“When all the truth does is make your heart ache, sometimes a lie is easier to take.”
"当所有的真相都令你心痛时，有时谎言更容易被接受。"
The sea rolled back and forth in front of me, slowly breathing its hushed breath on the rocks far below. The cliff rose in an almost sheer face up to the chiseled edge on which I sat. I looked out at the waves slowly marching to their deaths against the bottom of the cliff. Once, there’d been a rail along the clifftop path, but now there was nothing but rusting lengths of pipe and dead grass. I closed my eyes, listening to the softly breathing water. I pressed the cool metal barrel beneath my chin. Was this how Mini felt before she died? I took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
大海在我面前前前后后翻滚，在远处的岩石上缓慢地呼吸着它那宁静的气息。悬崖陡峭地耸立起来，几乎与我坐的那块轮廓分明的峭壁相连。我向外望去，海浪缓缓地向悬崖底部移动，直到它们死去。从前，沿着悬崖顶上的小路有一条铁轨，但现在除了锈迹斑斑的管子和枯死的草，什么也没有了。我闭上眼睛，听着水轻轻的呼吸。我把冰凉的金属桶压在下巴下面。这就是米妮死前的感受吗？我深深地吸了一口气，然后慢慢地吐出来。
I was over. This was done.
我结束了。这件事已经结束了。
I pulled the trigger.
我扣动了扳机。
* * *
* * *
I was dropped on the cold, wet grass, coughing and gagging with foam on my lips as my body struggled for breath. Maybe, for once, I would catch a break, and the chlorine I’d inhaled would finish me off for good. My eyes burned and my hide itched terribly as rain pattered down. I felt a potion bottle pressed against my mouth and clenched my jaws, fighting, coughing and snorting until the healing draught had been emptied mostly onto my face.
我跌倒在又冷又湿的草地上，咳嗽、呕吐，嘴唇上还有泡沫，我的身体挣扎着呼吸。也许，这一次，我会休息一下，我吸入的氯气会永远地结束我的生命。雨点打在我的皮上，我的眼睛发烧，痒得厉害。我感到有一个药瓶压在我的嘴上，我咬紧牙关，挣扎着，咳嗽着，鼻息着，直到药水大部分都倒在我的脸上。
“Help me!” Glory gasped as I writhed. Each breath felt like it was my last… if only… but my body jerked to take another sharp, shallow inhalation. My hooves scraped against my chest, as if I were trying to tear open my body and toss away my burning lungs. My eyes stared wide, the chemicals burning the glowing
"救救我!"当我翻滚的时候，晨辉倒抽了一口凉气。每一次呼吸都感觉像是我的最后一次......如果......但我的身体抽搐着又一次剧烈而浅浅的吸气。我的蹄子摩擦着我的胸膛，好像我试图撕开我的身体，扔掉我燃烧的肺。我的眼睛睁得大大的，化学物质燃烧着我的眼睛
surfaces as I squirmed, rear legs kicking up clods as they spasmed and tried to get me away from the pony I didn’t deserve.
我扭动着身体，后腿踢起土块，它们抽搐着，试图让我远离那匹我不配拥有的小马。
P-21 sat apart, eyes closed, head bowed as he shook with silent tears. He glanced at me, pain etched in his blue gaze. Pain and anger… good. Be angry at me, P-
P-21分开坐着，闭着眼睛，低着头，无声地流着眼泪。他瞥了我一眼，蓝色的眼睛里充满了痛苦。痛苦和愤怒...很好。生我的气，p-
Take it out on me, I mentally begged, but he came over and tried to hold me down.
拿我出气吧，我在心里恳求着，但他走过来想把我按住。
Rampage’s own haunted look was masked by her frustration as I kicked her soundly in the face. With a sickening crunch, her nose shattered. A moment later, it crunched back into place. She grabbed my rear legs and forced them still.
当我狠狠地踢她的脸时，狂暴的表情被她的沮丧所掩盖。随着令人作呕的嘎吱声，她的鼻子粉碎了。过了一会儿，它又嘎吱嘎吱地回到了原位。她抓住我的后腿，强迫它们不动。
Scotch Tape merely stared in shock as she looked from me to the tunnel entrance in horror. Congratulations, welcome to your first taste of the Wasteland. She pushed back her goggles, her green eyes widening as the young olive mare muttered in shock. “They’re… they’re dead? Everypony? She killed everypony?!”
当她惊恐地从我身边望向隧道入口时，透明胶带只是震惊地盯着我。祝贺你们，欢迎来到你们的第一次荒原之旅。她推开护目镜，绿色的眼睛睁得大大的，年轻的橄榄色母马震惊地咕哝着。"他们...他们死了？每匹小马？她杀了所有的马?!"
“They were infected,” Glory sobbed as she pulled out another purple potion, fighting to get it down my throat. “She had no choice.”
"他们被感染了,"晨辉抽泣着，又拿出一瓶紫色药水，努力想把它灌进我的喉咙。"她别无选择。"
Lacunae stepped next to me. “Of course she didn’t. Necessity is the mother of atrocity,” she said as she knelt and used her magic to force my thrashing body to still. “Shhh… hush now,” she murred as she touched her glowing horn to mine. There was a flash, and the world swirled away.
空隙走到我旁边。"她当然没有。需要是暴行之母,"她跪下来，用魔法迫使我抽打的身体安静下来时说。"嘘...嘘，现在,"她低声说，她碰了碰我发光的角。一道闪光，整个世界旋转着消失了。
oooOOOooo
噢噢噢
A memory… just like a memory orb. I supposed it made sense. Unicorn magic extracted memories, and the alicorn could read minds, so I guessed she could swap memories. ‘We live in each other’s dreams’, she’d told me. I wondered if this was Lacunae’s memory, or the Goddess’s, or somepony else’s? From what I’d heard, it could be from any one of hundreds, possibly thousands of ponies.
一个记忆...就像一个记忆球。我想这是有道理的。独角兽魔法提取记忆，而独角兽可以读心，所以我猜她可以交换记忆。我们生活在彼此的梦中，她告诉我。我不知道这是拉库奈的记忆，还是女神的记忆，抑或是其他小马的记忆？据我所知，它可能来自成百上千匹小马中的任何一匹。
You’re a murderer, Blackjack.
你是个杀人犯Blackjack。
So… first things first. Body? Mare. Unicorn. A little older than me, I suspected. The place? A long, boring-ass hallway. It looked familiar. Really familiar. I caught a glance at a nameplate beside a door. ‘Colonel Cupcake’. So this was Miramare, not yet all blown up. It was late at night, but this didn’t have the feel
所以...先说重要的事。身体？母马。独角兽。我怀疑他比我大一点。那个地方？又长又无聊的走廊。它看起来很眼熟。真的很熟悉。我瞥了一眼门边的铭牌。纸杯蛋糕上校。这就是米拉马雷，还没有完全爆炸。当时已经很晚了，但是没有那种感觉
of a patrol. No… from the way she moved, it was more of a pensive wandering.
巡逻队。不......从她走路的方式来看，更像是一种沉思的徘徊。
Huh… I could relate.
我能理解。
Now if she’d only pass by something shiny so I could get a good look at her.
现在如果她只是路过一些闪闪发光的东西，这样我就可以好好看看她了。
You’re a fucking murderer, Blackjack.
你是个该死的杀人犯Blackjack。
“She lied to me, Vanity,” a stallion with a deep voice said softly somewhere nearby. The voice was thick with the sound of tears. Slowly, the mare drifted closer to a closed door, standing in the spill of light underneath it. “She’s been lying to me since we first met.” From outside, I could hear the dull boom of thunder and the soft hiss of rain on the roof.
"她骗了我，虚荣,"一匹种马用低沉的声音轻轻地说，附近的某个地方。声音里充满了泪水的声音。慢慢地，母马漂移到一个关着的门附近，站在门下溢出的灯光下。"从我们第一次见面起，她就一直在骗我。"从外面，我可以听到闷雷的隆隆声和雨点打在屋顶上的轻微嘶嘶声。
I heard Vanity’s patient sigh. “I know this is hard for you, but take a deep breath and think about it a little.”
我听到了虚荣耐心的叹息。"我知道这对你来说很难，但是深呼吸，好好想想。"
“What’s there to think about?” he said with a sniff. “It’s over. I trusted her, trusted her with my life, with my heart, and she lied to me. It’s like… it’s as if my sisters lied to me. I just didn’t think it could happen.”
"有什么好想的?"他闻了闻说。"结束了。我信任她，用我的生命，用我的心信任她，而她却对我撒谎。就好像...就好像我的姐妹们骗了我。我只是觉得这不可能发生。"
“How’d you find out?” Vanity asked softly.
"你怎么知道的?"瓦妮特轻声问道。
“I had some suspicions after running into her at Maripony. It just seemed awfully convenient. Wonderful, but convenient.” He gave a deep sigh. “And then there were the things that she knew that nopony should know. I knew something was up. Then, we were mugged and it all came out. After that, she confessed.” He sobbed softly. “She was using me…”
"在Maripony碰到她之后，我有些怀疑。这看起来太方便了。很好，但很方便。"他深深地叹了口气。"还有一些她知道的事情，小马不应该知道。我就知道出事了。然后，我们被抢劫了，所有的事情都说了出来。在那之后，她坦白了。"他轻轻地抽泣着。"她在利用我......"
“I know it’s hard, but you should forgive her,” Vanity said calmly, reasonably.
"我知道这很难，但你应该原谅她,"瓦妮特平静而理智地说。
There’s no forgiveness for what you did.
你的所作所为是不可原谅的。
Shut up, brain. I’m trying to listen to other ponies’ problems.
闭嘴，布莱恩。我在倾听其他小马的问题。
“Listen to what you just told me. You knew, she confessed. Do you think she still cares about you?”
"听听你刚才对我说的话。你知道的，她坦白道。你认为她还在乎你吗?"
“You don’t understand! She lied to me!”
"你不明白！她骗了我!"
“So you’re too good to lie to?” Vanity said with a chuckle. It wasn’t returned.
"这么说，你太厉害了，骗不了你?"瓦妮特笑着说。它没有被退回。
“She had reasons to lie, and, unlike with most ponies, hers were actually valid. Think of her job. She had to lie to you. To everypony. How else could she keep doing what she has to?”
"她有理由撒谎，而且不像大多数小马那样，她的谎言实际上是有根据的。想想她的工作。她不得不对你撒谎。敬每一匹小马。不然她怎么能继续做她必须做的事呢?"
“I understand all that. Still, it hurts.”
"我明白这一切。尽管如此，这还是很伤人。"
“If you expected to go through your whole life never getting hurt by somepony you love, then this is long overdue,” Vanity replied firmly. “Yes, she hurt you, but she didn’t mean to hurt you. You have to ask yourself: is it worth losing all the good times over this one mistake?”
瓦妮特坚定地回答说:"如果你希望你的一生都不会受到你喜欢的小马的伤害，那么这是早就应该做的。"。"是的，她伤害了你，但她不是故意要伤害你的。你必须问问自己:这一个错误值得你失去所有的美好时光吗?"
Killing my stable wasn’t a mistake. It was an atrocity. I should have done better…
杀了我的马厩不是个错误。这是一种暴行。我应该做得更好..。
The mare turned away, and the hallway seemed to smear in my vision, and... I found myself in a kneeling stallion in a well-lit office decorated in purple and gold. Ooohkay; apparently I’d switched to a different memory. There were numerous books stacked up in heaps on the tables, the desk, and the floor. A purple scale hung from the side of the desk’s terminal on a braided length of purple hair. A figurine of Fluttershy and another of Rainbow Dash sat beside it.
那匹母马转过身去，走廊似乎在我的视线里模糊了，然后......我发现自己是一匹跪在灯火辉煌的办公室里的种马，办公室里装饰着紫色和金色的装饰。显然我换了一种不同的记忆。桌子上、书桌上和地板上堆着许多书。一根紫色的刻度盘挂在桌子的终端上，上面编着长长的紫色头发。它旁边坐着一个小蝴蝶和另一个彩虹飞跑的雕像。
My host was connecting some kind of device to a series of wires, working with great urgency, when I heard a mare calling out from outside the room. “Goldenblood! I’d like a word with you in my office, please.” My host suddenly gasped, pushed the panel back against the wall, and levitated the screws back into place. The door opened, and my host dove under the large oak desk, curling up as tight as he could.
我的主人正在把某种设备连接到一系列电线上，非常紧急地工作着，这时我听到一匹母马从房间外面叫起来。"金色血统！请到我办公室来一下。"我的主人突然倒抽了一口冷气，把仪表板往后推靠在墙上，把螺丝放回原位。门开了，我的主人潜到大橡木桌子底下，蜷缩得尽可能紧。
I heard the familiar wheezing rasp, the dry coughs. “Yes, Twilight?”
我听到熟悉的喘息声，干咳声。"是的，《暮光之城》?"
“What is Project Chimera?” My host saw her lift a folder from the bookcase behind the desk, floating it towards the middle of the office. Fortunately, there was a mirror in the corner of the office, and I could see Goldenblood facing Twilight Sparkle. Both looked… tired. Old. Angry. The scars on Goldenblood’s hide had healed somewhat, but his metallic eyes had lost none of their conviction. Twilight looked like she’d aged a lot recently. Her eyes had developed wrinkles in the corners, and her mane was growing fainter and grayer in certain streaks.
"什么是奇美拉计划?"我的主人看见她从桌子后面的书架上拿起一个文件夹，漂浮在办公室中间。幸运的是，在办公室的角落里有一面镜子，我可以看到金色的血液正对着紫悦。两个人看起来都很疲惫。旧的。愤怒。金血王兽皮上的伤疤已经愈合了一些，但是他那双金属般的眼睛并没有失去它们的信念。暮光之城看起来像是她最近老了很多。她的眼角已经出现了皱纹，鬃毛在某些条纹中变得越来越模糊和灰暗。
He didn’t answer right away, locking eyes with her before giving a dismissive
他没有马上回答，眼睛紧紧盯着她，然后不屑一顾地回答
wave of his hoof. “A defunct and failed branch of research, Twilight. A stab in the dark between the M.o.P. and the M.A.S.,” Goldenblood rasped softly, but with resolute conviction.
挥动他的蹄子。"暮光之城是研究的一个已经停止并且失败的分支。在军事行动组织和军事行动组织之间的黑暗中刺了一刀,"金布拉德轻声地说，但带着坚定的信念。
“Failed? I read the reports. The fusion megaspell worked! It worked!” She waved the folder like she was going to strike him with it. “Why am I only finding out about this now? Why did I have to find out from Dr. Trueblood and not from you? Why did you keep this from me?” There was a hurt tone in her voice.
"失败了？我看了报告。这个融合的megaspell起作用了！它起作用了!"她挥舞着文件夹，好像要用它打他似的。"为什么我现在才知道这件事？为什么我要从特鲁布拉德医生那里知道而不是从你那里？你为什么不告诉我?"她的声音里有一种伤害的语气。
“Dr. Trueblood is an intellectual opportunist who takes far too much glee in debasing and deforming ponies, and I’ll see him transferred to Yellow River for this. He can spend the rest of his career cleaning out bedpans and dealing with zebra hoofrot.”
"特鲁布拉德博士是一个聪明的机会主义者，他太喜欢贬低和扭曲小马了，我要把他转移到黄河去。他可以在余下的职业生涯中清理便盆和处理斑马帽。"
“Goldenblood,” Twilight began when he turned away from her.
"金色的血,"暮光开始时，他离开了她。
“It was a mistake, Twilight!” he said sharply, then hunched his shoulders as he started to gasp and wheeze for breath. Still, he struggled to continue. “We fused ponies with cockatrices… ponies with diamond dogs… ponies with manticores and griffins and baby dragons. Baby dragons, Twilight!” he said, turning and pacing, his head still hanging low. “Every fusion was a mistake. It doesn’t matter the powers the test subjects gained; every time, something fundamental was lost.”
"这是个错误，暮光!"他厉声说，然后弓起肩膀，开始喘气和喘息。尽管如此，他还是挣扎着继续下去。"我们把小马和鹦鹉融合在一起......小马和钻石狗融合在一起......小马和多毛狮鹫、狮鹫和幼龙融合在一起。小龙，暮光之城!"他说，转身踱步，头还低垂着。"每次核聚变都是一个错误。测试对象获得的能力并不重要，每次都会失去一些基本的东西。"
“But that just means the research was a failure, Goldenblood. You just missed out on that missing element. If you’d brought this to me sooner--“ she began, but he cut her off with hacking. To my horror, I saw blood on his lips. Had his body still not healed from its injuries after all this time? “Golden!” She started to rush to her terminal, and my host clenched his teeth as he drew as far back under the desk as possible.
"但那只是意味着这项研究是失败的，金血王。你只是错过了那个缺失的元素。如果你早点把这个给我的话——"她开始说，但是他用黑客的话打断了她。令我惊恐的是，我看见他的嘴唇上有血。经过这么长时间，他的身体还没有从伤痛中痊愈吗？"黄金!"她开始冲向她的终端，我的主人紧咬牙关，尽可能缩回到桌子下面。
“I’m fine... Twilight,” he gasped. “Fine… just… let me catch my breath…” He sat as she slowly approached him again, my host relaxing slightly. “Twilight… we’re not going to win this war by turning into monsters. I tried to explain that to Trueblood. He couldn’t care less. I don’t know what he’s told you about Chimera, but it was a mistake. It has nothing more to offer Equestria.”
"我很好......暮光之城,"他喘着气说。"好吧......只是......让我喘口气......"他坐在那里，她慢慢地再次靠近他，我的主人轻轻地放松了一下。"暮光之城......我们不会通过变成怪物来赢得这场战争。我试着向特鲁布拉德解释。他一点也不在乎。我不知道他跟你说了什么关于奇美拉的事，但那是个错误。它已经没有什么可以为小马国提供的了。"
I have nothing to offer but death.
除了死亡，我什么也不能奉献。
Not true. I saved one. By one. By one.
不是这样的。我救了一个。一个人。一个人。
A point one percent success rate doesn’t excuse a ninety-nine point nine percent fatality rate.
一个百分之一的成功率不能成为百分之九十九的死亡率的借口。
Great, my mind was using math to damn me.
太好了，我的大脑在用数学来诅咒我。
“Nothing. Goldenblood… think about it! If we can alter the megaspell, perfect the mutagenic element, we could do more than just fuse ponies with non-ponies. We could create alicorns!” she said, her eyes lighting to the possibilities. “Imagine dozens, or hundreds of Princesses fighting on our side!”
"没什么。金色血统...想想吧！如果我们可以改变巨型小马，完善诱变因素，我们可以做的不仅仅是引入非小马的小马。我们可以创造出独角兽!"她说着，眼中闪烁着各种可能性。"想象一下，几十个，甚至几百个公主站在我们这边作战!"
“No!” he shouted and struck her hard across the face with a hoof. He looked just as shocked as she at what he’d just done. “I… I’m sorry…”
"不!"他大叫着，用蹄子狠狠地踢了她的脸。他看起来和她一样震惊，因为他刚刚做了什么。"我.....。.对不起......"
Twilight rubbed where he’d hit her, looking confused and angry, but still concerned as he coughed and retched, his lips spattered pink with bright specks. Twilight looked at him for a long moment before her face hardened and she said gravely, “It’s my duty to pursue any and all research to win this war, Golden. This should have been brought to me from the start. I’m going to launch a full review of Project Chimera. If it’s a dead end, like you said, then we’ll put it to rest for good.” Goldenblood crumpled a little before her, gasping for air as he wheezed. “I want access to every file. Every book. Every sample. Every test subject.”
暮色在他打她的地方擦来擦去，他看上去困惑而愤怒，但是当他咳嗽和干呕的时候仍然很担心，他的嘴唇溅出明亮的粉色斑点。黄昏看了他很长时间，脸色变得僵硬起来，她严肃地说:"为了赢得这场战争，我有责任进行一切研究。这应该从一开始就带给我。我准备对Chimera计划进行全面审查。如果像你说的那样是个死胡同，那么我们就让它永远消失。"金色的血在她面前皱了一下，喘着粗气。"我要访问每个文件。每一本书。每个样本。每一个测试对象。"
He closed his eyes. “It’s all at Hippocratic Research, Ministry Mare.” His whisper barely reached my host’s ear. “But remember, nothing good comes from making monsters, Twilight.”
他闭上了眼睛。"这些都在希波克拉底研究所，母马部。"他的耳语几乎没有传到主人的耳朵里。"但是记住，制造怪物没有好处，《暮光之城》。"
“I won’t, Goldenblood,” she replied, sounding tired. “I’m trying to find something… some spell, some... something that will put everything right again and help us win this war. I know you’re trying to do the same. We just have to work together. Right?”
"我不会的，金色血统,"她回答，听起来很疲倦。"我正在努力寻找一些东西......一些咒语，一些......一些能让一切恢复正常并帮助我们赢得这场战争的东西。我知道你也想这么做。我们只需要一起努力。对吧?"
Goldenblood was coughing too much to answer, but from the haunted look he gave her, I suspected that he hardly agreed. “Come on, let’s get you to the nurse’s station. And I need some ice on this bruise.”
金布拉德咳嗽得太厉害，无法回答，但是从他看她的眼神里，我怀疑他根本不同意。"来吧，我们送你去护士站。我需要冰敷一下这块淤青。"
The door had been closed for several minutes before the stallion relaxed. “Chimera, huh? Bet Pinkie would be mighty curious about that,” he said to
门关了好几分钟，那匹种马才松了一口气。"奇美拉，嗯？我打赌平奇会对此非常好奇的,"他对他说
himself as he returned to installing the device on the wires.
当他回来在电线上安装这个装置时。
Suddenly, the memory bled away… reforming in pain as he was being dragged by a telekinetic glow along a catwalk over immense vats, screaming along with dozens of other ponies. Alarms rang in an anemic attempt to give warning as he weakly scrabbled for something to hold on to.
突然，记忆消失了...痛苦地改变了，他被一道心灵感应的光沿着巨大的大缸上的t型台拖着，和其他几十匹小马一起尖叫着。当他虚弱地挣扎着想抓住什么东西的时候，警报响起来，像是一种贫血的尝试发出警告。
“No! No! I don’t want this! Mommy! Mommy!” he sobbed brokenly. He hooked a limb on a bar, but the force pulling on every inch of his body grew and grew. There was a snap, a grinding noise as pain exploded along his aching, burned hide. Then the telekinesis released him, and he drew a shuddering breath… seconds before the force redoubled and tore him screaming from the catwalk and into the churning, bubbling vat of rainbow and blue below.
"不！不！我不想这样！妈妈！妈妈!"他断断续续地抽泣。他用一根棍子钩住了一根树枝，但是拉着他身体每一寸的力量却越来越大。当疼痛沿着他疼痛、烧伤的皮肤爆发时，传来了一声喀嚓，一种摩擦的声音。然后心灵遥感释放了他，他颤抖着吸了一口气......几秒钟后力量加倍，撕裂了他从t台上的尖叫声和下面翻腾的、冒着泡的彩虹和蓝色的大缸。
The sensation that followed was nothing less than what I imagined it’d be like to be shoved through Stable 99’s recycler. What emerged was not what went in.
接下来的感觉和我想象的一样，就像被塞进Stable99的回收机里。出来的不是进去的。
We live in each other’s dreams and memories...
我们生活在彼此的梦想和回忆中..。
The world smeared and congealed back into a hilltop in a flash of purple; in the distance was a city of black towers wreathed in baleful green light. Now I was in… yes. This was an alicorn. I felt… strong. Healthy. Powerful. I wasn’t sure if I was actually hearing it, but a vast whispering host filled my mind, at the moment drowned out by a grand proclamation. “Red Eye has yet to even touch Hoofington, my children. Now is an excellent chance to save more of these poor ponies!”
世界在一抹紫色的闪光中变得模糊凝固，回到了山顶;远处是一座黑色塔楼的城市，笼罩在邪恶的绿色光芒中。现在我在...是的。这是一只独角兽。我感觉...很强壮。健康。强大。我不确定自己是否真的听到了，但是一个巨大的窃窃私语的主人充满了我的脑海，此刻被一个宏大的宣言所淹没。"我的孩子们，红眼睛还没有碰胡芬顿呢。现在是拯救更多这些可怜的小马的绝佳机会!"
We slowly advanced, my host, two greens, and three blues, each one alike save for her color; who knew they came in different shades? I felt myself sliding like oil from among the perspectives of the group as we approached the swampy morass of Flank. Then I became aware of a sound… yet not a sound. A noise within my host’s head was the only way I could think of to describe it. The noise increased. With it came the pain.
我们慢慢地向前走去，我的主人，两片绿色和三片蓝色，除了颜色都差不多，谁知道它们的颜色是不同的呢？当我们接近弗兰克的沼泽地时，我感到自己像油一样从人群的视野中滑落。然后我意识到一个声音...但是没有一个声音。我能想到的唯一形容方式就是主人脑子里的一种声音。噪音越来越大。随之而来的是痛苦。
Screams.
尖叫。
The city was screaming inside me. With every second, I felt myself jerked more and more erratically from one alicorn to the next. It was as if the screams were pulling something fundamental from my host, and the more that overpowering voice rose, the louder the cries became. Hundreds of screams crying in agony.
城市在我心中尖叫。每一秒钟，我都觉得自己越来越不稳定地从一个角落跳到另一个角落。就好像尖叫声从我的主人身上夺走了什么重要的东西，那压倒一切的声音越大，喊叫声就越大。成百上千的尖叫声在痛苦中哭泣。
Thousands. Millions. The jerking became a blur, and I was certain that at any moment I would be torn to pieces.
成千上万。数百万。抽搐变得模糊不清，我确信我随时都会被撕成碎片。
A purple flash, and once more I was on that hilltop overlooking the distant city. The whispers were silent, the Goddess silent. Then a mare’s voice in my host’s mind said, “They’re gone.”
