory’s trials have been of the heart, and that’s always harder. The body can endure anything if the heart is at peace.” He caught Scotch Tape’s uneasy furrowing of her brows. “What?”
"是的，但那只是身体上的,"他轻蔑地说。"晨辉的考验是发自内心的，而这总是更加艰难。只要内心平静，身体什么都能承受。"他看到苏格兰磁带不安地皱着眉头。"什么?"
“I know you’re trying hard to do the father thing, Dad, but could you be a little less... erm... pithy?” Scotch asked with a crooked little smile. “You don’t have to sound all wise all the time.” She set the wide brimmed black hat back on his head, and he returned her smile.
"爸爸，我知道你在努力做一个好父亲，但是你能不能稍微...呃...简练一点?"苏格兰人带着一丝狡黠的微笑问道。"你不必总是听起来那么聪明。"她把宽边黑帽子重新戴在他的头上，他也报以微笑。
“Right. Sorry. New to this,” he said awkwardly before looking at me and continuing, “She’s also afraid of turning into Rainbow Dash.”
"对。对不起。"还是新手,"他尴尬地说，然后看着我，继续说道,"她也害怕变成彩虹冲刺。"
I’d forgotten about that. “Is she? Turning into Rainbow Dash, I mean,” I asked in worry.
我都忘了。""是吗？我的意思是，变成了彩虹冲刺,"我担心地问道。
He shook his head. “Lacunae doesn’t think so. It’s more likely it’s all in her head... but that makes it worse. Lacunae checked her memory and didn’t find any magical thoughts stuffed in there. Just her own fear.”
他摇了摇头。"空白处不这么认为。更有可能的是这一切都是她的幻觉......但这只会让事情变得更糟。空隙检查了她的记忆，没有发现里面有任何神奇的想法。只有她自己的恐惧。"
I dragged myself to my hooves and started up the stairs. “I need to talk to her. I have to make it right with her. Nothing else matters till things are right with her again.”
我挣扎着走上楼梯。"我需要和她谈谈。我必须和她和好。除非她恢复正常，否则一切都不重要。"
P-21 looked on in worry. “It may not be possible to make things right, Blackjack. She may never be with you again, like that.”
P-21忧心忡忡地看着。"也许我们不可能把事情做对，Blackjack。她可能再也不会和你在一起了，就像那样。"
I snorted, more in disgust with myself than him. “I don’t care about that! I care that she’s hurt and upset,” I said back down the stairs at the pair. “I am not going to let her and I end like Fluttershy and Goldenblood.” If I couldn’t be trusted with her heart, then at least I’d try to be worthy of her friendship.
我哼了一声，比起他，我更厌恶自己。"我不在乎那个！我关心她是否受伤和心烦意乱,"我回到楼下对他们说。"我不会让她和我的结局像Fluttershy和Goldenblood一样。"如果我不能用她的心信任我，那么至少我会试着配得上她的友谊。
Somehow.
不知怎么的。
* * *
* * *
I reached her bedroom; she’d left the door open a crack, and I could hear her sobbing within. I pushed the door open and saw her sitting on the bed, facing away from the door with her head bowed. Slowly I walked around the bed, trying to think of what to say at a time like this. I sat beside her, but she turned away from me.
我来到她的卧室，她把门打开了一条缝，我能听到她在里面哭泣。我推开门，看见她坐在床上，低着头背对着门。我慢慢地绕着床走，试着想在这种时候该说些什么。我坐在她旁边，但她转身离开了我。
This was stupid. We just sat there together, staring at our hooves. One of us had to say something, but words just weren’t coming out right. As in, not at all. I kept running ideas through my head: apologize, say I was sorry, kiss her, or leave her alone? None seemed particularly adequate, appropriate, or helpful. Glory couldn’t even bring herself to look at me, let alone talk.
这太愚蠢了。我们只是坐在一起，盯着我们的蹄子。我们中的一个人必须说点什么，但话就是说不出口。完全不是。我脑子里一直在想:道歉，说对不起，吻她，还是让她一个人呆着？没有一个看起来特别适当、合适或有帮助。晨辉甚至都不敢看我一眼，更不用说说话了。
I felt a hole opening up deeper and deeper inside me. I was going to lose her, and all because I didn’t even know how to talk anymore. But what could I possibly say to her? What could anypony say? Glory clenched her eyes shut, slow tears leaking as she remained turned away from me. Slowly, with a numb sensation throughout my entire body, I made my way back out of the room. I couldn’t stay with her, couldn’t bear to go back downstairs, either. Instead, I returned to my room, not bothering to close either door. Sitting on the bed, I damned myself again.
我感觉自己身体里有一个越来越深的洞。我就要失去她了，这一切都是因为我不知道该怎么说话了。但是我能对她说什么呢？任何小马能说什么呢？格洛里紧闭着眼睛，慢慢地流着眼泪，一直转身离开我。慢慢地，伴随着遍及全身的麻木感，我走出了房间。我不能和她呆在一起，也不能忍受回到楼下去。相反，我回到自己的房间，懒得关上任何一扇门。坐在床上，我又诅咒自己了。
Then my eyes fell on the contrabass in the corner. I stared for the longest time at the dark, polished wood. Then I rose to my hooves and staggered over. The finish was smooth and warm beneath my touch as I ran my finger along its -- along her neck. “Hey, Octavia,” I murmured as I shifted the instrument and stood behind it. “Can you help me out here? I kinda messed up big time. Please? I hurt the pony I love.” I plucked one string with a finger, drawing out a sour note from the instrument and a little laugh from me. “Yeah, I know, right? That’s stupid, even for me, and I’m the high princess of stupid.”
然后我的眼睛落在角落里的低音提琴上。我盯着漆黑光亮的木头看了很长时间。然后我站了起来，摇摇晃晃地走过去。当我用手指沿着她的脖子，抚摸着她的皮肤，她的皮肤光滑而温暖。"嘿，奥克塔维亚,"我一边低声说，一边移动乐器，站在它后面。"你能帮帮我吗？我把事情搞砸了。求你了？我伤害了我爱的小马。"我用手指拨动了一根琴弦，从琴上拉出了一个酸涩的音符，我笑了。"是的，我知道，对吧？即使对我来说，这也是愚蠢的，我是愚蠢的高贵公主。"
Slowly, I started to play. Would she hear? Would she listen? Would she care? I
慢慢地，我开始弹奏。她会听到吗？她会听吗？她会在乎吗？一
tried not to think of anything. I simply let the music play however it came out.
尽量不去想任何事。我只是简单地让音乐播放，不管它是怎么出来的。
No, not music; just notes.
不，不是音乐，只是音符。
I wasn’t exactly sure how long I played, but when I dared to open my eyes, I saw Glory no more than three feet from me. She stared at the blue starry comforter on the bed, then glanced back at me, then quickly looked away once more. Her rainbow mane fell across her eyes, her expression reminding me of that mare I’d found hiding in that tiny space back in the weather station. No matter how her body changed, she’d always be Glory.
我不确定自己玩了多久，但当我敢于睁开眼睛时，我看到了晨辉，离我不到三英尺。她盯着床上那条蓝色星星点点的被子，然后回头看了我一眼，很快又把目光移开了。她那彩虹般的鬃毛遮住了眼睛，她的表情让我想起了我在气象站那个狭小的空间里发现的那匹母马。不管她的身体如何变化，她永远都是晨辉。
I ran the bow against the strings. I knew it would sound beautiful, because it came from the pony who’d had part of her soul locked within. “Please help me apologize, Octavia. Help me show her how much I love her.” I slowly drew the bow, and a low, soft note rose from them. I closed my eyes and gave up control of my hoof to the instrument. It was astonishing how good it felt to simply give in and yield to another that I trusted, to simply stop struggling and be at peace.
我在琴弦上拉弓。我知道这听起来很美，因为它来自于那匹小马，它的一部分灵魂已经被锁在里面了。"请帮我道歉，奥克塔维娅。帮我让她知道我有多爱她。"我慢慢地拉了拉琴弓，一个低沉柔和的音符从他们身上升起。我闭上眼睛，放弃了控制我的蹄子的乐器。向我信任的另一个人屈服，停止挣扎，平静地生活，这种感觉是多么令人吃惊。
The notes rose and fell, searching for a melody and not finding it. They rolled out high and fast and then dropped low to slow, full notes as the bow sawed back and forth. They skipped and jangled in frustration. One thing was for sure: no matter what happened between Glory and me, Octavia wouldn’t be left in the corner of my bedroom. She deserved to be around other ponies and inspire them to learn how to play. I’d give her to the Crusaders so she’d never be lonely again.
音符上下起伏，寻找着旋律却找不到。当弓来回锯切的时候，它们高高地、快速地滚动，然后又低低地、慢慢地、满满地滚动。他们沮丧地蹦蹦跳跳，发出刺耳的声音。有一件事是肯定的:不管我和晨辉之间发生了什么，奥克塔维亚不会被留在我卧室的角落里。她值得和其他小马在一起，激励它们学习如何玩耍。我会把她交给十字军，这样她就再也不会孤单了。
Finally, I looked up and saw Glory looking back at me as the sad music played. The eyes might have been different, but the feelings were the same. Her love might have been bound tightly, but it hadn’t suffocated yet. I set the bow aside and patted the wood paneling, then sat before Glory. The cyan pegasus rubbed my mane and asked in a tiny voice, “Do you hate me for bringing you back? Is that… why…”
最后，我抬起头，看到晨辉回头看着我，悲伤的音乐响起。眼睛可能不一样，但感觉是一样的。她的爱情也许已经紧紧地捆绑在一起，但还没有窒息。我把弓放到一边，拍了拍木镶板，然后坐在晨辉面前。青色的飞马抚摸着我的鬃毛，小声地问道:"你恨我把你带回来吗?"？这就是为什么......"
“No. I don’t,” I said. I shook my head. “I did, for a while. A little stupid selfish part of me did, but that wasn’t why I was with Stygius,” I said. “Actually it’s not so little. I didn’t want to face it. What I am. When I died, I really thought that that was it, and it wasn’t such a bad way to go. Then… then I was back. And… different.” I looked out the window with a sigh. “I didn’t take the time I needed. I should have waited a week, a month, even… learning about being a cyberpony and making sure I was really over it. I was trying to run myself right into the ground. First with LittlePip… then with Sanguine… and then all on my own.” I
"没有。我不知道,"我说。我摇了摇头。"有一段时间是这样的。我有一点愚蠢自私，但那不是我和冥河在一起的原因,"我说。"实际上，它并不是那么小。我不想面对。我是什么。当我死的时候，我真的认为就是这样了，这也不是一个很糟糕的死法。然后...然后我回来了。而且......与众不同。"我叹了口气向窗外望去。"我没有花足够的时间。我应该等上一个星期，甚至一个月，甚至...学习如何成为一匹赛博马，并确保自己真正摆脱它。我试图让自己一头栽进地里。首先是小匹普，然后是血红，然后是我自己。"一
closed my eyes and placed my hooves in hers. “I promised you I’d never, ever, try to kill myself again. I meant to keep that promise. I did. But I’m afraid some part of me was trying to do just that. I was doing everything I could to tear myself apart.”
闭上我的眼睛，把我的蹄子放进她的。"我向你保证过，我再也不会自杀了。我本来打算遵守诺言的。是的。但恐怕我内心的某个部分正试图做到这一点。我竭尽全力想把自己撕成碎片。"
That was the easy part. My eyes met hers. “I did... bad things, too, while I was gone. I came across a squad of Enclave that tried to fight me, and I just tore them to pieces.” I opened my mouth and closed it again, clenching my eyes closed a moment. I had to tell her, but somehow the words got all tangled in my throat. Finally, I managed to get them out. “I… think I hurt your sister pretty bad too.”
这是最简单的部分。我和她的目光相遇。"在我不在的时候，我也做了......坏事。我遇到一队昂科雷(Enclave)，他们试图反抗我，我把他们撕成了碎片。"我张开嘴，又闭上，紧闭双眼片刻。我不得不告诉她，但是不知怎么的，这些话缠绕在我的喉咙里。最后，我终于把他们弄出来了。"我.....。.我想我也把你妹妹伤得很重。"
“What? What do you mean…” Glory said in a tiny, horrified little voice.
"什么？"你是什么意思......"格洛里用一种微弱的、吓坏了的声音说。
I sniffed and shook my head. “They attacked me… and I fought back… but I was completely out of control. You were right… not wanting me left alone.” I grimaced, feeling a stabbing pain where my heart used to be. “I hurt her. I would have killed her if… if I hadn’t run out of power.” I shivered as I felt tears run down my cheek. “And if Lightning Dancer was there… I probably killed her, too.”
我闻了闻，摇了摇头。"他们攻击我......我反击了......但我完全失控了。你是对的......不想让我一个人呆着。"我做了个鬼脸，心里感到一阵刺痛。"我伤害了她。我会杀了她如果...如果我没有耗尽能量的话。"我感到眼泪顺着我的脸颊流了下来，不禁打了个哆嗦。"如果闪电舞者在那里......我可能也杀了她。"
The haunted look on Glory’s face had her staring past me a moment. She focused once more, but her voice still trembled. “But Dusk is okay? You didn’t kill her, right?”
格洛里脸上那种不安的表情使她目不转睛地盯着我看了一会儿。她再次集中精神，但她的声音仍然在颤抖。"但是《黄昏》可以吗？你没有杀她，对吗?"
“She was alive when I left her. I told the other Enclave survivors I was with to take her to the Skyport and I seriously doubt they’d disobey my order then. But honestly... I don’t know if she’s okay.” Glory started to tremble as she curled up and hugged herself. I couldn’t blame her; like this, she couldn’t even go to the Skyport and find out. I tried to touch her, but she smacked my hoof away and curled up even tighter. I just sat there, staring at my stupid metal fingers. I could still see them clutching Dusk’s head and slowly crushing and twisting.
"我离开她的时候她还活着。我告诉其他飞地的幸存者我要带她去飞机场，我严重怀疑他们会违抗我的命令。但说实话，我不知道她是否还好。"晨辉开始颤抖，因为她蜷缩起来，拥抱自己。我不能责怪她，就像这样，她甚至不能去空中港口找到答案。我试图触摸她，但她拍了拍我的蹄子，卷得更紧了。我只是坐在那里，盯着我那愚蠢的金属手指。我仍然可以看到他们抓住薄暮的头，慢慢地挤压和扭曲。
She’d leave now. Hurting her was bad enough, inexcusable enough. But her family, too? I bowed my head, waiting for her to leave. “You were right. I should have stayed with you. Without you… without my friends…” The lame words fell from my lips before I ended with a whisper like a prayer, “I’m so sorry.” I heard her start to move and clenched my eyes shut, not bearing to see her go.
她现在就要走了。伤害她已经够糟糕了，不可原谅。那她的家人呢？我低下头，等着她离开。"你是对的。我应该和你在一起的。没有你......没有我的朋友......"那些蹩脚的话语从我的唇边滑落，最后我像祈祷者一样低语道:"我很抱歉。"我听到她开始移动，紧闭着我的眼睛，不忍心看着她离开。
But she didn’t. And when I chanced a glance, she wore a pained expression as she looked at the floor. “Something else happened, didn’t it?”
但她没有。我偶然瞥了她一眼，她看着地板，脸上露出痛苦的表情。"还发生了别的事，不是吗?"
“How... how’d you know?”
"你...你怎么知道的?"
A tiny, mirthless smile appeared on her lips. “I didn’t. But I’ve learned by now that, no matter how bad I think things might be, I ought to double it when you’re involved.” She took a slow breath, as if bracing herself. “What else happened?” she asked as she put her hoof on mine.
她的嘴角浮现出一丝微笑。"我没有。但我现在已经明白，不管我认为情况有多糟糕，只要你参与进来，我就应该加倍努力。"她缓缓地吸了一口气，好像在支撑着自己。"还发生了什么?"她一边问，一边把蹄子踩在我的脚上。
She didn’t forgive me. Didn’t excuse me. But she didn’t leave, either. I took several ragged breaths, fighting off the urge to sob as I stared at her hooves, feeling her tremble. “I… I wish it ended there. I was attacked again...
她没有原谅我。不好意思。但她也没有离开。当我盯着她的蹄子，感觉到她在颤抖时，我用力地喘了几口气，试图抑制自己抽泣的冲动。"我.....。.我希望一切就此结束。我又被袭击了。
Harbingers… And then I came across some scavengers. I thought they were with the Harbingers. I killed two… crippled a filly... Thought I killed her, actually. Almost did.”
先驱者...然后我遇到了一些拾荒者。我以为他们和先驱者在一起。我杀了两个......弄残了一匹小母马......事实上，我以为我杀了她。差点就成功了。"
Glory didn’t say anything. Her eyes were closed as she wept. But she kept her hoof on mine. As long as she was still here, there was hope. Please, let there be hope…
晨辉什么都没说。她哭泣时闭上了眼睛。但是她把她的蹄子踩在我的脚上。只要她还在这里，就有希望。求求你，让我们有希望..。
I moved along while I still could. “I lost it completely, then. I mean… I was totally gone. I would have been dead except that I found a place that helped put me back together again. That got me to finally stop running from my problems and face them. To try and deal with my guilt and my shame.”
我趁着还能走的时候继续前进。"那么，我完全失去了理智。我是说...我完全不在状态。要不是我找到了一个能让我重新振作起来的地方，我早就死了。这让我终于不再逃避问题，而是直面问题。试着处理我的内疚和羞愧。"
“Did it work?” she finally asked in a tiny, squeaky voice. “Are you... better?”
"成功了吗?"她终于用细小的声音问道。"你...好点了吗?"
“Kinda, actually. A little. It was a step towards better,” I said with a mirthless smile. “It felt like months the machines kept me locked in my own head. Got me to finally admit… admit that I’m not okay, Glory. I mean, I know I say I’m not all the time, but I’m really not. Being what I am was harder than just carrying EC-1101 around. Harder than dying of taint. I was okay with dying. It was a cowardly way out. But coming back as this machine…” I shook my head, sniffing as I stared at my metal hooves.
"算是吧，实际上。一点点。这是迈向更好的一步,"我苦笑着说。"感觉就像机器把我锁在自己的脑袋里好几个月。让我终于承认...承认我不好，晨辉。我的意思是，我知道我说我不是所有的时间，但我真的不是。成为我这样的人比仅仅随身携带EC-1101要难得多。比死于污染还难。我可以接受死亡。这是一种懦弱的逃避方式。但是回到这台机器上......"我摇了摇头，盯着我的金属蹄子嗅了嗅。
“And here I thought the sex part was the worst. Why… how…?” she murmured with a blush.
"在这里，我认为性是最糟糕的部分。为什么......怎么......?"她红着脸喃喃地说。
I sighed and wiped my tears away. “Stygius… he was just trying to mount me. He was a good pony, though. And I needed Stygius to try and deal with what happened on the Seahorse. To be able to… to be a mare… a pony… a person. It was just sex. Good sex, but sex. I didn’t love him, and he didn’t love me. It was
我叹了口气，擦干眼泪。"斯提吉乌斯......他只是想骑在我身上。不过他是匹好马。我需要斯提吉乌斯来处理在海马号上发生的事情。能够成为一匹母马...一匹小马...一个人。只是性而已。美好的性爱，但是性爱。我不爱他，他也不爱我。是的
a way to prove to myself that I could control myself enough to be able to get better.” I swallowed and said with every bit of sincerity I could muster, “It never really occurred to me that you’d be upset. Rampage tried to warn me, but I just didn’t listen.”
这是一种向自己证明，我可以控制自己，让自己变得更好的方式。"我咽了一口唾沫，满怀诚意地说:"我从来没想过你会不高兴。狂暴试图警告我，但我就是不听。"
“Did he… come here with you?” Glory asked in dread before giving a snotty little sniff.
"他......和你一起来的吗?"格洛里害怕地问道，然后轻轻地嗅了一下鼻子。
“No. He had to go home. With Whisper… er… Psychoshy,” I said, and Glory blinked at me in confusion. I filled her on what I had learned about Psychoshy, Glory’s eyes widening in surprise as I elaborated on the other pegasus’s lineage. It turned out that I didn’t have quite as much elaboration to do as I thought, as Glory had already picked up most of it from somewhere (Rampage?), but talking about it served as a nice digression from our own problems.
"没有。他不得不回家。我说，晨辉困惑地眨着眼睛看着我。我告诉她我对心理害羞的了解，当我详述另一匹飞马的血统时，晨辉惊讶地睁大了眼睛。事实证明，我并没有像我想象的那样有那么多的阐述要做，因为晨辉已经从某个地方获得了它的大部分(狂暴?)但是谈论这件事可以让我们从我们自己的问题中抽离出来。
“But... Whisper?” she asked skeptically when I finished.
"但是......低语?"当我说完时，她怀疑地问道。
“Really. Whisper is what Fluttershy and Goldenblood wanted to name Psycho. I saw it in a recording.” I gave a little nod, glad that my digression had moved us to safer ground.
"真的。低语是Fluttershy和Goldenblood想给Psycho起的名字。我在录音里看到的。"我微微点了点头，很高兴我的离题话题把我们带到了更安全的地方。
Glory finally grinned a little. “Oh Celestia… that’s a horrible name for her,” she said with a sniff. “Is she happy, though?” Was that a little wistful envy I heard in her voice?
晨辉终于露出了一点笑容。"哦，塞莱斯蒂亚......这对她来说是个可怕的名字,"她闻了闻说。"那么，她快乐吗?"我在她的声音里听到的是一点点渴望的嫉妒吗？
“She’s taking a risk. A big one. But I think so. It’s a chance for her.” I looked up at her and brushed her rainbow mane back.
"她在冒险。一个大的。但我认为是的。这对她来说是个机会。"我抬头看着她，把她那彩虹般的鬃毛梳回去。
“Well… good for her…” she muttered.
"嗯......对她来说很好......"她喃喃自语道。
I sighed, slumping. Enough about the epic failures of Blackjack. “How have your last three days been?” I asked, hoping this would be a safe change in direction. Instead, her lips curled into a frown and she looked away.
我叹了口气，垂头丧气。黑杰克史诗般的失败已经够多了。"你最近三天过得怎么样?"我问道，希望这会是一个安全的方向转变。相反，她的嘴唇皱成一团，转过脸去。
“I’m… I don’t know…” she said as she looked at her hooves. “Helping P-21 and Scotch was… good for me. I didn’t have to think about things at first. But by yesterday…” She grit her teeth and shook her head. “I don’t want to whine about it.”
"我......我不知道......"她看着自己的蹄子说。"帮助P-21和苏格兰威士忌......对我有好处。一开始我不需要考虑这些事情。但是到了昨天......"她咬紧牙关，摇了摇头。"我不想发牢骚。"
“Hey, I can’t be the only pony in the Wasteland who gets to complain,” I said,
"嘿，我不能成为荒原上唯一一个抱怨的小马,"我说,
giving her a little nudge. “P-21 said you think you’re turning into Rainbow Dash?”
轻轻推了她一下。"P-21说你觉得自己会变成彩虹冲刺?"
Her face twisted in a scowl and she said in a tone of disgust, “It’s this… this body. If that damned blue weed had turned me into anypony else, I’d be fine. Annoyed, but fine. But there are pictures of Rainbow Dash in every single history textbook teaching us about how she abandoned us and her many crimes against the pegasus race. I didn’t come to the surface as a Dashite. I came as a member of the Volunteer Corps. I wanted to help, but as Enclave. Not run out on my people like she did.”
她皱着眉头，用一种厌恶的语气说:"是这个......这个身体。如果那该死的蓝色大麻把我变成了其他的小马，我就没事了。有点烦，不过没关系。但是每一本历史教科书里都有彩虹·达什的照片，告诉我们她是如何抛弃了我们，以及她对飞马族犯下的种种罪行。我不是作为一个达什特人出现在地面上的。我是作为志愿兵团的一员来的。我想帮忙，但是作为昂科雷。而不是像她那样抛弃我的人民。"
She slipped off the bed and began to turn, looking at herself. “But this body is… ugh! I was never an athlete! That was Dusk’s thing. She was the one who wanted to pull off a rainboom. I wanted to be a doctor. I studied. The only thing that kept me from getting all fat was that I’d skip meals when hitting the books. But this body!” She grimaced in disgust. “I wake up and I need to… to do a hundred wing pushups! I could only do one before. I want to go for a thirty mile flight! I sit here and feel… twitchy. I planned on shoving you, not throwing you clear across the room.” She rubbed her face and shook her head. “Everything about this body says it’s not me.”
她从床上滑下来，开始转身，看着自己。"但是这个身体......啊！我从来就不是运动员！那是黄昏乐队的风格。她才是那个想下雨的人。我想成为一名医生。我学习。唯一让我不发胖的原因是我在看书的时候不吃饭。但是这个身体!"她厌恶地做了个鬼脸。"我醒来后，我需要......做一百个俯卧撑！我以前只能做一个。我想要三十英里的飞行！我坐在这里感到...焦虑不安。我本来是要推你的，不是要把你推到房间的另一头。"她揉揉脸，摇摇头。"这个身体的一切都说明这不是我。"
“I can relate,” I said as popped out my fingers and wiggled them at her.
"我能理解,"我一边说，一边伸出手指对着她扭动。
She gave a ghost of a smile. “Yeah. I guess I know better how you feel.” She rubbed her face with a wing. “I also… I dunno… I sometimes feel like I’m losing myself. Like I really am turning into Rainbow Dash. Lacunae says it’s all in my head, but the Joke changed my body. What if it changed my brain, too?” She shook her head hard and sighed. “It’d be different if I could blame someone for making me this way, but it was a stupid magic plant!” She went silent and her gaze dropped back to the floor. “Do... do you...”
她鬼使神差地笑了笑。"是的。我想我更了解你的感受。"她用翅膀擦脸。"我也......我不知道......有时候我觉得我迷失了自我。就像我真的变成了彩虹冲刺。空隙说这些都是我脑子里的想法，但笑话改变了我的身体。如果它也改变了我的大脑呢?"她使劲摇了摇头，叹了口气。"如果我能责怪别人让我变成这样，那就不一样了，但那只是一株愚蠢的魔法植物!"她沉默下来，目光落回到地板上。"你...你..."
“I wish I’d known you were doing it, but if I had I would have told you not to and you would have done it anyway. ‘Cause you’d never let me die if you could prevent it, just like I wouldn’t let you die if there was a way for me to save you.” I shook my head. “It took a pre-war brain therapy thingy to finally get me to admit how messed up I was. And how much more help and headshrinking I need.”
"我希望我知道你在做这件事，但是如果我知道的话，我会告诉你不要这样做，而且你无论如何也会这样做。'因为如果你能阻止它，你就不会让我死，就像如果我有办法救你，我也不会让你死一样。"我摇了摇头。"战前的大脑治疗让我终于承认自己有多糟糕。我还需要多少帮助和帮助。"
“So sex with him was some sort of therapy?” she asked with an arch of her brow.
"所以和他做爱是某种治疗吗?"她扬起眉毛问道。
“That’s not how sex therapy is supposed to work, Blackjack.”
"性治疗不应该是这样的，Blackjack。"
I sighed and rolled my eyes a little. “For the Wasteland, it worked okay. I stopped wanting to kill males for looking at my hind end. I think I can handle that now.” I just wish I’d understood what that would mean for Glory.
我叹了口气，转了转眼珠。"对于荒原来说，这样做还不错。我不再因为看我的屁股而想杀雄性。我想我现在可以应付了。"我只是希望我能理解这对荣誉意味着什么。
“I guess so. A pony could do some great business being a psychologist in the Wasteland.” She rubbed her puffy eyes. “So... what happened next? After him?”
"我想是的。一匹小马可以做一些伟大的生意，在荒原上成为一名心理学家。"她揉揉肿胀的眼睛。"那么......接下来发生了什么？在他之后?"
“Then we got to Hightower, and…” I shook my head. “It was rough. Three ponies died.” Myself included, I didn’t add, and I’d thump Rampage and Lacunae if they said otherwise. “We leveled the building.” Then I smiled, “But we also helped a pony who needed it. We stopped a scumbag ghoul from betraying the rest of his town. We managed to do what needed to be done. I still feel guilty, though. I feel like everything I’ve done since I got back was wrong.”
"然后我们到了海托华，然后......"我摇了摇头。"那是一段艰难的日子。三匹小马死了。"包括我自己在内，我没有添加，如果他们不这么认为，我会猛击狂暴和空白。"我们把大楼夷为平地。"然后我笑了,"但是我们也帮助了一匹需要它的小马。我们阻止了一个卑鄙的食尸鬼背叛镇上的其他人。我们设法做了需要做的事情。尽管如此，我仍然感到内疚。我觉得我回来后所做的一切都是错的。"
“And I still feel mad at you for leaving. I know I said I was okay with it… but really, ten minutes after you left, I wanted to chase after you. But I couldn’t leave P-21 and Scotch Tape… so I settled with being angry you left and worried that you weren’t coming back. Then that broadcast… oh that stupid broadcast.” She groaned and rubbed her face. “Then I couldn’t shake the feeling that you had left us… that you left me. And it was Mom going all over again… only worse.”
"我还在为你的离开而生气。我知道我说过我不介意......但实际上，在你离开十分钟后，我想去追你。但是我不能离开P-21和透明胶带......所以我解决了你离开和担心你不会回来的愤怒。然后那个广播......哦，那个愚蠢的广播。"她呻吟着，揉着脸。"然后我无法摆脱你离开我们的感觉......你离开了我。妈妈又一次重蹈覆辙......只是更糟糕。"
Now I sighed and stretched out towards her, giving her cheek the tiniest nuzzle. “I still love you. Even if I am a lousy pony.”
现在我叹了口气，向她伸了伸手，用鼻子轻轻地蹭了蹭她的脸颊。"我仍然爱你。即使我是一匹糟糕的小马。"
“No, you’re not.” She sighed and gave a grumpy little huff. “Well, okay. Maybe a little. And I’m still mad at you.” Shaking her head, she glared at me. “I mean...
"不，你不是。"她叹了口气，生了一个小气。"好吧，好吧。也许有一点。我还在生你的气。"她摇摇头，怒视着我。"我是说.....。
Blackjack... part of me wants to hug you, part wants to kill you, and part wants to run for the hills and never look back. You hurt my sister!”
黑杰克......一部分的我想拥抱你，一部分想杀了你，还有一部分想逃之夭夭，永不回头。你伤害了我的妹妹!"
“To be fair, she and the rest of her team were trying to kill me,” I said quickly, “and I didn’t know it was her at the time.” She still frowned, troubled. “I won’t blame you if you do any of those. Even if I prefer the first option.”
"说句公道话，她和她的团队其他人都想杀了我,"我急忙说,"当时我并不知道是她。"她依旧皱着眉头，心神不宁。"如果你做了这些事情，我不会责怪你的。即使我更喜欢第一种选择。"
“Oh no. No sweet talking, Blackjack. You are still in big trouble. I’m still really angry at you,” she huffed. Still, I smiled at her; Glory -- who’d had her cutie mark burned off both her flanks and barely said three cross words -- was angry.
"哦，不。不许甜言蜜语Blackjack。你还是有大麻烦。我还是很生你的气,"她生气地说。尽管如此，我还是对她笑了笑;晨辉----她的可爱标记烧掉了她的两侧腹部，几乎没有说过三个生气的字----很生气。
“Well, you could always just spank me till you feel better and I wise up,” I said
"好吧，你可以一直打我，直到你感觉好些了，我才醒悟过来,"我说
in a casual, joking tone. Oddly, it made her ears stand straight up and her eyes widen. Then she started to blush… hard. “What?”
用一种随意的，开玩笑的语气。奇怪的是，这让她的耳朵竖起来，眼睛睁得大大的。然后她开始脸红...很难看。"什么?"
“Nothing!” she said quickly, but she sure wasn’t acting like it was nothing. She met my eyes and went even redder. She pressed her hooves to her mouth, as if physically silencing herself. I just looked at her with a cocked brow. She pulled away, walking to one of the windows. “Look… can we just drop it for now? I need to think and… try to decide what I’m going to do.” She sighed and looked back at me. “So… what else happened?”
"没什么!"她说得很快，但她肯定不是装作什么都没发生。她遇见了我的眼睛，变得更红了。她把蹄子贴在嘴上，仿佛要让自己安静下来。我只是扬起眉毛看着她。她把车开走，走向一扇窗户。"听着......我们能暂时不谈这个吗？我需要思考，试着决定我要做什么。"她叹了口气，回头看了看我。"那么......还发生了什么?"
I told her everything, with the exceptions of me dying again and trying to pull myself together yesterday and the Goddess in my brain. From what I learned about Goldenblood to Psalm being in my dreams to Hightower and EC-1101 to Project Eternity to getting fixed up. She listened, a little distracted, but I couldn’t blame her for that. She gasped at my description of the Warden, laughed a little when I told her about Xanthe, and commiserated when I told her about Graves’s and Snips’s deaths.
我把一切都告诉了她，除了我昨天又死了，试图让自己振作起来，让女神进入我的大脑。从我对Goldenblood的了解，到我梦到的诗篇，到海托华和EC-1101，再到永恒之柱，再到修理。她听着，有点心烦意乱，但我不能因此责怪她。我描述那个典狱长时，她倒吸了一口气，当我告诉她桑丝的事时，她笑了笑，当我告诉她格雷夫斯和小鬼头的死时，她表示同情。
When I finished, she looked at me, her expression equally worried and curious. “What are you going to do next? I mean, Shadowbolt Tower… I can’t think of any way to get there. It’s all controlled by the Enclave Military. Or are you going to go after the bomb? Go to that hellhound base? Deal with the Harbingers?”
当我说完的时候，她看着我，她的表情既忧虑又好奇。"你接下来要做什么？我的意思是，暗影螺栓塔...我想不出任何方法去那里。它完全由飞地军方控制。还是你要去找炸弹？去那个地狱犬基地？与先驱者打交道?"
I thought a moment, then rose and flopped back on the bed. “Nothing.”
我想了一会儿，然后站起来，重重地躺在床上。"没什么。"
“Nothing?” She blinked in confusion. “What do you mean, ‘nothing’?”
"没什么?"她困惑地眨了眨眼。"什么叫'什么都没有'?"
“I mean that some ponies died and I nearly got a whole lot more ponies killed by chasing after EC-1101. I don’t care where it wants me to go next; it’s not worth more deaths. So for the immediate future, I am going to do… nothing.” I folded my forelegs behind my head… hmm, metal limbs really didn’t make the most comfortable pillows. “I am going to stay here till we work things out. Till P-21 and Scotch Tape are better. Till Rampage can get the help she needs.” And then I frowned at the ceiling. “And if the Harbingers show up, I am going to show them exactly what I did at Yellow River.” Okay. If dozens of them showed up, I’d have to do something else, but for right now… no. I was going to stay right here and make sure my friends were taken care of.
"我的意思是，一些小马死了，我追赶EC-1101几乎导致更多的小马死亡。我不在乎它想让我去哪里;它不值得更多的死亡。因此，在不久的将来，我将什么也不做。"我把前腿折叠起来放在头后面......嗯，金属假肢真的不是最舒服的枕头。"我要留在这里，直到我们把事情解决。直到P-21和透明胶带更好。直到狂暴得到她需要的帮助。"然后我对着天花板皱起了眉头。"如果先驱者出现了，我会让他们看看我在黄河上的所作所为。"好吧。如果有几十个人出现，我就得做点别的事情，但是现在......不行。我要留在这里，确保我的朋友们得到照顾。
For a change, it wasn’t going to be about me.
改变一下，这不是关于我的。
* * *
* * *
I trotted downstairs, taking in the chaos. Things were quite a mess; I guessed Glory had tried to clean up some while caring for P-21 and Scotch, but it still looked like a hurricane had blown through. There were dirty plates and cans of food all over the kitchen, and some things were stacked in boxes. P-21 and Scotch sat at the kitchen table, with the filly glaring at a sheet of paper while her lips moved the pencil around to draw on it. P-21 looked up at me with a tired smile, glanced up in the direction of my bedroom, then back at me in concern.
我小跑着下楼，看着这一片混乱。事情变得一团糟;我猜晨辉在照顾P-21和苏格兰威士忌的时候曾试图清理一些东西，但看起来还是像飓风吹过一样。厨房里到处都是脏盘子和罐头食品，还有一些东西堆在盒子里。P-21和苏格兰威士忌坐在厨房的桌子旁，小姑娘盯着一张纸，嘴唇动动铅笔在上面画画。P-21抬起头，带着疲倦的微笑看着我，朝我卧室的方向瞥了一眼，然后又关切地看着我。
“Well?” he asked as he bopped a wad of paper back and forth between his hooves.
"怎么样?"他一边问，一边用蹄子来回敲打着一团纸。
“She’s upset,” I said. “She’s not sure about… us…” Scotch harrumphed and spat the pencil aside.
"她很难过,"我说。"她不确定......我们......"苏格兰人哼了一声，把铅笔吐到一边。
“I told her she should just paddle your butt till you stopped being dumb,” the olive filly said as she looked at her sketch critically. “But Daddy said you’d just enjoy it.”
"我告诉她，她应该只是划你的屁股，直到你不再沉默,"橄榄小母马说，她批判地看着她的素描。"但是爸爸说你会喜欢的。"
I rolled my eyes. “It happened one time!” I snorted, with a blush. Then I frowned and thought a moment. “Twice… maybe three times… And anyway, I doubt Glory’s into that, or that it would make her feel better.”
我翻了翻白眼。"只发生过一次!"我哼了一声，脸红了。然后我皱起了眉头，想了一会儿。"两次......也许三次......不管怎么说，我怀疑晨辉是否喜欢这样，或者这样做会让她感觉好一些。"
“You’d be surprised,” P-21 murmured. “Why, just the thought of smacking you with a belt has gotten me through some rough patches. Belts. Baseball bats. Crowbars. Anything to get the message through,” he teased with an easy smile.
"你会大吃一惊的,"P-21低声说。"为什么，一想到要用皮带抽你就让我度过了一些艰难时期。皮带。棒球棒。铁撬。只要能让这个信息传达出去，我什么都愿意做。"。
“I don’t get why it’s such a big deal,” Scotch muttered as she looked down at her page. “It’s sex. You do it for fun. She made it sound like the most important thing ever.” I started to clean up, telekinetically gathering the trash up in a single heap before munching on the empty tin cans. Waste not, want not.
"我不明白这有什么大不了的,"苏格兰人低头看着自己的页面喃喃自语。"这是性。你只是为了好玩。她让这听起来像是最重要的事情。"我开始清理，用意念把垃圾收集成一堆，然后用力咀嚼那些空罐头。不浪费，不匮乏。
“For her it is,” P-21 said. “And she has a point. Where sex can lead to kids, you don’t want to have family you’re not ready to be responsible for. So you keep it special and reserved to ponies you absolutely want to have kids with.” He flushed as he looked away. “Being a parent is a serious commitment,” he said with a faintly ashamed look on his face.
"对她来说是的,"P-21说。"她说得有道理。在性可以导致孩子的地方，你不会想要一个你还没准备好负责的家庭。所以你要保持它的特殊性，保留给那些你绝对想要孩子的小马。"他转过脸去，脸涨得通红。"为人父母是一个严肃的承诺,"他脸上带着一丝羞愧的表情说道。
Scotch Tape looked up at him and then back at her papers. “Ugh… this is stupid!
苏格兰胶带抬头看了看他，然后又看了看她的文件。"呃......这太愚蠢了！
It won’t work!” The filly threw the scrolls away with a flip of her hooves. “I don’t know nothing about designing stuff. I was just supposed to fix things.” Then she started coughing and hacking, reminding me of another pony with difficulty breathing. Hopefully hers wouldn’t last as long as his did.
没用的!"小母马一甩蹄子就把纸卷扔掉了。"我对设计一窍不通。我只是负责解决问题。"然后，她开始咳嗽和干咳，让我想起了另一匹呼吸困难的小马。希望她的不会像他的那样持续那么久。
P-21 patted her on the back. He still wasn’t very good at the whole comforting thing. “We decide what we’re supposed to do for ourselves now. We’re not in Stable 99 anymore,” he said with a small frown. He looked at me, as if struggling for what he should say next. He was pretty new to this whole daddy thing, and really I couldn’t give him much in the way of advice. My own dad had been ‘U-8’. Then he reached over and pulled the scrolls back. “Explain it to me again. I know even less about this stuff than you. Show me why it won’t work.”
P-21轻拍她的后背。他还是不太擅长安慰别人。"我们现在决定自己应该做什么。我们已经不在Stable99了,"他微微皱着眉头说。他看着我，好像在为接下来该说什么而挣扎。他对父亲的事情是个新手，我真的不能给他太多的建议。我自己的父亲曾是"U-8"。然后他伸手把卷轴拉了回来。"再给我解释一遍。我对这些东西知道的比你还少。告诉我为什么它不起作用。"
Scotch Tape sighed and glared at the paper. “Well, we need water pressure, and for that we need volume and elevation–or the right kinds of pumps, but I don’t know where we’d get those–and for that we need pipe but I have no idea where the pipes are buried or where the shutoffs are or anything.” She huffed softly. “I can use the storm drain for an outlet… not quite healthy but better than what we have. Besides, any water that flows through the ground is at risk of radiation and taint.”
透明胶带叹了口气，瞪着报纸。"嗯，我们需要水压，为此我们需要体积和高度——或者合适的泵，但我不知道从哪里得到这些——为此我们需要管道，但我不知道管道埋在哪里，或者关闭阀在哪里等等。"她轻轻地喘了口气。"我可以用雨水沟来排水......虽然不是很健康，但比我们现有的好。此外，任何流过地面的水都有受到辐射和污染的危险。"
Flim and Flam really hadn’t done anypony any favors making all that Flux and selling it far and wide, I thought as I crumpled up the waste paper and stuffed it into a bag before tossing it into the living room fireplace for eventual disposal. Flux, the blood of Discord himself, didn’t seem like it broke down. Dilute it or bury it, it just stayed around poisoning and poisoning and poisoning. I thought of Gardens for the first time in a long time and shook my head. Someday… maybe…
我把废纸揉成一团，塞进一个袋子里，然后扔进客厅的壁炉里准备最后处理。弗拉克斯，不和谐的血液，他自己，似乎并没有崩溃。稀释或者掩埋它们，它们只会在中毒、中毒和中毒周围徘徊。很长时间以来，我第一次想到了花园，摇了摇头。有一天...也许..。
Boo bumped my hip, making me jump in surprise, and I saw the stealthy mare had more papers in her mouth. “You trying to help me, Boo?” I asked, hoping for a nod. Instead she smiled and blinked, setting her things down in my forehooves. Three Fancy Buck wrappers, a few pieces of scrap paper, and a rumpled-up pamphlet titled ‘Surrogacy and You’. “Where’d you get that?” Boo just blinked back at me. I supposed it must have come from one of Marigold’s old crates.
布撞到了我的屁股，吓得我跳了起来，我看见那匹鬼鬼祟祟的母马嘴里还有更多的纸。"你是想帮我吗，波?"我问道，希望得到一个点头。相反，她微笑着眨着眼睛，把她的东西放在我的前蹄上。三张花俏的美元包装纸，几张废纸，还有一本皱巴巴的小册子，书名是《代孕和你》。"你从哪儿弄来的?"布也对我眨了眨眼睛。我猜想它一定是从万寿菊的旧箱子里掉出来的。
“You’ll find a way to get the water pressure you need, Scotch,” P-21 said as I turned over the Ministry of Peace’s pamphlet. “Maybe… could you put the water
"苏格兰人，你会找到办法得到你所需要的水压的,"P-21在我翻阅和平部的小册子时说。"也许......你能把水放进去吗
in a barrel or something on a tall pole?”
桶里还是高杆上的什么东西里?"
“Maybe,” Scotch murmured as she glowered at the page. “But it would be tricky to build. And there wouldn’t be much rainwater collection area for it to use; you’d have to spread things out over the town. And that would reduce the rainwater available for drinking...”
"也许吧,"苏格兰人一边怒目而视，一边喃喃地说。"但建造起来会很棘手。而且不会有太多的雨水收集区供它使用;你必须把东西分散到整个城镇。这将减少可用于饮用的雨水......"
“Sometimes you have to make compromises,” P-21 replied. She grunted softly.
"有时候你必须做出妥协,"P-21回答。她轻轻地哼了一声。
I pulled open the pamphlet and saw a slightly crumpled Fluttershy smiling back at me. There were pictures of two mares holding hooves, one with a slightly swollen belly bump, and a diagram of mare anatomy. Some of the words had smeared beyond legibility, but I read what I could.
我拉开小册子，看到一只略微皱巴巴的小蝴蝶朝我微笑。有两匹母马的照片举行蹄，一个有轻微肿胀的肚子凹凸，和一个母马解剖图。有些字已经模糊得看不清楚了，但我还是尽可能地看了看。
If you are a mare reading this, it is because you are an eligible candidate to receive the unborn foal of a mare unwilling or unable to carry the baby to term. Allow me to thank you personally for your courage in considering this procedure and to offer you a hug of thanks if you have already agreed. There is nothing more precious to the world than healthy and happy life. Allow me to explain the procedure the M.o.P. has developed so that nopony will have to know the pain of a lost child.
如果你是一匹母马阅读这，这是因为你是一个合格的候选人接受未出生的母马驹不愿意或不能怀孕到足月的婴儿。请允许我亲自感谢你考虑这一程序的勇气，如果你已经同意，请给你一个拥抱表示感谢。对这个世界来说，没有什么比健康和幸福的生活更宝贵的了。请允许我解释一下m.o.p.发展出来的程序，这样一来，任何小马都不会体会到迷路孩子的痛苦。
Surrogacy is a complex spell process which takes an eligible candidate, prepares her body to carry a foal, and then teleports the baby from one mother to another. As with any tissue transplant, it is vital that the two ponies involved be as closely matched as possible to prevent the recipient’s body from rejecting the child. Perhaps you are a mother, sister, or daughter of the recipient? Even more distant relatives are still stronger candidates to carry the child successfully than unrelated ponies, for whom there is almost no possibility of success.
代孕是一个复杂的法术过程，需要一个符合条件的候选人，准备她的身体来孕育小马驹，然后将婴儿从一个母亲传送到另一个母亲。与任何组织移植一样，为了防止受者的身体对孩子产生排斥反应，两匹小马尽可能匹配是至关重要的。也许你是接受者的母亲、姐妹或女儿？甚至更远的亲戚也比不相关的小马更有可能成功怀上孩子，因为它们几乎没有成功的可能性。
If your body is not already in its fertile cycle, biological magic will be used to give a little nudge and put your body into that state. I know it’s uncomfortable, but it’s necessary to prevent shock to the baby and you. Once done, the surrogacy spell will magically teleport the unborn baby from the mother to your own womb. The process will involve some discomfort, particularly if the baby is well developed, but your body should adapt.
如果你的身体还没有进入生育周期，那么生物魔法将会用来推动你的身体进入那个状态。我知道这很不舒服，但这是必要的，以防止电击的婴儿和你。一旦完成，代孕咒语将神奇地将未出生的婴儿从母亲传送到你自己的子宫。这个过程会有一些不适，特别是如果婴儿发育良好，但你的身体应该适应。
Please realize that surrogacy is very stressful on the baby, and as such we cannot remove the unborn child a second time. Understand that while you are a surrogate and may get attached to your infant, the legal rights remain--
请意识到代孕对胎儿来说压力很大，因此我们不能再次移除胎儿。你要明白，虽然你是代孕妈妈，可能会依恋你的婴儿，但是你的合法权利依然存在
The rest of the brochure was too obscured for me to read. I frowned as I looked from it to P-21 and Scotch Tape working at the table. Fluttershy had said that Marigold had been an ideal candidate for the spell. And hadn’t she been Twilight’s cousin? But… no. That wasn’t possible. I hadn’t been able to open the door in Tenpony. I’d failed the test.
小册子的其余部分太模糊了，我看不清楚。我皱着眉头，看着桌子上的P-21和透明胶带。Fluttershy说万寿菊是这个咒语的理想人选。她不是暮光之城的表妹吗？但是...没有。这是不可能的。在Tenpony，我一直没能打开那扇门。我没通过测试。
So… why did I suddenly feel uncomfortable?
那么...为什么我突然感到不舒服呢？
I sighed and added the pamphlet to the rest of the trash in the fireplace. It wasn’t like I had Marigold’s entire genetic history with me. Maybe she’d been Rarity’s cousin twice removed? Or had some Apple in her? Who knew for sure? It could all be one big coincidence.
我叹了口气，把小册子放到了壁炉里其他的垃圾堆里。又不是说我身上有玛丽戈尔德的全部基因历史。也许她是雷诺的远房表妹？还是吃了点苹果？谁知道呢？这可能是一个巨大的巧合。
“Hey, P-21. There were a whole bunch of boxes in Marigold’s room. Where did they get put?” I asked with a little frown.
"嘿，P-21。玛丽戈德的房间里有一大堆箱子。他们被安置在哪里?"我皱着眉头问道。
“In the basement, closest to the stairs,” my blue friend said as he sat beside his daughter, waving a hoof towards the kitchen and a nondescript wooden door in the corner. Whoa... we had a basement? I trotted over to the basement door and looked down the stairs dropping into the earth. Somepony had carved them from solid rock, and the broad steps curved around to my left. I pressed the light switch, and the bulbs overhead flickered to life. I trotted carefully downwards, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu.
"在地下室，离楼梯最近,"我的蓝色朋友说，他坐在女儿身边，挥舞着一只蹄子朝厨房走去，角落里有一扇不起眼的木门。哇，我们还有地下室？我小跑着来到地下室的门口，顺着楼梯往下看，楼梯掉进了土里。一匹小马用坚硬的岩石雕刻了它们，宽阔的台阶在我的左边弯曲着。我按下电灯开关，头顶上的灯泡开始闪烁起来。我小心翼翼地向下小跑，感到一种奇怪的似曾相识的感觉。
Clearly, we weren’t the first to put things down here. The amount of stuff crammed in the deep, narrow space astonished me. Old furniture half covered up by sheets. Boxes with bags of ancient clothing. Pieces of worn, manually-driven kitchen equipment. It was one thing to think of Star House being around since the war, but as I looked deeper into the space, I had to wonder just how long ago it’d been built. Even the walls of the basement were decorated with stars and moons.
显然，我们不是第一个把东西放在这里的人。塞在这个又深又窄的空间里的东西数量之多使我感到惊讶。旧家具被床单半遮半掩。装有古代服装袋的箱子。磨损的手动厨房设备的碎片。想到星宫自战争以来就一直存在是一回事，但是当我更深入地观察这个空间时，我不得不想知道它是什么时候建成的。甚至地下室的墙上也装饰着星星和月亮。
I checked the boxes closest to the door and discovered lots of the contents were books of all sorts. Most were books on astronomy, astrology, mythology, and pony history. There had to be a few hundred books just boxed up here. I saw a note on the top of one pile, written in Twilight’s familiar script.
我检查了离门最近的箱子，发现里面的很多东西都是各种各样的书。大部分是关于天文学，占星术，神话学和小马历史的书。这里刚好有几百本书。我看到一叠纸的上面有一张便条，是用《暮光之城》熟悉的剧本写的。
Dear Marigold,
亲爱的万寿菊:
Please hold on to these copies from the Hoofington Library. I know that Image is
请保管好从胡芬顿图书馆借来的这些书。我知道Image是
supposed to screen all books for inappropriate material, but I just can’t stand to think of any of them being ‘sanitized’. I don’t know what Rarity is thinking some days. She’s grown so cold and distant. I don’t know if I should talk to her, my friends, or Celestia, or Luna, or… ugh… Goldenblood about it. I just don’t know. I want to talk to… somepony. I don’t know who, but I want to so terribly. What’s happening to all my friends? What’s happening to me? What’s happening to us all?
应该筛选所有的书籍的不适当的材料，但我只是不能忍受认为他们是'消毒'。我不知道某些日子里稀有在想什么。她变得如此冷漠和疏远。我不知道我是否应该和她，我的朋友，或者塞莱斯蒂亚，或者露娜，或者......呃......金血王谈论这件事。我只是不知道。我想和......某个女人谈谈。我不知道是谁，但我非常想知道。我的朋友们怎么了？我这是怎么了？我们到底怎么了？
I’m sorry that things didn’t work out with you and the space program. We’re still going to launch rockets to learn more about the moon, stars, and Equestria… until they turn those into weapons too. I think you did a really brave thing keeping your baby. I want you to know that no matter what happens, I’m going to see to it that you and your baby receive the care you deserve. I’m glad you’re in grand auntie’s cottage. She was always a little nutty, but she loved that house.
我很抱歉你和太空计划没有成功。我们仍然要发射火箭去了解更多关于月球、星星和小马国的情况......直到他们把这些也变成武器。我觉得你留下孩子真的很勇敢。我想让你知道，无论发生什么，我都会确保你和你的宝宝得到应有的照顾。我很高兴你在祖母的小屋里。她总是有点疯疯癫癫的，但她喜欢那所房子。
Please take care of yourself and your baby. I’ll try and make her next birthday.
请照顾好自己和宝宝。我会尽量让她明年过生日。
Celestia knows, I feel like I need something to celebrate.
塞莱斯蒂亚知道，我觉得我需要一些东西来庆祝。
Love,
爱,
Twilight Sparkle.
紫悦。
PS: Did you know Cadance had another foal? Everypony’s having babies except me and my friends! I’m getting a little jealous!
你知道凯登斯还有一匹小马驹吗？除了我和我的朋友，每个小马都有孩子了！我有点嫉妒了！
I looked at the signature: precise and elegant with swooping cursive letters. The script showed all the care of someone who loved the written word. Twilight had wanted a child. She’d been a Ministry Mare, but while all her devotion was focused on Ministry, there was no denying she been a mare too. She’d been together with Big Mac, but… had Goldenblood removed him from her memory? Had this been written before or after Gardens had been completed?
我看着他的签名:精确而优雅，上面写着潦草的字母。这个剧本表现了一个热爱文字的人的全部关怀。暮光想要一个孩子。她曾经是一匹母马，但是当她所有的奉献都集中在母马身上的时候，不可否认她也是一匹母马。她一直和巨无霸在一起，但是...难道金血王已经把他从她的记忆中抹去了吗？这是在花园建成之前还是之后写的？
I could have screamed in frustration! Instead, I folded the letter and put it back. I wasn’t going to let it get me mad. Nope. Not going to pay any attention to nagging questions.
我本可以沮丧地尖叫起来！相反，我把信折起来放回去了。我不会让它把我惹毛的。没有。不会去注意那些烦人的问题。
Especially when it came to my own lineage.
尤其是涉及到我自己的血统时。
After dying, again, and what I’d experienced in Happyhorn, I put the shame I felt welling up in me on trial. What would it matter if Twilight were my
在死后，再一次，以及我在Happyhorn的经历，我把我内心涌起的羞耻感带到了审判中。如果暮光之城是我的
ancestor? Okay, I wasn’t nearly as smart as she was, but Twilight hadn’t been perfect either. Not after what I’d seen in Hippocratic Research. She might have been the most accomplished magic user of all time, but she was still a mare. She made mistakes. Back in Tenpony, I’d craved normalcy and resented the transformation Glory had put me through. Now I was a twice-resurrected cyberpony with a goddess in my head. All I needed were wings, and I’d be a cyber zombie alicorn! Ministry Mare decendancy would be a step towards normal!
祖先？好吧，我不像她那么聪明，但是《暮光之城》也不完美。在我看过希波克拉底研究之后就不是了。她可能是有史以来最成功的魔法使用者，但她仍然是一匹母马。她犯了错误。回到Tenpony，我渴望恢复正常，对晨辉让我经历的转变感到愤怒。现在我是一匹复活了两次的赛博马，脑袋里有一个女神。我只需要一对翅膀，我就会成为一个网络僵尸角了！部门马的减少将是迈向正常的一步！
No. Glory forgiving me would be a step towards normal…
没有。晨辉原谅我将是迈向正常的一步..。
Sweet Celestia, Blackjack, when you screw up you really screw up.
甜蜜的天堂，黑杰克，当你把事情搞砸的时候，你真的搞砸了。
“Dealer,” I said softly as Boo flopped into a half-empty box. I looked around the dim space. “I dunno if you can hear me, but… I’d like to talk, if we could.” The pale blank sat up with a crinkly astronomy magazine atop her head like a hat.
"交易商,"我轻声说，布跌进了一个半空的盒子里。我环顾四周昏暗的空间。"我不知道你能不能听到我，但是......如果可以的话，我想和你谈谈。"脸色苍白的姑娘坐了起来，头上顶着一本皱巴巴的天文学杂志，像一顶帽子。
Nothing. I wanted to feel… something. A tension or tightening in my chest. A closing of my throat. Instead, all within me was calm and regulated. “I don’t know what to do about Glory. How do I make it up to her? How can I make it right?”
没什么。我想感受...一些东西。我的胸部紧张或绷紧。合上我的喉咙。相反，我内心的一切都是平静和规范的。"我不知道该拿晨辉怎么办。我该怎么补偿她呢？我怎么才能弥补呢?"
I knelt beside the box and gently lifted the magazine from atop Boo’s mane. She blinked up at me with her pale, colorless eyes from within the nest of old papers.
我跪在盒子旁边，轻轻地从布的鬃毛上拿起杂志。她那双苍白无神的眼睛从一堆旧报纸里向我眨了眨眼睛。
My butt hit the floor as my eyes looked up at the stars carved in the ceiling, shedding the only expression of remorse I had left. “I don’t know what I’m doing any more. I don’t even know about following EC-1101. I nearly killed her sister and betrayed her trust. How can things ever be right between us?” Boo looked at me in bafflement, then stretched towards me, and suddenly the box overturned, spilling the magazines and papers all over the place. I caught her before she hurt herself, smiling despite the worry churning inside me.