一道紫色的闪光，我又一次站在山顶上俯瞰着远方的城市。耳语是无声的，女神也是无声的。然后一个母马的声音在我的主人的脑海里说:"他们走了。"
The Goddess snorted. “That’s ridiculous. Impossible!” But I could hear the quaver of uncertainty and fear. “They can’t be… gone… not even death truly separates us.” The whispers rose and fell.
女神哼了一声。"这太荒谬了。不可能!"但我能听到不确定和恐惧的颤抖。"它们不可能......消失......甚至连死亡都无法真正将我们分开。"低语声起起伏伏。
“They’ve been torn…” another mare said, and then a different mare finished, “…from Unity.”
"他们被撕裂了......"另一匹母马说，然后另一匹母马完成了,"......来自联合。"
Now that great chorus began to quail in fear. “Silence,” the Goddess commanded. There was a long quiet moment, and then the Goddess asked, “Do you know?”
现在，那巨大的合唱开始在恐惧中畏缩。"安静,"女神命令道。过了很长一段时间，女神问道:"你知道吗?"
For several minutes there was naught inside the purple alicorn but stillness. Then a strange, oddly familiar voice said solemnly, “This magic… it’s cold. Like Rarity’s Black Book.” Another long and drawn out silence. “It must be some kind of necromantic effect. Something we never imagined. And it’s saturated Hoofington.”
几分钟过去了，紫玉簪里什么也没有，只有一片寂静。然后，一个奇怪而熟悉的声音严肃地说:"这个魔法......它是冷的。就像珍贵的黑皮书。"又是一段长时间的沉默。"这一定是某种巫术效应。这是我们从未想象过的。这是饱和胡芬顿。"
“If a necromantic spell were that powerful…” one mare began, “…Hoofington would be sterile for miles,” another finished.
"如果死灵法术有那么强大......"一匹母马开始说道,"......胡芬顿在数英里内都不能生育,"另一匹母马说完。
“Not if we are… as distant a possibility as it is… just particularly vulnerable to it,” the calm voice pointed out, setting off a riot of argument and fear. I wondered if the Goddess was in control of that whispering, panicked mass of thought or if she fought against it for control of herself.
"除非我们......尽管可能性很小......只是特别容易受到伤害,"这个平静的声音指出，引发了一片争论和恐惧。我不知道女神是否控制着那些恐慌的想法，或者她是否为了控制自己而与之抗争。
“We are vulnerable to nothing! We bathe in taint and glow in radiation! And do not forget, we have experienced necromancy. We scoff at it! It cannot truly harm us.”
"我们什么都不怕！我们沐浴在污染和辐射的光辉中！别忘了，我们也经历过巫术。我们对此嗤之以鼻！它不可能真正伤害我们。"
“It just did.” The calm familiar voice said. “We need…”
"事实就是如此。"那平静而熟悉的声音说。"我们需要..."
“I will decide what needs be done!” the Goddess proclaimed as the whispering rose and fell. Then there was a pause. “But what is your idea?”
"我会决定需要做什么!"女神宣布，低语的玫瑰和下降。然后是一个停顿。"但你的想法是什么?"
A long sigh. “We must try and send another mare into Hoofington to learn what is causing this and how we can stop it.”
长长的叹息。"我们必须尝试将另一匹母马送入Hoofington，以了解是什么导致了这一切，以及我们如何才能阻止这一切。"
“Didn’t you just see what happened? We all felt it; every one of us. It would be torture. Neigh, suicide!” The Goddess’s voice oozed in disdain.
"你没看到刚才发生了什么吗？我们每个人都感觉到了。这将是一种折磨。啊，自杀!"女神的声音流露出蔑视的神情。
And, barely ‘heard’ over that whispering chorus, a mare said meekly, “I’ll go.”
一匹母马温顺地说:"我要走了。"
Again, silence. “You’ll go? You?” The Goddess seemed incredulous. “Why would you do such a thing?”
再说一遍，安静。"你要去吗？你呢?"女神似乎不相信。"你为什么要这样做?"
“To get what I deserve,” she murmured softly.
"为了得到我应得的,"她低声说。
“This is a waste of time. Better to send more of our children to try to obtain the Black Book before Red Eye becomes too much of a difficulty,” the Goddess declared imperiously.
"这是在浪费时间。最好在红眼变得太困难之前，派更多的孩子去争取黑皮书。"女神神气冲冲地说。
“We agree that finding the book…” the first of the paired mares said as the other finished, “…is more likely to be successful.” The whisperings rose and fell, a consensus seeming to settle around leaving Hoofington alone.
"我们一致认为找到这本书......"第一匹成对的母马在另一匹完成时说,"......更有可能成功。"风声起起落落，大家似乎达成了共识，把胡芬顿一个人留在了这里。
Finally, that lone, calm voice said softly, “What’s one, if she’s willing to endure it? We will have to block her connection partially… mute her experiences… but she may find the answers we need. I’ll help her.”
最后，那个孤独而平静的声音轻轻地说:"如果她愿意忍受，那又算什么呢？我们将不得不阻断她的连接部分...静音她的经验...但她可能会找到我们需要的答案。我会帮她的。"
“You will do no such thing. I know what you are capable of! Do not forget that I am the Goddess!” The Goddess roared across the collective, silencing it. Finally, though, the Goddess asked, “You are certain you want to do this? You will be isolated and alone. I know… we all know… how terrible that is.”
""你不能这样做。我知道你的能力！别忘了我是女神!"女神咆哮着穿过集体，使它安静下来。最后，女神问道:"你确定要这么做吗?"？你将被孤立和孤独。我知道......我们都知道......这有多可怕。"
The meek whisper rose above the chorus. “If it’s what you need, I will do it for you.” The murmuring rose and fell again in consideration. “I know Hoofington.”
那温柔的低语压过了合唱的声音。"如果这是你需要的，我会为你做的。"考虑到这一点，低语声时起时落。"我认识胡芬顿。"
The Goddess seemed to consider that. “You do, don’t you? Very well. You, give her what she needs. Block the rest. I don’t want to feel that sensation again, do you understand?”
女神似乎考虑到了这一点。"你知道，不是吗？很好。你，给她她需要的。阻止其他的。我不想再有那种感觉了，你明白吗?"
“Of course.” The muttering whispers seemed to go away, and that mare asked softly, “Are you sure about this?”
"当然。"低语声似乎消失了，那匹母马轻声问道:"你确定吗?"
“It’s what I deserve.” And with that, everything swirled and smeared away again.
"这是我应得的。"就这样，所有的东西都旋转着，又一次被弄脏了。
oooOOOooo
噢噢噢
It figured. I had to be the only pony in the world who could be trapped in a stable filling with poisonous gas and live. Was my luck really that bad? Couldn’t whatever malicious and depraved being that was in charge of the universe just let me die? Apparently not. I was lying on a soggy mattress that smelled of old water and faint rot. My lungs sounded just a little better than Goldenblood’s and felt a little worse.
它想通了。我必须成为世界上唯一一匹能够被困在充满有毒气体的马厩里并且活下去的小马。我的运气真的那么差吗？难道掌管宇宙的恶毒堕落的生物就不能让我死掉吗？显然不是。我躺在一张潮湿的床垫上，上面有一股陈水和微微腐烂的味道。我的肺听起来只比金色血液好一点点，感觉有点糟糕。
I wasn’t sure where this was. Big building, from the hiss of rain and the splashes echoing in the distance. There were peeling and split ministry posters; I barely made out Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy, but whatever encouraging message they offered had returned to pulp ages ago. My eyes traced along the ceiling tiles overhead, as if there was some answer or meaning in the cracks and crevices.
我不知道这是哪里。高大的建筑物，从雨水的嘶嘶声和溅落回响在远方。有剥落的和分裂的部门海报;我只能勉强辨认出紫悦和Fluttershy，但是他们提供的任何鼓舞人心的信息已经回到纸浆很久以前。我的眼睛沿着头顶上的天花板望去，仿佛在裂缝和缝隙中有某种答案或意义。
Murderer.
杀人犯。
Midnight’s last word echoed in my mind over and over again with perfect clarity. I know that some ponies might say it was Rivets’s fault. They’d be wrong. If I’d been stronger… better… I would have forced them to march every corpse outside and purge the recycling systems. But I hadn’t, and in doing so I’d allowed Rivets to commit an act that doomed 99. That wasn’t what made me a murderer, though. The ponies of 99 were doomed; nothing I could have done would have changed that. But when it was my hoof activating the gas, I’d damned myself. It’s tragic for hundreds to die. It’s murder when it was my actions that caused their deaths.
午夜的最后一句话在我的脑海里一遍又一遍地回荡，非常清晰。我知道有些小马可能会说这是铆钉的错。他们错了。如果我更强大......更好......我会强迫他们把每一具尸体赶到外面，清理回收系统。但是我没有这样做，这样做我允许铆钉犯了一个行为，注定了99。但这并不是我成为杀人犯的原因。99号的小马注定要灭亡，我无论如何也改变不了这一点。但是当我的蹄子启动毒气的时候，我诅咒自己。数以百计的人死去是一个悲剧。是我的行为导致了他们的死亡，这就是谋杀。
Necessity is the mother of atrocity. I remembered the stallion being ripped into a vat of… not thinking about it… and transforming into an alicorn mare. But I also remembered his burns. The heat… the damage all around him. Faced with such a choice of letting him die, or saving him by forcing him to change, what was the more virtuous choice? Or was the Goddess, like me, damned simply by being there? Act, and you transform ponies into monsters. Don’t, and you’re a murderer for standing by when you could have acted.
需要是暴行之母。我记得那匹种马被撕成了一大桶......没有想到......然后变成了一匹独角母马。但我也记得他的烧伤。高温...他周围的伤害。面对这样一个选择:让他死去，或者通过迫使他改变来拯救他，什么才是更高尚的选择？还是像我一样，女神只是因为出现在那里而受到诅咒？行动，你就把小马变成了怪物。如果你不这么做，你就会成为一个杀人犯，因为你本可以采取行动却袖手旁观。
But that wasn’t what really damned me.
但这并不是真正让我下地狱的原因。
“I’m sorry, Glory,” I murmured softly.
"对不起，晨辉,"我轻声地说。
There was a shift beside me, and a cool rag dabbed at my brow. “Hey. You made it. I was worried there for a bit.” Her fond tone wasn’t what I’d been expecting. “If you ever pull a stunt like that again…”
我身边有一个轮班工人，一块凉爽的抹布轻轻地擦着我的额头。"嘿。你做到了。我有点担心。"她温柔的语气并不是我所期待的。"如果你再耍这种花招......"
A stunt? I… “What are you talking about, Glory?” I asked warily.
一个噱头？我。."你在说什么，晨辉?"我小心翼翼地问。
“Lacunae filled us in while you were out. How you… how you had to do what you did in the stable.” She sighed softly as she wrapped her hooves around me, resting her head on my chest. “I’m so sorry, Blackjack. For a while there I thought… I thought that you’d tried to… to do something. Something horrible.” She pressed her face against my chest.
"你不在的时候，缺口把我们的情况告诉了我们。你怎么...你怎么不得不做你在马厩里做的事。"她轻轻地叹了口气，用蹄子围着我，把头靠在我的胸膛上。"我很抱歉，黑杰克。有那么一会儿，我以为...我以为你想...做点什么。可怕的事情。"她把脸紧贴在我的胸前。
My mouth was dry as I held her atop me, staring at the water stained tiles overhead. “What… what did she tell you?”
当我把她抱在身上，凝视着头上沾满水渍的瓷砖时，我的嘴干了。"她...她跟你说了什么?"
“That you’d worked out her teleporting you out, but that you activated the poisoned talisman early. That Rivets and the others tried to stop you and Lacunae got injured,” she said quietly. “I’m so sorry you had to do that. I know you thought we’d argue, but… I wish I could have been there with you when you had to do it.” She let out a great sigh as she lay atop me. I felt as if I were falling. “Don’t ever do that again. I couldn’t take it. Not if you did that.”
"你知道她把你传送出去了，但是你提前激活了那个有毒的护身符。那些铆钉和其他人试图阻止你，结果拉库奈受伤了,"她平静地说。"我很抱歉你不得不这么做。我知道你认为我们会吵架，但是......我真希望当你不得不这么做的时候，我能在你身边。"她躺在我身上，长长地叹了一口气。我感觉自己好像在坠落。"不要再这样做了。我受不了了。如果你这么做的话就不会。"
She’d lied. Lacunae, or the Goddess, had lied to save my tail.
她撒谎了。空隙，或者说是女神，为了救我的尾巴而撒谎。
Quiet tears streaked my face as I stroked the soft hair and delicate feathers of a mare I’d never deserved. “Yeah. I had to do it. I had to.”
当我抚摸着一匹从未配得上的母马的柔软的毛发和精致的羽毛时，泪水悄悄地在我的脸上留下了痕迹。"是的。我必须这么做。我必须这么做。"
Murderer. Liar. Monster.
杀人犯。骗子。怪物。
* * *
* * *
“Why the hell do I need to learn all this stuff again?” I heard a filly grouse grumpily from the next room. “I mean… who cares if a ghoul is a zombie or not? They sound disgusting!”
"我为什么还要再学这些东西?"我听到隔壁房间传来一只小雌松鸡发牢骚的声音。"我的意思是......谁在乎食尸鬼是不是僵尸呢？听起来很恶心!"
“Some of them may be, but a few are still ponies inside. We’ve met some pegasus ghouls who were quite kind and sweet,” Glory pointed out.
"其中一些可能是，但还有一些仍然是小马。我们遇到过一些飞马食尸鬼，他们非常和蔼可亲,"晨辉指出。
“Besides, Blackjack, Glory, and I learned all of this the hard way. Trust me; you’ll deal with far fewer bullet holes if you read up,” P-21 said in his calm, soft voice. “But if you want to learn the hard way, we can have Rampage teach you though the stallion to the head system.”
"除此之外，Blackjack、Glory和我都是通过艰难的方式学到这一切的。相信我，如果你仔细阅读，你会发现弹孔少得多,"P-21用他平静、柔和的声音说。"但如果你想通过艰难的方式学习，我们可以让狂暴教你通过种马到头系统。"
Once I’d pulled myself together enough to get to my hooves under me, I walked like my body was made of thin glass. Every step I took, I felt I was going to break or something. I kept hearing the word, seeing the still bodies of the foals. I could smell the chlorine reek in my nostrils. Sweet Celestia, please let me hold it together. I faked the most sincere smile possible. “Yeah, worked wonders on me…” I said as I walked out slowly into the room with the others.
一旦我振作起来，走到我的蹄子下面，我走起路来就像我的身体是薄玻璃做的。每走一步，我都觉得自己要崩溃了。我不断地听到这个词，看到小马驹静止的身体。我可以闻到我鼻孔里的氯气味。甜蜜的天堂，请让我坚持到底。我尽可能假装最真诚的微笑。"是啊，在我身上创造了奇迹......"我一边说，一边和其他人慢慢走进房间。
Rampage was going over the Hoofington edition of the Wasteland Survival Guide with Scotch Tape, giving pointers. “Go for the eyes, Tape. Go for the eyes.” The young olive mare looked at me with an expression that mixed gratitude with fear and added touch of hate. She quickly looked back at the book as if her life depended on it. With a little bit of luck, she’d do a thousand times better than P-21 and I did coming out.
狂暴是去胡芬顿版的荒地生存指南与透明胶带，给指点。"攻击眼睛，磁带。瞄准眼睛。"那匹橄榄色的年轻母马看着我，脸上带着一种感激、恐惧和憎恨的表情。她迅速地回头看了看那本书，仿佛她的生活全靠它了。如果运气好的话，她的表现会比P-21好上一千倍，而我也确实出柜了。
Said stallion was lying on some rags in the corner. I walked slowly over, and he looked up with bloodshot eyes. “Hey,” I said as I sat beside him. He shied away. I guess I couldn’t blame him.
说种马躺在角落里的一些破布上。我慢慢走过去，他抬起充血的眼睛看着我。"嘿,"我坐在他旁边说。他躲开了。我想我不能责怪他。
“Hey…” he murmured as he closed his eyes. “So. There was a plan?” he asked softly.
"嘿......"他闭上眼睛喃喃地说。"所以。有计划吗?"他轻声问道。
I looked over at the inscrutable features of Lacunae gazing out at the rainy night. “Yeah. Something like that.” I couldn’t tell if he believed me or not. I couldn’t tell if he cared or not. He seemed empty and brittle, like one good shove or wrong word would snap him for good, and I’d lose another friend. I didn’t deserve to have him, either; I didn’t deserve any of them.
我望着陷阱里那些神秘莫测的面孔，凝视着雨夜。"是的。差不多吧。"我不知道他是否相信我。我不知道他是否在乎。他看起来空虚而脆弱，就像一个好的推动或错误的话语会永远抓住他，我会失去另一个朋友。我也不配拥有他，我也不配拥有他们任何一个。
“I saw you… did they…” He drew a shaking breath. “So… was it fast?” His soft voice still varied, and I saw Scotch Tape looking over with her wide green eyes, shifting nervously.
"我看见你了......他们......"他颤抖着吸了一口气。"那么......是不是很快?"他温柔的声音依然变幻莫测，我看到苏格兰胶带用她绿色的大眼睛看着我，神经质地移动着。
Rampage swatted her head. “Hey. Spikey death dealer giving you pointers. You should listen to them, or I’ll give you points instead.” Scotch quickly flushed and looked away as she nervously chewed on the end of her dusky blue tail.
狂暴拍打着她的头。"嘿。斯皮基死亡发牌员给你指点。你应该听他们的，否则我就给你加分。"苏格兰威士忌很快就涨红了脸，转过头去，她紧张地咬着暗蓝色尾巴的尾巴。
“It was over quick,” I lied. Sure, minutes were better than spending your last few days eating each other, but minutes of agony… I’d done that to foals… my hooves started to shake. I felt bile rising in my throat. I had to fake it, had to pretend like it didn’t affect me. I wanted to sob right there. Instead, I grimaced. “I just had the luck to get just enough to mess me up. My chest still feels like my lungs were scrubbed out with a brush, and my eyes hurt.”
"太快了,"我撒了个谎。当然，分钟比你们在最后几天里互相啃食要好，但是分钟的痛苦......我对小马驹做过这种事......我的蹄子开始颤抖。我感到胆汁从喉咙里冒了出来。我不得不假装它，假装它对我没有影响。我真想在那里哭泣。相反，我做了个鬼脸。"我只是运气好，刚好够把我搞得一团糟。我的胸口仍然感觉像是我的肺被刷子刷干净了，而且我的眼睛很疼。"
I killed my stable… and I was complaining about my eyes?
我杀了我的马厩...我还在抱怨我的眼睛？
“Blackjack… how are you doing? Really?” he asked softly as his eyes met mine, and I felt my grin strain even more.
"黑杰克......你好吗？真的吗?"他轻轻地问道，他的目光与我的目光相遇，我感到我的笑更加紧张了。
“I’m fine… just fine… I had to do it… I had to…” Keep repeating that. Keep on repeating it till you believe it.
"我很好......很好......我不得不这么做......我不得不......"一直重复这句话。不断重复直到你相信为止。
For some reason, that seemed to disappoint him even more. He turned towards me a little and stretched out a hoof… paused… and then drew it back with a shameful look. “Because… Because I just had a stable full of ponies I honestly didn’t care that much for die, and I’m barely holding it together. Just… they’re gone. And they were pretty shitty to me, and I still feel bad they’re gone.”
出于某种原因，这似乎让他更加失望。他稍稍转向我，伸出一只蹄子......停了一下......然后羞愧地把蹄子拉了回来。"因为......因为我的马厩里全是小马驹，我真的不太在乎死亡，我只能勉强维持生计。只是...他们走了。他们对我来说很糟糕，我现在仍然为他们的离去感到难过。"
I couldn’t meet his eyes anymore. I pretended to find batting an empty can fascinating to keep from shaking. “It doesn’t matter… I had to do it…” Had to. Had to.
我再也看不到他的眼睛了。我假装发现击打一个空罐子很吸引人，以防止晃动。"没关系...我必须这么做..."必须这么做。别无选择。
“Blackjack.” He put his hoof on the can. “They were your friends. Your family. Your mother--”
"黑杰克。"他把蹄子放在罐子上。"他们是你的朋友。你的家人。你妈妈——"
“Don’t!” I yelled, and promptly all eyes were on me… except P-21’s. He flinched away, clenching his eyes shut. Glory started towards me, but I gave her a look. I couldn’t handle this. I was about to explode… it was all I could do to control my breathing. “Don’t… talk about her. Them. Any of it. Please.” I could smell it in my mane. Feel it on my skin. I heard that shout echoing endlessly inside me. “It’s over. It’s done. I can’t… do this now… please,” I begged.
"不要!"我大叫起来，立刻所有的眼睛都盯着我......除了P-21。他畏缩了一下，紧闭着眼睛。晨辉开始向我走来，但我看了她一眼。我受不了了。我快要爆炸了...我只能这样控制自己的呼吸。"不要...谈论她。他们。任何一个。求你了。"我能从我的鬃毛里闻到它的味道。用我的皮肤感觉一下。我听见那呼喊声在我心里无休止地回响。"结束了。搞定了。我现在不能......这么做......求你了,"我恳求道。
Scotch Tape looked at me in shock as her own tears began to fall. Rampage took one look at her and declared boldly, “Hey! Scotchy wotchy! Don’t you think you should give Blackjack her PipBuck back? Not that that the classic version isn’t peachy keen, but she really needs the über black one back.”
苏格兰胶带震惊地看着我，她自己的眼泪开始落下来。狂暴看了她一眼，大胆地说:"嘿！苏格兰威士忌！你不觉得应该把钱还给Blackjack吗？并不是说经典版本不是桃红色的，而是她真的需要黑色的那个。"
Scotch Tape blinked up at her incredulously as sorrow and shock vied with her request. “Are you serious? Do you know how hard it is to remove one of these?” she asked as she held up her own PipBuck. “If it were held on with nuts and bolts, sure! Let me get my wrench. But short of taking off her leg, these things don’t come off without the proper tools.”
苏格兰胶带对她的要求表示怀疑，因为她的要求引起了悲伤和震惊。"你是认真的吗？你知道移除这些东西有多难吗?"她边问边举起自己的PipBuck。"如果用螺母和螺栓把它固定住，当然可以！我去拿扳手。但是，除非把她的腿取下来，否则这些东西是不能脱下来的。"
Which, I gathered, was part of the point of Rampage asking. The striped pony grabbed Scotch’s PipBuck and started to tug. “Come on… it’s gotta come off somehow…” she said, and the young mare fought for her life, swatting her armor in futility. “I know… I can chew it off!”
我猜想，这也是横冲直撞发问的原因之一。条纹矮种马抓住苏格兰矮种马的矮种马，开始拉扯。"来吧......它总得脱下来......"她说，年轻的母马拼命挣扎，徒劳地拍打着她的盔甲。"我知道......我可以把它咬下来!"
“Ack! Get me out of here! Everypony outside is crazy!” she wailed as Rampage started to slobber over the screen.
"啊！放我出去！外面的小马都疯了!"当狂暴开始在屏幕上流口水时，她哭了起来。
I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. I cried too… but I think the laugh covered it up.
我情不自禁。我笑了。我也哭了......但我想笑声掩盖了一切。
Thank you, Rampage.
谢谢你，狂暴。
* * *
* * *
The building we were in had been some kind of publishing house. Copies of ‘Hoofington Weekly’ newspapers lay in soggy stacks, heaps, and, more frequently, barely-recognizable lumps. I really had no clue what kind of salvage might be available, but we split into pairs to look around the three story building. We badly needed ammo, and, as much as I hated to admit it, needed salvage for caps. We wouldn’t get far if we were broke. Glory and P-21 took the second floor, and Rampage and Scotch started off to check the first. I began heading towards the basement with Lacunae, but halfway down the stairs I realized what had just happened. I took the stairs up two at a time, ignoring my body's protests, and half ran, half skidded down a hallway. I spotted Rampage and Scotch through a doorway as I passed and managed to catch myself on it, panting and wheezing. The two looked up in alarm.
我们所在的大楼曾经是某种出版社。《胡芬顿周刊》的报纸都是湿漉漉的，堆成一堆，更常见的是几乎辨认不出来的一堆。我真的不知道还能找到什么样的残余物，但我们分成两人一组，环顾这座三层楼的建筑。我们急需弹药，尽管我不愿意承认，但我们需要抢救弹药。如果我们破产了，我们也走不远。晨辉和P-21占据了二楼，狂暴和苏格兰人开始检查第一层。我开始和Lacunae一起向地下室走去，但是走到一半的时候，我意识到刚才发生了什么。我不顾身体的抗议，一次爬两级楼梯，一半跑一半滑下走廊。当我经过门口时，我发现了横冲直撞的人和苏格兰威士忌，我喘着气，设法控制住自己。两个人惊恐地抬起头来。
"Rampage," I began, "Could I talk…to you alone?"
"暴怒,"我开始说,"我能和你单独谈谈吗?"
Scotch gave a questioning look at me, then another at Rampage. The Reaper nudged her towards the door as she headed out. I motioned Rampage into the far corner.
苏格兰人疑惑地看了我一眼，然后又看了我一眼。死神在她出门的时候把她推向门口。我示意狂暴走到远处的角落。
“Rampage,” I asked quietly, meeting her pink eyes with my own and then looking back at Scotch, who was now talking with Lacunae. “Is she going to be okay with you?” One sneer. One half-lidded look, and I’d be putting a bullet in her head. Then I’d be swapping her with P-21 while she popped the bullet out of her noggin.