当我抬头看着天花板上雕刻的星星时，我的屁股撞到了地板上，那是我唯一留下的悔恨的表情。"我不知道我在做什么。我甚至不知道遵循EC-1101。我差点杀了她妹妹，辜负了她的信任。我们之间怎么可能一帆风顺呢?"布困惑地看着我，然后伸向我，突然盒子翻倒了，杂志和报纸撒得到处都是。我赶在她伤害自己之前抓住了她，尽管我内心的担忧翻腾，她还是微笑着。
Boo gave a smile back, and then I spotted something in the corner of the box. A faint glow…
布也报以微笑，然后我在盒子的角落里发现了什么东西。微弱的光芒..。
I extracted the memory orb from the heaps of fliers from the Luna Space Center. The faded papers showed finned rockets blasting off from beside a large slab-sided black building sporting a crescent moon decoration. Marigold’s memory? I could use a little vacation.
我从月球太空中心的一堆飞行器中取出了记忆球。褪色的文件显示，一枚翅片状的火箭弹从一座大型黑色建筑物旁边发射出来，这座建筑物的墙面上装饰着一轮新月。万寿菊的记忆？我需要一个小假期。
Old habits die hard. At least right now I wasn’t anywhere I’d get somepony killed. I tapped the orb to my horn, closing my eyes and hoping I wasn’t going to have a memory of my great grandmother ten times removed getting laid. I really didn’t need that right--
旧习难改。至少现在我不在任何地方我会害死一匹小马。我把球拍到我的喇叭上，闭上眼睛，希望我不会记得我的曾祖母十次去做爱。我真的不需要那个权利
oooOOOooo
噢噢噢
Okay, not Marigold having sex. The unicorn stood at a window looking out at the rockets that sat on their launch pads. Only one was being worked on by a crew as they attached hoses and booster rockets. Twelve more just stood there like abandoned toys. Far off, I could make out the long, ugly block-shaped buildings of what I assumed was a military base of some kind. Since I couldn’t see the Core, I really had no way to orient myself.
好吧，不是玛丽戈尔德做爱。这只独角兽站在窗前，望着发射台上的火箭。只有一个正在工作的船员，因为他们连接软管和助推器火箭。还有十二个像被遗弃的玩具一样站在那里。在遥远的地方，我能辨认出那些长长的、丑陋的方块形建筑物，我以为它们是某种军事基地。因为我看不到核心，我真的没有办法确定自己的方向。
The unicorn stood in some sort of waiting room. Through the doors were a number of raised voices. I heard Twilight Sparkle for sure, and once or twice I thought I could hear Princess Luna. Their exact words were muddled, but the tone was hardly good. Then Glory’s reflection focused in the glass before Marigold… no, not Glory. Rainbow Dash.
独角兽站在某种候诊室里。门外传来许多高亢的声音。我确实听到了紫悦的声音，有一两次我以为我能听到卢娜公主的声音。他们的措辞模糊不清，但语气很不好。然后晨辉的倒影聚焦在万寿菊面前的玻璃上......不，不是晨辉。彩虹冲刺。
The cyan pegasus appeared a bit older than Glory, and the tips of her mane had started turning a lighter shade of each rainbow color. There were crow’s feet in the corners of her eyes. She was tough, but tired. “Hey. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure they’ll restart the program.” As she waved her hoof dismissively, I saw a sleek black Delta PipBuck attached to her left forehoof.
青色的飞马看起来比晨辉稍老一点，鬃毛的尖端开始变成彩虹颜色的浅色。她的眼角有鱼尾纹。她很坚强，但也很疲惫。"嘿。别担心。我相信他们会重启程序的。"当她不屑地挥动着她的蹄子时，我看到她的左前蹄上系着一只光滑的黑色三角洲皮布克鸟。
“I wish I had your confidence,” Marigold murmured softly as she looked back at the rocket. “Only one launch a month, if at all. This place was supposed to have ten times that. It was supposed to be a way towards a new future. Now it’s just a target for the zebras.”
"我希望我有你的信心,"玛丽戈尔德低声说，她回头看着火箭。"如果有的话，一个月只能发射一次。这个地方应该有10倍那么多。这应该是一条通向新未来的道路。现在它只是斑马的目标。"
Rainbow Dash sighed and said ruefully, “Yeah, the stripes really do like taking shots at this place. Don’t worry, though. They’d have to hit this place a lot harder than they have to get through my air defense team.” The pegasus gave a little grin. “It’s the Hoofington defense all over again, only instead of them wasting their time and weapons on the city, they waste them shooting at this place.”
彩虹·达什叹了口气，悲伤地说:"是啊，条纹真的很喜欢在这个地方拍照。不过别担心。他们攻击这个地方的难度要比通过我的防空小组的难度大得多。"飞马给了我一个微笑。"胡芬顿的防御再次上演，只不过他们不是在城市上浪费时间和武器，而是在这个地方浪费时间和武器。"
“Wonderful,” Marigold said lightly. “I’d be fine with that if we actually had a space program somewhere else. Anywhere!” Marigold said with an aggravated snort. “If it weren’t for the O.I.A. sending up occasional missiles, they’d
"太好了,"玛丽戈尔德轻声说。"如果我们真的在其他地方有一个太空计划，我对此没有意见。任何地方!"玛丽戈尔德带着严重的鼻息声说。"如果不是因为o.i.a.偶尔发射导弹，他们就会这么做
probably just let the zebras level this place.” She sighed and bowed her head. “I don’t even know why Twilight asked me to come. They haven’t called me in for questions or anything.”
也许就让斑马把这里夷为平地吧"她叹了口气，低下了头。"我甚至不知道为什么《暮光之城》邀请我来。他们没有叫我回去问问题什么的。"
“Because you’re the only pony who’s ever walked on the moon... well, except for Luna. Even I haven’t done that,” Rainbow Dash said, giving my flank a nudge. “Relax. All the ministries want the space program resumed. Only the pencil pushers keep whining about costs.” Then Rainbow Dash frowned a little. “Okay. So maybe Rarity and Pinkie Pie just want those Eye-Spy satellite things in orbit. It’s still a reason to go up there, right?”
"因为你是唯一一匹在月球上行走过的小马......除了露娜。甚至连我自己都没有这么做,"彩虹·达什说，用肘轻轻推了一下我的侧腹。"放松。所有部委都希望恢复航天计划。只有那些文书工作者还在抱怨成本问题。"然后彩虹·达什皱了一下眉头。"好吧。所以也许稀有和小指派只是想要那些眼睛-间谍卫星的东西在轨道上。这仍然是去那里的理由，对吗?"
“Ooooh, is somepony talking about me?” squealed an enthusiastic voice as Pinkie Pie appeared from… actually, I wasn’t sure where she came from. The pink mare was, like her friend, definitely showing signs of wear and tear. She threw her forelegs around Rainbow Dash and hugged. “Isn’t this just great! And soon we’re going to be meeting Rarity and Applejack and Spikey Wikey! It’s just like old times!” But from the strain in Pinkie’s grin and the sickly look on Rainbow Dash’s face, this was anything but like old times.
"噢，有小马在谈论我吗?"当小粉红派从......实际上，我不确定她从哪里来的时候，她发出了热情的尖叫声。这匹粉红色的母马，像她的朋友一样，显然显示出磨损和撕裂的迹象。她伸出前腿抱住彩虹·达什。"这真是太棒了！很快我们就会见到稀有，苹果白兰地和斯皮基威基！就像以前一样!"但是从平奇紧张的笑容和彩虹·达什脸上病怏怏的表情来看，这绝不是过去的事了。
Rainbow Dash mustered an honest smile as she extracted herself from Pinkie Pie’s embrace. “Yeah. I can’t wait to show you what Rarity’s been cooking up for me. It’s going to be so awesome!”
彩虹·达什从小指派的怀抱中挣脱出来，脸上露出了真诚的微笑。"是的。我迫不及待地想让你看看雷诺为我准备的东西。真是太棒了!"
“Cooking?! Aw, Dashie. If you needed cooking done you should have talked to me.” The pink mare adopted a hurt little pout. “It’s been so long since we’ve been together. I really need to show you some of my latest little surprises. Angel’s been helping me with them!”
"做饭?！啊，达什。如果你需要做饭，你应该告诉我。"粉红色的母马撅起了受伤的小嘴。"我们很久没有在一起了。我真的需要给你看看我最近的一些小惊喜。安吉尔一直在帮我做这些事情!"
Looking a little wary, the cyan pegasus leaned away from the pink mare. “Yeah, I keep wanting to see you, but between the fighting, my own projects, and Goldenblood’s scheduling, I never get a--” Rainbow Dash was cut off as Pinkie Pie scowled and looked away. The change was so abrupt that it was frightening.
青色的飞马看起来有点警惕，从粉红色的母马身边俯下身子。"是的，我一直想见你，但是在战斗、我自己的项目和金色血液的日程安排之间，我从来没有得到过——"彩虹·达什被打断了，小指客皱起眉头，看向别处。这种变化是如此突然，以至于令人害怕。
Then, almost as quickly, it disappeared, and the pink mare smiled at Marigold. “Hey, excuse us for a teenie weenie second, will you?” And coiling her poofy tail around Rainbow’s throat, Pinkie Pie all but dragged her from the room.
然后，几乎同样迅速地，它消失了，粉红色的母马对万寿菊笑了笑。"嘿，我们失陪一下，好吗?"小粉红派用她娘娘腔的尾巴缠住了彩虹的喉咙，几乎把她从房间里拖了出来。
Marigold sighed and looked towards the closed doors and the continued shouting behind them. She stood there for several more minutes as a familiar pressure built in her bladder. Finally, she turned and left the room, trotting down the hall.
玛丽戈尔德叹了口气，朝紧闭的门和后面持续的叫喊望去。她在那里站了几分钟，膀胱里产生了一种熟悉的压力。最后，她转身离开了房间，小跑着穿过大厅。
The massive building was surprisingly tight inside and reminded me of Hoofington Memorial with its dim halls and almost empty rooms. Marigold found a bathroom and did her business.
这座宏伟的建筑出人意料地狭窄，让我想起了胡芬顿纪念馆昏暗的大厅和几乎空无一人的房间。玛丽戈尔德找到了一个浴室，开始做她的事情。
Then, as she started back, she heard Rainbow Dash blurt, “Pinkie Pie, that’s crazy! There’s no way in heck that Goldenblood is a traitor!”
然后，当她往回走的时候，她听到彩虹冲口而出,"小手指派，这太疯狂了！金血王绝对不可能是叛徒!"
Marigold froze in place, then backed towards a door that was open a crack. The office had been stripped of all its former accouterments save the large desk and terminal. Pinkie Pie was typing at it, the green glow of the monitor giving her eyes an almost possessed look. “It’s the only explanation, Dashie. Look, somepony is passing tippy-top secret information to the enemy. The megaspells could have only been leaked by somepony with Ministry Mare-level clearance. So either Luna gave the zebras megaspells to make things more challenging, or Goldenblood did.”
万寿菊呆在原地，然后退向一扇开着一条裂缝的门。除了大写字台和终端机之外，办公室已经没有了以前的所有装备。小手指派正在打字，显示器上的绿色光芒让她的眼睛看上去几乎着了魔。"这是唯一的解释，达什。看，有人在向敌人传递最高机密信息。这些巨型细胞只可能是由某个有部级许可的小马泄露出来的。所以要么卢娜给斑马巨细胞，让事情变得更有挑战性，要么金布拉德给了。"
“Look, Pinkie, I know you don’t like Goldenblood, but you can’t just accuse–” Rainbow Dash began before getting an angry glare from her friend.
"听着，平奇，我知道你不喜欢金色血统，但你不能就这样指责——"彩虹·达什开始了，然后她的朋友愤怒地瞪了她一眼。
“I remember MMMM, thank you!” Pinkie Pie said as she typed some more. “Look Dashie, Goldenblood is up to no good. I’ve tracked dozens of little schemes linked to him. He’s been getting money from fancy pants ponies all across Equestria. I’ve got evidence that Hippocratic Research is just a front for the O.I.A. They had basic weaponized megaspells before Luna gave the orders to Twilight to start working on them! There’s evidence the O.I.A. is meddling with Stable-Tec and dozens of other businesses. And there’s all these other secret projects that might be in the zebras’ hooves. This is more than just my Pinkie Sense. He’s guilty!”
"我记得MMMM，谢谢!"平奇·派边说边打了更多的字。"瞧，大头仔，金血王不怀好意。我追踪了几十个和他有关的小阴谋。他一直从Equestria各地的花哨小马身上赚钱。我有证据表明希波克拉底研究所只是o.i.a.的幌子。在Luna命令暮光之城开始对它们进行研究之前，他们已经有了基本的武器化巨细胞！有证据表明o.i.a.正在干预Stable-Tec和其他几十个业务。还有其他一些秘密项目，可能就在斑马的蹄子里。这不仅仅是我的小指感觉。他有罪!"
Rainbow Dash frowned as she looked at the terminal screen. “Okay.”
彩虹·达什看着终端屏幕皱起了眉头。"好吧。"
“And I don’t care what Twilight says--” Pinkie Pie blinked, then blurted, “You believe me?”
"我不在乎《暮光之城》说什么——"平奇·派眨了眨眼，然后脱口而出,"你相信我吗?"
“Let’s just say it’s worth looking into,” Rainbow Dash countered with a wan smile. Pinkie gave a little squeal and threw her hooves around Rainbow Dash’s neck in a fierce embrace. The relief Pinkie Pie showed was more than mere gratitude. Rainbow Dash sighed and gently pushed her away before continuing. “Let’s say you’re right and Goldenblood really is a traitor. None of this is actual proof! We need somepony to gather evidence that the O.I.A. is passing secrets to
"这么说吧，值得调查一下,"RainbowDash面带苍白的笑容反驳道。萍琪尖叫了一声，用蹄子猛地搂住了彩虹·达什的脖子。平奇·派所表现出的宽慰不仅仅是感激。彩虹·达什叹了口气，轻轻地把她推开，然后继续。"假设你是对的，金血王确实是个叛徒。这些都不是真正的证据！我们需要有人收集证据证明o.i.a.把秘密传递给他们
the enemy or working behind Luna’s back. Something that Princess Luna can’t ignore. Maybe I can talk to Sapphire, my liaison.”
或者在露娜背后工作。露娜公主无法忽视的事情。也许我可以和我的联络人Sapphire谈谈。"
Pinkie Pie snorted, “If she’s anything like Quartz, she’s his. I haven’t met a single pony who works for the O.I.A. who wasn’t more loyal to him than to the Princess.” She rubbed her chin. “What we need is somepony who the O.I.A. could use.”
小手指派哼了一声,"如果她像Quartz一样，那么她就是他的。我从来没有遇到过一个为o.i.a.工作的小马，对他比对公主更忠诚。"她揉揉下巴。"我们需要一个o.i.a.可以利用的人。"
Rainbow blinked and then slowly grinned, “Not some pony. Some zebra!”
彩虹眨了眨眼，然后慢慢地咧嘴笑道:"不是什么小马。一些斑马!"
The pair looked at each other and said in unison, “Zecora!”
两人看着对方，异口同声地说:"泽科拉!"
Wait… who?
等等...谁？
“Dashie, you’re a genius! If we can get Goldenblood to think he can use her, then we can nail him!” Pinkie Pie hopped on the ends of her hooves as she bounced around her embarrassed cyan friend. She sat and rubbed her chin. “We’ll have to meet with her and work out the specifics. Train her... Maybe we can find some way to ‘disgrace’ her. He loves using people who’ve been hurt in some way.”
"大茜，你真是个天才！如果我们能让金布拉德认为他可以利用她，那么我们就可以抓住他!"萍琪跳上了她的马蹄，在她尴尬的青色朋友周围蹦来蹦去。她坐下来揉了揉下巴。"我们必须与她会面，商讨具体细节。训练她...也许我们可以找到某种方式羞辱她。他喜欢利用那些在某些方面受到伤害的人。"
“And once she’s in the O.I.A., she can look for anything out of the ordinary. Beyond Goldenblood, I mean,” Rainbow Dash amended, cutting Pinkie Pie off before she could retort. The pegasus put her hooves on Pinkie’s shoulders to placate her. “I agree there is something really rotten in the O.I.A. If it’s Goldenblood… well, Luna won’t be happy. If it’s something else, he needs to be slammed for letting it pass under his nose.”
"一旦她到了O.I.A.，她就可以寻找任何不同寻常的东西。"超越金色血统，我的意思是,"彩虹·达什修正道，在她反驳之前把小指派切掉了。飞马把她的蹄子放在平奇的肩膀上来安抚她。"我同意在o.i.a.中确实存在一些腐败的东西。如果是金色血液...卢娜会不高兴的。如果是别的原因，他应该受到抨击，因为他让这件事从他眼皮底下溜走了。"
“Thanks, Dashie,” Pinkie Pie said in relief, rubbing her eyes. “When I decided to start stopping bad ponies, I didn’t know just how bad some of them could be.”
"谢谢，大头怪,"平奇·派如释重负地说，揉揉眼睛。"当我决定开始停止养坏马时，我不知道它们中的一些会有多坏。"
“Don’t worry about it,” the pegasus said, and then her PipBuck beeped sharply. She frowned and looked away. “Yes? Yes. You know I am.” Her frown deepened and then she slumped. “Okay. I want three intercept teams in the air, now. I’m en route.” She looked over at Pinkie and gave an apologetic little smile. “Sorry, Pinkie. Looks like the zebras want to play. I’ll see you in Manehattan.” She paused and put a hoof on Pinkie Pie’s shoulder. “Please… try to get along with Twilight.”
"别担心,"珀加索斯说着，她的皮伯克尖锐地响了起来。她皱起眉头，转过脸去。"什么事？是的。你知道我是的。"她皱着眉头，然后瘫倒在地。"好吧。我要三个拦截小队马上出动。我在路上了。"她看着平奇，歉意地微笑了一下。"对不起，平奇。看来斑马想玩了。我们曼哈顿见。"她停顿了一下，把一只蹄子放在派的肩膀上。"拜托......试着和《暮光之城》相处。"
Pinkie gasped and swelled, gritted her teeth, and slowly swallowed her rage.
平奇目瞪口呆，鼓起勇气，咬紧牙关，慢慢吞下她的愤怒。
“I’ll… try… She just can’t accept she’s not the only smarty smart pants. She just can’t accept that she might actually be wrong.”
"我会......试试......她只是不能接受她不是唯一一个自作聪明的聪明人。她只是无法接受自己可能真的错了。"
“Yeah, well, that’s Twilight for you.” Rainbow glanced at her PipBuck. “Anyway. We can work out the details at your hub after the meeting with Rarity. Gotta fly.”
"是啊，这就是《暮光之城》给你的感觉。"彩虹瞥了一眼她的皮布克。"不管怎么说。我们可以在与稀有会面之后在你们的中心制定细节。我要飞了。"
“Yes you do, Dashie,” Pinkie said with a small, sad little smile.
"是的，你知道，大头儿,"平奇微微一笑说。
The pegasus unlatched a window and pushed the thick glass open with a hoof, then looked back with her own small smile. “Yeah. I do. ‘Cause it will be so awesome.” And with that she flew out into the air. Pinkie pushed the window shut with a tired, frayed little smile. Then she paused, her ears flopping back and forth. A second later she sniffled and wrinkled her nose. Finally she hopped twice.
飞马打开窗户，用蹄子推开厚厚的玻璃，然后微笑着回头看。"是的。我知道。"因为那会很棒的。"就这样，她飞到了空中。平奇推开窗户，露出疲倦而脆弱的微笑。然后她停顿了一下，耳朵前后拍打着。过了一会儿，她抽了抽鼻子，皱了皱鼻子。最后她单脚跳了两次。
Then she snapped around and looked right at me. Her bright blue eyes flattened as she stared into Marigold’s. “Uh oh! Somepony’s been baaaaaad!” she said as her lips curled in a grin that spread wider and wider as she advanced. “Didn’t anypony teach you it’s naughty to spy on other ponies?” Marigold turned and ran for her life, heart hammering!
然后她突然转过身来，直勾勾地看着我。她盯着玛丽戈尔德的眼睛，明亮的蓝眼睛变得扁平。"啊哦！有些小马被"咩——————--"她边说边咧开嘴笑着，嘴唇越来越大。"难道没有小马教过你，偷窥别的小马是不礼貌的吗?"玛丽戈尔德转身逃命，心怦怦直跳！
“I just have to find somepony!” she gasped to herself as she ran down the empty halls and past the offices. She stopped at a T and looked left and right, glancing behind herself before darting down to the right. Pinkie Pie wasn’t running after her, though. She simply bounced along behind on her four hooves. She didn’t seem to cover all that much ground. But every time Marigold looked back, the grinning pink mare grew closer and closer.
"我只是需要找到一匹小马!"她一边喘着气，一边跑过空荡荡的大厅和办公室。她在一个t前停下来，左顾右盼，看了看自己的身后，然后飞奔到右边。但是小派并没有追着她跑。她只是用四只蹄子在后面蹦来蹦去。她似乎没有考虑到那么多问题。但是每次玛丽戈尔德回头看的时候，咧着嘴笑的粉红色母马就越来越近。
Marigold burst through an access door into a work area. All the terminals were dark, the desks scattered with abandoned litter and dust. She raced across the room, not daring to glance behind herself any more. Then there was a flash of pink mane in the doorway ahead of her! Marigold dove to the side, racing along towards another exit. A silhouette of a signature poofy mane appeared in the frosted glass window pane. Marigold ducked beneath a workstation and spotted a few empty glass orbs.
万寿菊破门而入，进入工作区。所有的终端都是黑暗的，桌子上散落着废弃的垃圾和灰尘。她跑过房间，再也不敢往身后看了。然后她前面的门口出现了一缕粉红色的鬃毛！玛丽戈尔德跳到一边，向另一个出口疾驰而去。磨砂玻璃窗玻璃上出现了一个标志性的蓬松鬃毛剪影。玛丽戈尔德躲到一个工作站下面，发现了几个空的玻璃球。
“Wheeeere’s Pinkie Pie?” the mare called out as the unicorn lifted an orb to her horn. “Wheeere’s Pinkie Pie?” the mare called again, her voice echoing in the cavernous space as Marigold’s horn flashed. Then… nothing. The orb began to
"wheeere'sPinkiePie?"当独角兽向她的角举起球体时，母马大叫。"气喘小弟弟派?"母马又叫了起来，她的声音在洞穴般的空间里回响着，玛丽戈尔德的号角在空中闪烁着。然后...什么都没了。球体开始转动
glow with swirling light as she filled it with her memory. “Wheeeeere’s Pinkie Pie?” the voice sounded out again, now growing more distant. The mare relaxed a moment, breathing a sigh of relief.
在她的记忆中闪耀着旋转的光芒。"Wheeeeere'sPinkiePie?"声音又响了起来，现在越来越远了。母马放松了一下，松了一口气。
Then two hooves wrapped around Marigold’s neck and yanked tight as the mare shrieked, “Here I am!” And then everything fell into darkness once more.
然后两只蹄子绕在玛丽戈尔德的脖子上，当母马尖叫的时候猛地一拉,"我在这儿!"然后一切再次陷入黑暗。
oooOOOooo
噢噢噢
I shook my head hard as the memory orb ended. I wondered if Pinkie had extracted the memory from Marigold, or if Marigold had gotten the memory out and somehow it’d gotten into the box down here. I sat down and rubbed my temples with my cool metal hooves. Pinkie Pie had suspected Goldenblood; it gave my sense of right and wrong a little corrective lurch. He’d seemed so slick and manipulative… well, really, how could anypony pull off what he had without somepony catching him?
记忆球结束时，我使劲摇了摇头。我想知道平奇是不是从万寿菊那里提取了记忆，或者万寿菊是不是把记忆提取出来，然后不知怎么地放进了这里的盒子里。我坐下来，用我冰凉的金属蹄子摩擦我的太阳穴。小手指派怀疑过Goldenblood，它给了我对是非的判断一个小小的纠正性的突然倾斜。他看起来是那么的狡猾和有控制欲...好吧，说真的，怎么可能一匹小马在没有人抓住他的情况下完成他所拥有的一切呢？
Who was the zebra they’d mentioned, though? Zecora? It sounded like a zebraish name, sure enough. I wished I had somepony I could ask who… then I blinked and laughed softly. Not somepony…
不过，他们提到的斑马是谁？泽科拉？毫无疑问，这听起来像是一个西伯利亚人的名字。我希望我有一匹小马，我可以问谁......然后我眨了眨眼睛，轻轻地笑了。不是什么..。
I opened the little panel on my leg and began to type. Then I leaned back against a worn box and said, “Tin Pony to Watcher. Come in, Watcher. Over.”
我打开腿上的小面板，开始打字。然后我靠在一个破旧的盒子上说:"小锡对守望者说。进来，守望者。完毕。"
There was no response for several seconds. Almost a minute. Then Watcher’s synthetic voice crackled from my PipBuck. “Tin Pony, go into your broadcast menu, look for a little tab marked ‘encryption’, and switch it on.” Funny how much annoyance one could get into that artificial voice. I did as he said, and a second later, “Thanks, Blackjack. Unlike someone I know, I’d rather not transmit to every receiver in Equestria.”
有几秒钟没有回应。快一分钟了。然后，观察者的合成声音从我的皮布克发出劈啪声。"小锡，进入你的广播菜单，找到一个标有'加密'的小标签，然后打开它。"有趣的是，一个人可以用这种虚假的声音来表达多少烦恼。我照他说的做了，过了一会儿,"谢谢你，Blackjack。与我认识的某个人不同，我宁愿不把信息传递给Equestria的每一个接收者。"
“Oh, come on, it’s not that bad,” I said with a roll of my eyes.
"哦，别这样，没那么糟糕,"我转了转眼珠说。
“Champion in bed,” Watcher said at once, making me flush.
"床上的冠军,"守望者立刻说，使我脸红。
“Okay, so maybe it was that bad,” I muttered.
"好吧，也许有那么糟糕,"我喃喃自语。
“Just a little,” Watcher said, then asked, “Let me guess, Glory’s not taking it so well?”
"只有一点点,"观察者说，然后问道,"让我猜猜，晨辉没有很好地接受这个事实?"
“Pretty much,” I said with a sigh. “I really screwed things up.”
"差不多吧,"我叹了口气说。"我真的搞砸了。"
“Oh, I doubt you’re doing worse than LittlePip. Why don’t you catch me up to speed with what’s been happening with you? It’s been a while since we last talked. Glory was getting stuff to help you?”
"哦，我怀疑你做得比小皮普还糟糕。你为什么不告诉我你最近发生了什么？我们上次谈话已经有一段时间了。晨辉就是得到帮助你的东西?"
I settled back and sighed. “Okay. You’ll probably want to get some paper for notes though.” I took a deep breath. “So... it all started with the first time I died...”
我退后一步，叹了口气。"好吧。不过你可能需要一些纸来做笔记。"我深吸了一口气。"所以......一切都是从我第一次死的时候开始的......"
* * *
* * *
“And then she threw me across the room and into the wall. Now she’s not sure and I don’t know what to do and everything’s nuts,” I finished, sighing. My cheeks were all wet from the few times I’d broken down. He’d been a very attentive listener, not interrupting and letting me get everything out. The only time he’d stopped me was when I’d thanked him for his help in Goldenblood’s, asking me to elaborate on any other times I’d gotten messages from him. He hadn’t said anything besides ‘checking something out’, so I simply continued to the very end.
"然后她把我扔到房间的另一边，扔到墙上。现在她不确定，我也不知道该怎么办，一切都乱套了,"我叹了口气说。几次崩溃后，我的脸颊都湿了。他是一个非常专注的倾听者，不会打断我，也不会让我把一切都说出来。他唯一一次阻止我是在我感谢他在《金血王子》中的帮助时，要求我详细说明我收到他信息的其他时间。他除了'检查什么东西'之外什么也没说，所以我只是简单地继续到最后。
The dragon seemed to think that I’d finished. “Wow…” Watcher murmured softly. “And I thought LittlePip had it bad.”
那条龙似乎认为我已经完成了。"哇......"观察者低声说。"我还以为小皮普过得很糟糕呢。"
I sighed, trying to think of how to add the one part I had omitted in my tale: my new connection to the Goddess. Somehow, I couldn’t just spit it out. It shouldn’t have been too hard, but I just couldn’t speak the words. At his comment about LittlePip though, I dropped it. He didn’t need to hear any more of my whining. Really, I was starting to respect her even more than the Stable Dweller. “Eh, she probably has it worse,” I said with a chuckle. “How’s she doing, anyway?” I remembered what Homage had shown me. “Is she… um… okay?”
我叹了口气，试图想出如何在我的故事中加入我遗漏的一部分:我与女神的新联系。不知怎么的，我就是说不出口。这应该不会太难，但我就是说不出话来。不过在他对小匹普的评论中，我放弃了。他不需要再听我的抱怨了。真的，我开始尊重她甚至超过马厩居住者。"呃，她的情况可能更糟,"我笑着说。"不管怎么说，她怎么样了?"我想起了《致敬》向我展示的东西。"她......嗯......还好吗?"
He seemed to guess my line of thought. “I still think she’s fighting the good fight. Arbu was ugly, though. Turned out to be a whole town of cannibals. Willing, intentional cannibals, not your virus variety.” That gave me the shudders. Raiders eating ponies because they were diseased was one thing. But choosing to eat others? “As for right now, I don’t know. She’s probably outside Canterlot. I’m trying to get some eyes to shadow her, but the last bot I found near their location got eaten by a radigator. If my guess is right, though, she’s probably somewhere around the zebra settlement of Glyphmark.”
他似乎猜到了我的想法。"我仍然认为她在进行正义的斗争。不过阿尔布长得很丑。结果发现整个小镇都是食人族。自愿的、有意的食人族，而不是你的病毒品种。"这让我不寒而栗。袭击者吃小马是因为它们有病是一回事。但是选择吃其他人呢？"至于现在，我不知道。她可能在Canterlot外面。我试图找人跟踪她但我在他们附近找到的最后一个机器人被放射鳄吃了。不过，如果我的猜测是正确的，她可能在斑马线附近的Glyphmark。"
Zebras! I’d almost forgotten. “Spike, who was Zecora?”
斑马！我差点忘了。"斯派克，泽科拉是谁?"
“Zecora? How’d you… never mind. I swear, lately it seems like every third band of ragtag misfits is stumbling over all kinds of things forgotten over the last two centuries.” The synthetic voice sighed. “Zecora was a friend of Twilight and the old pony gang. She lived in the Everfree Forest and was a bit of a loner till Twilight and the others got her accepted in Ponyville. During the war, though… well… she was arrested for being a spy and traitor. Twilight went all the way to Princess Luna to get her released, but before she could she was rescued by zebra sympathizers.”
"泽科拉？你怎么...算了。我发誓，最近似乎每三个不适应社会的乌合之众都被过去两个世纪遗忘的各种事物绊倒了。"这个虚构的声音叹了口气。"泽科拉是暮光之城和老马帮的朋友。她住在Everfree森林，一直有点孤独，直到暮光之城和其他人让她在Ponyville被接受。在战争期间，虽然......嗯......她因为间谍和叛徒而被捕。黄昏一路走到卢娜公主身边，让她获释，但是在她能够做到之前，她被斑马同情者救走了
“Did she ever work for the O.I.A.?” I asked as I looked around, wondering where Boo had gotten to.
"她曾经为o.i.a.工作过吗?"我边问边环顾四周，不知道Boo去哪儿了。
“I don’t think so. I know Goldenblood talked to her once about being a liaison with the zebras early on. One of his ‘back channels’. I have no idea if she accepted or not. After she escaped from custody, she disappeared from sight. Then one night, a few months later, she got caught breaking into a high-security area of the M.W.T. Nearly killed a guard before she was intercepted and killed by Applejack’s coltfriend. Applejack never really forgave him,” Watcher said with a sigh. “That was just a short while before everything went… well… really bad.”
"我不这么认为。我知道金布拉德曾经跟她说过，早期要和斑马联络。他的秘密渠道之一。我不知道她是否接受。她从拘留所逃脱后就消失了。几个月后的一个晚上，她在闯入一个高度戒备区域的时候被抓住了，差点杀了一个保安，然后被苹果白兰地的朋友截住并杀了。观察者叹了口气说:"苹果白兰地永远不会真正原谅他。"。"那只是在一切变得......呃......非常糟糕之前的一小段时间。"
So, maybe Zecora had been freed by the O.I.A. and found something incriminating, or maybe something else had gotten him in trouble with Luna. “How are you doing? Anything else interesting happening in Equestria?”
所以，也许泽科拉是被o.i.a.放出来的，并且发现了一些有罪的东西，或者是别的什么东西让他和卢娜有了麻烦。"你好吗？Equestria还发生了什么有趣的事情吗?"
“You have no idea, Blackjack. Everything out west is so tense that it feels like it’s going to snap any second. Raider camps are being hit hard, like Steel Ranger hard but minus the Rangers. There’s somepony with some pretty scary skill cutting us off from the broadcast towers. Red Eye’s recruiting everypony with a gun and a willingness to die for his cause. The Steel Rangers are in a full civil war. Even the alicorns have been pulling back closer to Maripony.”
"你不知道，黑杰克。西部的一切都如此紧张，感觉好像随时都会崩溃。袭击者营地正在遭受严重打击，就像钢铁骑兵，但没有游骑兵。有一匹小马有一些相当可怕的技能把我们和广播塔隔离开来。红眼正在招募每一个带着枪并且愿意为他的事业牺牲的小马。钢铁游骑兵正处于一场全面的内战之中。甚至海角队也在向马里波尼撤退。"
Suddenly I felt the Goddess begin to press on the inside of my mind. I might not have been a real alicorn, but I had the connection to Unity, and she was trying to take over as hard as she could. I gritted my teeth and gulped, fighting the connection. To no avail. Against my will, I choked out the question, “Do you know if LittlePip is planning anything against the Goddess?” Each word spilled
突然，我感觉到女神开始压迫我的内心。我可能不是一个真正的独角兽，但是我和Unity有联系，而她正在尽她最大的努力接管。我咬紧牙关，咽了一口气，试图切断联系。无济于事。违背我的意愿，我哽咽出这个问题,"你知道小皮普是否在策划任何反对女神的事情吗?"每一个字都流露出来
from my lips and I twitched and jerked as I fought against my own body to cut the connection. Push the button Blackjack! Just push... the... button...
从我的嘴唇，我抽搐和抽搐，因为我对我自己的身体争取切断连接。按下黑杰克按钮！只要按下...按钮..。
“Well, you know LittlePip. I’m sure she’s got something planned. Maybe she’s going to try to blackmail the Goddess into attacking Red Eye. Or maybe she’s got something else in mind. I know she was trying to set something up with Gawd.”
"好吧，你知道小皮普。我相信她一定有什么计划。也许她想勒索女神攻击红眼。或者她有别的想法。我知道她是想和上帝搞什么鬼。"
Who? It didn’t matter. The name set off more and more murmurs of speculation in my mind as the pressure in my skull grew. I felt the Goddess twisting my will and wits as the souls of Unity began to whisper to each other in excitement. The Goddess was speculating what it could be. The Goddess was crawling through my mind, looking for any hint of what I knew about what LittlePip might be up to. My memories of my time with her were little more than an inebriated blur. “Well… if you find anything out… let me know…”
谁？没关系。随着我脑袋里的压力越来越大，这个名字在我脑海里引起了越来越多的猜测。我感觉到女神扭曲了我的意志和智慧，合一的灵魂们开始激动地相互低语。女神正在猜测这是什么。女神在我的脑海里爬行，寻找任何我所知道的关于小皮普可能会做什么的线索。我对于和她在一起的时光的记忆几乎是一片模糊。"好吧......如果你有什么发现......告诉我......"
“Sure. Good luck, Blackjack. I’ll let you know as soon as I can.” I struggled to warn him, but I was helpless. No matter how hard I fought to keep it open now, I couldn’t stop myself from severing the connection.
"当然。祝你好运黑杰克。我会尽快告诉你的。"我挣扎着警告他，但我无能为力。无论我现在多么努力地想让它保持开放，我都无法阻止自己切断这种联系。
As soon as it was broken I grabbed a shelf and smacked my head hard against the metal beam. “Get! Out!” I yelled, trying to think of how to reconnect with him. But I stared at the screen and was struck with the horrifying realization that the knowledge of how to connect to Spike’s cave was lost. Was there a button to push, or... what had I done? I remembered the conversation, but how to get in touch again? I wanted to shake as tears ran down my cheeks. “How… Lacunae said you couldn’t control me because of the Enervation.”
它一破，我就抓起一个架子，把头狠狠地撞在金属横梁上。"滚！出去!"我大叫着，试图想办法和他重新取得联系。但是我盯着屏幕，惊恐地意识到如何连接到斯派克的洞穴的知识丢失了。有没有什么按钮可以按，或者......我做了什么？我记得那次谈话，但是怎样才能再联系上呢？当泪水顺着我的脸颊流下时，我真想发抖。"怎么......Lacunae说你无法控制我是因为受到了伤害。"
The Goddess laughed softly, cruelly. It was infinitely more intimate and terrifying than the bold shouts and third person references. “Oh, this isn’t control. Not yet. This is just finding ways to push through the interference. I’ll chip off a little bit here and a little bit there till eventually, there won’t be much difference between you and a normal vessel.”
女神轻轻地、残酷地笑了起来。比起那些大喊大叫和第三人称的提法，这个场景更加亲密和恐怖。"哦，这不是控制。还没有。这只是想办法克服干扰。我会在这里削一点，在那里削一点，直到最后，你和一般的血管没有多大区别。"
Had Lacunae lied, or had the Goddess forced her to deceive me? I wouldn’t give the Goddess the satisfaction of even contemplating the other. I wrestled with her as I tried to get her out, but it was like pushing against a wave of mud. No matter how I mentally shoved, she was getting in. There wasn’t a lot of Enervation around Chapel, and the Goddess seemed to be taking the opportunity to creep in
是拉库尼撒了谎，还是女神强迫她欺骗了我？我甚至不会让女神满足于思考另一个世界。我努力想把她弄出来，但这就像是在推着一股泥浪。不管我在精神上怎么努力，她还是进来了。教堂周围并没有太多的能量，而女神似乎正在抓住这个机会悄悄潜入
as deep as she could, searching for memories and thoughts.
尽可能的深入，寻找记忆和思想。
And secrets. Secrets that I couldn’t dare let her know about. If she knew about... no, don’t think of it. But I was! I couldn’t not. I thought about the necklaces and the crown thingy and the maneframe and... no! I could feel her searching. Hunting. Trying to find what I tried so hard to bury in my mind. Don’t think about it! Don’t!
还有秘密。我不敢让她知道的秘密。如果她知道...不，别想了。但我确实是！我做不到。我想到了项链，皇冠什么的...不！我能感觉到她在寻找。狩猎。试图找到我努力想要埋藏在心中的东西。别想了！不要！
But I did. I bashed my head against the floor again and again, trying to knock myself out. My augmented body resisted. Worse, it was healing the trauma to my head! If I was going to prevent her from knowing everything, I’d have to remove it the only sure way I knew how. I struggled to levitate out the pistol, feeling tears run down my cheek. My aim struggled. I had to keep her from knowing. I had to… I’m sorry Glory, but if she found out about… “Gardens of Equestria?” the Goddess purred in my ear, the gun falling from my magical grasp. “Yes. I know about it. That interesting thought on Flux and Spike and there it is. A little treasure just lying there to be seen. She’s beside herself, at the moment, but once my business with the other annoyance is done and Red Eye put in his place, I think I’ll have to reunite Twilight with her assistant.”
但我做到了。我的头一次又一次地撞在地板上，试图把自己撞晕过去。我增强的身体抵抗住了。更糟糕的是，它治愈了我头部的创伤！如果我要阻止她知道一切，我必须用我知道的唯一可靠的方法移除它。我挣扎着想把手枪举起来，感觉眼泪顺着我的脸颊流了下来。我的瞄准很吃力。我不能让她知道。我不得不...我很抱歉晨辉，但是如果她发现了..."小马国的花园?"女神在我耳边低吟，枪从我魔法般的手中落下。"是的。我知道。关于弗拉克斯和斯派克的有趣想法就是这样。一个小小的宝藏就躺在那里等着被发现。此时此刻，她已经失去了理智，但是一旦我解决了另一个麻烦，红眼取代了他的位置，我想我就得让暮光之城和她的助手团聚了。"
I stared out into empty space, feeling defiled. The Goddess just laughed in glee as the horror crept through me. “I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But somepony is going to kill you very soon,” I whispered aloud, sounding like a prayer.
我凝视着空旷的空间，觉得自己被玷污了。当恐惧悄悄地穿过我身体时，女神只是高兴地笑了起来。"我不知道该怎么做。我不知道什么时候。但是有些小马很快就会杀了你,"我大声低语，听起来像是在祈祷。
The laughter stopped, but the Goddess still chortled in her amusement. “Oh, really? I assume you’re referring to LittlePip? Yes, I’m sure she’ll try something heroic at the most inopportune moment. You don’t know what, but you have guesses: sneaking something into the base. Unknown allies. Using Rarity’s zebra magic... might have to kill her just to be safe before she gets here. Maybe… by you.” There was a yank and for an instant I was filled with an overwhelming urge to kill LittlePip, but I barely fought it off, focusing on killing the Goddess instead. It seemed to work a little. “If you could contact her, you’d suggest using those silver rings against me. We’ll just take that.” And with another yank, I felt something go. Something about rings and unity.
笑声停止了，但是女神仍然咯咯地笑着。"哦，真的吗？我猜你指的是小匹普？是的，我肯定她会在最不合时宜的时候尝试一些英雄行为。你不知道是什么，但你可以猜测:偷偷把什么东西带进基地。未知盟友。使用罕有的斑马魔法...可能必须杀死她只是为了安全在她到达这里之前。也许......是你。"有一个美国佬，有那么一瞬间，我充满了杀死小皮普的强烈冲动，但我几乎没有反抗，而是专注于杀死女神。看起来有点效果。"如果你能联系到她，你就会建议用那些银戒指来对付我。我们就买这个吧。"再一次猛拉，我感觉到什么东西掉了下去。关于环和统一的东西。
Sweet Celestia, shoot me… please…
亲爱的塞莱斯蒂亚，射我吧......求你了.....。
“Oh no, Blackjack. No killing yourself. No telling anypony either. Neither you
"哦，不，黑杰克。不要自杀。也不能告诉任何小马。你也是
nor that garbage bin you call a friend,” the Goddess hissed softly in her malice. “Nopony has ever insulted me the way you have. Nopony would dare. Well, now you’re mine. I’m going to tear off itty bitty little pieces of you till there’s nothing left but a shell. Then I’ll have that garbage bin bring you back for a real transformation to a proper shape. And I’ll make sure that all the Wasteland sees what I’m going to turn you into, so none ever dare to challenge me again.”
也不是那个你称之为朋友的垃圾桶,"女神怀着恶意轻声嘶叫着。"小马从来没有像你这样侮辱过我。小马不敢。现在你是我的了。我要把你撕成碎片，直到只剩下一个贝壳。然后我会让那个垃圾桶把你带回来，让你真正变成一个合适的形状。我要让整个荒原都看到我要把你变成什么样子，这样就再也没有人敢挑战我了。"
I didn’t think of anything except that prayer over and over again. Boo came over and butted my shoulder repeatedly before curling up beside me. All I could do was think and wait for the Goddess to turn her attention elsewhere.
除了一遍又一遍的祈祷，我什么也没想。布走过来，不停地用头撞我的肩膀，然后蜷缩在我身边。我所能做的就是思考和等待女神把她的注意力转移到别处。
Somepony… anypony… help me…
有人...有人...帮帮我..。
* * *
* * *
I spent the better part of an hour sitting there in the basement, fighting against a Goddess who for all I knew had moved on to bigger and better things. Boo snoozed beside me, bored, before the blank had finally had enough and started butting me towards the stairs. I’d fought giant monster ghouls and other creatures, but I was helpless against a little white pony who stubbornly bumped me to my hooves and then up the stairs. Once I started moving, I could keep going.
我花了大半个小时的时间坐在地下室里，与一位女神作斗争，据我所知，她已经转移到更大更好的事情上去了。布在我身边打了个盹，觉得很无聊，还没等那张空白纸够了，就开始用头撞向楼梯。我和巨大的怪物食尸鬼和其他生物搏斗过，但是我对一匹白色的小马毫无办法，它顽固地撞到我的蹄子上，然后爬上楼梯。一旦我开始行动，我就可以继续前进。
I just couldn’t stop… but I could run in place till my friends were ready to go. I kept trying to think of ways to tell my friends what had happened to me, to let Spike know I couldn’t be trusted. But I couldn’t. Something inside my brain had been tweaked. No, I wasn’t a puppet yet, but the Goddess was tying strings to me all the same. P-21 and Scotch Tape were both gone. Off doing her project, I supposed.
我就是停不下来...但我可以一直跑到我的朋友们准备好离开为止。我一直在想办法告诉我的朋友们我的遭遇，让斯派克知道我不可信。但我做不到。我脑子里的某些东西被扭曲了。不，我还不是一个木偶，但是女神仍然在给我系绳子。P-21和透明胶带都不见了。我想她是去做她的项目了。
In the living room I returned to going about the simple motions of cleaning and did everything I could to not think about it. Not the Goddess, not Glory, not EC-1101, not zebra balefire bombs… nothing. I cleaned up like I’d never cleaned before; Mom would have been shocked and amazed. Boo went right to the cupboard; I couldn’t find any snack cakes, but I did come across some Sugar Apple Bombs cereal. I filled a bowl for her, then sucked on a ruby as I worked.
在起居室里，我又开始做一些简单的清洁工作，竭尽全力不去想它。不是女神，不是晨辉，不是EC-1101，不是斑马火炸弹...什么都不是。我清理干净，就像我以前从来没有清理过一样;妈妈会感到震惊和惊讶。布径直走向食品柜，我找不到任何零食蛋糕，但我确实发现了一些糖苹果炸弹麦片。我给她盛了一碗，然后一边工作一边吮吸着一颗红宝石。
Mom. I never really appreciated her as head of security. Had she felt the same way, burdened down by so many things she couldn’t control in 99? The Overmare, Rivets, her duties, and me… How had she managed? Had she felt the
妈妈。作为安全主管，我从未真正感激过她。她是否也有同样的感受，被许多她无法控制的事情压得喘不过气来？海上母马，铆钉，她的职责，和我...她是怎么做到的？她有没有感觉到
same see-sawing sensation inside her that lurched from depression to panic and back to depression? I soaked a washrag in the sink and began to scrub the counters, looking at the white stars on the counter tops and smiling a little. Crying a little too.
同样的内心感受，从沮丧到恐慌，再到沮丧？我把一块抹布浸在水槽里，开始擦洗柜台，看着柜台上的白色星星，微笑着。也有点哭。
“Blackjack?” Glory said softly behind me. I didn’t face her. I couldn’t. I just hung my head a little. The stuff I could speak about, I couldn’t bring myself to say, and the stuff I needed to warn her about, I couldn’t speak. So I cried and moved the rag in slow little circles like I was determined to get that one tile spotless because it was better than anything else I could do.
"黑杰克?"格洛里在我身后轻声说。我没有面对她。我做不到。我只是稍微低了一下头。我可以说的事情，我不能让自己说，我需要警告她的事情，我不能说。于是我哭了起来，慢慢地把那块抹布挪了挪，好像我下定决心要把那块瓷砖擦得一尘不染，因为它比我能做的任何事情都要好。
“What are you doing, Blackjack?” she asked from beside me. I glanced at her bloodshot eyes; their lids were swollen from crying.
"你在干什么，黑杰克?"她在我旁边问道。我瞥了她布满血丝的眼睛一眼，眼睑因为哭泣而肿胀。
“Cleaning,” I said lamely as I looked away.
"打扫,"我一瘸一拐地说，同时把目光移开。
She reached down and stopped my hoof with her own. I saw then that I’d washed a perfectly round circle in the tile while missing the rest of the mess. “Let me help you,” she said simply, then tied her rag over her rainbow mane and starting to clean as well. We didn’t talk. I could barely breathe. Together, we straightened up every little thing there was to fix… except each other.
她弯下腰，用自己的蹄子挡住了我的蹄子。然后我发现我在瓷砖上洗了一个完美的圆圈，而其余的部分没有洗掉。"让我来帮你,"她简单地说，然后把她的头巾系在彩虹色的鬃毛上，开始打扫。我们没有说话。我几乎无法呼吸。我们一起解决了所有需要解决的小问题......除了彼此。
I wanted to talk, but I didn’t. I wanted to tell her what I’d just done, but I couldn’t. I wanted her to end me, but she wouldn’t. And so finally I struck a match from an old matchbox and lit the papers in the fireplace.
我想谈谈，但我没有。我想告诉她我刚才做了什么，但我做不到。我想让她结束我，但她不愿意。最后，我从一个旧火柴盒里划了根火柴，点燃了壁炉里的纸。
Then her hooves reached around me. For a moment I tensed, ready for another throw. But it didn’t come… part of me wished it would. I hung my head and said in a wet little filly’s voice, “I’m not going to run. I’m not. I’m not…”
然后她的蹄子伸向我。我紧张了一会儿，准备再扔一次。但是它并没有出现......我有点希望它会出现。我低下头，用湿漉漉的小母马的声音说:"我不会跑的。我没有。我不是......"
That was as much as I could get out, but it was enough as she held me and I fell apart again in her embrace. “Shhh… I know… I know…” I might have gone through hell itself, but that didn’t mean I was beyond needing a simple, sincere hug.
这是我所能做的最大的努力，但是这已经足够了，因为她抱着我，我又在她的怀抱里崩溃了。"嘘......我知道......我知道......"我可能经历了地狱本身，但这并不意味着我需要一个简单的，真诚的拥抱。
* * *
* * *
Side by side we walked together back towards Chapel. I didn’t ask why she’d come back to me. I wasn’t even sure if she forgave me for what I’d done. All that mattered was that we were together, even if I was the last person in
我们肩并肩地走回教堂。我没有问她为什么回到我身边。我甚至不确定她是否原谅了我的所作所为。重要的是我们在一起，即使我是最后一个进来的人
Equestria anypony should possibly be with. The afternoon weather was the Hoof’s trademark drizzle. We trotted through the rain towards the budding town below, and I filled Glory in on what had happened to Rampage. Glory’d covered up in a blanket to obscure her famous appearance, and pretty soon she resembled a drowned ghost. Boo folded her ears as she trotted behind us, the pale blank annoyed by the rain dripping inside them.
任何小马都可能与之相伴。下午的天气是霍夫招牌式的毛毛细雨。我们穿过雨水奔向下面正在萌芽的小镇，我把发生在狂暴身上的事告诉了晨辉。为了掩盖她那著名的外表，晨辉用一条毯子盖住了，很快她就像一个溺死的鬼魂。布一边在我们身后小跑一边捂着耳朵，灰白的空白被雨水滴进耳朵里弄得很烦恼。
“So, does this mean that P-21 is it now?” Glory asked as the wet grass clung to her in passing.
"那么，这是否意味着现在是P-21了?"当湿草擦身而过，紧紧抱住她时，晨辉问道。
“It?”
"它?"
“Is he the one with the fewest unresolved psychological issues? The one that we go to for help?” she asked with a wan smile. “Please say yes. I’d really like somepony else to be mommy for a while.” And though she said it as if joking, I could pick up the sincere tension in her voice.
"他是那个心理问题最少悬而未决的人吗？那个我们去寻求帮助的人?"她带着苍白的微笑问道。"请答应吧。我真的很想让别的小马做一阵子妈妈。"尽管她说得好像在开玩笑，我还是能从她的声音中感受到真诚的紧张。
I rubbed my chin. “I don’t know. I always thought of Lacunae as the shoulder to sob on,” I said wearily as we walked through the rain. “P-21 still needs to get his strength back. Then we can lean on him some more.” I glanced at her and gritted my teeth a moment before daring to ask, “What about… us?”
我抚摸着下巴。"我不知道。我总是把空隙当作可以哭泣的肩膀,"我们在雨中漫步时，我疲倦地说。"P-21还需要恢复体力。这样我们就可以更多地依靠他了。"我瞥了她一眼，咬了咬牙，然后问道:"我们......怎么样?"
Glory pulled her wet sheet over her face so all I could see was her cyan muzzle. “I don’t know, Blackjack. I know you need all the friends you can get. I know what you’re doing is important. I just don’t know if… if I can be okay with it.” She glanced at me. “Was Stable 99 really…”
晨辉拉着她的湿被单盖在她的脸上，所以我能看到的只有她青绿色的口吻。"我不知道，黑杰克。我知道你需要尽可能多的朋友。我知道你在做什么很重要。我只是不知道自己是否能接受。"她瞥了我一眼。"稳定的99真的......"
I shrugged. “I lived there my whole life, so I have no idea. Ponies not having sex except with one… and only one… partner just seems… well… stupid.” I winced as I saw her frown. “Not that it is. Just, that’s how it seems. I mean, don’t you ever look at a mare and want to do stuff with her?”
我耸了耸肩。"我在那里住了一辈子，所以我也不知道。小马只和一个人做爱......而且只有一个......伴侣，这看起来......嗯......很愚蠢。"当我看到她皱眉头时，我皱起了眉头。"不是这样的。只是，看起来是这样。我的意思是，难道你从来没有看着一匹母马，想和她做点什么吗?"
Glory bit her lower lip a moment, then said softly, “Maybe. There was Caprice…”
晨辉咬了她的下唇一会儿，然后轻轻地说:"也许吧。还有任性......"
“There was?” I blinked in surprise, and she looked at me, the raindrops running along the edge of the fabric as she smiled a little. “I thought you hated her.”
"有吗?"我惊讶地眨了眨眼，她看着我，雨滴沿着织物边缘流动，她微微一笑。"我以为你讨厌她。"
“I envied her, Blackjack. There’s a difference.” She sighed and went on, “I have to admit… she is pretty cute. And the way you and her just… did it. Had fun
"我羡慕她，Blackjack。这是有区别的。"她叹了口气，接着说:"我不得不承认......她确实很可爱。你和她的方式就是...做到了。玩得很开心
even when you were total strangers… well, I was a little bit jealous. The Enclave is very strict on heterosexual relationships and reproduction. You just… don’t… do that. What you two did.” She groaned a little. “Ugh, I can’t even say it!”
即使当你们完全是陌生人的时候...我还是有点嫉妒。昂科雷对异性关系和生殖有着非常严格的规定。你只是...不要...那样做。你们两个所做的。"她呻吟了一会儿。"啊，我都说不出口了!"
“You don’t have to,” I replied, smiling a little.
"你不必这样,"我回答，微笑着说。
She stomped her hoof in the wet grass. “You don’t understand. I want to. That’s what drives me nuts. My sister could just ‘do it’. You and Caprice could. So why do I get all hung up on what I want? Why can’t I just… ugh…” She slumped. “Just forget about it.”
她在湿漉漉的草地上跺着蹄子。"你不明白。我想。这就是让我抓狂的地方。我的妹妹可以做到这一点。你和Caprice可以。那么为什么我总是纠结于我想要什么呢？为什么我不能......"她垂头丧气地说。"忘了它吧。"
I reached over and patted her shoulder. “What do you want, Glory?”
我伸手拍了拍她的肩膀。"你想要什么，晨辉?"
She frowned as she pulled the sheet off her face and looked away, chewing on her bottom lip. Finally she sighed and said, “Just a thousand different things, and half of them contradict. Mostly, I want to feel like I’m in charge of things. Like what I want matters. Like… I want to be more like Dusk. Confident I can actually do things. That I matter.”
她皱着眉头，把床单从脸上揭下来，转过脸去，咬着下嘴唇。最后，她叹了口气，说:"就是一千种不同的东西，其中一半是相互矛盾的。最重要的是，我想让自己觉得自己在掌控一切。比如我想要的东西很重要。就像...我想变得更像黄昏。自信我可以做一些事情。我很重要。"
“You matter. You matter the world to me,” I told her frankly.
"你很重要。你是我的一切,"我坦率地告诉她。
“I know. And I know you mean that,” Glory said with a sad smile. “I just don’t know if I can stand mattering to you and being your very special somepony at the same time.” And with that she pulled the sheet back over her head. Then she sighed and said, in a more annoyed tone, “You know, it’s times like this I can understand surface ponies’ annoyance with keeping the skies covered."
"我知道。我知道你是认真的,"晨辉带着悲伤的微笑说。"我只是不知道自己是否能够在与你关系密切的同时，成为你非常特别的一匹小马。"说着，她把被单拉回头上。然后她叹了口气，用一种更加恼怒的语气说:"你知道，在这种时候，我能理解表面上的小马为了遮住天空而感到的烦恼。"
As if sensing her ire, the heavens replied. Soon it was pouring such buckets that we nearly stumbled into Chapel’s minefield. We made the detour to the right trying to find our way to the road. We passed the ruined church, and I paused as I looked down the road toward the bridge. I saw a lone pale pony standing in the rain, staring at the swollen, churning river.
天堂似乎感觉到了她的愤怒。不久，倾盆大雨几乎把我们绊进了查普尔的雷区。我们绕道向右拐，试图找到通往公路的路。我们经过那座被毁坏了的教堂，我停了下来，顺着路向那座桥望去。我看见一匹苍白的小马孤零零地站在雨中，凝视着汹涌翻腾的河水。
“Rampage?” Glory called out.
"横冲直撞?"晨辉在呼唤。
Slowly, we approached Rampage, the striped earth pony standing as still as a blank. She’d stashed her armor somewhere. Her pale pink eyes looked longingly into the foaming brown water. “It really hurts, you know,” Rampage said as she looked down. “Dying, I mean. Blackjack knows. Drowning’s not that bad. I once tied half a skywagon to me and jumped off the Hoofington Bridge over by the
慢慢地，我们接近了狂暴，那匹身上带有条纹的矮种马静静地站在那里，像一片空白。她把她的盔甲藏起来了。她那双淡粉色的眼睛渴望地望着起泡的棕色水面。"真的很疼，你知道的,"朗格低下头说。"我的意思是，快死了。黑杰克知道。溺水没那么糟糕。有一次，我给自己系了一半的篷车，然后从马路边的胡芬顿桥上跳下去
arena. Spent two whole years down there. Really boring. Then a river serpent gobbled me up and shat me out. I think you can relate, can’t you, Blackjack?”