"暴怒,"我平静地问道，用我自己的眼睛看着她粉红色的眼睛，然后回头看着苏格兰人，他正在和拉库奈说话。"她对你没意见吧?"一个冷笑。一个半睁着眼睛的表情，我就会一枪崩了她。然后我会在她脑袋里蹦出子弹的时候把她和P-21交换。
She blinked at me, then smiled slightly sadly. “No... I think she’s a little too old for that.” Okay... tiny bit reassuring, more than just a little creepy. “I’ll keep her safe. I promise. I won’t... slip... again.” She'd better not. I was already suicidal. I didn’t know how I’d take another Thorn. Would I freak out? Try and kill Rampage by putting her through the printers? Cry? Just break? Or would I feel nothing at all? That last possibility scared me more than all the others. I nodded at her, then went back into the hall, tried to smile at the odd look Scotch was giving me, and headed back towards the basement with Lacunae.
她眨了眨眼睛，然后悲伤地微微一笑。"不......我觉得她有点太老了。"好吧...有点让人安心，不只是有点让人毛骨悚然。"我会保证她的安全。我保证。我不会...再次...滑倒。"她最好不要。我已经有自杀倾向了。我不知道我怎么能再忍受一个荆棘。我会崩溃吗？试图通过打印机杀死狂暴？哭？休息一下？或者我什么都感觉不到？最后一种可能性比其他任何可能性都更让我害怕。我朝她点点头，然后回到大厅，试着对苏格兰人给我的奇怪表情微笑，然后和拉库奈一起回到地下室。
Our hooves clopped softly as we moved together, me in front and she behind. My glowing eyes pierced the darkness, but aside from radroaches, this place was dead... ooh, bad thought. I kept waiting, hoping, for something to jump out at me. I needed something to distract me from how similar these tunnels were to Stable 99. Needed something to drown out the word echoing in my mind.
我们走在一起，我在前面，她在后面，我们的蹄子轻轻地响着。我发光的眼睛划破了黑暗，但是除了流氓，这个地方死气沉沉...哦，糟糕的想法。我一直在等待，希望能有什么东西跳出来。我需要一些东西来分散我的注意力，让我不去想这些隧道和Stable99有多么相似。需要一些东西来淹没那个在我脑海中回荡的字眼。
And Lacunae wasn’t saying anything about what she’d done. About what I’d done. I was glad she couldn’t read my mind at this moment, as I was fairly screaming with questions about what she’d said. About saving me. But the alicorn remained stoic and silent, illuminating her way with a little spark of light.
拉库尼对她的所作所为只字未提。关于我的所作所为。我很高兴此刻她不能读懂我的心思，因为我尖叫着问她说了什么。关于拯救我。但是阿里康仍然坚忍而沉默，用一点小小的火花照亮了她的道路。
I got to apply my lockpicking skills, at least; despite everything, I had to admit that I was getting better at the delicate process of tricking open locks. Security Mare: lockbreaker. Somewhere, the Goddesses must be laughing at the irony. I opened one locked metal door and was greeted by a storeroom. “Oh, look!
至少，我得运用我的开锁技巧;不管发生了什么，我不得不承认，我越来越擅长耍弄打开的锁这个精巧的过程。保安母马:开锁者。在某个地方，女神们一定在嘲笑这种讽刺。我打开一扇上了锁的金属门，迎接我的是一间储藏室。"哦，看！
Turpentine and Wonderglue!” I said with infinitely more enthusiasm than was warranted. “Scrap metal. Always useful. Sensor modules. Even a spark battery.” And in the back was a yellow medical box. The healing potions inside were the consistency of tar, but I took the Med-X and Mint-als.
松节油和神奇胶!"我说的热情远远超过了保证的程度。"废金属。总是有用的。传感器模块。甚至是火花电池。"后面是一个黄色的医疗箱。里面的治疗药水像焦油一样粘稠，但我选择了Med-X和Mint-als。
“Truly a cornucopia of caps,” Lacunae agreed softly with just a hint of sarcasm.
"真是一个帽子的聚宝盆,"拉库尼轻声表示同意，只带着一丝讽刺。
“Hey. It’ll tide us over till we find some nice high quality guns to sell,” I said as I lifted a metal box lid and swept four measly bottle caps into one of my pockets.
"嘿。我一边说，一边打开一个金属盒盖，把四个可怜的瓶盖塞进我的口袋里。
Storeroom stripped, I glanced back at her. “The thing you put me in? Was that Unity?”
储藏室空无一物，我回头看了她一眼。"你把我放进去的那个东西？这就是团结吗?"
Lacunae didn’t look at me, her thoughts sighing softly. “It is… like Unity. It is as close to Unity as you can know.”
空隙没有看我，她的思绪在轻声叹息。"这就像是......团结。这是你所知道的最接近团结的地方。"
“What do you mean?” I asked as I took a lead pipe and casually squashed a hungry radroach that wandered too near.
"什么意思?"我一边问，一边拿起一根铅管，不经意地压扁了一只走得太近的饥饿的萝卜。
She sighed again as she plucked a gobbet of radroach meat from the corpse with her horn and deposited it into a plastic jar kept for Rampage’s high protein diet. Somehow, I doubted a goddess liked crawling through tunnels for scrap and harvesting bug flesh. “What you experienced was an outsider looking at Unity. You remained you. Your memories, your experiences, your point of view… they were all intact.” At my ‘I’m an idiot, remember?’ look, she elaborated, “At any point, did you not feel like yourself?”
她又叹了一口气，用角从尸体上取下一大杯子的萝卜肉，放进一个塑料罐子里，这个塑料罐子是为狂暴的高蛋白饮食准备的。不知为什么，我怀疑是否有女神喜欢爬过隧道捡废铁或者收集虫肉。"你所经历的是一个局外人看待Unity。你保持了你自己。你的记忆，你的经历，你的观点......它们都是完整的。"在我的'我是个白痴，记得吗听着，她解释道,"在任何时候，你都觉得不像你自己了吗?"
I wish. “No; it was like a memory orb.”
我希望如此。"不，它就像一个记忆球。"
“Exactly. There was a wall between you and the memories you viewed. You did not become the original person experiencing the memory. You didn’t know what they thought. You can infer, you can sympathize, but you remain apart from them. In Unity, there is no such separation,” she said quietly.
"没错。在你和你看到的记忆之间有一堵墙。你没有成为体验记忆的原始人。你不知道他们怎么想的。你可以推断，你可以同情，但你仍然与他们保持距离。在联合，没有这样的分离,"她平静地说。
We walked past some hulking turbine-engine-things; amazingly, they still had power. Most of the indicator lights were red, though. ‘Lockout’, one read. “So, you’re you and not you at the same time?” She smiled, looking a little surprised.
我们走过一些笨重的涡轮发动机;令人惊讶的是，它们还有动力。不过，大多数指示灯是红色的。'停摆'，有人写道。"所以，你是你，而不是你在同一时间?"她笑了，看起来有点惊讶。
“In Unity… you are yourself, but you are also countless others. It is like being in a great dark room, and not knowing where you begin and the others end. I am me, but I might also be a pedicurist, or a soldier, or a librarian. And who I was originally is lost. I have some semblance of independence and personality, but I’ve no idea if this body was originally mine. If this brain held my original memories or housed my soul. And at any moment, the me who is me can be replaced by the Goddess.”
"在统一中......你是你自己，但你也是无数的其他人。这就像在一个巨大的黑暗的房间里，不知道你从哪里开始，其他人从哪里结束。我就是我，但我也可能是一个修脚师，或者一个士兵，或者一个图书管理员。我原来的样子已经消失了。我有一些独立和个性的外表，但我不知道这个身体是否原本是我的。如果这个大脑保存着我最初的记忆或者存放着我的灵魂。而且在任何时候，我就是我，可以被女神所取代。"
“Why is that?” I asked as I remembered that imperious voice. “Who is she? What makes her so special?”
"为什么?"我问，因为我记得那个专横的声音。""她是谁？是什么让她如此特别?"
“She is… the Goddess. She is the glue that binds us together. She is… difficult
"她是......女神。她是把我们联系在一起的粘合剂。她...很难相处
to describe,” she said softly with a sigh. “She is attempting to ignore me. I’m separated from the others, though not yet severed.”
"她轻轻地叹了口气说。"她试图无视我。我和其他人分开了，虽然还没有分开。"
“But why?”
"但为什么呢?"
Lacunae looked right into my eyes and asked me softly, “Would you like to experience somepony gassing a stable? Feel her guilt? Know her horrors and shame?” I felt myself start to shake, my eyes wide as I looked back at her. I broke my gaze to the floor as Lacunae went on. “There is much pain in Unity, but it is dispersed. Separated. Tolerable. In me, it is concentrated. The Goddess hurts enough with what she has become. She does not wish to include the pain I witness in her own burden.”
Lacunae直视着我的眼睛，温柔地问我:"你想体验一下小马在马厩里放毒气吗?"？感觉到她的内疚了吗？知道她的恐惧和羞耻吗?"我感到自己开始颤抖，当我回头看她时，我的眼睛睁得大大的。当空隙继续往前走时，我的目光不再盯着地板。"在团结中有很多痛苦，但它是分散的。分居。可以忍受。在我身上，它是集中的。女神已经受够了她现在的样子。她不愿意把我所目睹的痛苦算在她自己的负担里。"
I hadn’t thought of that. What would it be like to know, to have experienced, the suffering of hundreds, maybe thousands, of individuals over centuries? To never be able to be apart from it? It would drive a pony crazy. “And then there’s the Hoofington problem,” I added as I found some dusty ammo containers. Why would there be ammo containers in a publishing house?
我没想到这一点。经历了几个世纪以来，成百上千个人的痛苦，会是什么样的感觉？永远不能离开它？这会让小马发疯的。"还有Hoofington的问题,"当我发现一些满是灰尘的弹药箱时，我补充道。为什么出版社里会有弹药箱？
“What…” she started. “What do you know about it?”
"什么......"她开口了。"你知道什么?"
“The screams. That jerking. How you lost five ponies from Unity.” I poured the bullets into my saddlebags and turned to face her. “It was something I saw while I was away. The screams.”
"尖叫声。那个抽搐。你怎么会在Unity丢了五匹小马。"我把子弹倒进我的鞍囊，转过身来面对她。"这是我不在的时候看到的。尖叫声。"
“Yes… the screams.” She shivered. “I… that is what I am here to discover. What magic… what power… can affect us so. Alone, the screams are… manageable. They rise and fall constantly, but do not overwhelm.”
"是的...那些尖叫声。"她打了个哆嗦。"我.....。.这就是我在这里要发现的。什么样的魔法...什么样的力量...能够如此影响我们。一个人的时候，尖叫声...是可以控制的。它们时涨时跌，但不会压倒一切。"
“But put two of you together and you bounce back and forth like radroaches in a shoebox,” I said, and she looked impressed once again. “So that’s why you’re here alone. That’s what the Goddess wants. But why?”
"但是把你们两个放在一起，你们就会像放在鞋盒里的羊毛一样来来回回,"我说，她看起来又一次被打动了。"这就是你一个人在这里的原因。这就是女神想要的。但为什么呢?"
“Because in Unity, there is comfort and safety. We have no promise of an everafter, but in Unity we endure. Kill one of us and it matters little. Some of us have been slain and then returned to slay our attacker in a new body, having learned their tricks. Few ponies can maintain the level of creativity and ruthlessness to keep ahead of us.” She looked away with a momentary scowl. “That one little mare and her friends, however…” Somehow, I didn’t think she meant to mutter that into my mind.
"因为在团结中，有舒适和安全。我们没有永恒的承诺，但在团结中我们忍耐。杀了我们中的一个，这就无关紧要了。我们中的一些人已经被杀死，然后回来杀死我们的攻击者在一个新的身体，已经学会了他们的技巧。很少有小马能够保持创造力和冷酷无情的水平，从而领先于我们。"她转过头去，一时愁眉不展。"然而，那匹小母马和她的朋友们......"不知怎么的，我没想到她会在我的脑海里喃喃自语。
I couldn’t help but smile, wondering who she was referring to. Still, stay on topic. “So, when those others were lost… it must have been pretty terrifying.”
我忍不住笑了，不知道她指的是谁。尽管如此，还是不要跑题。"所以，当其他人失踪的时候......那一定非常可怕。"
“When you are as we are… something fearful is intolerable. Therefore, we must either ignore it or hunt it down and destroy it at all costs. I am a rare exception; I was sent to learn about this threat.” By ‘you’.
"当你和我们一样的时候......某种可怕的东西是无法忍受的。因此，我们必须要么忽视它，要么不惜一切代价追捕它并摧毁它。我是个罕见的例外，我是被派来了解这种威胁的。"作者:你。
“The screams… they hurt you, don’t they? Even alone?” She just closed her eyes with a small smile and shrugged elegantly. As much as I found the Goddess a twit, Lacunae was perfect for our group. “You said you deserved it…” Now there was shock on her face. Apparently, she hadn’t known exactly what I’d experienced in that dream state. “Why?”
"那些尖叫声......它们伤害了你，不是吗？即使是一个人?"她只是闭上眼睛，面带微笑，优雅地耸了耸肩。虽然我觉得女神是个笨蛋，但拉库尼对我们这群人来说是完美的。"你说你罪有应得......"现在她的脸上充满了震惊。显然，她并不知道我在那种梦境中到底经历了什么。"为什么?"
She walked a little ways past me and then stopped. “I did something terrible. I don’t remember what, or why, but I remember the shame. The horror. I know what you went through when you closed that door on your friends. And I know… how much it would hurt your friends if they realized just what you tried to do.
她从我身边走过，然后停了下来。"我做了件可怕的事。我不记得是什么，或者为什么，但我记得那羞耻。恐怖。我知道你对你的朋友关上门的时候经历了什么。我知道...如果你的朋友知道你想做什么，他们会多么伤心。
“I had friends once, I think.” She closed her eyes, tilting her head back. “Dear friends. But I lost them somehow, one after the next. Eventually, we were all alone. And one by one, we were consumed. Just as you are being consumed.”
"我想，我曾经有过朋友。"她闭上眼睛，把头往后仰。"亲爱的朋友们。但不知怎么的，我失去了他们，一个接着一个。最终，我们都成了孤家寡人。一个接一个，我们都被吞噬了。就像你正在被吞噬。"
I sat down. “I don’t know how to go on. EC-1101 seems so… so stupid now, Lacunae. I killed my stable. How do I live with that?” I looked up at her, tears streaking my cheeks. “How am I supposed to live with that? How do I tell Glory that… as much as I care for her… I wish I’d died along with my stable?” Lie to her? Go through the motions of being interested in a life I couldn’t care less about?
我坐了下来。"我不知道该怎么继续下去。Ec-11101现在看起来太...太蠢了，Lacunae。我杀了我的马厩。我怎么能接受这个事实呢?"我抬头看着她，泪水划过我的脸颊。"我怎么能接受这个事实？我该怎么告诉晨辉......尽管我很关心她......但我希望我和我的马厩一起死去?"对她撒谎？经历着对一个我根本不在乎的生活感兴趣的过程？
“I don’t know, Blackjack. I have no choice but to live and endure. It’s my punishment. It’s what I deserve. But you… I can’t weigh your sins against your virtue.” She approached and nudged my shoulder with a motherly sort of smile. “Come. There’re no answers found in a smelly basement.” With her minigun floating above her, she proceeded down the hallway.
"我不知道，黑杰克。我别无选择，只能生存和忍受。这是对我的惩罚。这是我应得的。但是你......我不能权衡你的罪恶和你的美德。"她走近我，带着慈母般的微笑轻轻推了推我的肩膀。"来吧。在臭烘烘的地下室里找不到答案。"她的小型手枪在头顶漂浮着，她沿着走廊向前走去。
* * *
* * *
An hour later, we’d come across a few more storage rooms, and my bags were filled to overflowing with assorted crap I’d gathered in the hopes that it could be
一个小时后，我们又来到了几个储藏室，我的包里装满了各种各样的垃圾，我希望它们能够被装满
put to some sort of use. We were on our way back up towards the first floor, not having any good way to carry more stuff even if we could find it. “So, deep and profound questions of identity aside, what were you doing in Chapel?” I asked as I stepped over the radroach carcass. “How long have you been there?”
用于某种用途。我们在回到一楼的路上，没有任何好的方式来携带更多的东西，即使我们可以找到它。"那么，撇开深刻而深刻的身份认同问题不谈，你在教堂做什么?"我一边问，一边跨过那只萝卜的尸体。"你在那儿多久了?"
“Chapel is a hollow, a refuge; the screams of the city are muted somewhat. I hadn’t been there long, though; a few months at the most.”
"教堂是一个空洞，一个避难所;城市的尖叫声在某种程度上被压抑了。不过我在那里的时间不长，最多几个月。"
“And nopony commented on the giant unicorn in black?” I asked with a slight tease. “I mean, not to be rude, but you do stand out.”
"难道没有小马对那只巨大的黑色独角兽评头论足吗?"我带着一丝戏弄的口吻问。"我的意思是，无意冒犯，但你确实很突出。"
“One advantage to being a giant unicorn is that few bother you with why you are a giant unicorn,” she replied with a calm smile. “Priest suspected something, I’m sure, but I think he was more interested in preventing me from trying to enter the city. The Crusaders gave me a wide enough berth. That delightful filly Charity made the most delicious daisy sandwiches I’d ever eaten, though. Where she found the flowers I can’t imagine, but they were worth every cap.”
"成为一只巨大的独角兽的一个好处是，很少有人会为你为什么是一只巨大的独角兽而烦恼,"她平静地笑着回答。"我敢肯定，牧师有所怀疑，但我认为他更感兴趣的是阻止我进入这座城市。十字军对我敬而远之。不过，那个讨人喜欢的小姑娘Charity做了我吃过的最美味的雏菊三明治。她是在哪儿找到这些花的，我无法想象，但是它们值得每一顶帽子。"
I couldn’t imagine Charity making me a daisy sandwich. In fact, I couldn’t imagine a daisy sandwich without getting some disturbing visuals. “Yeah, and she probably charged you a horn and a hoof for ‘em,” I muttered sourly, then blinked. “Wait. If you don’t have to eat…?”
我无法想象Charity会给我做雏菊三明治。事实上，我无法想象一个雏菊三明治没有一些令人不安的视觉效果。"是的，而且她可能为了这个给了你一个喇叭和一个蹄子,"我不高兴地咕哝着，然后眨了眨眼。"等等。如果你不用吃东西......?"
“Why would I buy food from her?” she finished, looking at me in surprise.
"我为什么要向她买食物?"她说完了，惊讶地看着我。
“Why, because they’re quite tasty.” Her lips curled with elegant delight.
"为什么，因为它们很好吃。"她优雅愉快地撇着嘴唇。
On a whim, I peeked into an office near the stairs. Wallsafe? Unopened? I felt the most curious nibble at my spine, like that locked door had insulted my mother by being locked! Well, we’d see about that! “Hold up a sec,” I said as I nipped inside and floated out a bobby pin. “Okay. How are we going to do this? The easy way or the hard way?”
一时兴起，我瞥了一眼楼梯旁的一间办公室。网络安全？未拆封的？我感到最奇怪的是，我的脊椎被咬了一口，就像那扇锁着的门被锁住了，侮辱了我的母亲！我们走着瞧吧！"等一下,"我一边说，一边轻轻地钻进去，取出一个发夹。"好吧。我们要怎么做？要吃软的还是吃硬的?"
Lacunae stood behind me. “What’s the hard way?” she asked in an amused tone of thought.
空隙站在我身后。"有什么难的?"她用一种愉快的语气问道。
“I cry and have to get P-21 to open it for me. It’s ugly. Trust me,” I assured her.
"我哭了，不得不让P-21帮我打开它。太难看了。相信我,"我向她保证。
It wasn’t the worst lock I’d run across, though I had to press my ear to the side of the door to hear the faint tap of the pins, screwing up my face, and I went through two pins before the third one opened it.
这不是我碰到过的最糟糕的锁，尽管我不得不把耳朵贴在门边，听到针头轻轻敲击的声音，弄皱了我的脸，在第三个锁打开之前，我穿过了两个针头。
Inside, there were some gold bits, a nine millimeter automatic pistol, two magazines of nine millimeter ammo, and a folder with a note taped to the front that read: ‘We can’t print this! Image would kill us!’ Okay, M.A.S., M.W.T., even M.o.M., I could understand, but what would the Ministry of Image do? Write a bad review?
里面有一些金片，一把9毫米口径的自动手枪，两个9毫米口径的弹夹，还有一个文件夹，前面贴着一张纸条，上面写着:我们不能印刷这个！形象会要了我们的命好吧，m.a.s.，m.w.t.，甚至m.o.m.，我可以理解，但是图像部会怎么做？写一篇糟糕的评论？
The Armor of Image
影像的盔甲
By Ace Buckley
作者:埃斯·巴克利
We all know the picture of the ministries as the pillars of modern Equestria. Bold, strong, and working for the betterment of all ponies everywhere! We know that image because of the tireless efforts of the Ministry of Image and its Ministry Mare, Rarity. Its duties are to protect, inspire, and brighten our dull lives with fabulosity.
我们都知道这些部门是现代Equestria的支柱。勇敢，强壮，并为所有地方的小马改善工作！我们之所以知道这个图像，是因为图像部及其母马部的不懈努力。它的职责是用惊人的表现来保护、激励和照亮我们枯燥的生活。
So why is the Ministry of Image creating magical armor?
那么为什么影像部要制造魔法盔甲呢？
Yes, that’s exactly what I thought when a confidential source informed me that Rarity was conducting experimental spell and material research on creating armor. This is normally the stuff I expect to come from the Ministry of Wartime Technology, the Ministry of Arcane Science… heck, even Awesome would be up to it. But Image? It’s like a Ministry of Peace weapons program!
是的，当一个机密消息来源告诉我稀有正在进行制造盔甲的实验性咒语和材料研究时，我就是这么想的。这通常是我希望从战时技术部，奥术科学部得到的东西...见鬼，即使是牛叉也能做到。但是形象呢？这就像是和平部的武器计划！
Image has downplayed inquiries that Rarity was simply exploring the possibility of creating low grade armor for Equestrian citizens. If that’s the case, they’re certainly pursuing the research with a decidedly low horn. According to documents obtained from the M.o.M. at Hightower Jail and Shattered Hoof Penitentiary, several ‘undesirable elements’ were transferred to Image custody and unknown destinations courtesy of everypony’s favorite spooks at the O.I.A..
形象已经淡化了疑问，稀有只是探索的可能性，为马术公民创造低等级装甲。如果是这样的话，他们肯定是在低调地进行这项研究。根据从海托华监狱和破蹄监狱的m.o.m获得的文件，一些'不良分子'被转移到图像监护和未知目的地，这些都是o.i.a.里每匹小马最喜欢的间谍提供的。
But, thanks to an exclusive inside source, I can now tell you that these prisoners were used to explore radical and dangerous new techniques of magic. The victims of the experiments were so traumatized that they simply wasted away. Others were driven mad, and we have confirmation that some were sent to Happyhorn Gardens. Unfortunately, Ministry Mare Fluttershy was not willing to comment on these patients, citing confidentiality. However, she said she would discuss the matter personally with Rarity. Will the details be shared with this reporter? Don’t hold your breath!
但是，多亏了一个独家内部消息来源，我现在可以告诉你们，这些囚犯被用来探索极端而危险的新的魔法技术。实验的受害者们精神受到严重创伤，以至于日渐衰弱。还有一些人被逼疯了，我们确认有一些人被送到了哈比霍恩花园。不幸的是，马蹄莲部不愿意评论这些病人，引用保密。不过，她说她会亲自和雷诺讨论这件事。这些细节会告诉记者吗？不要屏住呼吸！
    So, what is the status of Image’s armor research project? Will Ministry Mare Rarity come forward to disclose just what she’s up to? Will she explain to the families of these prisoners why she subjected them to such dangerous magics?
    那么,"影像"的装甲研究项目进展如何？稀有牧师会站出来透露她的企图吗？她会向这些囚犯的家属解释为什么她要让他们受到如此危险的魔法的折磨吗？
Will she disclose her findings to the M.A.S. and independent review? Or will she simply deflect them with a laugh and a wave of her hoof and find something new to distract us with? Inquiring ponies want to know.
她会向m.a.s.和独立评估报告披露她的发现吗？或者她只是用笑声和蹄子摆动来转移视线，然后找些新的东西来分散我们的注意力？好奇的小马想知道。
Okay. That was definitely more interesting than I had expected.
好吧。这绝对比我想象的更有趣。
Suddenly, there was a loud hum, and the lights overhead flickered to life. A radio tuned to a long dead station poured out a sea of static, and the office terminal flashed, crackled, and then died in a puff of acrid purple smoke. “I didn’t do it!” I said to Lacunae. Then a portion of the wall retracted, and a four-wheeled robot rolled into the hallway. “Get down!” I shouted as the sentry robot’s visor bar turned a brilliant crimson.
突然，传来一阵嘈杂的嗡嗡声，头顶上的灯光闪烁着生命的光芒。一台收音机被调到一个早已死亡的电台，发出一片静电的海洋，办公室终端机开始闪烁、噼啪作响，然后在一阵刺鼻的紫色烟雾中熄灭。"不是我干的!"我对拉库尼说。然后墙壁的一部分缩回去了，一个四轮机器人滚进了走廊。"趴下!"哨兵机器人的遮阳板变成了鲜艳的深红色，我喊道。
“Unauthorized presence detected. Initiating removal protocols. Surrender immediately and be disintegrated!” the sentry bot declared, and I knew that there was a robotics programmer two centuries ago needing a swift buck to the head. Of course, by the word ‘removal’, Taurus’s rifle was coming out, and I’d slammed home armor piercing rounds by ‘be’. Then the robot’s missile pod flipped out of its shoulder, Lacunae’s glittering shield flashing up just in time to take the blast. The shimmering magic wall dropped, and I slipped into S.A.T.S. and fired four rounds through its head.