竞技场。在那儿呆了整整两年。真的很无聊。然后一条河蛇把我吞了下去，把我拉了出来。我想你能理解，对吧，黑杰克?"
“Yeah,” I said as I joined her at the rail. “Did it make you feel better?”
"是的,"我说，我加入了她的栏杆。"这让你感觉好些了吗?"
“No,” she answered in a low hollow voice I could barely hear over the churning water and hissing rain. “Down there, you just feel… trapped. Then bored. You want to live, but you can’t. Time gets funny. I know it was two years from ponies asking where I’d disappeared to, but it felt somewhere between a few days and a thousand years. Sometimes both.” She looked over at me. “I really wish that you’d used that super gun on me, Blackjack. Before I found out about Eternity.”
"没有,"她用低沉而空洞的声音回答，我几乎听不到翻腾的水和嘶嘶作响的雨声。"在那里，你只是觉得......被困住了。然后就无聊了。你想活下去，但你不能。时间变得有趣。我知道两年来小马一直在问我消失到哪里去了，但我总觉得是在几天到一千年之间。有时两者都有。"她看着我。"我真希望你用那把超级枪对付我，Blackjack。在我发现永恒之前。"
“You’re a real pony, Rampage,” Glory said as she moved beside her on her other side.
"你是一匹真正的小马，狂暴,"格洛里边说边从另一边走到她身边。
“No,” she said as she stepped away and pointed her hoofclaw at the pegasus. “You’re a real pony, Glory. And so’re Blackjack, P-21, and Scotch Tape. You had lives. Family that loved you. Childhoods. You were actually people!”
"不,"她一边说，一边走开，用蹄爪指着飞马。"你是一匹真正的小马，晨辉。还有黑杰克，P-21和透明胶带。你们有自己的生活。爱你的家人。童年。你们是真正的人!"
She started to pace. “I don’t know if my childhood was growing up as a filly in Ponyville with a crush on Apple Bloom, living as a zebra tribal near Shattered Hoof Ridge, being beaten by my mother in a filthy apartment in Manehattan, or growing up on a military base with a mare who always had better things to do than be my mother! I’m pretty sure now the answer is really ‘none of the above’! I have more in common with Boo than any of you!” Her shouts made Boo flinch back and hide behind me.
她开始踱步。"我不知道我的童年是否是在Ponyville的一匹小母马中长大，迷恋苹果布鲁姆，在破蹄岭附近的斑马部落中生活，在Manehattan的一间肮脏的公寓中被我母亲殴打，或者在一个军事基地中和一匹总是有比做我母亲更好的事情要做的母马一起长大！我非常确定现在的答案是'以上都不是'！我和阿布的共同点比你们任何人都多!"她的喊叫声使得阿布退缩到我身后躲起来。
“Yeah. It sucks,” I said as I moved in front of her. “Welcome to Hoofington! Glory’s lost her family and her own body. P-21 went through shit. Scotch Tape lost her home. I get it. But we’re still your friends, so what does it matter?”
"是的。真糟糕,"我一边说一边走到她面前。"欢迎来到Hoofington！晨辉失去了她的家庭和她自己的身体。P-21的情况很糟糕。透明胶带失去了她的家。我明白了。但我们还是你的朋友，这有什么关系呢?"
“Because I’m not real!” she yelled back at me. “You at least went through things that made you what you are, Blackjack. You caused some of it… chose some of it… and got dealt some of it.” She gritted her teeth and pressed her hooves to her head. “I’m losing my fucking mind here, Blackjack. I want… I’ve got a dozen different things I want to do, and I have no idea which one is me! Or if any of them are me.
"因为我不是真实的!"她也对我大吼大叫。"你至少经历了一些让你成为现在这个样子的事情，Blackjack。有些是你造成的，有些是你选择的，有些是你处理的。"她咬紧牙关，把蹄子抵在头上。"我他妈快疯了，黑杰克。我想...我有一打不同的事情要做，但我不知道哪一个是我！或者他们中的任何一个是我。
“And I just want it to stop!” she yelled as she tore away and ran as fast as she
"我只想让它停下来!"她边跑边喊，跟她一样快
could down the bridge towards the Core. I cursed, turning to try and catch her. I reached out with my mouth, bit hard on her tail, and was dragged further along behind her. My four metal hooves scraped grooves in the cracked asphalt as the razorwire softened between my teeth.
可以从桥上下去到核心区。我咒骂着，转身试图抓住她。我用嘴伸出手，用力咬住她的尾巴，然后被她拖得更远。我的四只金属蹄子在破裂的沥青路面上擦出了凹槽，因为剃须刀的铁丝在我的牙齿间变软了。
“Blackjack!” Glory cried as she darted around and tackled me from the side mere seconds before Rampage crossed the ‘Mercy’ painted across the bridge. The beam flashed once and instantly transformed her into a glowing red statue of herself before she collapsed in a heap. Glory lay atop me in the rain, panting as the downpour washed away the muddy gray ashes. Then the talisman flashed, and Rampage’s body rebuilt itself into that of a filly. Her skin hadn’t even fully reformed before she started crawling towards the Core. The beam atop the city gate flashed again, and again she collapsed into a smaller heap.
"黑杰克!"晨辉哭了起来，她飞奔过去，在横冲直撞穿过画在桥上的"仁慈"之前的几秒钟，从侧面抓住了我。光束一闪，立刻把她变成了一个发光的自己的红色雕像，然后她就瘫倒在地。晨辉在雨中躺在我的身上，喘息着，倾盆大雨冲走了泥泞的灰烬。然后护身符闪烁起来，狂暴的身体重新变成了一匹小母马。她的皮肤甚至还没有完全恢复，就开始向核心爬行。城门顶上的横梁再次闪烁起来，她又一次瘫倒在一个更小的堆上。
“Stop!” I shouted as she reformed a third time, crawling on her regenerating limbs, her unset flesh sticking and stretching with each step. My magic seized her and pulled her into my grasp like a half-born filly. She thrashed against my embrace as the rain hissed all around me. Finally her striped hide formed and she shook in my grasp, crying and screaming as she struggled to find annihilation. “Please. Rampage.”
"住手!"当她第三次改过自新的时候，我大声喊道，在她再生的四肢上爬行，每走一步她未变形的肉都粘在一起，伸展开来。我的魔法抓住了她，把她像半出生的小母马一样拉入我的手中。当雨水在我周围嘶嘶作响时，她在我的怀抱里扑腾着。最后，她身上的条纹隐藏了起来，她在我的抓握中颤抖着，哭喊着，尖叫着，挣扎着寻找被消灭的生命。"求你了。狂暴。"
I did the only thing I could think of; I held her in my hooves and began to rock. Glory sat beside me, humming softly in the rain as Rampage slowly stilled. She broke down in terrible, heartbroken little sobs as she curled against me and let out some of the pain.
我做了我唯一能想到的事情，我把她放在我的蹄子里，开始摇摆。晨辉坐在我旁边，在雨中轻轻地哼着歌，暴怒慢慢地平息下来。当她蜷缩在我身边，释放出一些疼痛时，她突然爆发出可怕的、心碎的小哭声。
Slowly, eventually, she stopped thrashing. She curled up in my arms and pressed her face to my chest. I smiled softly and stroked her mane as the three of us sat together in the rain. I couldn’t do anything for myself or Glory, but I would do something for her. Something.
慢慢地，最终，她停止了抽打。她蜷缩在我的怀里，把脸紧贴在我的胸前。我温柔地微笑着，抚摸着她的鬃毛，我们三个人一起坐在雨中。我不能为自己或者晨辉做任何事情，但是我会为她做些事情。一些东西。
* * *
* * *
“So, let me get this straight, Blackjack. You want me to go into the memories of a pony bound in a soul talisman, extract them, and put them into the recollector so that Rampage can discover she is more than the product of the talisman?” Lacunae asked as we all sat on the porch of Sekashi’s house. The rain had put a damper on the frantic construction, but now the sewage ditch was overflowing and vomiting its contents all over the road while the hasty additions swayed and
"那么，我就直说了吧，黑杰克。你要我进入一匹被灵魂护身符束缚的小马的记忆中，把它们提取出来，放进回忆录里，这样狂暴就会发现她不仅仅是灵魂护身符的产物?"当我们都坐在Sekashi家的门廊上时，Lacunae问道。雨水阻碍了这一片混乱的建筑，但是现在污水沟已经溢出来，里面的东西吐得满路都是，而匆忙添加的东西也摇摇晃晃
groaned ominously in the rain. Some of the fillies and colts were still trying to get them nailed down… tied down… or whatever they were trying to do.
在雨中发出不祥的呻吟。一些小雌马和小马还在试图把它们钉死......绑起来......或者做它们想做的任何事。
“That’s about it,” I told the alicorn, who had found another black dress to hide her wings. I didn’t ask where, but I assumed Charity had been involved. Thus dressed, she avoided most of the angry looks from the workponies. I supposed when your race is viewed as monsters all across Equestria, it was inevitable that you would get some hard glances by people from elsewhere in the Wasteland. “I want you to find a memory or something that’s from a pony that’s not shoved in that talisman.”
"差不多就是这样,"我告诉阿里康，她找到了另一件黑色连衣裙来遮住翅膀。我没有问在哪里，但是我猜想Charity也参与了。穿着这样的衣服，她避免了工作人员大多数愤怒的表情。我认为当你的种族被视为整个Equestria的怪物时，你不可避免地会遭到来自荒原其他地方的人们的冷眼。"我希望你能找到一段记忆，或者一些没有塞进护身符的小马身上的东西。"
Lacunae knelt, closing her eyes as if in meditation. “There is a problem with your plan, Blackjack. I can’t extract memories.”
空隙跪了下来，闭上眼睛，好像在冥想。"你的计划有问题，黑杰克。我无法提取记忆。"
I blinked, frowning a little. “Excuse me?”
我眨了眨眼，皱了一下眉头。"你说什么?"
“I cannot perform the telepathic magic your plan requires. I am sorry. The Goddess refuses to grant me such abilities.” Out of spite, I guessed. Rampage and Majina were in the house, where the little zebra talked a mile a minute. It seemed to be working; Rampage had gone from sulking and depressed to looking baffled as she tried to follow a tale involving a mouse, three Fancy Buck Cakes, and a carton of milk. While I knew the Angel was inside the small red striped filly, I hoped she couldn’t do anything severe to the zebra filly before we could separate them. “I’m sorry, Blackjack.”
"我不能使用你的计划所要求的心灵感应魔法。对不起。女神拒绝给我这样的能力。"我猜是出于怨恨。狂暴和马吉娜在房子里，那只小斑马每分钟说一英里话。她试图追踪一个关于一只老鼠、三块花式巴克蛋糕和一盒牛奶的故事，狂暴从生气、沮丧变成了困惑。虽然我知道天使在小红条纹小母马的肚子里，但我希望在我们把它们分开之前，她不要对斑马小母马做出什么严重的事情。"对不起，黑杰克。"
I frowned and Glory patted my shoulder. “At least you thought of something.” Two workers walked by next to the ditch, and she pulled the sheet further over her features, but they were more focused on getting out of the rain.
我皱了皱眉头，晨辉拍了拍我的肩膀。"至少你想到了一些事情。"两个工人从水沟旁边走过，她把被单拉得更远，盖住自己的脸，但他们更专注于避雨。
“No,” I said firmly as I stood up. “It’s time I gave back to her. She’s been following me for weeks; she’s suffered for me, and the only help she wants I can’t give her.” There was just the question of how. “Remember in the Collegiate when I went into your mind to find you?” I asked as I pointed a hoof at Lacunae. “Why can’t I try the same with her?”
"不,"我坚定地站起来说。"是时候还给她了。她已经跟踪我好几个星期了，她为我受苦，她唯一想要的帮助，我却不能给她。"现在的问题是怎么做到的。"还记得在大学里，我走进你的脑海去找你吗?"我一边问，一边用蹄子指着空隙。"为什么我不能对她也这么做呢?"
“Doing what you propose is extremely risky. You could contaminate your own psyche with the memories and personalities inside Rampage. You might put Blackjack inside her. You could forget some critical thought processes, like respiration,” Lacunae said with clear concern.
"按照你的建议行事是极其危险的。你可以用狂暴中的记忆和个性来污染你自己的心灵。你可以把Blackjack放进去。你可能会忘记一些批判性的思维过程，比如呼吸,"拉库纳明确关切地说。
I actually laughed at that. “Lacunae, I’ve got a talisman regulating my breathing now. Heck, you could blow my head off and my body would probably keep living for a few days afterward. And I already have Psalm in my head. And you-know-who is in there too.” I paced a little. “I’ve got the Dealer passing by on a semi-regular basis. Really, how much worse could it be?” Considering what I’d done to Boing, taking the Angel from Rampage wouldn’t be much of a change for me.
事实上，我对此感到好笑。"Lacunae，我现在有一个护身符来调节我的呼吸。见鬼，你可以打爆我的头，然后我的身体可能会活上几天。我脑子里已经有圣歌了。那个人也在里面。"我稍微踱了一下步。"我已经让经销商半定期地路过了。说真的，还能有多糟糕?"考虑到我对波音的所作所为，把天使从暴怒中带走对我来说不会有太大的改变。
Sekashi watched my lips with concern before she smiled and said, “You know. I know a story about a funny zebra back in the homelands. There was a good male, wealthy and powerful and generous. One day he went for a walk and saw many poor zebras in the market. What to do? So he gave them all the money in his purse and they were quite happy. He continued on his walk, and he found many hungry zebras living on the edge of his village, so he gave them his lunch and continued on his way. Soon it began to rain, and he came across some wet and weary travelers along his way. And so he gave them his cloak as well.
Sekashi关切地看着我的嘴唇，然后微笑着说:"你知道的。我知道一个故事，关于家乡的一只有趣的斑马。有一个好男人，富有，有权有势，慷慨大方。一天，他去散步，在市场上看到许多可怜的斑马。怎么办？于是他把钱包里所有的钱都给了他们，他们都很高兴。他继续他的行走，他发现许多饥饿的斑马生活在他的村庄的边缘，所以他给他们他的午餐和继续他的方式。不久，天开始下起雨来，他在路上遇到了一些湿漉漉、疲惫不堪的旅行者。于是他把自己的披风也给了他们。
“But soon this funny zebra was alone, and hungry, and wet. He found a cave in the woods. There in the cave he found a beautiful zebra from a faraway village asleep in the bottom of a cold pool. And because he was good, he dove in and swam deeper and deeper. And thus, he drowned. When he died, there was nopony to help the poor, the hungry, or the weary. And so, they died too.” She finished with a blissful smile, hooves folded in her lap.
"但是很快这只有趣的斑马就独自一人了，饥肠辘辘，浑身湿透。他在树林里发现了一个山洞。在那个山洞里，他发现了一只美丽的斑马，它来自遥远的村庄，在一个冷水池的池底睡着了。因为他是个好人，他潜入水中，游得越来越深。就这样，他淹死了。他死的时候，没有小马可以帮助穷人、饥饿的人或者疲惫的人。于是，他们也死了。"最后，她带着幸福的微笑，把蹄子叠在膝盖上。
We all stared at her for a long minute. “Sekashi… that’s a horrible story!” Glory blurted.
我们都盯着她看了很长时间。"Sekashi...这是一个可怕的故事!"晨辉脱口而出。
The zebra mare rubbed her chin. “Perhaps I should add more description of his cloak? Would that make it better?”
斑马母马摩擦着她的下巴。""也许我应该再多描述一下他的斗篷？这样会不会好一点?"
Glory just stared at me. “Hey, Xanthe was worse. She went on and on about being cursed.”
晨辉只是盯着我。"嘿，赞斯更糟糕。她不停地说自己被诅咒了。"
“Ahh. Yes. Who could think you cursed?” Sekashi asked back, with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.. She had no right to talk…
"啊。是的。谁会想到你会诅咒?"Sekashi微笑着回答，但是她的眼睛并没有完全看到她的笑容。.她没有权利说话..。
I understood the meaning of her little story, though. If something permanent happened to me, what would my friends do? Was this just me trying to find some new and inventive way to hurt myself?
不过，我明白了她这个小故事的意思。如果一些永久性的事情发生在我身上，我的朋友们会怎么做？这只是我试图找到一些新的和创造性的方式来伤害自己吗？
“No,” I said firmly, but with a small smile as I looked at Lacunae. “I know it’s risky. And I’ll try and be careful. But Rampage can’t keep going like this. At this rate, she’s going to bury herself in a mineshaft or throw herself into the ocean in a concrete filled barrel or… something.” Something drastic and so long term I wouldn’t be there to save her.
"不,"我坚定地说，但是当我看着空隙的时候，脸上带着一丝微笑。"我知道这很冒险。我会尽量小心的。但是狂暴不能再这样下去了。照这个速度，她要么把自己埋在矿井里，要么把自己扔进海里，扔进一个装满水泥的桶里，或者......"一些极端的，长期的，我不会在那里救她。
Glory smiled in worried approval. But Lacunae said telepathically to me, “And what if you go into her mind and discover that she is correct? That there never was a mare named Rampage?”
晨辉在担忧的赞同中微笑。但是Lacunae用心灵感应的方式对我说,"如果你进入她的思想，发现她是正确的怎么办？从来就没有叫做狂暴的母马?"
“Then I’ll lie to her and be her friend till the lie is real,” I replied telepathically. “If I can give her peace and can help her, then I will.” And while I had her in my mind, I thought, “You knew the Goddess was trying to take me over, didn’t you?”
"那我就对她撒谎，做她的朋友，直到这个谎言成真,"我心灵感应地回答。"如果我能让她平静下来，帮助她，那么我会的。"当我想到她的时候，我想,"你知道女神想要控制我，是吗?"
“Yes. I feared it was a great risk and that she would make the attempt. She knows a pony like you or LittlePip is her greatest threat,” Lacunae replied shamefully. “I failed you.”
"是的。我担心这是一个巨大的风险，她会作出尝试。她知道像你或小匹普这样的小马是她最大的威胁。"。"我辜负了你。"
“No. It’s not your fault. It’s the Goddess’s.” I smiled at the alicorn. “Don’t worry. We’ll think of some way out of this. And there’s the Stable Dweller out there too. If LittlePip can’t do something, the Stable Dweller will. Probably drop a balefire bomb or a house on her or something.”
"没有。这不是你的错。这是女神的。"我笑着看着那只独角兽。"别担心。我们会想办法解决的。而且还有马厩里的居民。如果小匹普不能做些什么，马厩居民会。可能会在她身上扔一个火焰炸弹或者房子什么的。"
There was a note of disgust in my mind. “You two do realize I can hear you, right?” the Goddess said dryly. “And the moment you do think of something, I’ll know it,” she added in a mental snarl. Then there was a pause and the Goddess snapped irritably, “And your Stable Dweller is LittlePip!”
我心里有一种厌恶的感觉。"你们两个知道我能听见你们说话吧?"女神干巴巴地说。"你一想到什么，我就会知道,"她在脑子里咆哮着补充道。然后是一个停顿，女神恼怒地厉声说,"你的马厩住户是小匹普!"
Oh, sure. Like I was going to believe anything she said! I got the impression of a pony throwing their hooves into the air in resigned annoyance and tried to put killing the Goddess out of my mind for now. Right now, Rampage needed help first.
当然。好像我会相信她说的任何话似的！我得到的印象是一匹小马把蹄子抛向空中，听天由命的烦恼，并试图暂时忘掉杀死女神的念头。现在，狂暴首先需要帮助。
“I’ve been in and out of too many memory orbs to count. If it’ll help her get answers, I’ll try it,” I said, then met Glory’s worried gaze. I tried to give a comforting smile. “I’m going to be careful. I will.” I then looked in the next room where a tiny Majina jabbered to a morose Rampage. “If I can give her peace, it’s a chance I have to take.”
"我进进出出的记忆球太多了，数都数不清。如果这能帮她找到答案，我会试试的。"我说，然后遇到了晨辉焦虑的目光。我试着给他一个安慰的微笑。"我会小心的。我会的。"然后我看了看隔壁房间，那里一个小小的马吉娜叽叽喳喳地乱叫着。"如果我能让她平静下来，我就必须抓住这个机会。"
I caught Glory staring at me with a small smile. “What?” I asked in worry.
我发现晨辉带着一丝微笑盯着我。"什么?"我担心地问。
“Nothing. I was just reminded about… things,” she said, that little smile not leaving her lips.
"没什么。我只是想起了......一些事情,"她说，嘴角挂着一丝微笑。
My spirits rose a little. “Good things?”
我的情绪有点高涨。"好事?"
“Yes. And frustrating things too,” she added, popping that balloon of hope inside me.
"是的。还有一些令人沮丧的事情,"她补充道，把我心中那个充满希望的气球弄爆了。
“If you are going to do this, you will need a recollector and an empty memory orb. The recollector we have,” Lacunae said, reminding me of the strange black circlet I’d found in Vanity’s locker. “As to an empty memory orb, I suggest you see the local shop filly.”
"如果你要这么做，你需要一个回忆仪和一个空的记忆球。"我们找到的回忆者,"拉库尼说，让我想起了我在瓦妮特的柜子里找到的奇怪的黑色圆环。"至于一个空荡荡的记忆球，我建议你去看看当地商店里的那匹小母马。"
I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as I suddenly feared for my bottlecaps.
当我突然担心我的瓶子的时候，我感到一阵寒冷的颤抖沿着我的脊椎流了下来。
* * *
* * *
The post office had gotten a bit cluttered since the last time I’d been in here. The space behind the counter was nearly a solid wall of packing crates and boxes overflowing with plunder from Blueblood Manor. The feral ghoul population had kept it safe from looters, leaving it to be picked clean by Chapel’s intrepid Crusaders. Anything of even passing value that hadn’t decayed had been brought here. There was a little sign that read ‘ring bell if it makes you feel better.’ I looked at the brass bell on the counter and tapped it. Nothing. I hit the little button on top repeatedly, but aside from a muted and oddly unsatisfying tapping within, nothing. I sighed and stretched up to try and peer over the crates of silver candlesticks and stacks of porcelain. There was nothing for it. “Charity?” I called out.
自从我上次来这里以后，邮局里有点乱。柜台后面的空间几乎是一堵坚实的墙，墙上堆满了从BluebloodManor掠夺来的包装箱和箱子。凶猛的食尸鬼保护它不受强盗的侵害，留给了教堂勇敢的十字军将其清理干净。任何没有腐烂的东西，哪怕只是一点点值钱的东西，都被带到这里来了。那里有一个小小的标志，上面写着"如果能让你感觉好点的话，就摇铃吧"我看了看柜台上的铜铃，轻轻地敲了敲。没什么。我反复地按上面的小按钮，但除了一个柔和的、奇怪的、令人不满意的点击之外，什么也没有。我叹了口气，伸了个懒腰，想看看那些装银烛台的板条箱和一堆堆瓷器。没什么好说的。"施舍?"我大声喊道。
There was a rustling, and a mare called out that she’d be right there… or something. Then there was a crash and a yipe, and several seconds later a peach-colored mare poked her head out as asked timidly, “Yes? Can I…” she trailed off as her pink eyes met mine and widened in shock. “Blackjack!”
有一声沙沙的响声，一匹母马大声叫道她就在那儿......或者别的什么。几秒钟后，一匹桃红色的母马羞怯地探出头来问道:"什么事?"？我能不能..。。」当她粉红色的眼睛与我相遇，震惊地睁大时，她的声音慢慢消失了。"黑杰克!"
“Caprice?” I gaped at her. “What are you doing here?” The once-leader of Flank looked as if she were recovering from quite a beating. Her face had the unhealthy blackish-green marks of bruises that were in the final stages of healing. The eyes, however, now openly showed a fear of the world she’d barely
"任性?"我目瞪口呆地看着她。"你在这儿干什么?"这位曾经的弗兰克领袖看起来好像刚从一场打斗中恢复过来。她的脸上有一些不健康的墨绿色的瘀伤，这些瘀伤已经到了痊愈的最后阶段。然而，她的眼睛现在公开地显示出她对这个几乎不存在的世界的恐惧
kept concealed before.
之前一直隐藏着。
“I…” She swallowed and lowered her gaze. “I… um… I was thrown out of Flank. My security team… they took over all the chem production and they’re using it to make Rage and Dash. Anypony that didn’t accept Citrine’s rule was run out... most of the working mares and stallions. The Trough is basically gone. The only trade they allow now is buying chem supplies, guns, and food and selling Stampede and Rainboom. They’re nothing but a bunch of drug fiends now.”
"我.....。。」她咽了口唾沫，低下了目光。"我.....。.我被踢出了弗兰克。我的保安团队...他们接管了所有的化学品生产他们用来制造愤怒和冲刺。任意马不接受Citrine的规则是运行...大多数的工作母马和种马。波谷基本上消失了。他们现在唯一允许的交易就是购买化学用品、枪支和食物，以及出售惊跑和暴风雨。他们现在只不过是一群吸毒者。"
I felt a little bad for her; just a little. She had planned to betray me, but clearly she’d gotten the rough end of the stick. “How’d you end up in Chapel, then?”
我为她感到有点难过，只是有一点。她本来是打算背叛我的，但显然她已经吃了苦头。"那你是怎么到教堂去的?"
“It’s just down the road,” she replied with a shrug. “Most of Flank went to go work for the Society. The rest scattered. A few came here. They needed help minding the store, so I volunteered.”
"就在路那头,"她耸耸肩回答。"弗兰克的大部分人都去社团工作了。其余的都散开了。有几个人来过这里。他们需要人帮忙看店，所以我自告奋勇。"
“Hey!” snapped a filly behind Caprice. There was a smack, and the peach mare jumped with a yipe. “No sexing the customers! Do that on your own time!” Charity called out, then jumped on Caprice’s back and hopped over her head and onto the counter top. She took one look at me and narrowed her eyes. “Blackjack! Where’s my money?”
"嘿!"一匹小母马在凯普莱斯身后厉声说道。有一个海洛因，和桃色的母马跳了yipe。"不要和顾客发生性关系！用你自己的时间去做吧!"叫了一声，然后跳到凯普莱斯的背上，跳过她的头，跳到柜台上。她看了我一眼，眯起眼睛。"黑杰克！我的钱呢?"
I met the yellow earth filly’s blue glare and backed away. “I don’t know! How much do I owe you? Didn’t I pay it already?” I clutched my saddlebags to my chest. “Please don’t take my poor bottlecaps. I’ll pay it back next time. I swear!” Then I frowned and said sharply, “Wait a minute. Didn’t I save your life last time?”
我遇到了黄色地球小母马的蓝色耀眼的光芒，向后退去。"我不知道！我该付你多少钱？我不是已经付过了吗?"我把鞍囊紧紧地抱在胸前。"请不要拿走我可怜的瓶子。下次我会还的。我发誓!"然后我皱起了眉头，厉声说:"等一下。我上次不是救了你的命吗?"
“Oh, crap apples,” Charity said as she deflated. “I was hoping you’d have forgotten about that.” She sat her butt on the counter as she looked at me sourly. “Fine. What do you want, Blackjack? A nice shiny new gun? Ammo? Something pretty for Glory?”
"哦，该死的苹果,"查瑞特泄了气说。"我还以为你已经忘了呢。"她不高兴地看着我，屁股坐在柜台上。"好吧。你想要什么，黑杰克？一把漂亮闪亮的新枪？弹药？为了荣誉而做的漂亮事情?"
“Actually, all I need is a couple empty memory orbs,” I said with a small look of relief. “Though if you do have something nice for Glory…”
"实际上，我所需要的只是一对空白的记忆球,"我带着轻松的表情说。"不过，如果你真有什么好东西可以献给晨辉的话......"
She looked over her shoulder. “Hey, Saucy Flanks! Get me a half dozen memory orbs from the fifth filing cabinet in the third row, bottom drawer in the back. Don’t even think of touching the sixth filing cabinet!” she snapped sharply.
她回头看了看。"嘿，小辣椒！给我从第三排第五个文件柜里找半打记忆球，最下面的抽屉。别想碰第六个文件柜!"她突然崩溃了。
“Yes, boss!” Caprice said, scurrying back into the cramped and overstocked work space.
"是的，老板!"卡普莱斯说着匆匆回到了狭窄拥挤的办公室里。
Charity watched her go and then her eyes softened a little. “She’s a little worthless, but that’s better than completely worthless like most adults. Came here half dead…”
慈悲看着她离去，然后她的眼神变得柔和了一些。"她有点没用，但总比像大多数成年人一样完全没用要好。半死不活地来到这里......"
“Don’t you think you should treat her better, then?” I asked, and received a cool look from the filly.
"那么，你不认为你应该对她好一点吗?"我问道，小母马冷冷地看了我一眼。
“If I let her start using pity as an asset, she’s never going to get any better,” Charity replied. “I gave her a mountain of debt and a job and an excuse to stay. Till she pays it off, I get an assistant. She gets a place to recover.” Then the filly adopted a sly grin. “So. Champion in bed, huh?”
"如果我让她开始用同情作为一种资产，她永远不会得到任何好转,"慈善回答。"我给了她堆积如山的债务、一份工作和留下来的借口。在她还清之前我得找个助理。她找到了一个康复的地方。"然后小母马狡猾地咧嘴一笑。"所以。床上功夫不错吧?"
I groaned and rubbed my cheek. “I didn’t expect everypony to hear it.”
我呻吟着，揉了揉脸颊。"我没想到每个小马都能听到。"
“Duh! That’s what makes it funny,” she replied with a roll of her eyes.
"切！这就是有趣的地方,"她转了转眼珠回答。
I quickly decided to shift the conversation away from my sexual experiences. “Listen, can I talk to you about Scotch Tape? She has a bunch of ideas for Chapel.”
我很快决定把话题从我的性经历上转移开。"听着，我能和你谈谈透明胶带吗？她对礼拜堂有很多想法。"
I expected a snide comment or a smile, but not the dark cloud that passed across her face. “Oh. The stable filly. What about her?”
我本以为她会说些挖苦的话或是露出微笑，但没想到她脸上会蒙上一层乌云。"哦。马厩里的小母马。她怎么了?"
Stable filly? “Um, Charity... She has a lot of good ideas for helping Chapel,” I repeated with emphasis.
马厩里的小母马？"嗯，查瑞蒂......她有很多帮助查普尔的好主意,"我强调地重复着。
“...Great,” Charity said sarcastically stressing her own words. “She can keep them.”
"......太好了,"查瑞蒂讽刺地强调着自己的话。"她可以留着它们。"
What? “But... you don’t want them?” I said with a little frown of concern. “She’s a real smart kid, and she wants to help you out.”
什么？"但是......你不想要吗?"我略带关切地皱着眉头说。"她是个非常聪明的孩子，她想帮助你。"
“Are all stable ponies so thick? We don’t want her help,” Charity said with a scowl. “If she wasn’t friends with you, we’d tell her to take her plans, shove ‘em up her butt, go jump in the river, and make like a sailboat.” My shock must have been incredibly evident, because she looked away, muttering darkly, “She comes here the first time telling us about her poor momma and how she died. How
"所有稳定的小马都这么粗吗？我们不需要她的帮助,"查瑞蒂皱着眉头说。"如果她不是你的朋友，我们会告诉她收起她的计划，把它们塞进她的屁股里，跳进河里，然后像帆船一样航行。"我的震惊一定是难以置信的明显，因为她转过头，阴沉地喃喃自语,"她第一次来这里告诉我们她可怜的妈妈和她是怎么死的。怎么会
she’s just like us. So we tell her she can be a Crusader. So what does she come trotting up here with this time?” Charity clasped her hooves together and grinned with a leer. “Why, her daddy, of course!” Her eyes fluttered a few times, her eyes wet behind her lids.
她和我们一样。所以我们告诉她，她可以成为十字军战士。那么这次她跑到这里来干什么呢?"慈善机构把蹄子扣在一起，斜着眼笑着。"当然是她爸爸啦!"她的眼睛颤动了几下，眼睛在眼睑后面湿润。
The yellow filly slumped immediately like melting butter, her blue eyes hardening as she looked towards the riches stacked up behind her. “I can buy or trade for almost anything I need. There’s always somepony that needs something. But there’s not a single thing I have to trade that will get me what she has.”
这只黄色的小母马立刻就像融化的黄油一样垂下了头，当她看着身后堆积的财富时，蓝色的眼睛变得坚硬起来。"我可以购买或交易几乎任何我需要的东西。总有需要帮助的人。但我没有任何东西可以用来交换她拥有的东西。"
“Charity, punishing Scotch Tape won’t make you feel any better. You shouldn’t spite her just because you’re jealous,” I murmured to her as I reached up and touched her mane.
"施舍，惩罚透明胶带不会让你感觉好一点。你不应该因为嫉妒而刁难她,"当我伸手抚摸她的鬃毛时，我低声对她说。
She shoved my hoof away with an indignant snarl. “I am not jealous! The Crusaders are for orphans. We’re not a bunch of dumb foals spending all day thinking of crazy ways to get our cutie marks. We stick together because we’re all we have. We have standards!”
她愤怒地咆哮着把我的蹄子推开。"我没有嫉妒！十字军战士是为孤儿服务的。我们不是一群愚蠢的小马驹，整天想着疯狂的方法来得到我们可爱的分数。我们团结在一起，因为我们是我们的全部。我们有标准!"
Suddenly there was a roar from somewhere underneath our feet, and Charity spun. “I told you to stay away from the vault, Saucy Flanks! Eat her, Precious, if she tries to touch our caps!” Charity yelled.
突然，我们脚下的某个地方传来一阵轰鸣声，接着，查瑞蒂转了一下身。"我告诉过你离金库远点，小帅哥！如果她敢碰我们的帽子，就吃了她，普莉希丝!"慈善机构喊道。
“Vault?” I asked in confusion.
"保险库?"我困惑地问。
“Yeah. It’s a big reinforced room down below for valuable mail and packages. Usually don’t keep a lot of stuff in there on account that it’s a pain to get it up and down the stairs. I keep our caps and other valuable stuff down there.” She screwed up her face in a scowl. “Precious volunteered to guard it. Kinda insisted, actually.” The filly sighed and gave a little shrug.
"是的。下面是一个很大的加固房间，用来存放贵重的邮件和包裹。通常不要在里面放太多东西，因为上下楼梯很痛苦。我把我们的球帽和其它有价值的东西都放在那里。"她皱起眉头。"普莱舍丝自愿保护它。事实上，我是坚持的。"小母马叹了口气，耸了耸肩。
Suddenly a scream sounded from outside and I was moving instantly for the door as a resounding crunch filled the air. Out came Duty and Sacrifice as I thought of who might be attacking us. Harbingers? Enclave? Raiders? I darted out into the rain and paused as my enemy came to light: gravity.
突然从外面传来一声尖叫，我立刻向门口走去，空气中充满了响亮的嘎吱声。当我想到谁可能会攻击我们的时候，责任和牺牲出现了。预言者？飞地？突袭机？我冲进雨中，当我的敌人——地心引力——暴露出来时，我停了下来。
One of the tottering structures had collapsed across the sewer ditch and road, and the colts, fillies, and few adults struggled to free the ponies trapped under the wreckage. Glory flew out of Sekashi’s home, followed a moment later by
一个摇摇欲坠的建筑倒塌在下水道和公路上，小马、小雌马和几个成年人挣扎着想把困在残骸下的小马弄出来。晨辉从Sekashi的家中飞出，片刻之后又飞过
Lacunae. The rain lashed the tiny settlement, and gusts of wind had all the buildings swaying and tugging against the ropes holding them upright. “Look out!” I shouted, but in the bedlam nopony took notice.
空隙。大雨猛烈地打击着这个小村庄，狂风使得所有的建筑物都摇摇晃晃，紧紧地拽着支撑它们竖直的绳索。"小心!"我喊道，但是在混乱中没有人注意到。
Sure enough, one of the ropes snapped in two and the wooden framing and scaffolding collapsed down on the milling ponies. I saw one of Harpica’s ghoul fillies staring up in terror at the avalanche of beams about to crush her as I raced down the road. Lacunae beat me to her, flashing beside her and catching the debris with her magic before it could crush the ghoul. Harpica hurried forward to gather the undead filly up and get her to safety before Lacunae dropped the heavy load.
果然，其中一根绳子断成了两截，木制框架和脚手架倒在了小马上。当我沿着公路奔跑时，我看到哈皮卡的一只食尸鬼小姑娘惊恐地盯着即将压碎她的雪崩光束。空隙把我打到她跟前，在她身边闪动，用她的魔法在食尸鬼被压碎之前抓住碎片。哈皮卡赶紧上前把这只不死的小母马召集起来，在拉库尼卸下沉重的负担之前把她带到安全的地方。
A shrill scream filled the air, and I watched as another fell with a ponderous crash into the ditch, bearing the chartreuse Medley with it. The unicorn surfaced for a second before the debris dammed the brown flow and she disappeared from view. The building settled a little more atop her.
一声刺耳的尖叫充满了空气，我看着另一个人沉重地摔进沟里，身上带着黄绿色的杂烩。这只独角兽浮出水面一秒钟后，泥石流挡住了褐色的水流，她从视野中消失了。那座建筑物在她身上稍微倾斜了一点。
“Get her out! She’s pinned!” I screamed as I dove into the flow above the blockage. My metal legs helped keep me from being swept off my hooves immediately, and I felt the trapped filly thrash against the beams crushing her legs and keeping her down. I heaved against them, but rather than lift I simply pushed myself into the muck of the ditch. I raised my head, looking at the beams and boards; maybe I could lift them off piecemeal? But no, that’d take too long. I ducked down again, feeling Medley move slower against me as I gripped the lowest beam I could and lifted. I had to do this… I thought of a pink-maned filly I’d failed so horribly not long ago…
"把她弄出去！她被压住了!"我尖叫着，一头扎进堵塞物上方的水流里。我的金属腿帮助我避免了马蹄立即被刮下来，我感觉到被困的小雌马在横梁上猛烈地摆动，挤压着她的腿，使她倒下。我用力推着他们，但我没有把自己抬起来，而是把自己推进了沟里的淤泥里。我抬起头，看着那些横梁和木板;也许我可以一块一块地把它们抬起来？但是不行，那样太费时间了。我再次弯下腰，感觉到混合泳在我身上移动得更慢了，因为我抓住了最低的横梁，抬起了横梁。我不得不这么做......我想起了不久前我失败得如此可怕的一头粉红色鬃毛的小母马.....。
It doesn’t matter what you do; you’ll never be a good pony. There are no good ponies…
你做什么并不重要，你永远不会成为一匹好马。没有好的小马。
No. I wouldn’t accept that. I couldn’t! I might have been a murderous fuckup who didn’t deserve any of my friends, but I could do better. I’d give all I had to give her a chance. All I had to give…
没有。我不会接受的。我做不到！我可能是个杀人不眨眼的混蛋，配不上我的任何朋友，但我可以做得更好。我会尽我所能给她一个机会。我所能付出的..。
And because he was good, he dove in and swam deeper and deeper. And thus, he drowned. When he died, there was nopony to help the poor, the hungry, or the weary. And so, they died too.
因为他是个好人，他潜入水中，游得越来越深。就这样，他淹死了。他死的时候，没有小马可以帮助穷人、饥饿的人或者疲惫的人。于是，他们也死了。
I couldn’t tell if Medley was struggling still or if it was just the current beating us. If I died, what would Glory say? What about others I could have helped? Do
我不知道是混合泳还在挣扎，还是只是水流击败了我们。如果我死了，晨辉会说什么？那么我本可以帮助的其他人呢？去吧
better… did that mean letting one filly die for others? My systems were sending all kind of ‘low O2’ warnings. Just a little harder. A little longer! Do better, damn it! Better!
更好...这是不是意味着让一个小姑娘为了别人而死？我的系统正在发送各种低氧警告。再用力一点。再久一点！做得更好，该死的！好多了！
Then there were hooves pulling me away. I fought with them. Some mare cried out in pain as I kicked out. I had to give her a chance. I had to! Had to! But then my head broke the surface and I was pulled from the filthy water by Glory, P-21, and Lacunae. The ditch flooded out around the blocking debris as I lay there, staring up at the sky as the rain pounded down upon me and my metal limbs.
然后是马蹄声把我拉开。我和他们并肩作战。当我踢出去的时候，一些母马痛苦地叫了起来。我必须给她一个机会。我必须这么做！别无选择！但是后来我的头破水而出，我被晨辉、P-21和拉库纳从肮脏的水中拉了出来。当我躺在那里的时候，沟渠淹没了堵塞的废墟，雨水不停地敲打着我和我的金属肢体，我抬头看着天空。
“Why?” I murmured as I lay there with filthy water sloshing around me as Glory knelt on my right and P-21 on my left. The cyan pegasus clutched her forehoof in pain, and I felt the guilt push me over the edge. “I can… I can take on an army of Harbingers. Kill a ghoul monster. So why can’t I give a filly a chance to live?”
"为什么?"当晨辉跪在我的右边，P-21跪在我的左边时，肮脏的水在我周围晃动，我喃喃地说。青色的飞马痛苦地抓住了她的前蹄，我感到内疚把我推到了悬崖边上。"我可以......我可以对抗一支预言者军队。杀死食尸鬼怪物。那我为什么不能给小母马一个活下去的机会呢?"
“Because you’re a fucking idiot, Blackjack,” Charity said as she sat in the doorway of the post office. Slowly I sat up, looking at her as if she were speaking zebra or something. “You don’t value yourself,” the filly said scornfully. “You put everypony else above you. Your friends. Strangers. Even your fucking enemies. Because for some reason you think that your life is worth less than theirs.”
"因为你他妈的是个白痴，Blackjack,"Charity坐在邮局门口说。我慢慢地坐起来，看着她，好像她在说斑马语或者别的什么。"你不珍惜自己,"小姑娘轻蔑地说。"你把所有人都置于你之上。你的朋友。陌生人。甚至是你的敌人。因为出于某种原因，你认为自己的生命没有他们的值钱。"
“Medley… she’s…” I rasped softly.
"梅德利......她......"我轻声地说。
“She’s dead,” Charity said firmly. “She’s not the first. She won’t be the last. But you killing yourself won’t change that. You can’t give her life, Blackjack. Not even you can do that.” I stared at the spot where the heap of beams and sheet metal lay in a scattered lump and felt something tense inside me. Do better, it insisted.
"她死了,"查瑞蒂坚定地说。"她不是第一个。她不会是最后一个。但是你自杀也改变不了这一点。你不能放弃她的生命Blackjack。即使是你也做不到。"我盯着那堆横梁和金属片散乱地堆在一起的地方，觉得心里有什么东西紧张起来。它坚持要做得更好。
I tried.
我试过了。
Do better.
做得更好。
I want to.
我想。
Do better!
做得更好！
I don’t know how!
我不知道怎么做！
Do better!
做得更好！
“I can’t! I can’t do any better!” I shouted as I clenched my head in my hooves. “I try and I try and I do all that I can and I don’t know how to do any better!”
"我不能！我找不到更好的了!"我一边喊着，一边用蹄子紧紧地捏着脑袋。"我努力尝试，我尽我所能，但我不知道如何做得更好!"
They all stared at me. There was no point in trying to get the remains out till after the rain stopped. All the Crusaders. Harpica, the ghoul pegasus holding the undead filly Lacunae had saved. The workers who were complete strangers looked on impassively as the hero of Hoofington failed before their eyes. P-21 held a pitying Scotch Tape, the filly’s designs and plans getting ruined in the rain. Even Caprice and Charity side by side, the former wary and the latter scornful, watched me carefully. Lacunae stood beside Sekashi and the mournful Majina along with Rampage and the stoic Dealer before the zebra’s little house.
他们都盯着我看。没有必要等到雨停了才把遗骸运出去。所有十字军战士。哈皮卡，持有不死小姑娘拉库奈的食尸鬼飞马拯救了他。那些完全是陌生人的工人面无表情地看着胡芬顿的英雄在他们眼前失败。P-21拿着一卷可怜的透明胶带，小母马的设计和计划在雨中被毁了。甚至连Caprice和Charity并排，前者谨慎，后者轻蔑，仔细地看着我。拉古内站在Sekashi和悲伤的马吉娜旁边，还有斑马面前的狂暴和禁欲的商人。
Then I felt Glory take my hoof between hers. “That’s because you’re trying to do it all on your own, Blackjack. You try to take all the blame. All the guilt. All the pain and suffering. You’re trying to give us all a better Wasteland on your own… and you can’t.”
这时我感到晨辉把我的蹄子夹在她的蹄子中间。"那是因为你想一个人完成这一切，Blackjack。你试图承担所有的责任。所有的罪恶感。所有的痛苦和折磨。你想自己把我们变成一个更好的荒原，但你做不到。"
“You can’t fix all your mistakes by dying, Blackjack,” P-21 said, his voice barely above the hiss of the rain. “You can’t fix 99. You can’t unkill the people who died. You can’t unbreak a pony’s heart.” Everypony just stood there in the rain.
"你不能用死亡来弥补你所有的错误，Blackjack,"P-21说，他的声音几乎盖过了雨的嘶嘶声。"你修不好99。你无法挽回那些死去的人。你无法挽回一匹小马的心。"每匹小马都站在雨中。
“Just bad luck,” a colt muttered as they looked at the wrecked buildings. “What with the rain and all…”
"只是运气不好,"一匹小马在他们看着被毁坏的建筑物时喃喃自语。"这么大的雨......"
“No! Not bad luck!” Scotch Tape cried as she stepped away from P-21. “Look, I don’t want to insult you after this but… but this is stupid! This isn’t how you’re supposed to build things! If that building had been built right, then Medley would be alive right now!” Scotch Tape said as she pointed at the tumbled structure.
"不！不是运气不好!"当她离开P-21时，透明胶带哭了。"听着，我不想在这之后侮辱你，但是......但是这太愚蠢了！你不应该这样建造东西！如果那座大楼建得正确，那么梅德利现在就还活着!"透明胶带一边指着倒塌的建筑一边说。
“Are you saying we killed Medley?” a filly challenged.
"你是说我们杀了麦德利?"一头小母马。
“No! But there’s a right way and a wrong way to build things. You can’t just put beams on a roof, hammer them into the walls, and think it’s going to stay up!” Scotch’s voice started to rasp, and the filly began to cough and fight for breath in the rain.
"不！但是建造东西有正确的方法和错误的方法。你不能把横梁放在屋顶上，把它们钉在墙上，还以为它会一直竖着!"苏格兰人的声音变得刺耳，小姑娘开始咳嗽，在雨中挣扎着喘气。
“Come on, let’s get home,” P-21 began, but then Scotch shook her head and pushed away.
"来吧，我们回家吧,"P-21开始了，但苏格兰人摇摇头，推开了。
“I know this is your home. I want to do better too. I want this to be a better place to live. I want this to be a better world! But if you won’t listen to me, then there’s nothing I can do. I’m just like Blackjack.” She looked at me sadly and then back at the others. “Please. Let me help.”
"我知道这是你的家。我也想做得更好。我想让这里成为一个更好的居住地。我希望这是一个更好的世界！但如果你不听我的，那我也无能为力。我就像黑杰克。"她悲伤地看着我，然后又看着其他人。"求你了。让我来帮忙。"
There were angry mutters and shakes of their heads. Talk that she wasn’t one of them. Not really. She had her father right there. I looked at Charity, standing in the rain, chewing on her bottom lip as she scowled at Scotch Tape. She looked as if she wasn’t quite sure what to do.
他们愤怒地咕哝着，摇着头。说她不是其中之一。也不尽然。她的父亲就在那里。我看着站在雨中的Charity，当她皱着眉头看着ScotchTape时，我咬着她的下嘴唇。她看起来好像不太确定该怎么办。
Finally, the yellow filly asked in a voice barely heard over the rain, “All right then. What do you suggest we do?”
最后，小黄马用雨中几乎听不到的声音问道:"那好吧。你说我们该怎么办?"
Scotch Tape looked at her, and a smile bloomed on her face. “Well… first… let’s get her out from under there…” The salesfilly blinked, and then her scowl faded and she smiled, giving Scotch a tiny little nod.
苏格兰胶布望着她，脸上绽放出笑容。"嗯......首先......让我们把她从那下面弄出来......"售货员眨了眨眼睛，然后她的怒容消失了，微笑着，向苏格兰威士忌微微点了点头。
And with that everypony except Glory started to move the wreckage. Together they pulled it apart and tossed it into the flooded road. Eventually a muddy little body was pulled from the churning water. I couldn’t bear to look at it as it was borne away. Scotch gave a few more instructions like staying clear of the rest of the standing buildings before P-21 put his hoof down, loaded her on his back, and headed for home. Rampage went back inside while Lacunae helped take down some of the riskier structures. With the ditch more or less clear, the water returned to flow unimpeded towards the river.
除了晨辉，其他人都开始移动残骸。他们一起把它拆开，扔到被水淹没的路上。最后，一个泥泞的小身体从翻腾的水中被拉了出来。我不忍心看它被风吹走的样子。苏格兰人又发出了一些指示，比如在P-21放下蹄子，把她背在背上，朝家走去之前，要远离其他矗立的建筑物。狂暴又回到了里面，而拉古奈帮助摧毁了一些较危险的建筑。随着沟渠或多或少地变得清澈，水流返回，畅通无阻地流向河流。
“I can’t love you like this,” Glory murmured beside me as she hung her head. “I want to, Blackjack. I do. You’re a good pony, even if you’re an insufferable screwup. But I can’t give my heart to a mare who doesn’t think she’s worth it. You’ve got to live, Blackjack. You’re so willing to give anypony else help… but you won’t let you help yourself.”
"我不能这样爱你,"晨辉低下头，在我身边喃喃地说。"我想去，黑杰克。我知道。你是一匹好马，即使你是一个令人难以忍受的失败者。但我不能把我的心交给一匹认为她不值得的母马。你必须活下去Blackjack。你非常愿意给别人帮助......但是你不让自己帮助自己。"
I lay there, rain falling on my synthetic eyes as I stared up into that endless gray. “I don’t know how, Glory. I know I need help. I know that what I’m doing is wrong… but I don’t know how to fix it. I can’t trust myself anymore.” I closed my eyes. “How is anypony supposed to help me?”
我躺在那里，雨水落在我的合成眼睛上，我凝视着那无尽的灰色。"我不知道怎么做，晨辉。我知道我需要帮助。我知道我所做的是错误的...但我不知道如何解决它。我再也不能相信自己了。"我闭上了眼睛。"那些小马怎么帮我呢?"
Then I felt her move atop me. Her feathers spread out and shielded me from the rain as she blanketed me with her body. It’s not something I could imagine Rainbow Dash ever doing. Maybe that was why. I extended my fingers and reached up behind her wings and held her to me. I knew I should be helping clear the tumbled debris. I should have been helping the crusaders bury Medley. I should’ve been checking on Scotch or helping my friends or… or…
然后我感觉到她在我身上移动。她的羽毛舒展开来，用她的身体覆盖着我，保护我免受雨水的侵袭。这不是我所能想象的彩虹冲刺所能做到的。也许这就是原因。我伸出手指，把手伸到她的翅膀后面，把她抱在怀里。我知道我应该帮忙清理掉落的碎片。我应该帮助十字军埋葬混合草药。我应该去看看苏格兰威士忌或者帮助我的朋友...或者..。
He dove in and swam deeper and deeper. And so he drowned…
他潜入水中，游得越来越深。所以他淹死了..。
I needed help. My friends needed help. Everypony did. And no matter how I kicked myself for Medley, for not being able to save her… it wouldn’t change that. I buried my nose where Glory’s shoulder met her neck and held her. She hummed a soft little tune, like a lullaby, and I slowly relaxed bit by bit.
我需要帮助。我的朋友们需要帮助。每个小马都这么做。不管我为了混合利多么后悔，因为我没能救她......这都不会改变。我把我的鼻子埋在晨辉的肩膀碰到她脖子的地方，然后抱着她。她哼着轻柔的小曲，像摇篮曲一样，我慢慢地一点一点地放松下来。
“Come on. Let’s go get out of the rain,” Glory murmured softly in my ear.
"来吧。"我们去避雨吧,"晨辉轻轻地在我耳边说。
* * *
* * *
“Okay. I’ll admit it’s a little bit kinky, but is this really supposed to help?” I asked, flushing a little as Glory clicked the lock on the collar around my neck closed with a definite note of finality.
"好吧。我承认这有点古怪，但这真的有用吗?"我问道，脸红了一下，因为晨辉按了一下我脖子上的锁，锁上了，带着一个明确的结束音符。
“Hopefully, it’ll remind you who’s going to keep you from flying apart the next time you feel the need to try and save somepony at cost of your own life,” Glory said. She tugged on the little heart-shaped lock with her mouth a moment, then smiled. “If I’m going to help you, I’m going to keep you till you accept how important you are to all of us.”
晨辉说:"希望它能提醒你，下次当你觉得有必要以自己的生命为代价去拯救一匹小马时，谁会阻止你分开飞行。"。她用嘴拽了一下那个心形的小锁，然后笑了。"如果我要帮助你，我会留住你，直到你认识到你对我们所有人的重要性。"
I blushed a little more, but really, I had no right to argue. If this was a condition of her staying with me, then I’d have to accept it. And, in all honesty, I was willing to let her do this. I had no idea how I’d make it without her. I needed her like I needed air. “But where the heck did you even find a collar like this?” I asked with a little squirm as we sat together on my bed. I could barely get a finger between the black leather collar and my neck; definitely snug, though not quite cutting.
我的脸又红了一点，不过说真的，我没有权利争辩。如果这是她和我在一起的条件，那我只能接受了。而且，说实话，我愿意让她这么做。我不知道没有她我该怎么办。我需要她就像我需要空气一样。"但你到底是从哪儿找到这样的项圈的?"当我们一起坐在我的床上时，我局促不安地问道。我的手指几乎伸不进黑色皮领子和脖子之间的空隙，虽然不是特别锋利，但绝对舒适。
“Charity. She practically gave it away when I said what I wanted it for. Oh, and she gave me the blank memory orbs you needed, too,” Glory said as she rolled me onto my stomach. “I know you want to help Rampage, and I think you should, but right now you need a little more help,” she said as she stroked my
"慈善机构。当我说我想要它做什么的时候，她几乎把它送人了。哦，她还给了我你需要的空白记忆球,"晨辉边说边把我翻到我的肚子上。"我知道你想帮助狂暴，我认为你应该这么做，但是现在你需要更多的帮助,"她边说边抚摸着我的手
spine. The contact and attention made me groan, but I also felt a little stab of guilt. I’d failed to save Medley. I didn’t deserve to--
脊柱。这种接触和关注让我呻吟，但我也感到一丝内疚。我没能拯救梅德利。我不配
“Yeouch!” I yelped as Glory whacked my backside hard. Being unaugmented, it was one of the places on me that could really sting! My cheeks flamed as I looked over my shoulder at her. “Glory! You hit me!”
"耶!"晨辉狠狠地拍了拍我的屁股，我尖叫起来。由于没有被增强，这是我身上真正刺痛的地方之一！当我回头看她的时候，我的脸颊红了起来。"晨辉！你打我!"
“You were thinking about Medley, weren’t you?” Glory asked as she looked into my eyes. Instantly I flushed, feeling very… confused. The cyan pegasus leaned towards me. “From now on, you’re not allowed to do that anymore, understand? Not for Dusk. Not for running away. Not for having sex. Not for failing anything. I’m the only one that gets to punish you.”
"你在想麦德利，是不是?"晨辉看着我的眼睛问道。我立刻脸红了，感到非常...困惑。青色的天马向我倾斜。"从现在开始，你不能再这么做了，明白吗？不是为了黄昏。不是为了逃跑。不是为了做爱。不是因为失败。我是唯一要惩罚你的人。"
“I… buh… wha… huh?” I blinked in shock and bafflement.
"我.....。.啊...啊...啊?"我在震惊和困惑中眨着眼睛。
“You heard me,” Glory said as she stroked along my spine once more. “Any time you do something that deserves punishing, then I’ll be the one to punish you. I’m not going to let you let it build up until you break down and do something stupid. And yeah, it’ll probably hurt. But it’s the only way I’ll be able to be around you and not worry about the next time you’re going to fly completely apart.” She closed her eyes and paused, then added, “And I think I need this too. I love you, but you’ve really hurt me more than once. I don’t think I’ll be able to get over it if I can’t.”
"你听到我说的了,"格洛里边说边再次抚摸着我的脊椎。"每次你做了什么该受惩罚的事，我都会惩罚你。我不会让你让它建立，直到你崩溃，做一些愚蠢的事情。是的，可能会很疼。但只有这样，我才能和你在一起，而不用担心下一次你们会完全分开。"她闭上眼睛，停顿了一下，然后补充道:"我想我也需要这个。我爱你，但你真的伤害了我不止一次。如果我做不到，我想我是无法克服的。"
“But... I mean... what if I have to...” I asked nervously.
"但是......我的意思是......如果我不得不......"我紧张地问。
“I expect you to be a good pony,” Glory said softly. “And if you have to help... help... but if I think you’re trying to use ‘help’ as an excuse for getting yourself shot, then you’re getting punished. And if you do something that hurts me... you are getting punished... and if you start hating yourself and moping... you are getting punished.” She hooked her wing in the collar’s ring and pulled my face to her. “I love you, but I’m still really pissed, and scared for you. If I can’t have some say in keeping you safe and helping you, then I’m not going to bother.”
"我希望你是一匹好马,"格洛里轻声说。"如果你必须帮助......帮助......但是如果我认为你试图用'帮助'作为让自己中枪的借口，那么你就会受到惩罚。如果你做了伤害我的事......你会受到惩罚......如果你开始憎恨自己，闷闷不乐......你会受到惩罚。"她把翅膀钩在衣领的环上，把我的脸拉向她。"我爱你，但我还是很生气，很担心你。如果我在保护你的安全和帮助你方面没有发言权，那么我就不会费心了。"
I pursed my lips, then sighed and slumped a little. “I guess I don’t have a choice.” She nipped my rump, making me jump and look at her in confusion over my shoulder.