"发现未经授权的存在。启动移除程序。立刻投降，然后被瓦解!"哨兵机器人宣称，我知道两个世纪以前有一个机器人技术程序员需要一头快速的公鹿打他的头。当然，用'移除'这个词，金牛座的步枪出来了，而我用'be'猛击家里的穿甲弹。接着，机器人的导弹分离舱从肩膀上弹了出来，拉库奈闪闪发光的盾牌及时地闪了起来，刚好赶上爆炸。闪闪发光的魔法墙倒了，我溜进了S.A.T.S.，朝它的头部开了四枪。
Of course, it didn’t keep its brain there, so the effect was a little bit spoiled. Lacunae’s minigun bullets simply dinged and sparked off its armored hide, and after a moment she put the weapon aside, her horn flashing as three glowing arrows manifested next to her and streaked into its chest. With a crackle and pop, the sentry went still.
当然，它没有把大脑放在那里，所以效果有点糟糕。她把武器放在一边，她的角闪烁着，三支发光的箭在她身边出现，射进了它的胸膛。哨兵发出劈啪声，站住了。
“I dislike these machines,” she declared calmly as she opened a side panel and pulled out the robot’s 5mm ammunition belts.
"我不喜欢这些机器,"她平静地宣布，她打开侧面板，拉出机器人的5毫米弹药带。
“Oh, why don’t you push yourself? Be peeved. Mildly annoyed. Disgruntled?” I said with a chuckle, my brain running on bullet time rather than ‘think about what you did and are doing to your friends’ time. The missile launcher came off in one big piece, and I held it in my hooves. “Hey! Try using this!”
"哦，你为什么不给自己施加压力呢？恼怒。有点烦躁。心怀不满?"我咯咯地笑着说，我的大脑快要崩溃了，而不是'想想你做了什么，对你的朋友做了什么'。导弹发射器成一个大块脱落了，我把它夹在蹄子里。"嘿！试试这个!"
She looked at the weapon coolly. “Don’t be ridiculous. I could never use that.” I
她冷静地看着武器。"别开玩笑了。我永远不会用那个。"一
stared at her in shock. “It’s loud, noisy, and smelly.”
震惊地盯着她。"噪音很大，很吵，而且很臭。"
“Right. How silly of me!” There was no way I’d manage it. My magical strength wasn’t nearly enough to fire it accurately, and when using missiles I sure as heck wanted to be accurate. We made our way up the stairs and towards the sounds of continuing gunshots and explosions. Scotch Tape’s PipBuck tag flashed in my vision, leading the way.
"对。我真傻!"我不可能做到的。我的魔法力量远远不足以准确地发射它，而且当使用导弹的时候，我非常肯定地希望它是准确的。我们爬上楼梯，朝着持续不断的枪声和爆炸声走去。ScotchTape的PipBuck标签闪现在我的视线中，引领着我前进。
We entered the room filled with printing machines. Whoever had turned on the power hadn’t anticipated turning on the security, because turrets were lighting up and more sentries were activating from their hidden nooks. A missile streaked across the room, exploding in time to send a white and red mass arching overhead, splatting wetly into the wall above us and then falling limply. Rampage opened her eyes as her blown off limbs started to regenerate. Scotch yipped as she scrambled along the edge of the room to join us.
我们走进摆满印刷机的房间。不管是谁打开了电源，都没有预料到会打开安全系统，因为炮塔点亮了，更多的哨兵从他们隐蔽的角落里激活了。一枚导弹掠过房间，及时爆炸，一团红白相间的物体在头顶拱起，湿漉漉地击中我们上方的墙壁，然后无力地倒下。当她被炸飞的肢体开始再生时，狂暴睁开了她的眼睛。苏格兰人边说边沿着房间的边缘爬过来加入我们。
“Did you push something?” I asked sternly.
"你是不是按了什么东西?"我严厉地问道。
The olive filly blanched and pointed her hoof at Rampage. “She told me to!”
橄榄小姑娘的马蹄变白了，指向狂暴。"是她叫我这么做的!"
“It was a shiny red button. How could we not push it?” Rampage groaned as she stood on her restored legs. “Round two, you metal motherfucker!” she cried in glee, charging at the sentry bot that strafed our corner of the room with its minigun.
"那是一颗闪亮的红色纽扣。我们怎么能不去推动它呢?"当她站在恢复的双腿上时，狂暴发作地呻吟着。"第二回合，你这个金属混蛋!"她高兴地叫道，冲向用机关枪扫射我们房间角落的哨兵机器人。
“Well, I guess I can excuse a shiny red button,” I said as I looked at the robots rolling around. “Can you shoot?”
"好吧，我想我可以原谅一个闪亮的红色按钮,"我说，我看着滚动的机器人。"你会开枪吗?"
“Shoot? Shoot what?” I rolled my eyes at her response. That answered that question.
"开枪？射什么?"我对她的回答翻了个白眼。这回答了这个问题。
“Right.” I shoved her down and grabbed her PipBuck. “Okay. Pray I remember how Mom did this,” I said as I pulled out a connection lead and plugged it into her PipBuck. “Okay… security operations… deputize. Confirmation, Marmalade.”
"对。"我把她推倒，抓住她的皮伯克。"好吧。希望我还记得妈妈是怎么做到的,"我一边说，一边拔出一个连接线头，插到她的PipBuck上。"好吧...保安行动...授权。确认，橘子酱。"
Her eyes widened. “Whoa. I can see a little target in my vision.” Good. That meant it worked.
她的眼睛睁大了。"哇。在我的视野里，我可以看到一个小目标。"很好。这意味着它起作用了。
“Yeah. You should have a target, Eyes Forward Sparkle, and S.A.T.S.” I said as I
"是的。你应该有一个目标，眼睛向前闪耀，还有s.a.t.s
lifted out the automatic and pushed it into her mouth. “The little X is where your gun is pointed. Pull the trigger with your tongue. Push this catch to eject the spent magazine. Put in a fresh one and load a round into the chamber with your hoof. Shoot at the smaller robots and, whatever you do, don’t shoot me.”
拿出自动手枪，塞进她嘴里。"小x代表你的枪指着的地方。用你的舌头扣动扳机。推动这个挡块弹出用过的弹匣。放一个新的进去，用你的蹄子把子弹装进去。向较小的机器人开枪，不管你做什么，都不要向我开枪。"
“O--“ she said around the gun, pulling the trigger with her tongue as she tried to speak. She dropped it in shock, and I fell back with my armor stinging from the impact. I glared at her as she flushed. “--kay…” she finished lamely.
"哦——"她绕着枪说，一边用舌头扣动扳机，一边试图说话。她吓得把它掉在地上，我倒了下去，盔甲也刺痛了。她脸红了，我瞪着她。"--kay..."她一瘸一拐地说完。
“Welcome to the group,” I muttered as I stood and pulled out the shotgun, loading slugs. More robots were orienting on our position as one of the massive printers started to spark and smoke. I supposed trying to run after two centuries of no maintenance was a little risky. “Lacunae. Go to the second floor and get Glory and P-21 down here and out.” There were more sentries and Protectapony robots making their way towards the disturbance in the print room.
"欢迎加入我们,"我站起来，拿出猎枪，装上子弹，喃喃自语道。随着一台巨型打印机开始冒火冒烟，越来越多的机器人正在定位我们的位置。我认为在两个世纪没有维护的情况下试图跑步是有点危险的。"空白。去二楼，把晨辉和P-21从这里带出去。"还有更多的哨兵和保护机器人正朝着打印室的干扰方向前进。
Lacunae nodded once and flashed away from view. Then it was fight time. Rampage was the target, drawing most of their attention. I played flanker, running around behind the sentries to fire point blank into the gaps between the different parts of their chassis. I just prayed Scotch Tape lived through this fight.
拉库奈点了点头，然后从视线中消失了。然后就是战斗时间。暴怒是目标，吸引了他们大部分的注意力。我扮演侧翼，跑到岗哨后面近距离射击他们的底盘不同部分之间的空隙。我只祈祷苏格兰胶带能挺过这场战斗。
Then the room exploded. Okay, no, the missile exploded. Apparently, I was more target than I anticipated and found myself on a ballistic journey across the room. I landed in a numb heap, my combat armor smoking as the Workhorse sentry oriented towards me. I couldn’t help but smile as its gatling gun started to spin. I could get away, maybe. I might be able to blast it. I just felt so tired. So heavy. So slow.
然后房间爆炸了。好吧，不，导弹爆炸了。很显然，我比我预想的更容易成为目标，并且发现自己像弹道导弹一样穿过房间。我落在一个麻木的堆上，我的战斗盔甲冒着烟，像一匹驮马的哨兵朝我走来。当它的加特林机枪开始旋转时，我忍不住笑了。也许我可以离开。我也许能把它炸掉。我只是觉得太累了。好重啊。太慢了。
Then the sentry jerked, and I blinked as the red bar disappeared.
然后哨兵猛地一扭，我眨了眨眼，红条消失了。
Scotch Tape ducked down from behind it with wrench in her jaws and a spark battery between her hooves. She stared at me, trying to shout something around the wrench to the effect of “Wha re oo doeng? Ooove!”
透明胶带从后面弯下身来，上下颚里装着扳手，两蹄之间放着火花电池。她盯着我，试图在扳手周围喊些什么，大意是:"你在做什么?"？噢!"
Okay, when a fresh-out-of-the-stable filly almost half my age is telling me to move, then I know I need to get my ass in gear. I scrambled to my hooves and snatched up my gun. Even though she couldn’t die, Rampage could still lose and we could still bite it. I had to get my head in the game, or I’d be burying my friends instead of them burying me.
好吧，当一个刚从马厩里出来的几乎是我一半年龄的小姑娘告诉我要搬家的时候，我就知道我得赶紧行动了。我拼命跑起来，抓起我的枪。即使她不会死，狂暴仍然可能失败，我们仍然可以咬它。我必须集中精力比赛，否则我会埋葬我的朋友而不是他们埋葬我。
We were moving again, trying not to let the robots get a decent bead on us as I did my best to take out the sentries engaged with Rampage. Even she was regenerating slower and moving with increasing disorientation. If she gave out, how long could I withstand their fire?
我们又开始移动，尽量不让机器人发现我们，因为我已经尽最大努力消灭了与狂暴交战的哨兵。甚至她也恢复得更慢了，行动也越来越迷失了方向。如果她死了，我还能忍受他们的火焰多久？
“Scotch. I need you to get me something,” I said with a grimace. I was going to need a bigger gun. No, not Folly. That was like… an anti-building gun. I told her what to do as I watched Rampage go down again. Two sentries began to turn towards me, and I ran as missiles streaked after me, cooking my tail as Rampage struggled to rise again.
"苏格兰威士忌。"我需要你帮我拿点东西,"我做了个鬼脸说。我需要一把更大的枪。不，不是愚蠢。那就像是...反建筑的枪。我告诉她该怎么做，我看着狂暴再次降临。两个哨兵开始朝我转过身来，我跑过去，后面跟着一条条的导弹，把我的尾巴烧焦了，狂暴的士兵挣扎着要再次站起来。
I took cover behind one of the groaning, chattering printing presses and reloaded, my ears ringing and nose bleeding from the overpressure of the explosions. I panted through my mouth to keep my ears from popping as I backed away from the next sentry rolling around the corner towards me. I really missed those spark rounds.
我躲在一台喋喋不休的印刷机后面，重新装了子弹，我的耳朵嗡嗡作响，鼻子因为爆炸的过度压力而流血。当我从拐角处朝我滚来的下一个哨兵身边退开时，我用嘴喘着气以免耳朵发出爆裂声。我真的错过了那些火花弹。
Then Scotch Tape backed out of the hallway with the missile launcher I’d removed in tow. “Good job!” I yelled as I stuck my shotgun in its sling and raced to her. The heavy weapon shimmered as my magic strained to lift and orient the reinforced tube. “Cross your hooves,” I yelled as I jumped into S.A.T.S. and put almost the spell’s whole charge into the shot.
然后苏格兰胶带带着我拖着的导弹发射器退出了走廊。"干得好!"我一边喊着，一边把我的猎枪放进弹弓，冲向她。重型武器闪闪发光，因为我的魔法紧张地提起和东方加强管。"交叉你的蹄子,"我喊道，我跳进了s.a.t.s，把几乎整个咒语的能量都注入了子弹。
The missile streaked towards two of the sentries, striking soundly in the middle. My magic failed and the backblast sent the missile launcher back down the hall behind me. Still, with an explosion of metal, the sentries were blasted into pieces. That just left three more. “Go get it!” I called out, bringing out the shotgun again.
导弹飞向其中两个哨兵，在中间发出沉重的响声。我的魔法失败了，反冲击波把导弹发射器打回了我身后的大厅。然而，随着金属的爆炸，哨兵被炸成了碎片。还剩下三个。"去把它捡回来!"我喊道，又拿出了猎枪。
“What am I, your dog?” she yelled at me crossly.
"我是谁，你的狗吗?"她生气地冲我大喊大叫。
“Yes! Now fetch!” I laughed, feeling… good? Excited? Not like a corpse waiting to die? One of them. Glory and P-21 came out onto the catwalks overhead, and precision green beams joined strafing minigun rounds and grenade blasts. Rampage ripped off the head of one robot and crawled inside as it wheeled about helplessly. Finally, Scotch Tape dragged the missile launcher back and loaded it, and I tried for a shot at the last sentry, which was sending one missile after another at the catwalks.
"是的！现在去捡吧!"我笑了，感觉...好吗？兴奋吗？不像一具等死的尸体？其中之一。晨辉和P-21出现在头顶的t型台上，精确的绿色光束加入了迷你扫射枪和手榴弹的轰炸。狂暴撕下了一个机器人的头，在它无助地转动时爬了进去。最后，ScotchTape把导弹发射器拖回去装上子弹，我试着朝最后一个哨兵开枪，那个哨兵正在猫道上一个接一个地发射导弹。
I entered S.A.T.S., took my target, and breathed out as the hovering weapon
我进入s.a.t.s，拿起我的目标，呼出气来，像一个盘旋的武器
fired. This time, I managed to keep the missile launcher from flying back as the explosive projectile blasted the remaining sentry bot. I sunk to my haunches, laughing, hugging the hot metal tube to my chest. Missile launchers. Loud, noisy, smelly, and fun!
解雇。这一次，我成功地阻止了导弹发射器飞回来，因为爆炸性炮弹炸毁了余下的哨兵机器人。我沉到了腰部，笑着，把热乎乎的金属管抱在胸前。导弹发射器。喧闹，嘈杂，难闻，而且有趣！
But as I sat there, the smoke hazing the air, I felt like I was looking out of the Overmare’s window once more. My throbbing ears could hear the distant screams choked silent in gagging, gasping agony. I pressed my face to the warm green metal. Murderer. I felt the tears running down my cheeks. Foal killer. I grit my teeth, hovering somewhere between tears and laughter. I could smell the chlorine. I could hear the screams.
但是当我坐在那里，烟雾笼罩着空气，我感觉我又一次看到了Overmare的窗外。我颤动的耳朵可以听到远处的尖叫声，因为呕吐和痛苦的喘息而窒息。我把脸紧贴在温暖的绿色金属上。杀人犯。我感到眼泪顺着我的脸颊流了下来。小马驹杀手。我咬紧牙关，徘徊在泪水和欢笑之间。我能闻到氯气的味道。我能听到尖叫声。
Scotch Tape sat next to me, staring in shock as I hugged the tube, unable to stand. I sobbed as I did all I could just to curl the ends of my lips up. “I’m sorry, Scotch Tape. I’m so sorry I killed our home.”
苏格兰胶带坐在我旁边，震惊地盯着我，我抱住了试管，无法站起来。我一边抽泣一边尽我所能地把嘴唇卷起来。"对不起，透明胶带。我很抱歉我毁了我们的家。"
She looked at me, seeing the real me. Not the laughing idiot or even the fake hero, but the murderer. I hated the pity in her eyes, even if it was what I desperately needed. “Yeah. Me too,” she said quietly before she rose. “Hey! Don’t mess with that! Let me see if there’s something good in there!” she yelled as Rampage proceeded to smash the robotic remains.
她看着我，看到了真实的我。不是那个会笑的傻瓜，甚至不是那个假英雄，而是那个杀人犯。我讨厌她眼中的怜悯，即使这是我迫切需要的。"是的。我也是,"她站起身来，平静地说。"嘿！别搞砸了！让我看看里面有没有好东西!"当狂暴继续砸碎机器人遗骸时，她大叫起来。
We survive in the Wasteland through doing. Action. If we think, we drown. We grasp for meaning in vain. Why was I alive? EC-1101? No. Helping a Wasteland determined to sink and die in poison and hate? Not if I were honest with myself. Glory? Goddesses, let it be for Glory. Please.
我们通过行动在荒原中生存。行动。如果我们思考，我们就会淹死。我们徒劳地追求意义。为什么我还活着？Ec-1101？没有。帮助一个决心沉沦和死于毒药和仇恨的荒原？如果我对自己诚实的话就不会。晨辉？女神们，让它成为晨辉吧。求你了。
* * *
* * *
MASEBS Broadcast Tower 14 was only an hour or two east of the Hoofington Weekly building we’d left in our wake. To the northeast, I could barely make out the sliver of gray ocean, while to the south I could see the round building of the Hoofington Arena. Beyond that was the Core. Scotch Tape stared up at the huge white metal spire rising endlessly towards the clouds overhead. Lights glowed dimly on a broadcast dish-festooned ring platform high, high above the ground but not even at the midpoint of the tower. The outside was distracting her from what we’d left behind.
14号广播塔距离我们离开的胡芬顿周报大楼只有一两个小时的车程。在东北方向，我几乎辨认不出一片灰色的海洋，而在南方，我可以看到胡芬顿竞技场的圆形建筑。除此之外就是核心。透明胶带凝视着那巨大的白色金属尖顶，无穷无尽地朝着头顶上的云层升起。灯光昏暗地闪烁在一个高高的环形广播平台上，这个平台高出地面，但甚至不在塔的中点。外面的环境让她无法专心看我们留下的东西。
“How high does it go?” the young mare asked Glory, who seemed amused with her fascination.
"它能飞多高?"年轻的母马问晨辉，晨辉似乎被她的魅力逗乐了。
“Higher than the clouds. Nopony knows what they were for originally, but we use them today to grow our food. Thunderhead has the distinction of being one of the most advanced agricultural centers in the Enclave. We’re one of the few that managed a surplus harvest every year for the past fifty years.” She didn’t try to hide the pride swelling her chest. “No other pegasus community has managed that.”
"比云还高。Nopony知道它们最初是用来做什么的，但是我们今天用它们来种植食物。雷海德被誉为昂科雷最先进的农业中心之一。在过去的50年里，我们是少数几个每年都有盈余收成的国家之一。"她没有试图掩饰自豪感使她的胸部膨胀。"没有其他飞马公司能做到这一点。"
“Thunderhead? What’s that?” Scotch asked as she craned her neck back.
"霹雳头？那是什么?"苏格兰人伸长脖子问道。
“Well… it’s my… it’s where I’m from originally.” She deflated almost instantly; there was no covering the hurt. She took a deep breath and fell into a vaguely pedantic tone. “Before the bombs fell, Thunderhead was a support settlement for the forces working out of Shadowbolt Tower. When the war ended, we became one of the primary Enclave bases in the east; at first, this was just due to our possession of the tower, but, as the new order settled in, it quickly became clear that Thunderhead was preserving and building on the innovative, productive spirit that Hoofington was famous for. Today, Thunderhead enjoys one of the highest standards of living in the Enclave, and its people are forward-thinking technologically, scientifically, and socially. It's even the first Enclave settlement to begin sending aid down to the surface."
"嗯......这是我的......这是我的老家。"她几乎立刻泄了气，没有办法掩饰她的伤痛。她深深地吸了一口气，变成了一种模糊的卖弄学问的腔调。"在炸弹落下之前，雷头城是在影螺塔外工作的部队的一个补给点。战争结束后，我们成为东部主要的昂科雷基地之一;起初，这只是因为我们占有了这座塔，但是，随着新秩序的建立，很快就清楚地看到，Thunderhead保留并建立了胡芬顿闻名的创新、富有成效的精神。今天，雷头城享受着昂科雷最高的生活水平，它的人民在科技、科学和社会方面都具有前瞻性思维。这甚至是第一个开始向地面运送救援物资的飞地定居点。"
Scotch Tape looked at the ruins to the south. “So, where exactly are they sending this aid?”
苏格兰胶布望着南边的废墟。"那么，他们到底要把这些援助送到哪里去?"
Glory flushed and glanced at me. I arched a brow. Did she really want me to come to her rescue on this? I half-agreed with the filly. The little gray pegasus sighed. “Well, here, but there’s a lot of work to do and there’s been a lot of resistance. But we’re trying to do better.”
晨辉脸红了，瞥了我一眼。我挑起眉毛。她真的希望我来救她吗？我半同意那匹小母马的意见。灰色的小飞马叹了口气。"好吧，在这里，但是还有很多工作要做，还有很多阻力。但我们正努力做得更好。"
When they’re not developing biological weapons.
当他们不发展生物武器的时候。
“Why didn’t you come down sooner?” Scotch asked as she walked beside Glory, her utility harness jingling with the tools she’d had on her when she’d fled. None of them were for removing PipBucks, unfortunately.
"你怎么不早点下来?"苏格兰人问道，她走在晨辉身边，她的多功能马具和她逃跑时随身携带的工具叮当作响。不幸的是，没有一个是用来去除PipBucks的。
Glory sighed again. “We wanted to, but for years the surface was too radioactive. Then there wasn’t anypony down here to help. Then for a while, the ponies that were down here were savage, mindless monsters. And of course there’s always fear of biological contamination.”
晨辉又叹了口气。"我们想这么做，但多年来，表面的放射性太强。那么这里就没有小马可以帮忙了。然后有一段时间，这里的小马变成了野蛮的，没有思想的怪物。当然，人们总是担心生物污染。"
Biological contamination. I cocked my head, trying to think about this some. “Glory… Lighthooves was trying to infect a pegasus with the raider plague. Why would he do that? Why not just spray it over every pony village down on the surface and wipe us all out?” Glory blinked at me and then shrugged. “We’ve been thinking about the cannibalism and the mindless loyalty the disease fosters…” I continued, “but what if… what if all he’s after is a spectacle? A contagion that would be an excuse for pegasi to never ever come back to the surface again? Who cares how it works if it’s something they’ve never seen before and scares the feathers off them?”
生物污染。我抬起头，试着想一想这件事。"晨辉......光剑企图用袭击者的瘟疫感染一匹飞马。他为什么要这么做？为什么不把它喷洒到每个小马村庄的表面上，把我们全部消灭掉呢?"格洛里向我眨眨眼，然后耸耸肩。"我们一直在思考同类相食和这种疾病所培养的盲目忠诚......"我继续说道,"但是如果......如果他所追求的只是一个奇观呢？一种传染病会成为飞马座永远不会再出现在地表的借口吗？如果是他们以前从未见过的东西，把他们吓得魂飞魄散，谁还在乎它是如何工作的呢?"
“If there was a real contagion like the ones they talk about on the Science Network…” Glory chewed on the end of her wing as she thought about it for a moment. “Something verified by outside sources as a deadly threat… you’re right. I don’t think we’d ever come down here again.” She shivered. “And the lightning rods would keep anypony down here from making it to the clouds. It’d permanently sever any hope of fixing things between pegasi and the surface.”
"如果有一种真正的传染病，就像他们在科学网络上谈论的那样......"晨辉咬着她的翅膀，她想了一会儿。"一些被外界证实为致命威胁的东西......你是对的。我想我们再也不会来这里了。"她打了个哆嗦。"避雷针可以阻止这里的小马飞向云层。这将永久地破坏飞马座和表面之间的固定装置。"
“Especially if Thunderhead is responsible for finding a cure,” P-21 added. “Seems like a perfect way to keep the status quo.”
"特别是如果雷头负责找到治愈,"P-21补充说。"这似乎是维持现状的完美方式。"
I didn’t answer. Thinking of Lighthooves made me feel… nothing. I wanted to stop him, but it was an abstract and distant desire. It was the same as how EC-1101 had gone from a burning curiosity to a dull interest. Everything inside me had been snuffed out by chlorine gas and strangled screams. I tripped over a rock and nearly sprawled on my face. Damn, I couldn’t even walk anymore.
我没有回答。想到Lighthooves让我觉得...什么都没有。我想阻止他，但那是一种抽象而遥远的愿望。这和EC-1101是如何从一个燃烧的好奇心变成一个枯燥的兴趣是一样的。我体内的一切都被氯气和窒息的尖叫声窒息了。我被一块石头绊了一下，差点摔在脸上。该死，我都不能走路了。
“You should turn on your radio,” Rampage said as her tail swished behind Scotch Tape and swatted her rump, making the young mare jump; thankfully, it hadn’t hit hard enough to rip her barding. “Now that you’re on the outside, you need to hear DJ Pon3. He’s a big fan of Blackjack.”
"你应该打开你的收音机,"朗格说，她的尾巴在苏格兰胶带后面甩动着，拍打着她的臀部，让那匹小母马跳了起来;谢天谢地，它没有打得太重，没有撕裂她的肚皮。"现在你在外面，你需要听听DJPon3。他是黑杰克的超级粉丝。"
“He’s a fan of Security,” I muttered, not wanting to listen in on what he might say. “No surprise, since he’s the one who made her, Goddesses know why.”
"他是个保安迷,"我喃喃自语，不想听他会说些什么。"不奇怪，因为是他创造了她，女神们知道为什么。"
“Security?” Scotch Tape asked, then flicked the radio on. I was thankful to hear Sweetie Belle’s melodious voice rise from her speaker. The olive filly looked shocked. I remembered how I’d felt the first time I’d heard music that wasn’t stable sanctioned and glorifying the Overmare.