我噘起嘴唇，叹了口气，垂了一下头。"我想我别无选择。"她捏着我的臀部，让我跳起来，从肩膀上迷惑地看着她。
“Of course you have a choice. If you really need me to stop, just call me Rainbow Dash,” she said as she stroked my mane, making me murr at the
"你当然可以选择。如果你真的需要我停下来，就叫我彩虹·达什吧,"她边说边抚摸着我的鬃毛，让我低声说道
contact. “But if we’re going to be more than friends, I’m going to have to be in charge for now on.” She bit my mane and gave it a tug, making me wince and groan a little. And shiver…
接触。"但如果我们不仅仅是朋友，现在就得由我来负责了。"她咬了咬我的鬃毛，拽了拽，让我退缩了一下，呻吟了一下。还有颤抖..。
And smile…
还有微笑..。
* * *
* * *
That afternoon, she unlocked me from the bed, and I slipped off the sheets feeling… odd. Not just odd… oddly good. I’d confessed anything and everything that had bubbled to the top of my memory, and Glory had brought out a few more tools to use on me. I’d been spanked two times for Boing and four times for Medley and once for the Fluttershy Medical Center. A blindfold, hoofcuffs, and belt were used when it came to punishing me for Dusk. She’d gotten creative when the time came to answer for Stygius…
那天下午，她把我从床上打开，我从床单上滑下来，感觉...很奇怪。不仅仅是奇怪...还是出奇的好。我坦白了所有我记忆中浮现出来的事情，晨辉也给我带来了更多的工具。我因为Boing被打了两次屁股，因为Medley被打了四次，还因为Fluttershy医疗中心被打了一次屁股。在为《黄昏》惩罚我的时候，我用了眼罩、蹄铐和皮带。当时机成熟时，她变得富有创造力。
Funny. I felt more like a mare now than I had with him, which was odd, as I was with Glory. I never necessarily thought of myself as submissive, but after the long afternoon and night, I had to admit I had some positively juicy feelings inside me. Sure, she couldn’t get my heart racing or make me gasp for breath, but she actually made me happy to be alive and with her. Our relationship had taken a sharp right turn into the chaos capital of the Wasteland…
有意思。我觉得现在比和他在一起时更像一匹母马，这很奇怪，因为我和晨辉在一起。我从未认为自己是顺从的，但是在漫长的下午和夜晚之后，我不得不承认我体内有一些积极有趣的感觉。当然，她不能让我的心跳加速，也不能让我上气不接下气，但她确实让我很高兴能和她一起活着。我们的关系急转直下，变成了一片混乱的荒原之都..。
And I couldn’t say I minded.
我不能说我介意。
Glory clipped a leash to the ring in my collar and flew ahead of me, and I followed her obediently. I was still bothered by Medley; there was no way I could stop myself from that. But now I had an outlet that was more than just me running myself into the ground trying to atone.
晨辉在我的项圈上夹了一条皮带，飞在我的前面，我顺从地跟着她。我仍然为《混合》所困扰，我无法阻止自己这样做。但是现在我有了一个发泄的途径，这不仅仅是我为了赎罪而把自己埋在地下。
Scotch Tape stared at her plans as she lay wrapped in an old quilt by the fire. She glanced up at the pair of us and rolled her eyes. “Dad, make two more. The sex fiends have emerged.”
她裹着旧被子躺在火炉旁，透明胶带凝视着她的计划。她抬头看了看我们俩，翻了翻白眼。"爸爸，再做两个。性瘾者已经出现了。"
Glory flushed a little, but also smiled too as she twisted the leash around her hoof and drew out the slack. “We aren’t sex fiends,” she said primly, then pulled me close for a kiss that had me on the ends of my hooves. “We just… got creative in our relationship.”
晨辉有点脸红，但也笑了，当她扭动皮带在她的蹄子，拉出松弛。"我们不是性瘾者,"她一本正经地说，然后把我拉近，让我亲了一下，那吻让我的蹄子都要掉下来了。"我们只是......在我们的关系上有了创造性。"
“Told you, Daddy,” she said, but then she started to cough.
"告诉过你，爸爸,"她说，但随后她开始咳嗽。
Glory unhooked the leash and then flew to Scotch’s side. She pressed a hoof to her brow. “Mmm… you feel a little feverish. Let me get the thermometer.”
格洛里解开皮带，飞到苏格兰人的身边。她用蹄子顶住额头。"嗯......你觉得有点发烧。我去拿温度计。"
The olive filly pushed her hoof away. “I’m fine, Glory. Besides, after all you two were probably doing together, I’m scared where you’d stick it,” she said, the little filly actually blushing as well before she looked down at her drawing.
橄榄小姑娘推开了她的蹄子。"我很好，晨辉。而且，你们两个可能在一起做了那么多事，我怕你们会把它粘在一起,"她说，小姑娘在低头看着自己的画之前也脸红了。
“We weren’t that bad, were we?” I asked P-21; my smile wouldn’t quite go away. The blue stallion was actually trying to cook something in the kitchen! To my amazement, it smelled pretty good!
"我们没那么坏，对吧?"我问P-21;我的微笑不会完全消失。那匹蓝色的种马实际上是想在厨房里做点什么！令我惊讶的是，它闻起来相当不错！
“Well, I don’t think quite as many people heard it as the ‘champion’ comment,” he said casually as he watched the pots simmering. “Still, you’re loud, Blackjack.”
"嗯，我不认为有多少人听到它作为'冠军'的评论,"他说，随便看着他慢慢炖锅。"尽管如此，你还是很大声，Blackjack。"
I moved closer, sniffing the dishes that seemed to actually be some sort of pie, tea, and a salad of some sort. “You’re okay with what we’re doing?”
我走近一些，嗅着那些看起来像是馅饼、茶和某种沙拉的盘子。"你对我们的所作所为没意见吗?"
“You’re a grown mare. She’s a grown mare. You’re both safe and consenting. Beyond that, it’s none of my business. Don’t involve Scotch Tape, and I’ll be happy.” He glanced at my rump. “Just a suggestion, though? Go easy under the tail when you’re starting out.” Wow, feel that blush!
"你是一匹成年母马。她是一匹成年母马。你们都很安全，而且都同意了。除此之外，这不关我的事。不要用透明胶带，我会很高兴的。"他瞥了我一眼。"不过，只是一个建议？当你开始的时候，不要太紧张。"哇，感受一下那脸红！
“Oh, Celestia, I hadn’t even thought of that,” Glory murmured, then silenced Scotch’s retort with a thermometer popped under her tongue. I feared for my backside.
"哦，塞莱斯蒂娅，我甚至没有想到这一点,"晨辉喃喃地说，然后，苏格兰人用舌头下冒出的温度计压住了她的反驳。我担心我的后背。
“Sexcapades aside, I still want to try and help Rampage. Where is she?” I asked with a little frown.
"撇开性行为不谈，我还是想帮助狂暴。她在哪里?"我皱着眉头问道。
“Lacunae has Rampage and Boo in her room,” P-21 replied. “She keeps cycling through personalities. Lacunae just levitates her when she gets violent. At least she’s easier to handle when she’s a filly.”
"空隙有狂暴和布在她的房间,"P-21回答。"她不停地循环着自己的个性。当她变得暴力时，空隙只是使她飘浮起来。至少当她是小母马的时候更容易对付。"
“She hasn’t tried to hurt Boo, has she?” I asked with a worried frown.
"她没有试图伤害阿布，是吗?"我愁眉苦脸地问。
“No. Apparently three of her souls think she’s their daughter or something. Of course, as soon as she snaps out of it, she’s all confused. Like she remembers some parts of it but not others,” P-21 said softly. I remembered how I felt after I’d died, the certainty that something had happened while I’d been gone.
"没有。显然她的三个灵魂认为她是他们的女儿或什么的。当然，一旦她清醒过来，她就会感到很困惑。就像她记得其中的某些部分，但不记得其他部分,"P-21轻声说。我记得自己死后的感受，记得我不在的时候肯定发生了什么事。
Something vitally important and wrong, but that I couldn’t actually remember.
一些非常重要和错误的事情，但是我实际上不记得了。
“The souls within her have no memory of their own past their death,” Lacunae said softly in my mind. “When they manifest, they rewrite a small portion of Rampage’s mind. Some of them can re-access it, letting Rampage serve as a proxy memory for them. Some, like the Angel, have somehow learned to go back to that memory and use it to their advantage.”
"她体内的灵魂对他们自己过去的死亡没有任何记忆,"拉库纳在我的脑海里轻声说。"当他们显现时，他们改写了暴怒的一小部分思想。他们中的一些人可以重新访问它，让狂暴成为他们的代理记忆。有些人，比如天使，已经学会了回到那段记忆，并将其用于自己的优势。"
“Lacunae, that made no sense at all,” I said aloud, earning a confused look from everypony. Of course, then the Goddess’s control in my own head silenced me from explaining further. I forced a laugh and said in embarrassment, “Sorry. Lac’s talking in my head.” And... that was all I could get out. Glory frowned at me, and I said quickly, “Really. That’s all. Just strange alicorny goodness!”
"空白，这根本说不通,"我大声说道，引起了每一匹小马迷惑的目光。当然，后来女神在我脑海中的控制使我无法进一步解释。我勉强笑了一下，尴尬地说:"对不起。Lac在我脑子里说话。"我只能说出这么多。晨辉朝我皱了皱眉头，我很快地说:"真的吗。仅此而已。真是奇怪的好东西!"
“What it means is, I suspect your idea might work. By examining the memories the souls have of their deaths, we might be able to piece together an understanding of how Rampage came to be,” Lacunae said in my mind.
"这意味着，我怀疑你的想法可能行得通。通过检查那些死去的灵魂的记忆，我们或许能够拼凑出狂暴是如何产生的。
“I’ve got to wonder how Rampage remembers things when she dies when souls can’t,” I said, trying to think it through.
"我想知道，当她死去的时候，灵魂不能回来，她是如何记得事情的,"我说，试图想清楚。
“I suspect the talisman regenerates her brain at the moment of death, preserving nearly all of her most recent memories.” There was a pause that set my nerves on edge before she went on, “It is also a sign that your theory of Rampage being a flesh and blood mare is...”
"我怀疑这个护身符在她死亡的那一刻使她的大脑再生，保存了她几乎所有最近的记忆。"在她继续说下去之前，我的神经停顿了一下,"这也是一个信号，表明你认为狂暴是一匹血肉之躯的理论是......"
“The only theory I’ll accept,” I thought bluntly at her. “If we don’t find any proof, then we keep digging till we do. Like with science. And if we still don’t, then we lie till we do.”
"这是我唯一能接受的理论,"我直截了当地对她说。"如果我们找不到任何证据，那么我们就继续挖掘，直到找到为止。就像科学一样。如果我们仍然不知道，那么我们就一直撒谎直到我们知道。"
“That’s not how science works, Blackjack,” Lacunae told me with an air of infinite patience.
"那不是科学的工作方式，Blackjack,"Lacunae无限耐心地告诉我。
“It’s how the science of friendship works,” I said aloud in my frustration. “Sometimes, to help a friend, you have to lie to them. At least until they can deal with it.” I flushed, rubbing the back of my head. “Sorry. More brain talking.”
"这就是友谊的科学,"我沮丧地大声说。"有时候，为了帮助朋友，你不得不对他们撒谎。至少在他们能够解决这个问题之前是这样。"我脸红了，摩擦着我的后脑勺。"对不起。更多的大脑交流。"
I’d expected weird looks from my friends. Scotch Tape just frowned. “Yeah, but it still sucks huge butt, Blackjack. I mean, I still got a big old wad of nothing between my ears, thanks to you. I still feel... you know... nervous of machines
我以为我的朋友们会用奇怪的眼神看我。透明胶带皱了皱眉头。"是的，但是它还是吸巨大的屁股，Blackjack。我的意思是，多亏了你，我的耳朵之间仍然有一大团东西。我仍然觉得......你知道......对机器感到紧张
and stuff. Really annoying.” Tell me about it, because the Goddess had made me unable to tell her. Glory and P-21 looked a little more worried, though, glancing at each other. I knew they probably weren’t all that keen on being around Rampage when she found out.
还有其他的。真的很烦人。"告诉我，因为女神让我不能告诉她。不过，晨辉和P-21看上去有点担心，他们互相看了一眼。我知道当她发现这件事的时候，他们可能并不是那么热衷于和狂暴相处。
Deal with it. Rampage was a pony, and nothing was going to convince me otherwise. I just had to find a way to convince her it was true, too. And if I was wrong... well... I’m pretty experienced with messing up relationships. Maybe she and Glory could tag team or something.
处理它。狂暴是一匹小马驹，没有什么能说服我不这么做。我只需要想办法让她相信这也是真的。如果我错了......那么......我对搞砸关系很有经验。也许她和晨辉可以组成一个团队什么的。
I rose and looked at Glory and my friends, and she gave a resigned sigh and a little smile. “Go on. See if you can help her.”
我站起来，看着晨辉和我的朋友们，她无可奈何地叹了口气，露出一丝微笑。"继续。看看你能不能帮帮她。"
I gave a crooked little smile to her. “And if I mess up...”
我给了她一个歪歪扭扭的微笑。"如果我搞砸了......"
She smiled back, her eyes firm but warm. “I think either way...”
她回以微笑，她的眼睛坚定而温暖。"我认为不管怎样......"
Scotch Tape groaned from where she was trying to draw new designs after the others had gotten soaked in the rain. “Could you either go help Rampage or go rut each other again or something? Some ponies are trying to work here.”
当其他人被雨淋湿后，她正在试图画出新的图案时，透明胶带发出呻吟声。"你们要么去帮助狂暴，要么再次互相发泄什么的？一些小马正在这里工作。"
I laughed and nodded, giving her another kiss and then looking into her eyes. “I really love you.”
我笑着点了点头，又吻了她一下，然后看着她的眼睛。"我真的很爱你。"
“I know. I love you too,” she said before adding a moment later, “but I’m still plenty annoyed at you. So when you’re done...” She stroked my cheek, and Scotch Tape groaned in annoyance.
"我知道。"我也爱你,"她说，过了一会儿又加了一句,"但我还是很生你的气。所以当你做完......"她抚摸着我的脸颊，透明胶带在烦恼中呻吟着。
P-21 just laughed softly. “Just let them enjoy it while it’s novel, Scotch.”
P-21只是轻轻地笑了笑。"苏格兰威士忌，让他们尽情享受吧。"
The olive filly snorted, “Well, whatever. Probably won’t take long. Trust Glory to make kinky sexy spanking and whipping boring.”
橄榄小姑娘哼了一声:"好吧，随便啦。可能不会花很长时间。相信晨辉会让性感的打屁股和鞭打变得无聊。"
“You’re just jealous,” Glory said as she hugged me and stuck her tongue out at the earth pony. Scotch’s eyes popped wide, and she immediately went scarlet.
"你只是嫉妒,"晨辉说，她拥抱了我，对着大地上的小马伸出了舌头。苏格兰人的眼睛瞪得大大的，她立刻变得通红。
“That... that’s not true!” Scotch Tape sputtered. “I could have a fillyfriend if I really wanted one and stuff. There’s boys here that’d like to be with me, too.”
"那...那不是真的!"透明胶带劈啪作响。"如果我真的想要一个什么的，我可以有一个充电朋友。这里的男孩子也想和我在一起。"
Glory sputtered and looked at P-21. “Are you seriously going to sit there and...
光荣战士气急败坏地看着P-21。"你真的要坐在那里.....。
and...”
还有..."
“Why?” P-21 just blinked in confusion. “She has her implant.”
"为什么?"P-21只是困惑地眨了眨眼。"她植入了芯片。"
Glory then lit off into a tirade about sexual propriety and how Scotch should wait till she was married, and Scotch immediately asked what marriage even was. I admit, even I was a little fuzzy on the concept. I gave P-21 an apologetic smile and abandoned him, slipping over to Rampage’s room. I gave a soft knock on the door, then slipped inside. Out in the living room, words were rapidly escalating and reaching a pitch that was starting to make my ears hurt.
然后，晨辉开始长篇大论地谈论性礼仪，以及苏格兰人应该如何等到她结婚之后，苏格兰人立即询问婚姻究竟是什么。我承认，连我自己都对这个概念有点模糊。我带着歉意的微笑离开了他，溜进了狂暴的房间。我轻轻地敲了敲门，然后溜了进去。在起居室里，话语迅速升级，达到了一个让我耳朵开始疼痛的程度。
Closing the door, I looked at the filly moping on her bed. With her worries exposed for all to see, I just wanted to hug her and tell her it would be alright. Lacunae stood by with the black circlet recollector and a small plastic baggie with a half dozen glass spheres within. “Don’t ask how I’m doing. You won’t like the answer. What do you want, Blackjack?”
我关上门，看着躺在床上闷闷不乐的小母马。她的担忧暴露在众人面前，我只想拥抱她，告诉她一切都会好起来的。空隙站在一旁，旁边放着回收的黑色圆环和一个小塑料袋，里面装着六个玻璃球。"别问我过得怎么样。你不会喜欢这个答案的。你想要什么，黑杰克?"
I glanced at Lacunae. “Has she told you?”
我瞥了一眼空隙。"她告诉你了吗?"
“Yeah. You want to try to dig around in my skull and find some memories from the souls in me. Then you want to put them into that recollector thingy. What I don’t get is why you want to help me,” she said sourly.
"是的。你想在我的头骨里挖掘，从我的灵魂里找到一些记忆。然后你想把它们放到那个记忆库里。我不明白的是你为什么要帮我,"她酸溜溜地说。
“Goodiest good pony in the Wasteland,” I answered with a little smile. It didn’t last. “Don’t you want to know who you really are?”
"荒原上最好的小马,"我微笑着回答。但这并没有持续多久。"难道你不想知道你到底是谁吗?"
“No. Not really,” she said as she curled up and put her chin on the comforter. “Things are better this way.”
"没有。没有,"她一边说，一边蜷起身子，把下巴放在被子上。"这样更好。"
“What?” I asked. Lacunae gave a weary sigh.
"什么?"我问道。空隙发出疲倦的叹息。
“Really. Now that I’ve thought about it, this is the best thing possible.” And she actually smiled! “Rampage doesn’t really exist. If she doesn’t exist, then all the horrible things that happened to her don’t matter. It doesn’t matter if she killed somepony... or... or anypony...” She sniffed as tears ran down her cheeks. “So you can take your toy there and leave me alone, okay. Because... because this way is better. Understand? Better. And I’ll still fight for you and stuff. But you don’t have to worry about me anymore. Nopony does.”
"真的。现在我想了想，这是最好的选择。"她居然笑了！"暴怒并不存在。如果她不存在，那么发生在她身上的所有可怕的事情都不重要了。不管她杀了什么小马......或者......或者什么小马......"她闻了闻鼻子，眼泪顺着脸颊流了下来。"所以你可以把你的玩具带到那里，别来烦我，好吗?"。因为...因为这样更好。明白吗？好多了。我还是会为你而战的。但你不用再担心我了。而Nopony就是这样。"
I looked at her for the longest time. I’d never thought I’d see Rampage on the
我盯着她看了很长时间。我从来没有想过我会看到横冲直撞
mattress like this. You could cut the self-pity with a knife. “Are you serious?” I asked with a little frown, thinking of how I’d wanted somepony to buck me off it. Charity’s words rang in my ears. ‘You don’t value yourself.’ “Blackjack?” she asked with a baffled frown.
像这样的床垫。你可以用一把刀切断自怜。"你是认真的吗?"我皱着眉头问道，想着我多么想要一匹小马把我甩下来。慈善的话在我耳边回响。你不重视自己"黑杰克?"她皱着眉头问道。
“Are you telling me that Priest never loved a Pony named Arloste? That she never had a baby named Hope? That she was never a Reaper or was one of my best friends?” I pressed as I stared into her pale pink eyes. “Well, let me tell you something, miss pony who says she doesn’t exist. Rampage wasn’t afraid of anything. She helped me even when I didn’t deserve it. Even when I hurt her for giving it. She always helped.” I trotted next to the bed, looking her in the eyes as I smiled softly. “So let me help you now.”
"你是在告诉我牧师从来没有爱过一匹叫阿洛斯特的小马吗？她从来没有生过一个叫Hope的孩子？她从来不是死神，也不是我最好的朋友?"我紧紧地盯着她淡粉色的眼睛。"好吧，让我告诉你一些事情，小马小姐，她说她不存在。狂暴什么都不怕。即使我不配得到她的帮助，她也会帮助我。即使我因为她给我钱而伤害了她。她总是帮忙。"我小跑到床边，看着她的眼睛，温柔地微笑着。"那么现在让我来帮你吧。"
“You... you don’t even know if it’ll work,” she said in worry. “Do you even know the spell?”
"你......你甚至不知道它是否会起作用,"她担心地说。"你知道这个咒语吗?"
“What do you care?” I replied. “If you really believe this whole ‘Rampage doesn’t exist’ garbage, then it shouldn’t matter if I do it or not.” I grinned at the uncertainty in her eyes, then put my hoof on hers. “But I believe the pony named Rampage does exist. That she’s a special pony... unique... and I want to help her.”
"你在乎什么?"我回答。"如果你真的相信'暴怒根本不存在'这种垃圾，那么我做不做都没关系。"我对着她那不确定的眼神咧嘴笑了笑，然后用蹄子踩了她的眼睛。"但我相信名叫'狂暴'的小马确实存在。她是一匹特别的小马......独一无二......我想帮助她。"
She shook her head and sighed. “Just... don’t do something that’s going to embarrass me. Like take away my bladder control or make me only able to talk in rhymes. Okay. Kill me if you can, but don’t leave me lame.”
她摇摇头叹了口气。"只是......别做会让我难堪的事情。比如夺走我的膀胱控制权，或者让我只能说押韵的话。好吧。如果可以的话杀了我，但是不要让我跛脚。"
“I’ll try,” I replied with a gentle smile. “I’ve got no idea what I’m doing, but... I’ll try.”
"我会试试的,"我温柔地笑着回答。"我完全不知道自己在做什么，但是......我会努力的。"
Magic bullet. Light spell. Now I was trying a memory spell? I bit my lip as I touched the tip of my horn to her brow, then closed my eyes and concentrated. This was the first time... no. Not my first. I’d done this to Lacunae, too. I could feel... something. It was like a memory orb, but instead of the world swirling away, it was like looking into a deep pool of flashing, churning lights. So many of them. I tried to push myself into that pool and get closer to the lights. Each one I tried to grab faded away.
神奇子弹。光魔法。现在我在尝试记忆咒语？我咬着嘴唇，用角尖碰了碰她的额头，然后闭上眼睛，集中注意力。这是第一次...不。不是第一次了。我也这样对待过拉库尼。我能感觉到...一些东西。它就像一个记忆球，但不是世界在旋转，而是像看到一个深池闪烁，搅动的灯光。这么多。我试着把自己推进泳池，靠近灯光。我试图抓住的每一个都消失了。
No. I couldn’t just grab them. I had to be patient. Calm. Fighting the strain in my horn, I kept the connection going and waited. Soon the memories drifted closer. I
没有。我不能就这么抓住他们。我必须要有耐心。冷静。我克服了喇叭里的紧张感，继续保持联系，等待着。很快，这些记忆就慢慢地靠近了。一
saw flashes of images in that bottomless, dark void. One that drifted right beside me had flickering images of Twist, and I reached out with my will and touched it...
在那无底的黑暗空间里，看到了闪烁的影像。其中一个漂浮在我身边，有摇曳的扭曲的影像，我伸出我的意志去触摸它..。
oooOOOooo
噢噢噢
I’d been in so many memories by this point that I almost automatically assessed the body around me: mare... very fit and healthy... earth p-- no... this body was like an earth pony’s, but there were several subtle differences with the way her body moved; the breeze around her tail was another giveaway. There was an unusual lightness to her hooves as she trotted along towards several low buildings right adjacent to the Miramare base. As she approached one door, I saw her reflection in the window. Red stripes. Shujaa.
在这个时候，我的记忆如此丰富，以至于我几乎不由自主地评估了我周围的身体:母马......非常健康......地球......不......这个身体就像一匹地球上的小马驹，但是她的身体移动方式有一些细微的差别;她尾巴周围的微风是另一个泄露。当她沿着米拉马雷基地附近的几座低矮的建筑小跑时，她的蹄子显得异常轻盈。当她走近一扇门时，我看到她在窗户上的倒影。红色条纹。女名女子名。
The door opened at her approach, and out stepped Twist. The mare had a tired, resigned look on her face. She closed the door softly behind her and then swiftly embraced and kissed the zebra quite ardently. Even though she was still a young mare, Twist had clear wrinkles in the corners of her eyes. Her chopped mane was a little more frazzled and had pink highlights in it. “How is everything?” Shujaa asked, glancing at the door.
门在她走近时打开了，特威斯特走了出来。那匹母马的脸上有一种疲倦的、听天由命的表情。她在身后轻轻地关上门，然后迅速拥抱并热烈地吻了那只斑马。尽管她还是一匹年轻的母马，但特威斯特的眼角已经有了清晰的皱纹。短短的鬃毛稍显疲惫，染上了粉红色的亮点。"一切都好吗?"舒贾瞥了一眼门问道。
“Fine. Everything’s fine.” She glanced back over her shoulder and then at the zebra. “She doesn’t know. I hate telling her goodbye. I feel like, if I do, I won’t be coming back.”
"好吧。一切都很好。"她回头看了一眼，然后看了看斑马。"她不知道。我讨厌跟她说再见。我觉得，如果我这么做了，我就再也不会回来了。"
“You should tell her next time,” Shujaa said as they parted in their embrace, and the Proditor zebra looked up in time to catch a curtain in Twist’s room swaying back and forth. She pursed her lips, then looked at Twist. “You should tell her now.”
"你下次应该告诉她,"舒贾在他们分手时说。这时，普罗迪托斑马抬起头来，及时抓住了在特威斯特房间里来回摆动的窗帘。她噘起嘴唇，然后看着特威斯特。"你应该现在就告诉她。"
“No time,” Twist replied as she turned and trotted towards the airfield where a half dozen skywagons waited in rows, soldiers milling about. “We were supposed to lift off five minutes ago. Did you get the briefing?” Twist asked as she walked briskly in her tan combat armor.
"没时间了,"特威斯特一边回答，一边转身小跑向机场，那里有六辆空运货车排成一行等着，士兵们在附近乱转。"我们五分钟前就该起飞了。你拿到简报了吗?"特威斯特一边问，一边穿着棕褐色的战斗盔甲轻快地走着。
“Yes. A whole legion wishing to defect. It is hard to imagine. I hope that Rainbow Dash’s information is accurate this time,” Shujaa said as she walked along beside her. Unlike Twist, the zebra wore a sort of harness that was very snug. When I had a chance, I had to ask Charity if she could find one for me. She was virtually unarmed save for a dagger in a sheath on her left forehoof.
"是的。整个军团都想叛变。很难想象。我希望这次彩虹·达什的消息是准确的,"舒贾一边走一边说。与特威斯特不同的是，斑马戴着一种非常紧身的安全带。当我有机会的时候，我不得不问问Charity是否能为我找到一个。她几乎没有武器，只是左前蹄上有一把匕首套在鞘里。
As Twist approached, the soldiers around the skywagons fell into two rows, mostly earth ponies in battle saddles with a few unicorns and pegasi. “Sergeant,” a few said, while the others stayed silent and serious. She looked over their weapons and equipment as Shujaa followed in her wake. The zebra’s eyes lingered on Twist’s backside a little more than was probably necessary. Three other ponies whom I assumed were also sergeants inspected other groups while a fourth pegasus sergeant checked the harnesses of the pegasi getting strapped into the skywagons.
随着特威斯特的到来，空中马车周围的士兵们分成了两排，大部分是战斗马鞍上的土地小马，骑着几只独角兽和飞马。"中士,"一些人说，而其他人保持沉默和严肃。当Shujaa紧随其后时，她检查了他们的武器和装备。斑马的眼睛在特威斯特的屁股上停留的时间比可能需要的时间要长一些。另外三匹小马，我以为它们也是军士，正在检查其他小组，而第四匹飞马的军士正在检查被绑在飞马座上的驾驶盘。
Finally, four ponies trotted forward, three in combat armor while the fourth was in a tan dress uniform. “Colonel Cupcake,” Twist said with a salute. The hefty brown pegasus looked at her and let a smile curve his lips fondly before he became all business again.
最后，四匹小马小跑向前，其中三匹穿着战斗装甲，第四匹穿着褐色的制服。"纸杯蛋糕上校,"特威斯特敬礼道。健壮的棕色飞马看着她，甜蜜地微笑着，然后又开始谈正事了。
“Still your hooves and open your ears,” he said loudly. “Two hours ago, the Ministry of Awesome intercepted a zebra communique about a legion of their warriors wanting to defect. Given that they had a kill order attached to it, we think the communique is pretty genuine. So we’re going to find this legion, and if this is on the up and up, we’re going to give them a little vacation from the war. Now I’m briefing you personally because the legion named is one of the oldest that had ever fought us in this war. They’ve been doing this for twenty years. If they’re willing the throw in the towel now, we want to know why. That means no itchy trigger bits. No mistakes. Nothing. Do I make myself clear?”