"安全?"苏格兰胶带问道，然后打开收音机。我很高兴听到甜心贝儿那悦耳的声音从她的话筒里传了出来。那个橄榄色的小姑娘看起来很震惊。我还记得我第一次听到那些没有得到稳定认可、歌颂Overmare的音乐时的感受。
I gestured to the word on my armor. “DJ Pon3 found out that I was helping
我指了指我盔甲上的字。"DJPon3发现我在帮忙
ponies out here and started calling me the Security Mare.” She looked at me skeptically, and I shrugged. “Don’t look at me. It’s not like I asked him to.”
然后开始叫我安全母马。"她怀疑地看着我，我耸了耸肩。"别看我。又不是我让他这么做的。"
“That hasn’t stopped her from taking advantage of it when she can,” P-21 said with a little smirk. But I didn’t mirror it. Once, I’d been both annoyed and secretly proud of being Security; it’d somehow made me stand out above the rest of the Wasteland, corny as it was. But it’d been a lie. I wasn’t better than the scum out there. I was worse. Maybe this Red Eye might have killed as many ponies as I; anypony nasty enough to take over Paradise sounded like a piece of work.
"这并没有阻止她利用这个机会,"P-21带着一丝得意的笑容说。但我没有模仿。有一次，我为自己是一个安全人员而感到恼火和暗自骄傲;不知怎么的，这让我在荒原的其他地方脱颖而出，尽管它很土。但那是个谎言。我比那些人渣好不了多少。我更糟糕。也许红眼杀死的小马可能和我一样多;任何足以接管天堂的小马听起来都像是一件工作。
“Stop it, Blackjack,” P-21 muttered beside me. I looked at him in surprise. “You’re thinking about it? Aren’t you? Kicking yourself isn’t going to solve anything.”
"住手，黑杰克,"P-21在我旁边喃喃自语。我惊奇地看着他。"你在考虑这件事吗？不是吗？自责解决不了任何问题。"
“No. I’m fine. I had to do it. I know that.” I gave him a broad smile.
"没有。我没事。我必须这么做。我知道。"我给了他一个灿烂的微笑。
“It’s okay to be sad, Blackjack.”
"伤心是正常的，Blackjack。"
I wasn’t sad, though. I felt… hollow. Empty. Brittle. I was going to the tower from inertia; I didn’t want to go. It was just the only destination any of us had. It was pretending like everything was okay. “I’m good, P-21. I’m just fine.” Maybe I didn’t want anything, but I knew what I didn’t want. I didn’t want my friends hurt. I didn’t want them to worry. I didn’t want EC-1101 in Sanguine’s hooves. I didn’t want to keep walking like this. I just had to keep up the lie. Go through the motions. Hope.
但我并不难过。我感到...空虚。空空如也。布里特尔。我是因为惯性才去塔楼的，我不想去。这是我们唯一的目的地。它假装一切都很好。"我很好，P-21。我很好。"也许我什么都不想要，但我知道我不想要什么。我不想我的朋友受到伤害。我不想让他们担心。我不想让EC-1101在Sanguine的蹄子上。我不想一直这样走下去。我只是不得不继续撒谎。走过场。希望。
Eventually, the music came to an end, and the robust stallion came on. “Well, hello there, children! It’s your MC of the Wasteland, DJ Pon3! Time for some news.” I relaxed a little as he went on about the troubles around Manehattan and with Red Eye and other difficulties. My ears strained for some word about the Stable Dweller; I needed to believe there was somepony out there who could fix things in the Wasteland without murdering innocent ponies. Unfortunately, it looked like he didn’t have anything to say about her at the moment.
最后，音乐结束了，那匹健壮的种马上场了。"喂，你们好，孩子们！这是你的荒原主持人，DJPon3！是时候宣布一些消息了。"我稍微放松了一下，他继续谈论着Manehattan周围的问题，还有红眼病和其他的困难。我的耳朵紧张地想听到一些关于马厩居民的消息;我需要相信有一种小马可以在荒原上修理东西而不会杀害无辜的小马。不幸的是，此刻他似乎对她一无所知。
After a mention of things happening around Stalliongrad, he then said the words that I’d been dreading. “It’s time for some news for our friends out east. Some of you might notice that things are a little quieter than usual out there around the Core. Yeah, I can hear you from here, kiddies: ‘But DJ, weren’t you telling us to hammer up the windows, barricade the doors, and turn off all the lights ‘cause a
在提到Stalliongrad周围发生的事情之后，他说出了我一直害怕的话。"是时候告诉我们在东部的朋友一些消息了。你们中的一些人可能会注意到围绕在核心区域的东西比平常要安静一些。是的，我在这里就能听到你们的声音，孩子们:"但是DJ，你不是告诉我们要把窗户钉起来，把门挡起来，把所有的灯都关掉吗
bajillion raiders were coming to eat us?’
成千上万的突袭机要来吃我们
“Yup. I did. I admit it. But…” He gave a low chuckle of anticipation. “Turns out that somepony out there must have been listening up, because she went right where they were thickest and all of a sudden it’s quiet. Dozens of raiders simply gone. No shots. No bodies. Just quiet. Now that’s some pretty good work. Now we can just hope the Reapers and Rangers get the clue and knock off their latest pissing match over the Zenith Bridge before Security heads in that direction.
"是的。是的。我承认。但是......"他低声笑了笑，满怀期待。"原来外面那匹小马一定在偷听，因为她刚好去了它们最密集的地方，突然间就安静下来了。几十个袭击者就这么消失了。没有枪声。没有尸体。只是安静。干得不错。现在我们只能希望收割者和流浪者能够得到线索，在安全部队向那个方向前进之前结束他们在ZenithBridge的最后一场激烈的比赛。
“In other news around the Core, what do folks make of these ‘Volunteer Corps’? Now, we all know that, somewhere up above, the pegasi are making clouds right and left so thick that even I can’t see through ‘em, but now out of the blue a whole slew of them are around the Hoof offering to help. Well, that’s awfully nice, but when you ask ‘em to take care of some raiders or maybe something really crazy like let the sun through, they’re just hemming and hawing. Look. I’m glad you’re back, but if you’re going to help, then make like Security and help. Don’t just show up with a skywagon full of excuses why you can’t do what we really need.
"在围绕核心的其他新闻中，人们如何看待这些'志愿兵团'？现在，我们都知道，在飞马座上方的某个地方，左右形成了厚厚的云层，以至于连我都看不透它们，但是现在，突然之间，大量的云层围绕在霍夫身边，提供帮助。好吧，那真是太好了，但是当你让他们照顾一些突袭机，或者一些真正疯狂的事情，比如让太阳通过，他们只是犹豫不决。看。我很高兴你回来了，但是如果你要帮忙的话，就像保安那样帮忙。不要只是带着一辆满载借口的货车出现，为什么你不能做我们真正需要的事情。
“So let’s hear it for Security, for fighting the good fight and taking it right to the heart of the matter. Here is a mare that’ll do whatever it takes to make the Wasteland a better place. This is DJ Pon3, bringing you the truth… no matter how bad it hurts.”
"所以，让我们为安全、为正义而战、直击问题的核心而欢呼吧。这是一匹母马，它会不惜一切代价把荒原变成一个更好的地方。这里是DJPon3，为您带来真相......无论伤害有多深。"
Speaking of hurt, it really stings when you walk right into a tree! I fell hard on my rump, clutching my horn in my hooves as I hissed ‘Ow…’ over and over again. I tried not to think about what I’d just heard. I looked back at the others who’d watched me just smack my dumb face into a dumb tree. “Woopsie. Looks like listening and walking at the same time is too much for me. Think we can turn off Pon3?” I asked, grinning as widely as I could, keeping my eyes closed so I wouldn’t have to see their faces.
说到伤害，当你径直走进一棵树的时候，它真的刺痛！我重重地摔在我的臀部，用我的蹄子紧紧抓住我的喇叭，一遍又一遍地嘶叫着'嗷......'。我尽量不去想我刚才听到的话。我回头看了看其他人，他们只是看着我把哑巴的脸撞到一棵哑巴树上。"哎呀。看来一边听一边走对我来说太难了。你觉得我们能关掉Pon3吗?"我问道，尽可能地咧着嘴笑，闭着眼睛，这样我就不会看到他们的脸。
Doing what had to be done. That sounded so simple. It should be easy. Blame Rivets and Stable 99 obstinacy, calmly and coolly accept that their death was inevitable and that I’d prevented more harm than if I had simply sealed them up.
做必须做的事。这听起来很简单。应该很简单。责怪铆钉和稳定的99固执，平静和冷静地接受他们的死亡是不可避免的，我已经避免了更多的伤害，如果我只是封闭他们。
So why couldn’t I do it?
那么为什么我做不到呢？
I wanted the Dealer here. I wanted some kind of cryptic bullshit to confuse me. I needed something inscrutable to make me not face the simple truth. I had to
我希望庄家在这里。我想要一些神秘的鬼话来迷惑我。我需要一些不可思议的东西来使我不去面对简单的事实。我必须这么做
smile. I had to keep it together. Everypony needed me to hold it together.
微笑。我必须振作起来。每个小马都需要我来支撑它。
Sweet Celestia, why couldn’t I stop the screaming?
亲爱的塞莱斯蒂亚，为什么我不能停止尖叫？
* * *
* * *
I have a special talent with ambushes: I walk into them with surprising regularity. This one, I was simply staying on point, keeping my back to all my friends, when the bullet slammed into my left shoulder. Oh, hello. Red bars. I grinned and laughed as my friends took cover, feeling the dull thump against my barding as the three or so raiders fired at us from the cover of a covered wagon. Out came the rifle and I peered down the scope, not even registering who or what I was shooting at.
我在埋伏方面有一种特殊的天赋:我以惊人的规律性走进他们。这一次，当子弹打中我的左肩时，我只是站在原地，背对着我所有的朋友。你好。红条。当我的朋友们找地方躲起来的时候，我咧嘴大笑，感受着三个左右的袭击者从一辆篷车的掩护下向我们开火的沉闷的撞击声。步枪走了出来，我低头瞄准镜，甚至没有注意到我在向谁或者什么东西射击。
Red, it’s dead. S.A.T.S., three shots to the head. Engage… Boom… boom… Then I was being knocked do the ground by P-21. I just looked up at him as he shouted down, “Blackjack! What do you think you’re doing?”
瑞德，它死了。高考，头部中了三枪。交火...轰...轰...然后我被P-21击倒在地。我只是抬头看着他，他大声地喊道:"Blackjack！你以为你在干什么?"
“Daddy!” I heard a filly wail as Glory took wing and flew to where the poor scavenger ponies curled up, their varmint hunting rifle discarded. Hastily, Glory worked to treat the massive damage I’d done to my target’s head.
"爸爸!"我听到一声小母马的哀号，晨辉展翅飞向那些可怜的拾荒小马，它们的猎枪被丢弃了。匆忙中，晨辉处理了我对目标头部造成的巨大伤害。
I just looked up at him, his staring eyes wide with fear and confusion as I murmured softly, “Red, it’s dead. Red, it’s dead.”
我只是抬头看着他，他瞪大的眼睛里充满了恐惧和困惑，我轻轻地喃喃地说,"红色，它死了。红色，它死了。"
* * *
* * *
“She’s losing it,” P-21 said quietly from the campfire. The stallion I’d shot wasn’t doing well at all. Healing potions could do a lot, but not much for a brain that had taken a bullet through the middle. I lay apart from the others, staring into the darkness. Just a little family scavenging unit scared to death of being trapped in raider territory, and who’d shot first without the benefit of an E.F.S. to let them know I wasn’t hostile.
"她失去理智了,"P-21在篝火旁平静地说。我射中的那匹种马一点也不好。治疗药剂可以做很多事情，但是对于一个中弹的大脑来说就没什么用了。我与其他人分开躺着，凝视着黑暗。只是一个小小的家庭食腐部队，害怕被困在袭击者的地盘上，而且在没有e.f.s的帮助下先开枪，让他们知道我没有敌意。
“She’s been under incredible strain. She’s coping as well as she can,” Glory said.
"她承受着难以置信的压力。她已经尽力了。"晨辉说。
I could feel her eyes on my back.
我能感觉到她的眼睛盯着我的背。
“No. She isn’t, and you know that better than any of us, Glory. You’ve seen her push herself to the point of physical collapse.” I’d tried so hard to be strong. And I was trying to keep it together. I was. I was trying to be happy. I was trying to
"没有。她不是，你比我们任何人都清楚，晨辉。你已经看到她把自己逼到了崩溃的边缘。"我那么努力地想变得坚强。我一直在努力保持冷静。是的。我只是想快乐起来。我正在努力
live for them.
为他们而活。
Glory didn’t say anything. I knew she didn’t have to. “She’s going crazy, isn’t she?” Scotch Tape summed it up excellently. The gray pegasus gave a soft sob.
晨辉什么都没说。我知道她没必要这么做。"她疯了，是不是?"透明胶带很好地总结了这一点。灰色的飞马发出轻柔的呜咽。
“I’m going to check on him. Give him some more Med-X,” Glory said thickly as she rose and walked back into the cargo wagon that had become a makeshift hospice.
"我去看看他。"再给他一些Med-X,"晨辉一边站起身，一边粗声粗气地说，她走回了那辆临时搭建的运货马车。
“What are we going to do?” P-21 said quietly. You’re going to do better. Whatever you do, you’ll do better than I have. I’m a murderer. A killer. This proves it.
"我们该怎么办?"P-21小组平静地说。你会做得更好。无论你做什么，你都会比我做得更好。我是个杀人犯。一个杀手。这就是证明。
“What would you do if there was no Blackjack?” Rampage asked.
"如果没有黑杰克，你会怎么做?"狂暴问道。
“I don’t know,” P-21 said quietly. “I just don’t know. Goddesses, I need her. Her and her stupid quest… it kept us going. Now that she’s falling apart, I don’t know. Try to find a life in Megamart or Chapel… or something.” I should tell him that he’d be fine without me. That he was too smart to let the Wasteland hold him down. Without me, he’d do something amazing.
"我不知道,"P-21平静地说。"我就是不知道。女神们，我需要她。她和她愚蠢的追求...让我们坚持下去。现在她快崩溃了，我不知道。试着在Megamart或者教堂或者其他什么地方找到自己的生活。"我应该告诉他没有我他也会过得很好。他太聪明了，不会让荒原压倒他。没有我，他会做出惊人的成绩。
“And me?” Scotch Tape asked. I’d saved her life and killed everypony she knew. And now she was travelling with her killers. She was a good pony, for now. I didn’t imagine her mother beat her and tormented her.
"那我呢?"透明胶带问道。我救了她的命，杀了她认识的所有人。现在她正和杀她的人一起旅行。现在看来，她是一匹好马。我没想到她母亲会打她，折磨她。
“Well, fortunately, there’s always a job opening slaughtering wannabe Reapers while picking fights with the Steel Rangers across the river. It’s a living,” Rampage said quietly. Lacunae said nothing. I supposed she would do… something. Return to Chapel? Continue searching on her own?
"好吧，幸运的是，总有一个职位空缺，一边屠杀那些想成为收割者的人，一边挑起与钢铁骑兵在河对岸的战斗。这是一种生活,"狂暴平静地说。空隙什么也没说。我猜她会...做点什么。回到教堂？继续自己寻找？
And Glory… who had lost everything… what would she do? Where could a Dashite go in this world? Would she continue her search to clear her name? Take on Lighthooves by herself? Or try to find a quiet part of the Wasteland to live in?
还有晨辉......失去了一切......她会怎么做？在这个世界上，一个达什人能去哪里呢？她会继续寻找证明自己清白的机会吗？自己一个人驾驶轻型飞机？或试图找到一个安静的荒原生活的一部分？
Till slavers took her. Till poison choked her. Till monsters ate her. Till the Dealer took one more pony. And one more. And one more. Because that was what the Wasteland did. ‘It’s not getting any better,’ Rampage had said. ‘It’s getting worse. The poison spreads a little more day by day. And one day, if I don’t die, I think I’ll be the last pony left in the world.’ You’re right to be afraid, Rampage, because you are. And there wasn’t anything I could do. The Wasteland always
直到奴隶贩子带走了她。直到毒药使她窒息。直到怪物把她吃了。直到庄家又赢了一匹小马。还有一个。还有一个。因为这就是荒原所做的。"情况并没有好转,"朗格说。情况越来越糟。毒药一天比一天多扩散一点。有一天，如果我不死，我想我会是世界上最后一匹小马你害怕是对的，狂暴，因为你就是。我也无能为力。荒原总是
won.
赢。
From the trailer rose an anguished wail. It joined perfectly with the screams in my head, echoing that word over and over again.
从拖车里传出一声痛苦的哀号。它与我脑海中的尖叫声完美地结合在一起，一遍又一遍地重复着那个词。
And one more.
还有一个。
I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t do this. I had to leave… but I couldn’t. So I did the next best thing. I floated an orb from my pocket and touched my horn to it.
我不能留在这里。我不能这么做。我不得不离开...但我不能。所以我做了次好的事情。我从口袋里拿出一个圆球，摸了摸我的号角。
oooOOOooo
噢噢噢
Pony… male… earth. I felt big and heavy. Uniform. Gun. Peppermint cologne? That was unexpected. He stepped in front of the mirror. Doof still had all the charm of a cinderblock. He turned this way and smiled. That way and grinned. It somehow managed to resemble a leer. Slowly he collapsed on his rump, pressing his hooves to his head. “This just ain’t gonna work, Momma. I know you say I gotta be brave and all… show her how I feel… but it just ain’t gonna work.”
小马......雄性......大地。我觉得自己又大又重。制服。枪。薄荷味古龙水？真是出乎意料。他走到镜子前面。杜夫仍然具有煤渣砖的所有魅力。他转过身来，笑了。那边，咧嘴一笑。不知何故，它设法像一个斜眼。他慢慢地趴在地上，用蹄子顶着头。"这样不行，妈妈。我知道你说我必须勇敢......让她知道我的感受......但是这行不通。"
“Doofus, you idjit!” a crabby mare snapped from the other room. “You like this mare, don’tcha?”
"笨蛋，你这个白痴!"一只脾气暴躁的母马从另一个房间突然叫了起来。"你喜欢这匹母马，是不是?"
“Yeah, Momma. More than anything.”
"是的，妈妈。胜过一切。"
“And yer saying she’s hurtin’ bad right now?”
"你说她现在很痛苦?"
“We all are, Momma,” he said as he tried to slick back his black mane. “With Big Mac gone… it just hurts us all.”
"我们都是，妈妈,"他一边说，一边试图把自己的黑色鬃毛弄平。"随着巨无霸的消失......我们所有人都受到了伤害。"
“Then she needs ya, don’t she? Ya need to be there and tell her how you feel and let her know ya like her,” his momma said in a vinegary voice. She stepped into view, bony and sour-looking, but she still smiled. “There you go. Look just like your daddy.” Somehow, that didn’t seem to reassure the gaunt pink mare. “Now, you go and do your best, you got it, Doofus?”
""那么她需要你，不是吗？你需要在她身边，告诉她你的感受，让她知道你喜欢她,"他妈妈用尖刻的声音说。她走进了人们的视野，骨瘦如柴，面色阴沉，但她仍然微笑着。"这就对了。就像你爸爸一样。"不知怎么的，这似乎并没有让这只憔悴的粉红色母马安心。"现在，你去尽你最大的努力，你明白了吗，笨蛋?"
“Yes Momma,” he said with a nod of his head. “I promise I won’t screw up again, Momma.”
"是的，妈妈,"他点头说。"我保证不会再搞砸了，妈妈。"
She sighed and patted his chest with a hoof. “Just do your best,” she said as she stretched up to nuzzle his cheek. “How’d I birth such a great big lump?” He
她叹了口气，用蹄子拍了拍他的胸膛。"尽你最大的努力吧,"她一边说，一边伸长脖子用鼻子蹭他的脸颊。"我是怎么生出这么大一个肿块的?"他
chuckled and nuzzled her back fondly before stepping back. “You have a nice night, Doofus.” I had to admit, I’d never heard that particular word said with such fondness before.
在退回去之前，轻轻地笑着，用鼻子爱抚着她的后背。"祝你有个愉快的夜晚，笨蛋。"我不得不承认，我以前从来没有听过这样一个特别的词，说这样的喜爱。
He ducked out and trotted to a bus that took him back to Miramare. It seemed particularly subdued. I supposed they must have buried Big Mac recently. He stepped off the bus and started to trot towards the main building, passing by a half dozen mares who struggled to unload their skywagon. They saw Doof and immediately nudged each other.
他闪开车，小跑到一辆载他回米拉马雷的公共汽车上。它看起来特别柔和。我猜他们最近一定把巨无霸给埋了。他下了公共汽车，开始小跑向主楼，路过六匹母马，它们挣扎着要卸下它们的空中马车。他们看到了杜夫，立刻互相推了推。
“Hey! I betcha you can’t unload all these crates in five minutes,” one said loudly to her friend.
"嘿！我打赌你不可能在五分钟内卸完所有这些箱子,"其中一个大声地对她的朋友说。
“Aw… nopony could do that,” her friend protested, and then added, “Not even Doofus.”
"啊......没有小马能做到这一点,"她的朋友抗议道，然后补充说,"即使是傻瓜也做不到。"
His ears stood straight up. “What you ladies talkin’ ‘bout? I can get them unloaded, lickety split.”
他的耳朵竖起来了。"你们女士们在说什么？我可以很快把它们卸下来。"
I mentally groaned as he immediately climbed into the back, bit the canvas rope at the end of the wooden crate, and pulled it off and onto his broad shoulders. I had to admit, these crates were damned heavy, but Doof was one strong pony. He talked between crates. “See ladies… this is why… mares like you… need stallions like me… around!” The mares just grinned at each other as he sweated profusely, doing their work for them.
我在心里呻吟着，他立刻爬进了木箱的后面，咬了一口木箱末端的帆布绳，把它拉了下来，放在他宽阔的肩膀上。我不得不承认，这些箱子非常沉，但杜夫是一匹强壮的小马。他在板条箱之间说话。"看，女士们......这就是为什么......像你这样的母马......需要像我这样的种马......在身边!"母马们只是相视而笑，而他却汗流浃背，为它们干活。
One nudged the other. “Hey, Doofus. We heard Twist talking about you.”
一个用肘轻推另一个。"嘿，笨蛋。我们听到特威斯特在谈论你。"
He dropped the crate, his head snapping to her immediately. Oh no… ”Really, Brass? What’d she say?” The crate banged solidly on his hoof, but he completely ignored it.
他扔下箱子，他的头立刻猛地向她撞来。哦，不......"真的吗，布拉斯？她说了什么?"板条箱扎实地在他的蹄子上砰砰作响，但他完全没有理会。
Brass, the coppery red mare, gave a smirk as she looked at her friend and then at the big, dumb stallion. “Well she was saying how she was looking for one particular stallion. Big. Strong. Brave.” I could feel his idiotic grin.
布拉斯，这匹铜色的红色母马，看着她的朋友和那匹又大又笨的种马，傻笑了一下。"嗯，她说她正在寻找一匹特别的种马。很大。强壮。勇敢。"我能感觉到他愚蠢的笑容。
“Well I’m big, strong, and brave,” he said, missing sweaty and smelly as well. Damn but he worked up a sweat!
"嗯，我又高大，又强壮，又勇敢,"他说，同样怀念满身汗臭的感觉。该死的，但他工作起来汗流浃背！
“But she was saying what she really needs is a big, tough stallion who will just
"但是她说她真正需要的是一匹强壮的公马
take charge and give it to her between the flanks good and hard.” While her friend might have liked this talk, the others were quickly frowning at her blatant manipulation.
负起责任，在两翼之间狠狠地给她一拳虽然她的朋友可能会喜欢这个谈话，其他人很快皱眉对她的明显操纵。
“Really? But Momma said I should be nice to her.”
"真的吗？但妈妈说我应该对她好一点。"
“Tch… and what’s that got you? I’m telling you, she wants it. You just have to buck up and give it to her.”
"哼......那你得到了什么？我告诉你，她想要。你只要振作起来，把它给她就行了。"
“Doofus,” one of the others began, but the nasty mare’s friend cut her off with a glare.
"白痴,"其他人开始说，但讨厌的母马的朋友打断了她的怒目。
“Well, I got to go, ladies,” he said as he trotted towards the building.
"好了，我得走了，女士们,"他一边说一边小跑着朝大楼走去。
“That was nasty, Brass,” one admonished as he trotted away.
"真恶心，布拉斯,"一个警告说，他一边小跑一边离开。
“What? Not my fault he’s a fucking idiot. Twist will kick his ass good and proper. It’ll be a great laugh.” I didn’t know if what she said registered or not, but he didn’t take his eyes off the Miramare building.
"什么？他是个白痴又不是我的错。特威斯特会好好教训他一顿的。这会是一个很好的笑话。"我不知道她说的话有没有道理，但他的目光始终没有离开米拉马雷大厦。
The Marauders had their own shared quarters. I was astonished to see that Doof had once roomed with Big Macintosh. How had they both fit in there? He walked up to another room. Twist and Jetstream. He knocked with his hoof. A few seconds later, Twist opened the door; I knew that look. Her pink eyes were puffy and bloodshot, her nose wet and red… and her breath reeked of peppermint schnapps. “Doof? What are you doing here?”
掠夺者有他们自己的宿舍。我惊讶地发现，杜夫曾经和大麦金托什住在一起。他们两个怎么会在那里？他走到另一个房间。扭曲和中流。他用蹄子敲门。几秒钟后，特威斯特打开了门;我知道那种表情。她的粉红色的眼睛肿胀充血，她的鼻子湿润和红色...她的呼吸充满了薄荷杜松子酒的味道。"傻瓜？你在这儿干什么?"
“I wanted to see you. I… ah… wanted to help…”
"我想见你。我。.啊...想帮忙..."
She wrinkled her nose but stepped back and let him in. Her quarters were neat and tidy. “Don’t know how you’re going to do that. Jetstream’s cracking, I think. Vanity’s been talking with her all day about Big Macintosh.”
她皱了皱鼻子，但退后一步，让他进来。她的住处整洁干净。"我不知道你要怎么做。我觉得Jetstream正在崩溃。瓦妮特整天都在和她谈论大麦金托什机。"
“We all knew it could happen, Twist. You could die. Or me,” he said sourly as he sat beside her little table where she’d been having some bread and cheese. He took the knife and cut off a huge hunk, munching noisily. “Mmm… tasty!” I wanted to facehoof.
"我们都知道这会发生，特威斯特。你可能会死。或者是我,"他不高兴地说，他坐在她的小桌旁，她正在那里吃面包和奶酪。他拿起刀子，切下一大块肉，大口大口地嚼着。"嗯......真好吃!"我想要面对。
“It wasn’t just you or me, Doof. It was Big Macintosh. He was… he was like a big brother or daddy I never had. Like, as long as he was there, we were going to
"不只是你或者我，杜夫。这就是大麦金托什。他...他就像我的大哥哥或者爸爸。就像，只要他在那里，我们就会
be okay. Even after Stonewing.” She sniffed as she rubbed her eyes. “Goddesses, I’m a mess. I feel like my shop’s burned up again. I dunno if we’re gonna be able to stay together. Not as the Marauders, I mean.”
会没事的。即使是在"石翅"事件之后。"她一边揉眼睛，一边吸着鼻子。"女神们，我真是一团糟。我觉得我的店又被烧了。我不知道我们还能不能在一起。我的意思是，他们不是掠夺者。"
“We could become Doof’s Destroyers,” he suggested, and I could tell he was serious. Twist, however, broke into sharp, tense laughter.
"我们可以成为杜夫的驱逐舰,"他说，我看得出他是认真的。然而，扭曲突然爆发出尖锐而紧张的笑声。
“Oh that’s a good one,” she snorted. “Might as well rename us Twist’s Terminators or Psalm’s Slaughterers.” She sighed, shaking her head and rubbing her temples. Then she turned away and flicked her tail as she walked to the fridge. Oh… I knew that smell. And if I was smelling it… oh jeeze. I could already feel the effect it was having on Doof’s nethers. This was not a good time for a mare and a stallion to be alone together with one of them stupid and the other drunk and both of them hurting! Not at all!
"哦，这个笑话不错,"她哼了一声。"也可以给我们重新命名为特威斯特的终结者或者诗篇的屠夫。"她叹了口气，摇摇头，揉揉太阳穴。然后她转过身去，一边向冰箱走去，一边轻轻地甩着尾巴。我就知道这味道。如果我闻到了...哦，天哪。我已经能感觉到它对杜夫阴部的影响。现在不是一匹母马和一匹种马单独在一起的时候，一个愚蠢，一个醉酒，两个都受伤！一点也不！
“Well… I could take care of you,” he said dumbly as he raised a hoof to brush the candy canes on her flank.
"好吧......我可以照顾你,"他一边默默地说着，一边抬起蹄子在她的侧腹上刷着拐杖糖。
“Doof, get off!” she said crossly as she scowled back at him, getting out the bottle of peppermint flavored liquor and took a pull off it. Then she pointed a hoof at him. “How many damn times do I have to tell you ‘I am not interested’?”
"蠢货，滚开!"她怒气冲冲地回头看着他，拿出一瓶薄荷味的酒，喝了一口。然后她用蹄子指着他。"我到底要告诉你多少次'我不感兴趣'?"
“But…”
"但是......"
“Not. Interested. I don’t care what you smell. That’s hormones. And even with them, I still don’t want anything to do with you. Not unless that’s a huge Doof costume and inside you’re a crème filly with a red mane who talks in drawl and wants me to be her friend again.”
"没有。有兴趣。我不在乎你闻到什么。那是荷尔蒙。即使和他们在一起，我还是不想和你有任何关系。除非那是一套很大的傻瓜服装，而你的内心是一头有着红色鬃毛的古怪小母马，慢吞吞地说话，希望我能再次成为她的朋友。"
I had to admit, I echoed Doof mentally. “Huh?”
我不得不承认，我在心里回应道。"啊?"
She looked at him with inebriated scorn. “I’m gay. Fillyfooler. Marelicker. Take whatever damn label you like. And the only mare I’ve ever been interested in stopped being interested in me when I got my cutie mark and she didn’t. You ain’t her. So just get out.” She turned her back on the poor, confused, dumb stallion whose brain told him one thing while his cock told him something else. And maybe, maybe it would have ended there. He’d take a cold shower, she’d sober up and cool off. And that would be that.
她用醉醺醺的轻蔑目光看着他。"我是同性恋。女名女子名。Marelicker.随便你喜欢什么标签。我唯一感兴趣的母马不再对我感兴趣时，我得到了我的可爱的标记，而她没有。你不是她。所以赶紧出去吧。"她背对着这匹可怜的、迷惑的、哑巴的种马，它的大脑告诉了它一件事，而它的老二却告诉了它另一件事。也许，也许一切就此结束。他会洗个冷水澡，她会清醒过来，冷静下来。就是这样。
Then he grinned slowly. “Oh… I get it.” No Doof! Don’t do this. She was a
然后他慢慢地咧嘴一笑。"哦...我明白了。"没有傻瓜！别这样。她是一个
lying cunt. She was messing with you. Stop!
骗人的婊子。她在耍你。住手！
But he didn’t.
但他没有。
Perhaps Twist might have kicked his ass. She certainly seemed capable. Like she’d usually be capable. But she was drunk and tired. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t fun. It didn’t feel nice. And eventually, she simply stopped crying and fighting and everything but enduring. And when it finished and she just lay there, Doof stood over her, seeming to be waiting for something. For her to tell him that it was what she’d wanted… that he’d hit her spot… something.
也许特威斯特会把他打得落花流水。她看起来的确很能干。就像她通常能做的那样。但是她喝醉了，而且很累。情况不妙。一点都不好玩。感觉不太好。最终，她不再哭泣，不再挣扎，不再忍受一切。结束后，她就躺在那里，杜夫站在她身边，好像在等什么东西。她告诉他这是她想要的......他击中了她的要害......某种东西。
“What the fuck did you do?” a male said from the doorway. Applesnack was not a happy pony at the best of times. And now? Now the green stallion looked like one immense raw bundle of nerves. Right now, he was looking for any excuse to take a pony apart.
"你他妈的做了什么?"一个男人在门口说。即使在最好的时候，Applesnack也不是一匹快乐的小马。现在呢？现在这匹绿色的种马看起来就像一个巨大而粗糙的神经束。现在，他正在寻找任何借口来拆卸一匹小马。
Right now, Doof was exactly what he needed.
现在，杜夫正是他所需要的。
Somewhere in the beating, everything smeared as the memory shifted. Doof found himself sitting in a concrete cell. He’d saved some newspaper clippings. ‘Macintosh Marauder convicted of sexual assault,’ screamed one headline. ‘I knew he was always dangerous’ started another clipping beside a picture of Brass and her friend. He’d scribbled ‘cunt’ beside both their heads. ‘Marauders disbanded. Hoofington’s legendary squad disgraced.’ The last was a little letter. ‘Please don’t write me any more, Doofus,’ was all it said. There was no signature, but the paper was warped and smeared with tears.
在跳动的某个地方，随着记忆的移动，一切都模糊了。杜夫发现自己坐在一间水泥牢房里。他保存了一些剪报。标题尖叫着:"麦金塔掠夺者被判性侵犯罪名成立。"。"我知道他总是很危险"，另一张剪报在布拉斯和她朋友的照片旁边开始。他在他们两人的头上潦草地写着"阴户"。劫掠者解散了。胡芬顿的传奇班子名誉扫地最后是一封小小的信。"请不要再给我写信了，笨蛋,"信上只说了这么一句话。没有签名，但是纸已经被弄弯了，上面沾满了眼泪。
Then the guards came, and the nurse with them. They looked at him like he was scum. Perhaps he was. Perhaps he wasn’t. They gave him a shot; I felt the Med-X take effect quickly as he was walked down the concrete hall. They stood him over a padded frame and strapped him down. “Whut are yew doin’?” he slurred numbly as they finished scrubbing him with harsh-smelling alcohol.
然后卫兵来了，护士也跟着来了。他们看他的眼神就好像他是个人渣。也许是吧。也许他不是。他们给他打了一针，当他走下水泥大厅时，我感觉到Med-X药剂很快就起作用了。他们把他放在一个有衬垫的框架上，用皮带把他捆起来。"你在干什么?"当他们用刺鼻的酒精擦洗完他时，他麻木地发出声音。
“We’re experimenting on how to make a better, stronger pony,” a mare said softly. The black earth pony looked down at him in contempt. “As you might understand, it’s better to experiment on a worthless piece of scum like you before we give the Steelpony treatment to real soldiers.”
"我们正在试验如何使一匹更好，更强壮的小马,"一匹母马轻声说。那匹土地上的黑马轻蔑地低头看着他。"正如你可能理解的那样，在我们把Steelpony给真正的士兵之前，最好先拿你这样一个一文不值的人渣做实验。"
“I ain’t scum,” he muttered thickly as unicorn mares with scalpels floating over them approached. He jerked his legs against the strong restraints. “Let me go…
"我不是人渣,"他低声咕哝着，就像那些带着漂浮着手术刀的独角兽母马走近。他在牢固的束缚物面前猛地抬起双腿。"放开我.....。
you can’t do this, you cunts!”
你们不能这么做，你们这些混蛋!"
“I assure you… we can,” she replied softly. The Med-X might be a painkiller, but it did nothing for the sensation of his hide being cut open.
"我向你保证......我们可以,"她轻声回答。Med-x可能是一种止痛药，但它对他的皮肤被切开的感觉没有任何作用。
“You cunts!” he shouted as he jerked again.
"你们这些混蛋!"他一边喊，一边又抽搐起来。
“We are…”
"我们......"
“Cunts!”
"婊子!"
“And you deserve it.”
"这是你应得的。"
“Cuuuuuunnnnnttttts!”
"快点!"
The memory smeared once more. The pain, that rolling pain though every fiber of his being, was barely held off as the needle was stabbed into this throat. The painkiller went straight to his brain, and he shuddered in relief. The floating needle pulled out, and a ghoul rasped, “Ah, a thing of wonder is a joy forever.”
记忆再次模糊。当针刺进他的喉咙时，他身上每一根纤维都在滚动，疼痛几乎难以抑制。止痛药直接进入了他的大脑，他如释重负地颤抖起来。漂浮的针被拔了出来，一个食尸鬼粗声粗气地说:"啊，奇迹般的东西永远是快乐的。"
“So, I just got to get to this stable and get the Overcunt to give you this EC-1101 and you’ll tell me how ta make that drug so I don’t hurt no more?” Deus asked thickly as he rose on his hydraulically augmented limbs and looked down at the ghoul.
"所以，我只要到马厩去，让欧弗康特给你这个EC-1101，你就会告诉我怎么制造这种药，这样我就不会再受伤了?"天王一边站起身来，一边低头看着食尸鬼，一边问道。
Sanguine. I don’t know what I’d expected. I’d seen a few ghouls in the Wasteland, but never one like this. Wisps of pink gas danced around his lips and leaked out of cracks in his charred hide. His crackled mouth split in a grin. “That’s it. You go in there and get me that program, and all your ouchies will be gone for good.”
血红色。我不知道我期待的是什么。我在荒原见过一些食尸鬼，但从来没见过这样的。一缕缕粉红色的气体围绕着他的嘴唇飞舞，从他烧焦的皮肤裂缝中泄露出来。他裂开的嘴裂成一个笑容。"就是这样。你进去给我弄到那个程序，你所有的东西就永远消失了。"
“And why do you want it?”
"你为什么想要它?"
“Why? My. Do you think you can understand?” he asked, chuckling brightly. His business suit looked like it’d just come off the rack of a store. I had to admit, the sight of that abomination in that freshly pressed suit was more unnerving than if he’d been dressed like a raider. He trotted to a window that looked out at the blasted landscape. “Isn’t it beautiful? Poisoned. Sick. Broken. This is the purest expression of Equestria! The culmination of all our sins! But it is also an opportunity.”
"为什么？我的。你以为你能明白吗?"他问道，笑得很开心。他的西装看起来就像刚从商店的货架上下来一样。我不得不承认，看到那个穿着刚熨平的西装的讨厌鬼，比他穿得像个袭击者更让人不安。他小跑着来到一扇窗前，窗外是被炸毁的风景。"是不是很漂亮？中毒了。病态。破碎的。这是Equestria最纯粹的表达方式！我们所有罪恶的顶点！但这也是一个机会。"
Deus had an E.F.S., and I watched the target line up perfectly with the back of Sanguine’s head. “You talk too much,” he muttered.
天王有一个e.f.s，我看着目标和桑吉尼的后脑勺完美地排成一线。"你话太多了,"他喃喃自语。
“Apologies. It’s an occupational hazard for visionaries like myself,” Sanguine said with a disarming little chuckle. “Let’s simply say that, with that program, I will be able to create and explore new evolutionary paths otherwise unrealized. We tasted a sip of it during the heyday of Chimera. Just a sip of the possibilities. Twilight Sparkle succeeded, despite all odds, and the alicorns are just one possible path. I want to use the Wasteland as my canvas and explore the myriad possibilities of pony evolution!
"抱歉。这是像我这样有远见的人的职业危害。"简单地说，有了这个程序，我将能够创造和探索新的进化道路，否则就无法实现。在奇美拉的全盛时期，我们尝了一小口。只是一小口的可能性。尽管困难重重，紫悦还是成功了，而alicorns只是一条可能的道路。我想用《荒原》作为我的画布，探索小马进化的无数可能性！
“It will also,” he added, turning back to Deus and trotting to him with a freaky little dance, “Discharge a certain obligation I hold to a very important pony. A pony whose dreams far exceed mine. Now that it’s been found and the Overmare is opening the door, all you have to do is get it.”
"它也会,"他转过身对天王说，跳着奇怪的小舞向他小跑过去,"履行我对一匹非常重要的小马的某种义务。一匹梦想远远超过我的小马。既然已经找到了，而且Overmare正在打开门，你所要做的就是得到它。"
From the next room came a soft chime. “Ugh… now, if you’ll excuse me, go ahead and bully some of those raiders into helping you, and let me get to work.” And with that, he trotted to the door. Perhaps he underestimated the huge gray pony, or perhaps the unicorn was simply too mad to care. Deus, however, lingered at the door, his augmented ears picking up every word.
从隔壁房间传来一阵轻柔的钟声。"呃......现在，如果你不介意的话，就去吓唬吓唬那些袭击者，让他们帮你，让我去工作。"说完，他向门口跑去。也许他低估了巨大的灰色小马，也许独角兽只是太疯狂而不在乎。然而，天王在门口徘徊，他那增强了的耳朵听到了每一个字。
“Hello, good sir! And how are you on this most splendid of days, Director?”
"您好，先生！你在这最辉煌的日子里过得怎么样，主任?"
The mechanical voice reminded me of Watcher. “Progress?”
那机械的声音使我想起了守望者。"进步?"
“I’ve just sent an errand stallion to get the program.”
"我刚刚派了一匹种马去拿程序。"
“And the biological sample?”
"那么生物样本呢?"
“Safe and sound. We put it in her hooves, and we get everything we want. I get Project Chimera. You get everything else. She gets to play at being queen of the Wasteland. Everything according to plan.”
"安然无恙。我们把它放在她的蹄子里，我们就能得到我们想要的一切。我得到了奇美拉计划。你得到了其他的一切。她可以扮演荒原女王的角色。一切都按计划进行。"
“No.”
"没有。"
“No?” Now Sanguine sounded perplexed. “No? Nix? Null and void?”
"不是吗?"现在，桑吉纳听起来很困惑。""不是吗？尼克斯？无效?"
“We must stop him.”
"我们必须阻止他。"
“Him?” Then a pause. “Him?! Sir, with all due respect, he was stopped two centuries ago. I saw it. He died with the Princesses, Project Horizons died with him, and we are all the better for it.”
"他?"然后是停顿。"他?！长官，恕我直言，他在两个世纪前就被阻止了。我看到了。他和公主们一起去世了，视野计划也随他一起去世了，我们都因此而变得更好。"
“He lives. I know it. Find him, Sanguine. He’s here. I can feel it. I can feel him!”
"他还活着。我知道。找到他，桑吉尼。他来了。我能感觉到。我能感觉到他!"
“Of course. Of course,” Sanguine rasped in mollifying tones. “I’ll get right on top of that, Director.”
"当然。当然,"桑吉尼用缓和的语调尖声说道。"我马上去办，主任。"
Deus turned from the door, muttering softly, “Project Horizons, huh? Interesting…”
天王从门口转过身，轻声咕哝着:"地平线计划，嗯？有意思......"
oooOOOooo
噢噢噢
I awoke in the rain. Nopony talked. Nopony smiled. They sat apart from me, together. Occasionally, one would glance in my direction, but I couldn’t imagine what they expected. Was I to say something? Do something? Be something? I knew what they wanted; they wanted me to lead. To stand up, grin, point them in a direction and move out. Because we were friends. Because they trusted me, even after all I’d done. All I’d done to them.
我在雨中醒来。Nopony说话了。小马笑了。他们坐得离我很远，坐在一起。偶尔会有人朝我的方向瞥一眼，但我无法想象他们期待什么。我有什么要说的吗？做点什么？做点什么？我知道他们想要什么，他们想让我领导。站起来，咧嘴一笑，指给他们一个方向，然后离开。因为我们是朋友。因为他们信任我，即使我做了那么多。我对他们做的一切。
I didn’t deserve them. I didn’t deserve to draw another breath.
我配不上他们。我不配再吸一口气。
I slowly rose to my hooves. “Blackjack?” Glory said in worry as she rushed to my side.
我慢慢地站起来。"黑杰克?"晨辉急忙跑到我身边，担心地说。
Slowly, I started walking. “Let’s go,” I rasped softly as I walked towards the tower.
慢慢地，我开始走路。"我们走吧,"当我走向塔楼的时候，我轻声地说。
“Blackjack… it…” But then she met my eyes and realized it didn’t matter if it had been an accident or not. “He’s… okay. He’s going to pull through.”
"黑杰克......它......"但是后来她看着我的眼睛，意识到这是不是意外并不重要。"他......还不错。他会渡过难关的。"
I felt nothing at all. No relief. No joy. Nothing. I smiled. “That’s good. Really. I’m glad.”
我什么也感觉不到。没有解脱。没有快乐。没什么。我笑了。"那很好。真的。我很高兴。"
“Blackjack?” she asked as she touched my cheek. I pulled away, looked away. I may as well have slapped her.
"黑杰克?"她抚摸着我的脸颊问道。我把车开走，转过头去。我还不如扇她一巴掌呢。
“Listen. He’s hurt really badly,” I said. “You should take him to Megamart. Make sure he pulls through. Take Scotch Tape, too… it’ll be safer there.” I
"听着。他伤得很重,"我说。"你应该带他去Megamart。确保他能度过难关。还有透明胶带，那里会更安全。"一
looked at Lacunae. “You can go with her and teleport both of them back when he’s safe and sound.” That would take at least several hours. Maybe more. “Then you meet up with the rest of us.”
看着空隙。"当他安然无恙的时候，你可以和她一起把他们两个传送回去。"这至少需要几个小时。也许更多。"然后你和我们其他人会合。"
“Blackjack. Are you sure?” Glory asked. “You’re really scaring me, Blackjack. Please…”
"黑杰克。你确定吗?"晨辉问道。"你真的吓到我了，黑杰克。求你了......"
“I’m sure,” I replied quietly, sincerely. “Get him and his family to safety.” Keep me from adding one more to my count. Goddesses, how much blood was on my hooves?
"我确定,"我平静地、真诚地回答。"把他和他的家人带到安全的地方。"不要让我再多加一个。女神们，我的蹄子上沾了多少血？
She rushed to me and hugged me as tightly as she could, shaking. I tried to return the gesture. To get some feeling… some compassion… in the embrace. “I love you. I’ll see you soon.”
她冲向我，紧紧地抱住我，颤抖着。我试图还以颜色。在拥抱中获得一些感觉...一些同情。"我爱你。我们很快会再见面的。"
My words caught in my throat. I swallowed hard and murmured, “I know. I love you too.” And I did. I did. Glory turned away, going to the wounded scavenger’s family. She gave me one last look, worry etched in her face. I smiled as hard as I could. She returned it with a slight lifting of the corners of her mouth. Then, as they left, I murmured softly, “Goodbye.”
我的话哽在喉咙里。我艰难地咽了口唾沫，低声说:"我知道。我也爱你。"我做到了。是的。晨辉转身走开，去找受伤的拾荒者的家人。她最后看了我一眼，脸上充满了忧虑。我尽可能地笑了。她微微扬起嘴角，又把它放了回去。然后，当他们离开的时候，我轻声地说,"再见。"
* * *
* * *
Rampage, P-21, and I didn’t say a word as we approached the massive armored base of the tower. I couldn’t imagine what it was for; broadcasting, I supposed. The door to MASEBS #14 looked like it could have had a balefire bomb detonate while taped to it and only just have its paint a bit scuffed. The door was locked and sealed, of course, but, after taking care of the lock on a panel beside the door with a pair of bobby pins and spending several minutes glaring at the terminal ensconced within, P-21 found the password. With a groan and a slight hiss and hum, the yard-thick slab began sliding down into the ground. Goddesses, how’d I luck into having a smart pony like him? We slipped through the door, walked down a short corridor that I suspected was just to get us past the armor plating, and found ourselves in a spartan, metal-walled antechamber. The lights were still almost all on and the place was reasonably clean. “See what you can find,” I said to P-21. The blue stallion looked at me skeptically, then nodded and started off through one of the doors with his usual diligence.
狂暴，P-21，当我们接近塔楼巨大的装甲基地时，我一句话也没说。我无法想象它是用来干什么的，我猜想它是用来广播的。梅塞布斯14号的门看起来就像是被绑在上面引爆了一个气球式炸弹，只是油漆有点磨损。当然，这扇门是锁上的，而且是密封的，但是，在用一对发夹把门边的嵌板上的锁弄好，花了几分钟时间盯着里面的航站楼之后，P-21找到了密码。随着一声呻吟，一声轻微的嘶嘶声和嗡嗡声，院子般厚的厚板开始滑向地面。女神啊，我怎么会有幸拥有他这样一匹聪明的小马呢？我们悄悄地穿过门，走过一条短短的走廊，我怀疑这条走廊只是为了让我们通过装甲板，然后我们来到了一个简朴的、有金属墙的接待室。几乎所有的灯都还亮着，这个地方还算干净。"看看你能找到什么,"我对P-21说。那匹蓝色的种马怀疑地看着我，然后点点头，像往常一样勤奋地从一扇门走了出去。
“Watch out for him,” I said to Rampage as I opened another door, found some stairs, and slowly began climbing them, looking for… I didn’t really know. A
"小心他,"我打开另一扇门，找到一些楼梯，慢慢地开始爬楼梯，寻找......我真的不知道。答:
command center. Maneframe. Something I could plug the Delta PipBuck into, I supposed. I made my way up; it seemed a natural direction. I passed by rooms filled with machinery still running even after two centuries. I wondered if it drew power from the city or some other source.
指挥中心。Maneframe.我想我可以把DeltaPipBuck插进去。我爬了上去，这似乎是一个自然的方向。我经过一个个房间，里面装满了两个世纪过去了仍在运转的机器。我想知道它是从城市还是其他地方获得电力。
Then I heard a familiar stallion’s voice. “...know ghouls might not be the most comfortable ponies to be around, but you can say the same thing about half the ponies in the Wasteland. So if you see a ghoul sitting there all by their lonesome, pop over and just say hello. Give them a smile. It might be the only thing that keeps them from losing what little equinity they have left.” I frowned; right now DJ Pon3 was the last pony I wanted to listen to.
然后我听到一个熟悉的种马的声音。"...知道食尸鬼可能不是最舒服的小马，但你可以说同样的事情在荒原的一半的小马。所以，如果你看到一个独自坐在那里的食尸鬼，就过来打个招呼。给他们一个微笑。这可能是唯一能让他们不至于失去仅存的一丝平等的东西。"我皱起了眉头;现在DJPon3是我最不想听的小马。
I approached the voice and stepped through a door into a room marked ‘MASEBS Relay Station: authorized unicorns only’. Within were a dozen dusty monitors and speakers. Two unicorn skeletons lay curled up on a mattress surrounded by empty tin cans and Sparkle-Cola bottles. Most of the monitors showed pictures of the Wasteland. To my shame, I saw Glory making her way towards Megamart with the scavenger’s family. I reached out and touched her image on the display.
我走近那个声音，穿过一扇门走进一个房间，上面写着'MASEBS中继站:只接收经授权的独角兽'。里面有十几个布满灰尘的显示器和扬声器。两具独角兽的骨架蜷缩在一张被空锡罐和闪亮可乐瓶包围的床垫上。大多数监视器显示的是荒地的照片。令我感到羞耻的是，我看到晨辉和这个拾荒者的家人一起朝超级市场走去。我伸手触摸了一下显示屏上她的照片。
There was one picture that was off, though. A small gray unicorn mare with a glowing horn was talking into a microphone, which was odd enough. What really confused me was how her mouth movements matched the stallion’s voice coming out of the speakers set in the roof. I put my forehooves on the control panel to lean in and watch her lips moving.