"别动，把耳朵张开,"他大声说。"两小时前，美好事物部截获了一份有关斑马军团的公报，内容是他们的战士想要叛逃。考虑到他们附带了一个杀人命令，我们认为公报是相当真实的。所以我们要找到这个军团，如果这是真的，我们要给他们一个战后的小假期。现在我要亲自向你们汇报，因为这个军团是在这场战争中与我们作战的最老的军团之一。他们已经这样做了20年了。如果他们现在愿意认输，我们想知道为什么。这意味着不会有痒痒的触发点。没有错误。没什么。我说得够清楚了吗?"
“Sir, yes sir!” the soldiers said in unison.
"先生，是的先生!"士兵们齐声说。
“Fall in to your transports. Dearest Luna, soft and strong!” he called out.
"集合到你们的运输船上。最亲爱的卢娜，柔软而坚强!"他大声喊道。
“Let us honor you in song!” the soldiers called out in unison in return. He saluted them, and they returned it. The other officers snapped out for them to get to their transports.
"让我们以歌声向你致敬!"士兵们齐声回应。他向他们行礼，他们就还礼。其他军官迅速叫他们上运输机。
The ponies and lone zebra rushed to the waiting skywagons, and minutes later they were lifting off and flying southward through the night. The usual Hoofington drizzle hissed against the covered roof as they flew through the darkness. The soldiers waited in rows, occasionally talking in low voices. This was how I learned that zebras also had exceptional hearing.
小马和孤独的斑马冲向等在那里的运货马车，几分钟后，它们起飞向南，穿过夜空。当他们在黑暗中飞行时，像往常一样，胡芬顿的毛毛细雨在有顶棚上发出嘶嘶声。士兵们排成一排等候，偶尔低声交谈。这就是为什么我知道斑马也有特殊的听力。
“What the hell is that stripe doing here?” one soldier mare asked in a murmur.
"这该死的条纹怎么会在这儿?"一个士兵母马低声问道。
“Shut your mouth, idiot. That’s a Proditor. She’s the sergeant’s very special somepon… er… zebra,” a stallion said darkly.
"闭上你的嘴，白痴。那是个制造商。她是那个中士非常特别的......呃......斑马,"一匹种马阴沉地说。
“Oh, gross. You’re telling me that the sarge is rutting with a damned stripe?” the mare said in disgust. “I can’t believe I asked to transfer to this unit.”
"哦，真恶心。你是说中士正在用该死的条纹发情?"母马厌恶地说。"真不敢相信我要求调到这个部门来。"
“Transfer out, then. She’s the last of the Marauders. Sarge Twist is a fucking legend. I’d rather serve with her than a whiny transfer that hasn’t had a dozen of those damned zebra robots hunting her down,” the stallion grumbled.
""那就调走吧。她是最后一个劫掠者。中士特维斯特是个传奇人物。"我宁愿和她一起服役，也不愿意在没有十几个该死的斑马机器人追捕她的情况下，做一个牢骚满腹的调职工作,"这匹种马嘟囔着。
“Oh yeah? Well I’ve been hearing folks talk saying they’re gonna give her a retirement pretty quick. I mean, you got to ask yourself, when the horseapples fall, is she going to save us or save the damned stripe?” the mare snorted.
"哦，是吗？我听到有人说他们很快就会让她退休。我的意思是，你得问问自己，当马苹果掉下来的时候，她会救我们还是救那该死的条纹呢?"母马哼了一声。
Then every stallion and mare turned almost as one and glared at her. The stallion then muttered softly, “You better shut your mother bucking mouth right now, or you won’t get the chance to transfer. Understand?”
然后，每匹种马和母马几乎像一个人一样转过身来，瞪着她。然后那匹种马轻声咕哝道:"你最好马上闭上你妈妈的臭嘴，否则你就没有机会转学了。明白吗?"
“That’s enough talking. Zip it,” Twist said as she walked along the center aisle to stand beside Shujaa. “They’re chatty...” the mare muttered.
"说够了吧。"闭嘴,"特威斯特一边说着一边沿着中间的过道站在舒贾旁边。"他们很健谈......"母马咕哝着。
“Is it true?” Shujaa asked in a near whisper.
"这是真的吗?"舒贾用近乎耳语的声音问道。
“It’s not true till they take my stripes,” the soldier said, looking at the zebra with the tiniest smile. “If something should happen out there...”
"除非他们剥了我的条纹，否则这不是真的,"士兵说，看着斑马，脸上露出一丝微笑。"如果外面发生了什么事......"
“Nothing’s going to happen. This is just a wild goose chase with hazard pay.
"什么都不会发生。这只不过是有危险津贴的白费力气而已。
There’s no way the First Legion would defect,” Shujaa replied evenly.
第一军团不可能叛变,"舒贾平静地回答。
“Then this is probably a trap,” the pale mare countered. “So if anything should happen...”
"那么这可能是个陷阱,"苍白的母马反驳道。"所以，如果发生了什么事......"
“I know. I know. I’ll take care of your pet,” the zebra said with a smirk.
"我知道。我知道。"我会照顾你的宠物的,"斑马傻笑着说。
“She is not a pet!” Twist retorted.
"她不是宠物!"特维斯特反驳道。
“I stand corrected. Your feral beast.”
"我认错。你的野兽。"
“You’re impossible,” Twist sighed and then shook her head.
"你真是不可理喻,"特威斯特叹了口气，然后摇了摇头。
“And you’re adorable. She’ll be safe with me. Now hurry up, glare, and say something intimidating before I kiss you in front of your soldiers and make you blush,” the zebra breathed.
"你很可爱。她和我在一起很安全。现在快点，瞪着眼睛，说一些吓人的话，在我在你的士兵面前亲吻你，让你脸红之前,"斑马低声说。
Twist did so, barking out instructions, making rude speculation about some ponies’ lineage, warning everypony to check their fire, and making sure their gear was ready. Most of the soldiers were paying attention, but the soldier mare who’d been talking before did so with a poorly concealed sneer.
特威斯特照做了，大声发出指示，粗鲁地猜测一些小马的血统，警告每一匹小马检查它们的火力，并确保它们的装备准备就绪。大多数士兵都在注意听，但是那匹以前说过话的士兵的母马却带着一丝不易掩饰的冷笑说道。
The skywagons set down into the night in the middle of a barren landscape. The rain poured into gullies and arroyos, and ponies blundered about a bit as they adjusted. Shujaa had no problem moving about, her unarmored hooves barely slipping in the mud.
空中马车在一片贫瘠的土地上降落到夜色中。大雨倾盆而下，小马在适应过程中有点跌跌撞撞。舒嘉动来动去没有任何问题，没有盔甲的蹄子几乎不能在泥浆中滑动。
“Proditor,” a mare called out in a serious voice. Shujaa spotted one of the officer ponies. “I’m counting on you. If the First Legion is out here, you’re our best chance to find them. If this is a trap, you’re the best equipped to warn us.”
"普罗迪托,"一匹母马严肃地喊道。舒贾发现了一匹军官用的小马。"我就指望你了。如果第一军团在这里，你是我们找到他们的最好机会。如果这是一个陷阱，你最有能力警告我们。"
“Yes ma’am, Captain Grizzly. I’ll send up a red flare if this is hostile. Green if I find a group for extraction,” the zebra said crisply. The sergeants were all making sure everypony could say ‘get down’, ‘drop your weapon’, and ‘follow’ in Zebra as she moved out with the grace and silence of a ghost. She leapt across the gullies and skirted around rocks effortlessly. Soon the soldiers were left behind as she moved through the almost absolute darkness.
"是的，夫人，灰熊队长。如果有敌情，我会发射红色信号弹。绿色如果我找到一组提取,"斑马爽快地说。士官们都在确保每匹小马都能说'趴下','放下武器','跟着'斑仔，因为她像幽灵一样优雅而安静地离开了。她跳过峡谷，毫不费力地绕过岩石。不久，当她穿过几乎是绝对黑暗的时候，士兵们被留在了后面。
Then she came across blasted robots in the muck. They weren’t like Protectaponies. These were sleek and black. They reminded me more of the cyberdogs I’d seen in the tunnels. First she came across one. Then three. Then a half dozen. Some were larger than others, resembling mechanical manticores. “What are hunter killers doing here?” she murmured in worry, and proceeded with more caution.
然后她遇到了在淤泥中被炸毁的机器人。他们不像是守护者。这双鞋是黑色的，光滑的。它们让我想起了我在隧道里见过的赛博狗。首先她遇到了一个。然后是三个。然后是半打。有些比其他的大，类似于机械人体。"猎人杀手在这里做什么?"她忧心忡忡地咕哝了一声，然后更加小心翼翼地开始了。
She must have been moving for at least an hour; every now and then she could see the soldiers in the distance trying to pick their way through the rain and mud and making terrible time at it. The rain was letting up, but the water still sheeted down into the muddy crevasses. Even Shujaa had to watch her hooves to avoid sliding in.
她一定已经走了至少一个小时了;时不时地，她能看到远处的士兵们在雨水和泥泞中艰难地走着，而且走得很慢。雨已经停了，但是水还是流进了泥泞的裂缝。就连舒贾也不得不小心自己的蹄子，以免滑进去。
Then there were four zebras in the dark twenty feet away. They wore black armor that blended in with the night, and only the stripes on their faces gave any
接着，二十英尺外的黑暗中出现了4只斑马。他们穿着黑色的盔甲，与夜晚融为一体，只有他们脸上的条纹才显得那么明显
hint to their species. And the instant that Shujaa saw them, they saw her. Almost in unison, they lifted their rifles and they stood like Lancer. The rifles let out a stream of soft trills without even a flicker of muzzle flash.
暗示他们的种族。Shujaa一看见他们，他们就看见了她。几乎同时，他们举起步枪，像枪骑兵一样站着。步枪发出一连串柔和的颤音，枪口没有一丝闪光。
As quick as a ghost and silent as death, the knife was in her teeth. She moved around and then was on them. A slice disemboweled one. A second was sent staggering back as a double hoof kick collapsed his sternum. A third was knocked onto the wet ground, and then all four of Shujaa’s hooves came down on his throat. She closed to the last, shoved his rifle barrel up, then plunged the dagger into his chest. Then there was a trill, and Shujaa’s torso exploded in pain. The first zebra, his guts in the mud, was still fighting. In fact, he didn’t seem impaired at all.
她像鬼魂一样迅速，像死神一样沉默，刀子就插在她的牙齿里。她四处走动，然后骑上了它们。内脏被掏空的一片。第二脚踢断了他的胸骨，他摇摇晃晃地退了回去。第三只被撞倒在潮湿的地上，然后Shujaa的四只蹄子都掉到了他的喉咙上。她靠近最后一个人，把他的枪管猛推起来，然后把匕首刺进他的胸膛。然后是一阵颤音，Shujaa的躯干在痛苦中爆炸了。第一只斑马，他的内脏在泥浆里，仍然在战斗。事实上，他看起来一点也没有受损。
Then two pale hooves came up from behind him and twisted his neck with a resounding crack. The zebra dropped, joining his entrails in the muck. Twist rushed up to Shujaa. “Are you okay?”
接着，两只苍白的蹄子从他身后跳出来，发出响亮的劈啪声扭断了他的脖子。斑马掉了下去，把它的内脏连在淤泥里。特威斯特冲向舒贾。"你还好吗?"
“They make zebras more disciplined than I remember. Most give up the fight when you spill their innards.” She pulled herself to her hooves. “I will be fine.” Indeed, I could feel the familiar sensation of magical regeneration slowly closing her wounds.
"他们让斑马比我记忆中更有纪律。当你把他们的内脏打翻在地时，大多数人都会放弃战斗。"她竭尽全力。"我会没事的。"事实上，我可以感觉到那种熟悉的神奇再生的感觉正在慢慢地愈合她的伤口。
“I guess you were right. Trap,” Twist said with a frown.
"我想你是对的。陷阱,"特威斯特皱着眉头说。
But Shujaa didn’t agree right away. Her eyes focused on the slain zebras. “I’m not so sure. These aren’t First Legion.” She turned them over so they were all on their backs. Something about them must have struck the mare, because Shujaa kept looking from one to the next. They all looked the same. Zebra stallions. Same black armor. Same weapons. Same stripes... and the gutted stallion hadn’t just spilled his organs. There were wires and cables dangling from that gory cavity.
但是Shujaa并没有马上同意。她的眼睛注视着被杀死的斑马。"我不太确定。这些不是第一军团。"她把他们翻过来，让他们都仰面朝天。一定是她们身上的什么东西撞到了母马，因为舒嘉一直在四处张望。他们看起来都一样。斑马种马。同样的黑色盔甲。同样的武器。同样的条纹......被掏空的种马不仅仅是把它的内脏都打翻了。血淋淋的洞里悬挂着电线和电缆。
“Now you see,” a voice said from the darkness in heavily accented Pony. “Now you see the depths our Caesar has sunk to. First machines without honor, and now these new abominations.” The speaker stepped closer, and I was struck by his powerful physique... and just how ragged he looked. More soldiers came staggering out of the gloom and drizzle. All were filthy, bedraggled, and wounded to some degree. The few who had barding and harnesses were in dire need of replacements.
"现在你看,"一个声音说，从黑暗中严重口音小马。"现在你看到我们的凯撒陷得有多深了吧。先是没有荣誉的机器，现在又是这些新的令人憎恶的东西。"演讲者走近了一些，我被他强壮的体格和衣衫褴褛的样子所震撼。更多的士兵踉踉跄跄地走出阴暗的蒙蒙细雨。所有的人都脏兮兮的，浑身脏兮兮的，而且不同程度地受了伤。少数有军装和马具的人急需更换。
“Legate Honorius,” Shujaa said breathlessly. He gave a weary nod.
"尊敬的使者,"舒贾上气不接下气地说。他疲倦地点了点头。
“What are they?” Twist asked as she stared down.
"它们是什么?"特威斯特低头问道。
“We do not know. A year ago, the first came. From a distant tribe, we were told. ‘The Children of Cóyotl’. They did not speak. Did not laugh. They sang no songs and told no stories. But they could kill. First singularly, then in threes and fours, then by the dozens they took the places of good and honorable soldiers.” He spat on their bodies. “We refused to accept them. Then we learned there was no refusal. If we would not, we would be replaced by them.” He gestured at the dozen zebra around him. “This is all that remains of the First Legion.”
"我们不知道。一年前，第一次来了。从一个遥远的部落，我们被告知。'TheChildrenofcyotl'.他们没有说话。没有笑。他们不唱歌，也不讲故事。但他们可以杀人。首先是三四个人，然后是几十个人，他们接替了优秀和光荣的士兵。"他向他们的身体吐唾沫。"我们拒绝接受他们。然后我们知道没有拒绝的意思。如果我们不这样做，我们就会被他们取代。"他指了指身边十几只斑马。"这是第一军团留下的所有东西。"
Shujaa gasped something in Zebra. Twist echoed her shocked tone, “This is all that’s left of a thousand soldiers?” He nodded grimly.
舒佳用斑马语喘着粗气。特威斯特用震惊的声调回应道:"这就是一千名士兵所剩下的全部吗?"他冷冷地点点头。
“We need to get you to safety. I know the Ministry of Awesome is going to want to hear about--”
"我们需要把你带到安全的地方。我知道棒极了部肯定想知道——"
“Contact!” a mare screamed in the night, and then the air filled with the buzz of two machine guns sweeping across the assembled zebras. Had they not been tired and worn, I was sure they would have been able to get to safety. Exhausted and out in the open, they were torn down by the spray of fire as the mare screamed hysterically. “Contact! Enemy contact! Enemy ambush!”
"接触!"一匹母马在夜里尖叫，然后空气中充满了两挺机关枪扫过斑马的嗡嗡声。如果他们没有疲惫和磨损，我确信他们能够到达安全的地方。当母马歇斯底里地尖叫时，他们筋疲力尽，暴露在空旷的地方，被火焰的喷射撕得粉碎。"接触！敌人来袭！敌人有埋伏!"
The injuries that Shujaa had sustained slowed her a bit. Some more of the wild spray caught her, knocking her back. Twist, however, was able to run to the side and keep out on her field of fire. She slid in the mud and slammed into the snide mare from the skywagon. “You fucking idiot! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Shujaa受的伤让她有点迟钝。更多的野性浪花抓住了她，把她的背撞了回来。然而，特威斯特能够跑到一边，避开她的火力区域。她滑倒在泥泞中，砰地一声撞上了那辆运货马车上的恶毒的母马。"你他妈的白痴！你他妈的以为你在干什么?"
The young earth pony slammed back. Had she been ten years younger, I was sure that Twist would have been able to take her. But with the mud, her hooves twisted out beneath her and she was sent sprawling.
那匹年轻的大地马猛地反击。如果她年轻十岁，我肯定特威斯特能够接受她。但是在泥泞中，她的蹄子在身体下面扭曲着，她被打得四脚朝天。
“What am I doing?! Killing the fucking enemy! That’s what we fucking do! That’s the point of this whole fucking war. To kill them all!” the mare yelled at Twist. “Not fuck them like some sympathizing whore!”
"我在干什么！杀死他妈的敌人！这就是我们该做的！这就是这场该死战争的意义所在。杀光他们!"母马对着扭扭大叫。"而不是像同情她们的妓女那样干她们!"
“No...” Shujaa croaked as she struggled to her hooves. “Come on... heal faster...” she panted.
"不......"舒贾一边挣扎着用蹄子尖尖叫着。"来吧，快点痊愈......"她气喘吁吁地说。
Twist charged; she had six feet to cover. After that six feet, she could take the mare apart in hoof to hoof combat.
特威斯特充了电，她有六英尺的距离要走。在那之后的六英尺，她可以把母马分成两半，用蹄子走战斗。
But the soldier only had to bite a bit.
但是士兵只需要咬一口。
The machine guns roared, ripping into Twist before she was halfway.
机关枪咆哮着，在她还没走到一半的时候就撕开了扭扭舞。
“No!” Shujaa screamed as she finally rose and charged as well. Blood dripped from the holes as the earth pony swung her barrels towards her and let out another burst of fire. Shujaa was fast, but not faster than a bullet. Bones shattered, flesh tore, but she didn’t drop.
"不!"Shujaa尖叫着，她终于站了起来，也冲了过去。血从洞里滴下来，那匹土地上的矮种马把她的木桶转向她，又放出一阵火焰。舒贾速度很快，但不比子弹快。骨头碎裂，肌肉撕裂，但她没有倒下。
“What? Are you upset because I killed your sympathizer fuck buddy?” she sneered and blasted Shujaa again, sending her to her knees. “Fucking Marauders. Only Big Macintosh was a Marauder. When he died, it was fucking over.” Shujaa got to her hooves again, and then screamed as more bullets ripped into her body. “Just fucking die already, you stupid stripe!” she screamed as she fired yet another burst. Every piece of Shujaa’s body burned as she rose yet again.
"什么？你难过是因为我杀了你的同情者炮友吗?"她冷笑了一声，又对舒雅大声叫骂，让她跪了下来。该死的掠夺者。只有大麦金托什才是掠夺者。当他死的时候，一切都结束了。"Shujaa的蹄子又动了一下，随着更多的子弹射入她的身体，她尖叫起来。"你他妈的去死吧，你这个蠢货!"她一边尖叫一边又开了一枪。当她再次站起来的时候，Shujaa身体的每一部分都在燃烧。
“What are you going to do? Huh, Stripe? What are you going to fucking do?!” she screamed and then bit the trigger once more.
"你打算怎么办？嗯，斯特普？你他妈的打算怎么办?!"她尖叫着，然后又一次扣动了扳机。
The guns were silent. Then the zebra’s bloody hooves lunged forward and grabbed the mare’s neck. “Wait till you’re out of ammo,” she said simply, and then twisted her whole body around. The mare’s neck snapped like a gunshot twice and she dropped, belly in the mud, face towards the rain.
枪声一片寂静。然后斑马鲜血淋漓的蹄子向前扑去，抓住了母马的脖子。"等你弹尽粮绝吧,"她简单地说，然后扭动着身体。母马的脖子像一个枪击两次折断，她跌倒了，腹部在泥，面对着雨。
Shujaa staggered her bleeding body to where Twist lay in the mud. The pale pony took short choking breaths, one eye looking up at the zebra. “Guess... I should... have told... her...good... bye...” she gasped, blood foaming at her mouth.
舒贾摇摇晃晃地走到特维斯特躺在泥泞中的地方。苍白的小马喘着粗气，一只眼睛抬头看着斑马。"猜猜看......我应该......应该告诉......她......再见......"她喘着气，口吐白沫。
“No,” Shujaa said as she slumped against her. The machine guns had ripped a hole through her combat armor and punched clear into her chest. I could see bloody black things in the hole, moving and glistening; it was never a good sign to see one’s insides outside.
"不,"舒贾一边说，一边靠在她身上。机关枪在她的战斗装甲上撕开了一个洞，一拳打在她的胸膛上。我能看到洞里血淋淋的黑色东西，在移动，闪闪发光;从外面看到一个人的内心从来不是一个好兆头。
“Remember... re... remember... you promised... please...” she begged, then slowly went limp. The squirming organs began to move slower and slower.
"记住......记住......你答应过......求你了......"她恳求着，然后慢慢地变得软弱无力。蠕动的器官开始移动得越来越慢。
“No!” Shujaa cried, saying something in Zebra before grabbing the knife from
"不!"舒嘉哭了，用斑马语说了些什么，然后从他手里夺过刀
her sheath. It was long and curved, with one razor sharp edge and one flat edge. Then she reversed it, closed her eyes... and then... then she plunged it into her chest. The pain was absolute; there was no way I could imagine anypony not passing out. Yet she persisted, and then the tip hit something solid in her ribcage. She gasped, blood pouring from her mouth and nostrils as she jerked the blade back and forth, twisting it, cracking her ribs.
她的鞘。它又长又弯，一边锋利，一边平坦。然后她反过来，闭上眼睛......然后......然后把它插进自己的胸口。疼痛是绝对的，我无法想象任何一匹小马不昏过去。然而她坚持住了，然后尖头撞到了她胸腔里的什么坚硬的东西上。她倒抽了一口冷气，血从她的嘴里和鼻孔里涌了出来，她猛地来回拉动刀片，扭动刀片，弄裂了她的肋骨。
Then the phoenix talisman came into view along with a torrent of blood. The knife tumbled from her hooves as she screamed and tore it from her own flesh. The pain vanished, replaced by a terrible numbness. Shujaa trembled as she cradled the little pink stone, moving it closer to the limp earth pony. With her last ounce of strength, she shoved it into the hole. Then she collapsed on her side in the mud.
这时，凤凰护身符和一股血流出现在眼前。当她尖叫时，刀子从她的蹄子上滚了下来，从她自己的肉上撕下来。疼痛消失了，取而代之的是一种可怕的麻木。舒贾摇着那块粉红色的小石头，把它移近那匹软绵绵的泥土小马，浑身颤抖。她用尽最后一点力气，把它推进洞里。然后她倒在泥地里。
“Please...” she whispered... “please...”
"请......"她低声说......"请......"
Then there was a pink glow in Twist’s body. Those wet organs began to move more and more, the wounds closing. But then everything was getting very dark, very cold, and very quiet. “Aeternum vestrum...” she whispered, and then all was silent.
接着，特威斯特的身体里出现了粉红色的光芒。那些湿漉漉的器官开始移动得越来越多，伤口愈合了。但是后来一切都变得非常黑暗，非常寒冷，非常安静。"aetnumvestrum..."她低声说，然后一切都沉默了。
oooOOOooo
噢噢噢
I pulled myself slowly from that deep well, leaving the rest of the images behind. When I emerged completely, there was a hazy light sticking to the end of my horn. I fumbled a few seconds, then grabbed an orb with my fingers and lifted it to the light. Some of the glow was sucked into the orb till it was filled. Finally, I relaxed, and the luminescent fog was sucked back into the filly’s brow.
我慢慢地把自己从那口深井里拉了出来，把其他的画面抛在脑后。当我完全出来的时候，我的角末端有一片朦胧的光。我笨拙地摸索了几秒钟，然后用手指抓住一个球体，把它举到光亮处。一部分光芒被吸入球体，直到它被充满。最后，我放松了下来，冷冷的雾气又被吸进了小姑娘的额头。
“Well... that was... um... interesting...” I said as I tried to look at my own horn. My whole head felt like it’d been ripped open too. I wondered if I had burnt out my horn again, but I was too disoriented to check. I could still feel that knife probing inside my chest. “Okay. Good thing you’re used to pain,” I murmured.
"嗯......那......嗯......有意思......"我一边说，一边试着看着自己的喇叭。我整个头都感觉像被撕开了一样。我不知道我是不是又把我的喇叭烧坏了，但是我太迷茫了，无法辨认。我还能感觉到那把刀刺进我的胸膛。"好吧。还好你已经习惯了疼痛,"我低声说。
Rampage swayed and rubbed her noggin. “Did you... was there... I mean...” She bit her lip, her eyes both craving and dreading answers.
狂暴的暴怒摇晃着她的脑袋。"你有没有......在那儿......我是说......"她咬着嘴唇，眼睛渴望着答案，也害怕着答案。
“I can tell you how the talisman got from Shujaa to Twist,” I groaned. “She put it there herself.”
"我可以告诉你这个护身符是怎么从舒加到扭转的,"我呻吟着。"是她自己放进去的。"
Slowly, I rose to my hooves. “I need to go lie down. Watch the memory when you’re ready. Just... it hurts. A lot. Okay?” And with that I turned and staggered out the door and back into the living room.
慢慢地，我站了起来。"我要去躺一会儿。当你准备好的时候，注意你的记忆。只是...很痛。很多。好吗?"说完，我转过身，踉踉跄跄地走出门，回到起居室。
Where we had company.
我们有同伴的地方。
A pegasus mare sat calmly in a wooden chair while Scotch Tape and P-21 sat together on the couch. Glory sat perched on a stool, looking utterly petrified, her body completely covered by the sheet. P-21’s grass pie was laid out on plates, and they all held teacups, but only the newcomer was drinking. Her coat was a light dove gray and her mane a collection of purples, lavenders, and highlights of pink. Even though she had the ragged look of somepony used to the Wasteland, there was some graceful quality to her I couldn’t quite shake. Her flank had a brand on it that was nearly identical to the one that had been forced upon Glory.
一匹飞马静静地坐在木椅上，苏格兰胶带和P-21一起坐在沙发上。晨辉坐在凳子上，看上去完全被吓呆了，她的身体完全被床单盖住了。P-21的草饼摆在盘子里，他们都拿着茶杯，但只有新来的人在喝酒。她的外套是浅鸽灰色的，鬃毛是紫色、紫色和亮粉色的组合。尽管她有一种曾经在荒原上生活过的小马的粗糙外表，但是她身上还是有一种我无法摆脱的优雅气质。她的侧翼上有一个烙印，几乎和强加在晨辉身上的烙印一模一样。
“Oh, hello,” she said pleasantly as she set her cup down. “You must be Security. Or do you go by Blackjack? I’ve heard so much about you.”
"哦，你好,"她放下杯子，愉快地说。"你一定是保安。或者你用黑杰克？我听说了很多关于你的事。"
“Nice to meet you,” I muttered in a daze and sat down hard. “Um... who are you?”
"很高兴见到你,"我茫然地喃喃自语，然后艰难地坐了下来。"嗯......你是谁?"
The mare smiled gently. “My name is Dawn. I was hoping to speak to you... and I was wondering if you could tell me where my daughter Morning Glory could be found.”
母马温柔地笑了。"我叫道恩。我希望能和你谈谈......我想知道你是否能告诉我在哪里可以找到我的女儿牵牛花。"
 
Footnote: Maximum Level Reached.
脚注:已达到的最高水平。
 
Author's Notes:
作者笔记:
(Author’s note: well folks. I’m sorry for the delay. But my editors put in an amazing fourteen hour long stint to get this finished and to you. So please give them your thanks for their valuable time. I couldn’t have possibly done this without them! As some may know, I got a new job teaching 11th graders. I honestly have no idea what my posting schedule will be like. Folks have work and Hinds has classes, but I’m going to keep chugging along for as long as I can and as long as you want me too. Thanks to so many who helped support me and this story. Though I won’t be taking
(作者注:好了，伙计们。很抱歉耽搁了您的时间。但是我的编辑们投入了令人惊异的14个小时的精力来完成这本书并把它交给你。所以请对他们宝贵的时间表示感谢。没有他们我根本做不到！也许有人知道，我找到了一份教11年级学生的新工作。我真的不知道我的发帖时间表会是什么样子。大家都要工作，辛德也要上课，但是只要你们需要我，我就会一直工作下去。感谢那么多支持我和这个故事的人。虽然我不会
down the tip jar, it’s just for gratitude now, not paying my bills. More precious is the feedback. I hope this was a decent chapter. As always, thanks and love to Kkat for creating FoE in the first place. And once again, huge thanks to Hinds, Bronode, and Snipehamster for putting in the time and hard work to make this story what it is.)
小费罐里，现在只是为了感激，不用付我的账单了。更宝贵的是反馈。我希望这是一个体面的章节。像往常一样，感谢和喜爱Kkat在第一时间创造了敌人。再一次，非常感谢Hinds，Bronode和Snipehamster投入时间和努力，使这个故事成为现在这样。)