不过，有一张照片是关闭的。一只有着发光的角的灰色小独角兽正在对着麦克风说话，这已经够奇怪的了。真正让我感到困惑的是，她的嘴巴动作和屋顶上扬声器里传出的种马的声音是如何匹配的。我把前蹄放在控制面板上，弯下腰，看着她的嘴唇动起来。
“DJ Pon3 is a mare?” I asked, staring in shock.
"DJPon3是匹母马?"我惊讶地盯着他问。
Suddenly, she stopped talking and looked around. Her eyes looked towards a monitor. “Oh boy! Looks like we’ve got some technical difficulties, my little ponies. I’d send my assistant for a certain repair pony, but then it’d never get fixed! Enjoy some Sapphire Shores in the meantime!”
突然，她停止了说话，环顾四周。她的眼睛看着显示器。"哦，天哪！看起来我们遇到了一些技术问题，我的小马驹们。我本想让我的助手去修理一匹小马，但是那样的话它就再也修不好了！与此同时，享受一下蓝宝石海岸吧!"
She trotted towards the camera and began to work some controls. Then she blinked and smiled up at me. “Heck of a time to break into the radio biz,” she said in that stallion’s voice. She blinked and made a face, her horn glowing for a moment. Then she said in a softer, feminine voice, “Sorry about that.”
她小跑着走向摄像机，开始操作一些控制器。然后她眨了眨眼睛，冲我笑了笑。"真是打入广播界的好时机,"她用种马的声音说。她眨了眨眼，做了个鬼脸，她的号角闪烁了一会儿。然后她用一种温柔的、女性化的声音说:"对不起。"
“DJ Pon3 is a mare?” I repeated dumbly.
"DJPon3是匹母马?"我默默地重复着。
“Yup. Fortunately, you hit the ‘transmit studio’ button instead of the ‘transmit all’ button. Otherwise, I’d have some explaining to do,” she said with a sheepish grin. “My name is Homage.” Then her eyes widened as she stared at me. “You’re her? Aren’t you? MASEBS #14! Yes, you are her! You’re Security!”
"是的。幸运的是，你按了'transmitstudio'按钮，而不是'transmitall'按钮。否则，我就得好好解释一下了。"她羞怯地笑着说。"我的名字是'敬意'。"然后她瞪大了眼睛盯着我。"你就是她？不是吗？14！是的，你就是她！你是保安!"
I nodded again as I sat in front of the screens, looking up at her with a small frown. “Yeah. I guess…”
我坐在屏幕前，又点了点头，微微皱着眉头抬头看着她。"是的。我想......"
“I’ve got to say, I never actually thought I’d get a chance to meet you. I mean, Hoofington’s a long long way from Manehattan. You’re clear past Ponyville and Canterlot,” she said as she brushed her blue bangs back behind her ear. “I’d like to tell you, you’re doing an incredible job out there. The Heroine of the Hoof.”
"我不得不说，我从来没有想过我会有机会见到你。胡芬顿离Manehattan很远。你已经经过了Ponyville和坎特罗特,"她一边说，一边把蓝色的刘海拨到耳后。"我想告诉你，你在那里做了一件不可思议的工作。《蹄女英雄》
“Stop…” I muttered as I felt myself start to shake.
"停......"我喃喃自语，感觉自己开始颤抖。
“What’s that?”
"那是什么?"
“Please… stop all that Hero Security crap. I’m not a hero.”
"拜托...别再说什么英雄保安了。我不是英雄。"
She smiled. “I didn’t know you were modest too. I’ve heard from dozens of ponies how you’re cleaning up the Hoof. Sure sounds like a hero to me.”
她笑了。"我不知道你也很谦虚。我从几十匹小马那里听说了你是怎么清理霍夫的。对我来说，这听起来的确像个英雄。"
“I’m not a fucking hero!” I yelled as I covered my head with my hooves, my whole body shaking. Her eyes went wide. “Heroes save ponies. That’s what Security is supposed to do. Save ponies.” I sobbed as I looked up her. “Heroes don’t murder whole stables of hundreds of ponies! Heroes don’t walk around praying somepony blows their brains out! I’m not a hero, Homage! I’m one of the bad ponies!”
"我他妈的不是英雄!"我边喊边用蹄子把头盖住，全身颤抖。她睁大了眼睛。"英雄拯救小马。这就是安全部门应该做的。拯救小马。"我一边抽泣一边抬头看着她。"英雄不会杀死成百上千的小马！英雄不会到处祈祷小马会打爆自己的脑袋！我不是英雄，敬意！我是一匹坏马!"
Homage just stared at me in shock and slowly gave me a sad smile. “Tell me about it?”
敬意震惊地盯着我，慢慢地给了我一个悲伤的微笑。"跟我说说吧?"
I had no idea what I was supposed to do. What I was supposed to say. I just found myself talking, starting with how I’d heard about the attacks around my old stable and how I was returning home anyway. I then went on about how I’d discovered my stable had been infected by the raider contagion and how we’d fought like hell to free it from the Overmare. I explained how I’d told them to toss the bodies outside, but had never checked up on them actually doing it. How I’d discovered the entire food supply had been contaminated, how the entire stable was infected.
我不知道我该做什么。我应该说什么。我只是发现自己在说话，从我如何听说我的旧马厩周围的袭击和我如何回家开始。然后我继续说我是如何发现我的马厩被袭击者的传染病感染了，以及我们是如何拼命地把它从Overmare中解救出来的。我解释了我是如何告诉他们把尸体扔到外面去的，但是从来没有检查过他们是否真的这么做了。我是如何发现整个食物供应被污染的，整个马厩是如何被感染的。
“And then… then… I activated a poison gas talisman in the ventilation system,” I sobbed as I shook, feeling that emptiness ripped apart by pain as I hung my head back. “In a few minutes, I killed four hundred ponies, Homage. Four hundred! I killed everypony I knew in the stable. I… I killed foals. I killed stallions who’d finally gotten their freedom. I killed them all. I know there were probably some uninfected in there too. I killed them. I killed them before they became monsters.”
"然后......然后......我在通风系统中激活了一个毒气护身符,"我颤抖着抽泣着，当我低下头时，感觉到那种被痛苦撕裂的空虚。"几分钟之内，我就杀了四百匹小马，致敬。四百！我杀了马厩里所有我认识的小马。我。.我杀了小马驹。我杀了那些最终获得自由的种马。我把他们都杀了。我知道里面可能也有没被感染的。我杀了他们。我在他们变成怪物之前杀了他们。"
Hanging my head, I bawled before her. “I wish I’d died in there with them. That would at least have been fair. I’m a murderer, Homage. I can still hear their screams. I can hear them calling me a murderer. I can smell it and feel it and all I want is for it to end. For me to get the punishment I deserve.” I drew a slow, trembling breath and dared to look up.
我低着头，在她面前大喊大叫。"我希望我和他们一起死在那里。这至少是公平的。我是个杀人犯，敬意。我现在还能听到他们的尖叫声。我能听到他们叫我杀人犯。我能闻到它，感觉到它，我只想让它结束。让我得到应得的惩罚。"我缓缓地、颤抖地吸了一口气，敢于抬起头来。
She had her hooves folded under her chin, tears streaking her cheeks. “I forgot just how rough it was around Hoofington…” she said quietly. “But I know this, Blackjack. You are a hero. To so many.”
她把蹄子叠在下巴下面，泪水在脸颊上留下了痕迹。"我都忘了胡芬顿附近的情况有多糟了......"她平静地说。"但我知道，黑杰克。你是个英雄。对很多人来说。"
She tapped her controls and one of the monitors changed to a caravan crawling past Pony Joe’s. Another brought up the Fluttershy Medical Center, where ponies were limping into the emergency entrance for care. Then up came Stockyard, the brahmin eating their meals unmolested by the mutated dragonlings. Brimstone’s Fall showed me a lone railcar loaded with boxes of gems and other goods being pulled along the tracks towards the city; nopony had a whip. Another monitor flashed to life, and I saw Blueblood Manor with a wagon being pulled by Harpica outside the front entrance while the Crusaders brought out boxes of salvage from the ruined estate. Flank was back open for business, now more secure. And another of Riverside, where a caravan of merchants was trading with the fishers and the sand dogs at the same time. A blurry, heavily-zoomed-in Seahorse cruising along the coast with a barely distinct sea green mare in the bow. The last was of Chapel, where they’d cleared and leveled a plot of ground for some new buildings. I saw the distant black form of Priest talking to some pilgrims… and then watched as they started away… not towards the bridge, but back out into the Wasteland. There was Sekashi, telling her not always so funny stories to the ghoulish foals.
她轻轻地敲了敲控制器，其中一个显示器变成了一辆正爬过小马乔的大篷车。另一个提到了FluttershyMedicalCenter，那里的小马一瘸一拐地走进急诊室接受治疗。然后来到了牲畜围场，婆罗门在这里吃饭，没有受到基因突变的龙的骚扰。宾斯通的坠落》给我展示了一辆孤零零的有轨车，车上装满了成箱的宝石和其他物品，沿着轨道驶向城市;小马驹手里拿着鞭子。另一个显示器亮了起来，我看到BluebloodManor前门外哈皮卡拉着一辆马车，十字军从废弃的庄园里搬出了一箱箱的废物。弗兰克已经恢复营业，现在更加安全了。还有一个在河边，一队商人同时和渔民和沙狗做生意。一个模糊的，重度放大的海马沿着海岸巡航与一个勉强清晰的海绿色的母马在船头。最后一次是在小教堂，他们在那里清理并平整了一块土地，用于建造一些新建筑物。我看到远处黑色的牧师正在和一些朝圣者交谈......然后看着他们开始离开......不是朝向桥，而是回到荒原。有一个叫Sekashi的人，他给那些可怕的小马驹们讲着并不总是那么有趣的故事。
We do not always see the good we do.
我们并不总是看到我们所做的好事。
“You’ve touched so many, Blackjack, in the things you’ve done. I know you
"黑杰克，你做过的事情触动了那么多人。我认识你
don’t feel like it, but every time you keep fighting the good fight, you’re making Hoofington a little better. And if Hoofington can get better, I really think there’s hope for the Wasteland as a whole,” Homage said as she scrubbed her eyes.
虽然我不喜欢这样，但是每次你坚持为正义而战，胡芬顿就会变得更好一些。如果胡芬顿能好起来，我真的认为整个荒原还是有希望的。"。
I didn’t know what to say. “I’m glad I helped. I am. But… how am I supposed to go on? Am I supposed to get over it? Am I supposed to forget about it? I can hear them. I feel like I’m still choking on the chlorine, Homage. How am I supposed to live?” I begged her softly.
我不知道该说什么。"我很高兴我帮了忙。是的。但是...我该怎么继续下去？我应该忘记这件事吗？我应该忘记这件事吗？我能听到他们。我感觉自己还在被氯气呛着，敬意。我该怎么活下去?"我温柔地恳求她。
“I don’t know,” she replied. “That’s something everypony has to decide for herself. It’s as vital to us as our virtue, our friendships, and our loved ones. You need to find that special something inside you. You need to know it’s there so that you can move forward,” Homage said gently. “If you find it, come and talk to me. I’ll keep the hero talk toned down till you change your mind. But if you don’t mind, I’d like to tell folks about Stable 99. I think it’s important that they know just what their safety and security cost you.”
"我不知道,"她回答。"这是每个小马必须自己决定的事情。它对我们的重要性不亚于我们的美德，我们的友谊和我们所爱的人。你需要在你的内心找到那种特别的东西。你需要知道它就在那里，这样你才能继续前进。"。"如果你找到了，过来和我谈谈。在你改变主意之前，我会让这位英雄的谈话保持低调。但是如果你不介意的话，我想告诉大家Stable99。我认为，让他们知道自己的安全和保障让你付出了什么代价，这很重要。"
“Please. There’s nothing good to remember about 99,” I lied. I had plenty of good memories. Waking up and working with Mom. Card games with Rivets. Hitting on Midnight. Even if there was plenty of shit mixed in, there were gems, too. “But if you want… please, don’t call me a hero. It wasn’t heroic. It was murder...”
"求你了。99没什么好记的,"我撒谎说。我有很多美好的回忆。醒来和妈妈一起工作。铆钉纸牌游戏。午夜狂欢。即使里面掺杂了大量的垃圾，也有宝石。"但是如果你想......请不要叫我英雄。这不是英雄主义。这是谋杀......"
Homage just gazed at me like she’d heard this before. “I’ll just tell the truth folks need to hear and nothing more,” she said solemnly.
就像她以前听说过的那样，敬意凝视着我。"我只会说出人们需要听到的真相，仅此而已,"她严肃地说。
“Thanks.” I started to turn away, then paused. “You like music, don’t you?” Her eyes brightened at once; I supposed it was a stupid question. I pulled out the Delta PipBuck. “I’ve got some music here. I don’t know if it’s your thing… it’s no Sweetie Belle. Just some that I’ve picked up here and there. Some music by a pony named Octavia…”
"谢谢。"我开始转身，然后停顿了一下。"你喜欢音乐，是吗?"她的眼睛顿时明亮起来，我想这是一个愚蠢的问题。我拿出了DeltaPipBuck。"我这里有一些音乐。我不知道这是不是你的风格...不是甜心贝儿。只是一些我在这里和那里学到的。一匹叫奥克塔维亚的小马演奏的音乐......"
“What?” Homage burst in glee. I started from her sudden enthusiasm. “You have something by Octavia? I thought the M.o.M. and M.o.I. banned her for that charity concert! All her recordings were destroyed!”
"什么?"敬意在欢乐中迸发。我从她突如其来的热情中开始。"你有奥克塔维亚的东西吗？我以为m.o.m和m.o.i禁止她参加那个慈善演唱会！她所有的唱片都被销毁了!"
“Well, I found some… um… with her.” And Homage’s smile turned more sympathetic. “She ended up in Flank, but she still had a ton of records with her. I have them in Chapel and downloaded others from her terminal.”
"嗯，我找到了一些......嗯......和她在一起。"于是，敬意的微笑变得更有同情心了。"她最后去了弗兰克，但是她仍然带着一大堆唱片。我把它们放在了教堂，并从她的终端下载了其他的。"
“Thank you, Blackjack. I know you don’t like being told this, but you’re my hero for sending this to me,” she said, and I went red once again.
"谢谢你，黑杰克。我知道你不喜欢别人告诉你这件事，但你把这封信寄给我，你是我的英雄,"她说，我又一次脸红了。
“Well… yeah. And some music from some weird ponies in Flank, in a club called Mixers. And… um… some that I played,” I added lamely as the PipBuck broadcaster made a connection with the computers. “It’s horrible, though. Just horrible.”
"嗯......是的。还有一些来自弗兰克的一些奇怪的小马的音乐，在一个叫做混音者的俱乐部里。还有......嗯......我播放的一些音乐,"当PipBuck的广播员与电脑连接时，我一瘸一拐地补充道。"不过，这太可怕了。太可怕了。"
“You play?” She grinned at me.
"你玩吗?"她冲我咧嘴笑了笑。
“Horrible!”
"太可怕了!"
“What instrument?”
"什么乐器?"
“...A contrabass. Or so I was told...” I muttered as I tapped my forehooves together awkwardly.
"一条低音提琴。或者别人是这么告诉我的......"我低声咕哝着，笨拙地敲着前蹄。
“Just like Octavia?” Could she grin any wider?
"就像奥克塔维亚?"她还能笑得再大一点吗？
“Did I mention I was horrible at it?” I said as I flushed… and… funny. I felt… better. Oddly more alive. Hurt and hollow, but… better. “Anyway… I’ll just send it all to you. I know you like music. Maybe some of your listeners will too.”
"我有没有说过我在这方面很糟糕?"我一边冲水一边说。我感觉...好多了。奇怪的是更有活力。痛苦和空虚，但是...更好。"不管怎样......我会把它们都寄给你的。我知道你喜欢音乐。也许你的一些听众也会这么想。"
She shook her head. “You’re incredible. Someday, when all this is over, the three of us need to get together and share stories. I think it’ll be the finest interview in the history of DJ Pon3.” Me, her, and...Glory? It didn’t really matter at the moment.
她摇了摇头。"你真是不可思议。总有一天，当这一切都结束了，我们三个需要聚在一起，分享故事。我认为这将是DJPon3历史上最好的一次采访。"我她还有...晨辉？这在当时并不重要。
“We’ll see,” I said as I watched the PipBuck upload the music files. I could only hope that Homage would know how to retrieve them.
"我们走着瞧,"我一边看着PipBuck上传音乐文件一边说。我只希望"敬意"能知道如何找回它们。
“Thanks, Blackjack,” she said with clear sincerity. “Look, I need to get back on the air. Folks get anxious if I’m away for too long, and there’s stuff happening in the west. I hope you find what you need to find, Blackjack. And I hope you think about what I told you. You might not feel like it now, but you are a hero.” She gave one last smile of comfort, then left to return to her microphone.
"谢谢，黑杰克,"她真诚地说。"听着，我需要重新开始广播。如果我离开的时间太长，人们会感到焦虑，而西方正在发生一些事情。我希望你能找到你要找的东西Blackjack。我希望你能好好想想我跟你说的话。你现在可能感觉不到，但你是个英雄。"她最后安慰地微笑了一下，然后离开，回到麦克风前。
“What kind of hero wants to kill herself?” I muttered softly to myself as I sat back.
"什么样的英雄会想自杀?"我靠在椅背上，轻声自言自语。
“One that really fits Hoofington,” the Dealer murmured. I looked at him shuffling his cards.
"真的很适合胡芬顿,"商人低声说。我看着他洗牌。
“I thought you were gone for good. You’ve missed some real opportunities to fuck with my head,” I said sharply as I rose to my hooves.
"我以为你已经永远离开了。你已经错过了一些真正的机会来操我的脑袋,"我猛地站起来说。
He looked at me with a thin smile. “Well, there’s not much point to kicking a mare who’s beating herself down already. Where’s the fun in that?” he asked, then looked at his cards. “Don’t kill yourself… you know it’s wrong.”
他带着淡淡的微笑看着我。"好吧，踢一匹已经把自己打倒的母马没有什么意义。这有什么乐趣呢?"他问道，然后看了看他的牌。"不要自杀......你知道这是不对的。"
“Of course I do,” I said softly as I looked down at the delta’s cool blue screen. The good feelings were going fast. I was already starting to smell chlorine. “I know I’m loved. I know I helped people. I just feel like it doesn’t matter. The ponies I saved today are just going to die tomorrow.”
"当然,"我低头看着三角洲清凉的蓝色屏幕，轻声说道。好心情很快就过去了。我已经开始闻到氯的味道了。"我知道有人爱我。我知道我帮助了别人。我只是觉得这无关紧要。我今天救的小马明天就会死掉。"
“Everypony dies. You’ve seen what happens when they don’t. Don’t tell me that’s preferable,” the Dealer said as he showed me three cards depicting Rampage, Blueblood, and Deus.
"每匹小马都会死。你已经看到了他们不这么做的后果。"别告诉我这样更好,"商人一边说，一边给我看了三张描述狂暴、贵族和上帝的卡片。
“I’m not talking about eventually. I’m talking about dying bad. We’re just barely holding on, and every day a little bit more just falls away. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me there’s hope in this poisoned land.” He sighed and stopped shuffling the cards, just holding them between his hooves. I sat down beside him. “I need to know what I’m living for. I need to know that… that there’s something better possible. That it’s not going to keep getting worse and worse.” I sighed and leaned back, tapping my head against the metal wall. I was sick of being the universe’s chew toy.
"我说的不是最终。我说的是死得很惨。我们只是勉强坚持，每一天都有一点点消失。告诉我我错了。告诉我这片毒土里还有希望。"他叹了口气，停止洗牌，只是用蹄子夹着。我在他旁边坐下。"我需要知道我为什么而活。我需要知道...还有更好的可能。情况不会越来越糟。"我叹了口气，向后靠了靠，用头轻轻地敲着金属墙。我厌倦了当宇宙的咀嚼玩具。
“I know, Blackjack. It’s a question I ask myself too,” he said with a small, old smile.
"我知道，黑杰克。我也在问自己这个问题,"他带着一丝微笑说道。
“Of course you do. ‘Cause you’re my crazy,” I said as I looked down at the sleek black PipBuck. “So how am I supposed to find out where this EC thing is supposed to go next?” Was I supposed to thump it? Shake it?
"当然了。"因为你是我的疯子,"我一边说，一边低头看着那条黑色光滑的皮布克鱼。"那么，我该如何找出这个欧共体的下一步走向呢?"我应该重击它吗？摇一摇？
“You’re asking me?” he chuckled, and the PipBuck blinked. ‘Equestria Military Command Hub: Hoofington. Ironmare Station.’ The display showed the navigation further east and was even kind enough to copy it on to Marmalade’s PipBuck.
"你在问我吗?"他咯咯地笑了，皮伯克眨了眨眼睛。小马国军事指挥中心:胡芬顿。铁马站显示屏显示的导航位置更靠东，甚至友好地将其复制到Marmalade的PipBuck上。
I held up the black device with my magic. “It can calculate the value of radroach meat, tell me if somepony plans to kill me or not, and can download the data I need and move it around for convenience even if I don’t have a clue how to look for the data. Is there anything it doesn’t do?”
我用魔法举起了那个黑色的装置。"它可以计算旱鸭子肉的价值，告诉我是否有人计划杀死我，还可以下载我需要的数据，并为了方便起见移动它，即使我不知道如何寻找这些数据。还有什么是它做不到的吗?"
“Tell you the secret of happiness, apparently,” he replied dryly, shaking his head. “So… are you going to kill yourself still?”
"显然，告诉你幸福的秘密吧,"他干巴巴地回答，摇着头。"那么......你还是要自杀吗?"
“Probably,” I muttered as I looked at him. “I can’t live with what I’ve done. I know it wasn’t my fault. I know that. But every second I’m not doing something, it’s tearing me apart. Homage was right. I need to find something to live for. Something that matters. Or I need to kill myself before I become a complete monster.” He just stared at me, and I smiled mirthlessly. “I can feel it happening, Dealer. It happened in the stable. I fought to kill until I almost died killing everypony around me. What if I pulled that in Megamart? Or Chapel? I can’t let that happen. I can’t let gassing my stable ever be okay. I just can’t.”
"也许吧,"我看着他喃喃自语。"我无法忍受我的所作所为。我知道这不是我的错。我知道。但是每一秒我没有在做什么事情，它都在撕裂我。致敬是正确的。我需要找到活下去的理由。一些重要的事情。或者在我变成一个彻头彻尾的怪物之前自杀。"他只是盯着我，我苦笑着。"我能感觉到它正在发生，庄家。事情发生在马厩里。我拼命杀戮，直到我差点杀死身边的每一匹小马。如果我在Megamart也这么做呢？或者小礼拜堂？我不能让这种事发生。我不能让毒气治好我的马厩。我就是做不到。"
He put his hoof in mine. “You remind me of how things used to be, Blackjack. I hope you find what you need. The Wasteland needs you. Your friends need you. I need you.” And with that, my crazy hallucination went away.
他踢了我的蹄子。"你让我想起了过去的事情，Blackjack。我希望你能找到你需要的东西。荒原需要你。你的朋友需要你。我需要你。"就这样，我疯狂的幻觉消失了。
I found a pencil and some scrap paper in my packs. ‘Went for a walk. Might not be back. Meet you in Megamart if I am. Sorry. BJ.’ Then I fished out the StealthBuck, and, after some fiddling, activated its magic. I headed down till I heard P-21 searching. I looked at him with a parting smile. I slipped the note under my Delta PipBuck and set it down in the doorway for P-21 to discover. Then I headed out the door. Feeling better than I had in ages, I started north.
我在包里发现了一支铅笔和一些废纸。去散步了。可能不会回来了。如果是的话在Megamart见。对不起。Bj然后我掏出隐形巴克，小小地拉了一会儿，就发动了它的魔力。我一直往下走，直到听到P-21搜索的声音。我带着临别的微笑看着他。我把纸条塞进我的德尔塔・皮布克笔记本里，放在门口让P-21发现。然后我出了门。感觉比以前好多了，我开始北上。
Towards the sea.
走向大海。
* * *
* * *
I wasn’t really paying attention to how long I wandered. An hour? Two? Three? Night arrived, my eyes transforming everything into amber hues. Due north, the land became rocky, and here and there were thin gray trees with a few sick leaves clinging to them. I could hear the steady, repetitive but constantly unique sound of the waves growing louder and louder with each passing moment.
我真的没有注意到我徘徊了多久。一个小时？两个？三个？夜幕降临，我的眼睛把一切都变成了琥珀色。正北方的土地变得多岩石，到处都是稀疏的灰色树木，上面粘着几片病叶。我可以听到海浪发出的持续的、重复的但是独一无二的声音随着时间的推移越来越大。
And then the land ended.
然后大地终结了。
Before me was a great wedge of stone thrusting out into that great endless plane of churning water. Cold wind snapped at me, the clouds overhead spitting occasional cold blasts of rain that mixed with the salty tang in the air. Step by step, I walked along a narrow trail that wound towards that point, passing by desiccated picnic tables and rusted fire pits. Marmalade’s PipBuck chimed softly. ‘Star Point’ appeared on the navigation tool. Finally, I came to the end. The tip of the great stone triangle. Surrounded by all that openness, I felt that old familiar sensation swallow me. The rusted remains of guardrails ran around the edges of that great wedge of stone. The long grass rattled softly in the wind.
在我面前是一块巨大的楔形石头，插入那无边无际的翻腾的水面。寒风猛烈地吹向我，头顶上的云层时不时地喷出阵阵冷雨，夹杂着空气中的咸味。我一步一步地沿着一条狭窄的小路向那个地方走去，经过干燥的野餐桌和生锈的火坑。玛玛拉德的皮伯克轻声说道。"星点"出现在导航工具上。最后，我走到了尽头。大石三角形的尖端。被这种开放包围着，我感到那种熟悉的感觉吞噬了我。锈迹斑斑的护栏沿着那块大石头的边缘延伸。长草在风中发出轻微的嘎嘎声。
At least I had company.
至少我还有同伴。
One lone skeleton lay there in the center of the rock, protected by a slight divot. A few rags and a decayed duffel bag anchored the unicorn’s remains. “Hey,” I said softly to the bones as I clenched my eyes shut, feeling the familiar panic rolling back and forth within me giving way to a resignation that, bad as it felt, was tolerable.
一具孤零零的骨架躺在岩石的中央，被一小片草皮保护着。几块破布和一个腐烂的行李袋锚定了独角兽的遗骸。"嘿,"我闭上眼睛，轻轻地对那些骨头说，感觉到熟悉的恐慌在我体内来回翻滚，让位于一种顺从，虽然感觉很糟糕，但还可以忍受。
I opened my eyes again and looked out at that cold, vast emptiness. A hard mountain loomed to the west. The harbor ruins stretched to the east. Behind me was 99 and all my bloody sins. Ahead of me, nothing but stark emptiness. I felt as if I were alone on the moon.
我再次睁开眼睛，望着外面那冰冷、巨大的空虚。一座坚硬的山向西隐约出现。港口的废墟一直延伸到东边。在我身后是99和我所有的血腥的罪恶。在我面前，只有赤裸裸的空虚。我觉得好像在月球上我是孤独的。
“I hope you don’t mind some company,” I murmured softly as I drew Vigilance. I was over. This was done. I pressed the gun to the underside of my jaw and clenched my eyes. If there was something, anything to keep me alive, now would be the time for it.
"我希望你不介意有人陪伴,"我轻声地说，同时我画出了警惕。我结束了。这件事已经结束了。我把枪抵在下巴下面，紧闭双眼。如果有什么东西，任何能让我活下去的东西，现在正是时候。
I pulled the trigger.
我扣动了扳机。
The weapon clicked softly as the cool metal ring kissed the underside of my jaw. Slowly, I moved the gun back into my field of view and stared down at it. At the safety. I slowly shook as I looked at that little tab above the trigger. Salty tears mixed with the ocean spray as I curled up beside those bones. I looked at those eye sockets and the salt-crusted glasses that lay atop them. They seemed to stare at me, asking me why I was doing this.
武器发出轻轻的咔嗒声，凉爽的金属环轻轻地吻着我的下巴。慢慢地，我把枪移回我的视野，低头看着它。在安全的地方。当我看着扳机上的小标签时，我慢慢地颤抖起来。当我蜷缩在那些骨头旁时，咸咸的眼泪夹杂着海水的浪花。我看着那些眼窝和放在上面的盐壳玻璃杯。他们似乎盯着我，问我为什么要这么做。
Had this mare come out here to die when the bombs fell? Choosing where she would finally meet her end? Had she died weeping? In pain? Or had she wanted to live? To stay with the ponies that loved her? To stay in a world that was dying
当炸弹落下的时候，这匹母马会死在这里吗？选择她将在哪里最终结束她的生命？她是哭着去世的吗？在痛苦中？还是她想活下去？和爱她的小马呆在一起？留在一个濒临死亡的世界
and falling apart?
然后分崩离析？
What sense was there living in a world that only got worse? In a world without Princesses? Where the only reward for doing good was misery and everything worthwhile became tarnished? I flicked off the safety. Four hundred murders.
生活在一个只会变得更糟的世界里有什么意义呢？在一个没有公主的世界？做好事的唯一回报就是痛苦，所有值得做的事都被玷污了？我打开了保险栓。400起谋杀案。
Forty colts and fillies. Scoodle. If the penalty for murder was death, then I wished I could die four hundred and forty one times to pay the price in full.
四十匹小马和小雌马。史酷德。如果对于谋杀的惩罚是死亡，那么我希望我可以死四百四十一次来支付全部的价格。
Bowing my head, I put the barrel in my mouth. Felt the cool silver plate. Tasted the salt on the barrel.
我低下头，把酒桶放进嘴里。感觉到冰凉的银盘子。尝了尝桶上的盐味。
The skull of the pony broke free and bumped against my leg. I looked down at it and the still-faintly-blue horn touching my knee. “How do I go on living?” I whispered.
小马的头骨折断了，撞在我的腿上。我低头看着它，依然微弱的蓝色号角碰到了我的膝盖。"我该怎么活下去?"我低声说。
Then I saw that the seam on the bag had split. A few ratty clothes. A foal’s rattle. A battered recorder. I carefully pulled it out; the machine was trashed, but I connected my PipBuck to it. There were only two fragments recoverable. I played the last.
然后我看到袋子上的接缝开裂了。几件破旧的衣服。小马驹的咯咯声。破录音机。我小心翼翼地把它拔了出来，机器被弄得一团糟，但我还是把我的PipBuck连上了它。只有两个碎片可以恢复。我玩了最后一个。
There was lots of yelling, shouting, shoving, and scared cries. “Mommy, I’m scared. Where are we going?”
到处都是喊叫、叫喊、推搡和害怕的哭喊声。"妈妈，我很害怕。我们要去哪里?"
“We’re going to a stable, sweetie. Remember? Just like I told you,” she said softly,
"我们要去马厩，亲爱的。还记得吗？就像我告诉你的那样,"她温柔地说,
“I don’t want to go to a stable! I want to go home. Why can’t we go home, Mommy?”
"我不想去马厩！我想回家。为什么我们不能回家，妈妈?"
“Shhh. Shhh. We have to go. It’s the only safe place left.”
"嘘。嘘。我们得走了。这是唯一安全的地方。"
“Stable pass?” asked a mare.
"稳定通过?"一匹母马问。
“Here. For me and my daughter.”
"这儿。为了我和我女儿。"
“Whoa whoa whoa! This pass is for Stable 90! Not 99. You can’t just swap these things.”
"哇，哇，哇！这个传球是为了稳定90！不是99。你不能就这样把这些东西掉包。"
“Please, there’s no way we can reach Stable 90 in time!”
"拜托，我们不可能及时到达Stable90!"
“That’s not my fault. Get back!”
"这不是我的错。退后!"
There were sounds of a scuffle, and another mare asked in a more authoritative voice, “What’s going on here?”
有一阵扭打的声音，另一匹母马用更有权威的声音问:"这里发生了什么事?"
“Please. Our passes are for 90, not 99, but… please take her!”
"求你了。我们的通行证是90张，不是99张，但是......请带上她!"
“The rules are clear, Trick.” The mother gave a sob.
"规则很清楚，特里克。"母亲抽泣了一声。
“Hrmph. Fuck the rules. My pass says I get to bring a kid if I want. Well, I don’t have one.” Her harsh tone softened. “I’ll take her.”
"哎呀。去他妈的规则。我的通行证上说如果我愿意我可以带一个孩子。嗯，我没有。"她那刺耳的声音变得柔和了。"我带她去。"
“You will? Oh thank you. Thank you! Honey, you need to go with this nice pony, okay?”
""你会吗？哦，谢谢。谢谢！亲爱的，你得搭配这匹漂亮的小马，好吗?"
“No! Mommy! I want to stay with you!” the filly wailed. “I want to go home. Why can’t we go home?”
"不！妈妈！我想和你在一起!"小母马嚎啕大哭。"我想回家。为什么我们不能回家?"
“Listen! Please. Please!” her mother begged frantically, the filly sniffling. “You have to go with her. This is your home now. You need to live. You have to grow up. To be a big girl. You’re going to do great things. And you’re going to have kids. And they’re going to do great things too. But to do that you have to live.”
"听着！求你了。求你了!"她母亲疯狂地哀求，小母马抽泣着。"你必须和她一起去。现在这里就是你的家。你需要活下去。你必须长大。成为一个大女孩。你会成就一番大事业。你们会有孩子的。他们也会做很多伟大的事情。但要做到这一点，你就必须活下去。"
“No, Mommy, no…”
"不，妈妈，不......"
“Always remember how proud I am of you. How glad I am to see you go becoming such a good girl. You kept me going. You kept me strong. And now you have to go and help other ponies, too. Please. Promise me you’ll keep going. Promise me you’ll live.”
"永远记得我是多么为你骄傲。看到你成为这样一个好女孩，我是多么高兴。你让我坚持下去。你让我坚强。现在你得去帮助其他的小马了。求你了。答应我你会坚持下去。答应我你不会死。"
A sob, a sniffle, and then the filly said, “I promise, Mommy. I promise.”
一声呜咽，一声抽泣，小母马说:"我保证，妈妈。我保证。"
“That’s my big girl. My good girl. You have stars in your eyes. Don’t ever forget that.”
"这才是我的大姑娘。我的好姑娘。你的眼睛里有星星。永远不要忘记这一点。"
“We’ve got to seal the stable, ma’am,” the mare said softly. “There’s a whole mob coming.”
"我们得把马厩封起来，夫人,"母马轻轻地说。"一大群暴徒要来了。"
“Thank you.” A sniff and a nuzzle. “I love you. I love you.”
"谢谢。"用鼻子嗅和用鼻子爱抚。"我爱你。我爱你。"
“I love you, Mommy,” the little filly blubbered. “I love you!”
"我爱你，妈妈,"小母马哭着说。"我爱你!"
“Come on, honey. Let’s get inside. I’ll show you a trick. It’s my super special talent.”
"来吧，亲爱的。我们进去吧。我给你表演一个魔术。这是我的超级特殊才能。"
“Goodbye…” the mother whispered. There was a metallic grind of the door rolling into place.
"再见......"母亲低声说。门滚动到位时发出金属摩擦的声音。
I wept as I looked down at her bones. She’d given her daughter away to save her. How many parents had made that same sacrifice? Who had something they loved so much that it was more important than their own life?
我低头看着她的尸骨，哭了起来。为了救她，她把女儿送人了。有多少家长做出了同样的牺牲？谁会拥有比自己的生命更重要的东西？
What was I living for? What would I be willing to die for? Glory? I cared for her, maybe even loved her a little. Revenge? No, as much as I might hate Sanguine for what he did, I didn’t have some burning vendetta in my heart. Was it virtue? Friendship? Were either of those enough?
我为什么而活？我愿意为什么而死？晨辉？我关心她，也许甚至有点爱她。复仇？不，尽管我可能会因为桑吉尼的所作所为而恨他，但我的心里并没有什么燃烧的仇恨。这是美德吗？友谊？这两样足够了吗？
Would I be here if they were?
如果他们在的话，我还会在这里吗？
I pressed the gun to the side of my head, leaning back this time. I clenched my eyes shut, my magic increasing on the trigger. Then I opened my eyes for one last look at the poor, sick world before I left it.
我把枪抵在头的一侧，这次向后靠了靠。我紧闭双眼，魔法在扳机上越来越强。然后我睁开眼睛，在离开这个贫穷、病态的世界之前，最后看了它一眼。
Stars.
星星。
The hole in the cloud was no bigger than my hoof, and only a dozen or so stars twinkled softly in the night.
云层上的洞没有我的蹄子大，只有十几颗星星在夜里轻轻地闪烁。
Only a fool would demand power of the stars.
只有傻瓜才会要求星星的力量。
“Please…” I said as I stared up at that gap in the heavens, at those tiny winking jewels in the sky as tears ran down my face. “Please… help me. I need something. Anything. Anything that can make me bear this.” My gun trembled as I begged the heavens for something to stop this. To give me a reason to go on, a reason that I could live with. Something that could made the murder of hundreds bearable.
"请......"我说，我凝视着天空中的裂缝，凝视着天空中那些小小的闪烁的珠宝，泪水顺着我的脸颊滑落。"请......帮帮我。我需要点东西。什么都行。任何能让我承受这一切的东西。"我的枪颤抖着，祈求上天给我些什么来阻止这一切。给我一个继续生活的理由，一个我可以接受的理由。一些能让数百人的谋杀变得可以忍受的东西。
My horn brightened.
我的号角亮了起来。
“Blackjack?” asked a tiny metallic voice behind me. “What are you doing?”
"黑杰克?"我身后一个微弱的金属般的声音问道。"你在干什么?"
Slowly, ever so slowly, I turned to look at the bobbing spritebot. “Watcher?” I whispered, my voice cracking.
慢慢地，慢慢地，我转过头来看着那个上下摆动的斜杠机器人。"守望者?"我低声说，声音嘶哑。
Those robotic eyes just stayed focused on me as I sniffed and said, “I’m afraid I fucked up again.”
那些机器人的眼睛一直盯着我，我吸着鼻子说,"我害怕我又搞砸了。"
The tiny machine bobbed closer. “I’d disagree with that. Why don’t you put the gun down and tell me about it?” Slowly, I lowered the weapon and told the robot everything that’d happened from the gas station to now. I told him everything, my lies and fears and how much I hated myself for wanting to die when so many others wanted to live but didn’t. This poor mare had lost everything to save her daughter. Why couldn’t I find a reason to live in this dying, poisoned world?
那台小机器上下摆动得更近了。"我不同意这种说法。你为什么不把枪放下来告诉我呢?"慢慢地，我放下武器，告诉机器人从加油站到现在发生的一切。我把一切都告诉了他，我的谎言和恐惧，以及我有多恨自己想死，而其他那么多人想活却不想。这匹可怜的母马为了救她的女儿失去了一切。为什么我不能找到一个理由生活在这个垂死的，被毒害的世界？
“Wow. Blackjack. Just… wow,” the spritebot said in its tinny voice. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine anything that would make that easier.”
"哇。黑杰克。只是......哇,"飞行机器人用它细小的声音说。"对不起。我无法想象还有什么能让这件事变得更容易。"
“Yeah,” I said as I faced the robot. “You told me the way to survive Scoodle’s death was to fight every second to make things better. But I haven’t made things better. I’ve just raised my death count by a factor of ten.” I closed my eyes. “You told me you knew ponies whose fuck ups killed millions. Do you think those ponies could live with those deaths?”
"是的,"我面对着机器人说。"你告诉我，在斯库德尔死后生存下来的方法就是每一秒都战斗，让事情变得更好。但我并没有让事情变得更好。我刚刚把我的死亡人数提高了十倍。"我闭上了眼睛。"你告诉我你认识一些小马，它们的混蛋杀死了数百万人。你认为那些小马可以忍受那些死亡吗?"
“I don’t know. I really don’t.”
"我不知道。我真的不知道。"
“How do you survive, Watcher?” I asked quietly.
"你是怎么活下来的，守望者?"我平静地问道。
“What do you mean?”
"什么意思?"
“Well, you watch the Wasteland. You try and get ponies to do good things.
"好吧，你看《荒原》。你试图让小马做好事。
You’ve seen failure time and time again. You’ve seen the Wasteland decaying.
你已经一次又一次地看到失败。你已经看到了荒原的衰败。
What keeps you going?” I asked softly.
是什么让你坚持下去?"我轻声问道。
He fluttered before me. “Hope,” he replied after a minute. “Hope that someday my mistakes can be forgiven and hope that Equestria can heal.”
他在我面前颤抖着。"希望,"过了一会儿他回答。"希望有一天我的错误能被原谅，希望Equestria能够痊愈。"
I looked out at that endless dark water. “I don’t see how anypony can have hope anymore.”
我望着那无尽的黑暗的水面。"我看不出任何小马还有什么希望了。"
The spritebot just bobbed there for a second. Then he said quietly, “Would you like me to show you?”
那个弹跳机器人在那儿晃了一下。然后他平静地说:"要我带你去看看吗?"
“What?” I asked as I looked at the bot sharply.
"什么?"我尖锐地看着机器人问道。
“You’re literally only a few minutes from me. If you promised not to tell another soul… and I showed you what gives me hope day after day… do you think you could live?”
"你离我只有几分钟的路程。如果你答应不告诉任何人......而我日复一日地向你展示是什么给了我希望......你认为你还能活下去吗?"
I just stared at him and then gave a shrug. “Maybe.”
我只是盯着他，然后耸了耸肩。"也许吧。"
“Then stay there and don’t move.” And with a crackle, the bug robot resumed its normal behavior and flew back into the gray woods.
"那就呆在那儿别动。"随着噼啪的一声，虫子机器人恢复了正常的行为，飞回了灰色的树林。
Don’t move? I looked around the flat slab of rock. The rainy woods. The black waters. The gray ruins and the looming dark mountains.
别动？我环顾了一下那块平坦的岩石。多雨的树林。黑色的海水。灰色的废墟和隐约可见的黑色山脉。
One minute. Two. I sighed, and then saw something glint through the tear in the bag. The frame was corroded and flaked from the salt, but the glass had preserved the drawing within. The unicorn mare with the streaks in her mane looked down at the small filly in her embrace, holding her still for the artist. I looked at the two streaks of color in her shaggy mane, rather like a skunk and not like her mother at all. Even after two centuries, there was a bright light in the filly’s eyes. I supposed that that could have been artist’s fancy though.
一分钟。二。我叹了口气，然后看到有什么东西在袋子的裂缝里闪闪发光。框架被盐腐蚀剥落，但玻璃保存了里面的画。那匹鬃毛上有条纹的独角马低头看着她怀抱中的小母马，为了艺术家让她静止不动。我看着她浓密的鬃毛上两道条纹的颜色，有点像臭鼬，一点也不像她的母亲。即使过了两个世纪，小母马的眼睛里还是有一道亮光。我猜想那可能是艺术家的幻想。
Then I stared hard at the mother. I’d seen her before, but where?
然后我狠狠地盯着那位母亲。我以前见过她，但是在哪儿呢？
And then I was flying through the air, screaming like crazy as the dark waves flashed beneath me. Razor-sharp talons tightened against me as we flew higher and higher, powerful wings blasting me with a gale. I looked at the massive reptilian head, the scaly purple hide, and the lashing tail as we lifted clear up into the clouds. All the while, I screamed like crazy. This was NOT how I wanted to die.
然后我在空中飞翔，当黑暗的波浪在我身下闪过时，我疯狂地尖叫着。当我们飞得越来越高时，锋利的爪子紧紧地抓着我，强有力的翅膀狂风般地向我扑来。我看着巨大的爬行动物的头部，鳞状的紫色兽皮，以及我们升空进入云层时鞭打着的尾巴。一直以来，我都像疯了一样尖叫着。这不是我想要的死法。
“Relax, Blackjack,” the dragon growled in its deep voice. “I told you I was coming to get you, didn’t I?” he said as he flew higher, up through the tops of the clouds, and higher still towards a cave near the top of the suddenly much closer mountain.
"放松点，黑杰克,"龙用低沉的声音咆哮着。"我告诉过你我会来接你的，不是吗?"他一边说，一边飞得更高，穿过云层，飞得更高，飞向山顶附近的一个洞穴。
“Watcher?”
"守望者?"
He grinned down at me.
他朝我咧嘴一笑。
I took a deep breath and yelled at the top of my lungs, “Couldn’t you have mentioned you’re a frigging dragon?!”
我深吸了一口气，用最大的声音喊道:"你就不能提一下你是一条该死的龙吗?"
* * *
* * *
Heights like this were no good. No good at all. I was glad the flight was mercifully brief and that I hadn’t the opportunity to soil my armor before I was deposited inside the cave. The large purple and green dragon immediately started to check the cave. “Wait here,” he growled as I stood next to a massive pile of gems. If that treasure wasn’t what he was so worried about, then I didn’t worry about idly kicking a few errant diamonds back towards the heap. On one spot of floor was a black charred patch that reeked of burnt flesh. I gave it a wide berth.
这么高的地方可不好。一点都不好。我很高兴这次飞行幸运地很短暂，而且在我被放进洞穴之前我没有机会弄脏我的盔甲。那条紫绿相间的大龙立刻开始检查洞穴。"在这儿等着,"当我站在一大堆宝石旁边时，他咆哮道。如果那些宝藏不是他所担心的，那么我也不用担心无所事事地把一些乱七八糟的钻石踢回堆里。地板上有一块黑色的炭块，上面散发着烧焦肉体的臭味。我对它敬而远之。
He returned with a relieved look on his face, walking to the pile of gems and flopping down on it as he pressed a hand to his chest. “Whew. I don’t think I’ve left my cave in… forever. It looks like the Enclave didn’t have time to sneak in and try something.” He looked at the burnt patch on the floor. “They’re a little bit sore with me, at the moment.”
他回来了，脸上带着一种宽慰的表情，走向那堆宝石，一手按在胸前，一屁股坐在上面。"哎呀。我不认为我已经离开我的洞穴...永远。看起来昂科雷没有时间溜进去试试。"他看了看地板上烧焦的地方。"他们现在对我有点生气。"
The sheer absurdity of the situation snapped me out of my funk enough for me to smile and approach, extending a hoof. “Hi. I’m Blackjack. And you are?”
这种荒谬的局面把我从恐惧中拉了出来，我微笑着走近，伸出一只蹄子。"嗨。我是黑杰克。你是?"
“Spike,” he replied as he rolled on to his side, reaching down and shaking my hoof with remarkable care. “Though most ponies, and I can count the exceptions on two hands, only know me as the Watcher.”
"斯派克,"他一边回答，一边向身体侧过身来，伸手非常小心地摇晃着我的蹄子。"虽然大多数小马，我可以数出两只手上的例外，但只知道我是守望者。"
“Well, thanks,” I said as I looked at the massive dragon and sat down hard. “You know, I really was not expecting this,” I said as I gestured with my forehooves. “I figured you were some ghoul sitting in a shack or bunker somewhere.”
"好的，谢谢。"我看着这条巨龙说，然后重重地坐了下来。"你知道，我真的没想到会这样,"我用前蹄比划着说。"我以为你是某个躲在棚屋或地堡里的食尸鬼。"
“Ponies aren’t the only ones concerned with the future of Equestria. Griffins. Zebras. Even dragons have a stake in seeing it put back to normal.”
"并不是只有小马才关心Equestria的未来。狮鹫。斑马。即使是龙也希望看到它恢复正常。"
“I’m still a little fuzzy as to why? Your name rings a bell...”
"我还是不太明白为什么？你的名字让我想起了......"
He sighed with a sad little smile. “No surprise. Rarity always kept me on a low profile. With so many dragons helping the zebras, well... it got awkward.” He sat up a little. “You’re looking at Twilight Sparkle’s number one special assistant.”
他叹了口气，带着一丝忧伤的微笑。"没什么好惊讶的。罕见总是使我保持低调。有这么多的龙在帮助斑马，嗯......真是尴尬。"他稍微坐直了一点。"你现在看到的是紫悦的头号特别助理。"
I stared at him and gave my head a hard shake. “Twilight Sparkle... had a
我盯着他，狠狠地摇了摇头。"紫悦...有一个
dragon... as an assistant?!”
阿龙...当助手?
“Well, I was just a baby at the time,” he replied with a modest smile. “This was a long time ago. Before the ministries. The war. Everything. Back when it was just the seven of us in Ponyville and my biggest problems were diamond dogs kidnapping Rarity.” He looked wistfully away. “Sometimes, I can close my eyes and almost smell Twilight’s daffodil and daisy sandwich.”
"嗯，那时我还是个婴儿,"他带着谦虚的微笑回答道。"这是很久以前的事了。在政府部门之前。战争。一切。那时候在Ponyville只有我们七个人，我最大的问题是钻石狗绑架稀有物。"他若有所思地把目光移开。"有时候，我闭上眼睛，几乎能闻到《暮光之城》里的水仙花和雏菊三明治的味道。"
That stabbed at me. “As if that will ever happen again,” I muttered, my gaze dropping.
那刺伤了我。"好像这种事还会发生似的,"我低声说，目光落在了地上。
That claw reached down to tilt my face up. “It will. You asked me what it was that gives me hope every day. Hope to try and help ponies in the Wasteland. To help them to do better?”
那爪子伸了下来，把我的脸翘了起来。"会的。你问我是什么让我每天都充满希望。希望尝试帮助荒地上的小马。帮助他们做得更好?"
I swallowed hard and nodded. Please… please let this be what I need.
我使劲咽了口唾沫，点了点头。拜托...拜托让这成为我所需要的。
He slowly stood once more and started towards the back of the cave. “Why don’t you come with me? You need to see something.”
他又慢慢地站了起来，朝着山洞的后面走去。"你为什么不和我一起去呢？你需要看点东西。"
“What?” I asked as I followed.
"什么?"我一边跟着一边问。
“The thing that may someday save Equestria.”
"也许有一天能拯救小马国。"
 
Footnote: Level Up.
脚注:水平上升。
New Perk added: Weapon Handling - Either your horn’s gotten tough enough to handle the kick or you’ve broken in that battle saddle. Weapon strength requirements are two less for you.
新帕金斯补充说:武器处理-要么你的角已经足够强硬来处理踢或你已经破坏在战斗马鞍。武器强度的要求对你来说少了两个。
Quest Perk added: Star touched - The stars are watching out for you: others suffer a 10% penalty to crit chance and a 25% penalty to crit damage against you.
任务咖啡馆补充:星星碰触-星星正在注视着你:其他人遭受10%的暴击几率和25%的暴击伤害。
 
Author's Notes:
作者笔记:
(Huge thanks to Kkat for creating FoE, Hinds and Bronode for making it
(非常感谢Kkat创造了地球之友，Hinds和Bronode制造了它
decent to read, and Sarsaparilla Fizz for helping me get out of a plot hole at the beginning of the chapter. (Even if he doesn’t read PH cause it’s too depressing.))
这本书读起来不错，还有《撒尔沙汽水》，感谢它帮助我从这一章开头的情节漏洞中走出来。(即使他不读PH，因为它太压抑了。)
Chapter 24: Hell of a Night
第二十四章地狱之夜
Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons
小马国:地平线计划
By Somber
作者:Somber